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I Ate the Berry (1 Viewer)

Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson

Footballguy
Some time ago, down a deep innerwebs drunken rabbit hole I discovered a fruit called "The Miracle Berry". It's a West African bush that grows in hot climates and produces a small red berry that when eaten by humans purportedly causes sour foods to taste sweet for a little while after eating it. So I bought a plant and have carefully tended it for a while now, but alas no fruits.  While in Costa Rica we stopped by a botanical garden that had some as part of its collection hoping to try one but they weren't producing at the moment.  But I did interrogate the poor gardener as best I could in my broken Spanglish. Who knows what he thought I was asking but I think he told me they fruit 2-3 times a year after they are 2-3 years old and the berries can be eaten when red and soft. Upon arriving home I noticed that there were actually three little green berries on the bush. I've been watching them and two were perfectly ripe today. The third will probably be ready in a day or two.

So minutes ago, I ate one and my wife ate the other.  We both immediately bit into a lemon and instantly regretted it and proclaimed the bush a huge ripoff in language that might break the language filter on this site. But being the perfect combination of stubborn, stupid, and inquisitive I waited a minute and took another crack at the lemon.  Holy ####!  It worked.  The ####### lemon actually tasted like lemonade.

So, who wants the third berry? I can probably ship it to someone within a day or two of FL.

Berries on Bush

Down the Hatch

 
I tried these once and it was pretty amazing.  I can't stand olives to the point where I will gag if I try to eat one.  I popped a green olive after eating a couple of these berries and it tasted like a ####### cherry.  

 
Fast food companies are doing this to you on a daily basis - and if that statement offends you, it's too late - you're already addicted to their chemicals. If a natural, whole food can do this to your brain, imagine what decades of artificial engineering can accomplish (on unlimited budgets, to boot). Sorry to use your magic berry thread as a platform.

 
Scoresman said:
I tried these once and it was pretty amazing.  I can't stand olives to the point where I will gag if I try to eat one.  I popped a green olive after eating a couple of these berries and it tasted like a ####### cherry.  
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How does one reach the point in life when you are willing to eat some strange exotic berry and then follow it up with a particular food you find absolutely revolting?

 
I read about these a few years ago but they can't be found in a typical store so I forgot about them. Where did you buy your plant from? Did you really have to tend to it for 3 years?

 
EYLive said:
I read about these a few years ago but they can't be found in a typical store so I forgot about them. Where did you buy your plant from? Did you really have to tend to it for 3 years?
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Some store online.  It was about 2 when I got it.  I think I've only had it about a year.

 
Galileo said:
How does one reach the point in life when you are willing to eat some strange exotic berry and then follow it up with a particular food you find absolutely revolting?
Click to expand...
Maybe not the answer that you are looking for, but ...

In my wilder days, I ate mushrooms a bit. AWFUL - at least the ones I ingested. If there was a berry that transformed them to ambrosia; I'd a paid a ransom. 

 
Man of Constant Sorrow said:
Maybe not the answer that you are looking for, but ...

In my wilder days, I ate mushrooms a bit. AWFUL - at least the ones I ingested. If there was a berry that transformed them to ambrosia; I'd a paid a ransom. 
Click to expand...
During my college days in Texas, we used to pick them fresh and brew mushroom tea and put fresh caps onto pizza.  The tea was awful tasting.  The pizza technique was tolerable because...pizza.  I digress, but your point is well taken...

 
Galileo said:
During my college days in Texas, we used to pick them fresh and brew mushroom tea and put fresh caps onto pizza.  The tea was awful tasting.  The pizza technique was tolerable because...pizza.  I digress, but your point is well taken...
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Nice. I did the tea - ONCE - never again. I also did the pizza a few times.

I think I had the best success in a salad with lots of ranch dressing. I often puked a few hours later, and the pizza toppings were harsher on the way back out than the veggies.

 
KCitons said:
How long does it last? Are your taste buds forever altered?
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I've tried this in tablet form - first time was probably 10 years ago, and I think I still have a few at home.  Break them out at parties once it a while and do shots of vinegar. Search for "miracle fruit tablets" - Amazon has several.

Lasts maybe 10 minutes.

 
heckmanm said:
I've tried this in tablet form - first time was probably 10 years ago, and I think I still have a few at home.  Break them out at parties once it a while and do shots of vinegar. Search for "miracle fruit tablets" - Amazon has several.

Lasts maybe 10 minutes.
Click to expand...
Ain't no party like a heckmanm party...

 
I ordered these online a few years ago. Amazing! They worked so well we threw a party and had all different kinds of fruit and foods put out and gave everyone a berry. It was a lot of fun.

 
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