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M.D.G.C.J.S.C.O.F. - A.K.A The Fire Thread (Henry Ford Suspects Meth, tennis balls no longer come in cans)

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Henry isn't making that up. I used to remove cartridges from pens for emergency crack pipes. 

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I love how the kid thinks he's gotten away scot free and your iFriends are suggesting now that he's making pipes for heavy drugs. 

Talk about the Sword of Damocles for this guy. 

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1 hour ago, Ditkaless Wonders said:

Anyhow, back to the conundrum at hand.  Time for some surveillance cams.

Garbage Can Cam.

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18 minutes ago, Encumbrance said:

I love how the kid thinks he's gotten away scot free and your iFriends are suggesting now that he's making pipes for heavy drugs. 

Talk about the Sword of Damocles for this guy. 

As an unnamed lawmaker once said in debate about a bill before the legislature, "The Sword of Damocles is hanging over Pandora's Box."

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21 minutes ago, Encumbrance said:

Henry isn't making that up. I used to remove cartridges from pens for emergency crack pipes. 

I'm not imaginative enough to make this sort of thing up.  Probably why I never got into crack.

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Just now, Henry Ford said:

I'm not imaginative enough to make this sort of thing up.  Probably why I never got into crack.

I think it'd be too flippant if I called it induction rather than imagination, but it does not take that inventive a mind to go from the plastic/glass tubes that come with a rose in them (the kind you blow out from the tube and replace with Chore Boy or other copper scrubber) to go to a pen. Surely with your mental dexterity and left to your own devices, you might surprise yourself and concoct this.  

But enough about my experiences. 

Back to the boy. (Or girl.)

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4 minutes ago, Henry Ford said:

I looked and didn't see... how old are these kids?

Son turns 17 in a month, daughter is 15 1/2

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3 minutes ago, Encumbrance said:

I think it'd be too flippant if I called it induction rather than imagination, but it does not take that inventive a mind to go from the plastic/glass tubes that come with a rose in them (the kind you blow out from the tube and replace with Chore Boy or other copper scrubber) to go to a pen. Surely with your mental dexterity and left to your own devices, you might surprise yourself and concoct this.  

But enough about my experiences. 

Back to the boy. (Or girl.)

While my compatriots were hollowing out apples and pieces of driftwood, I was purchasing them actual pipes for gifts.  This is likely why I became a lawyer instead of a Deadhead.

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1 minute ago, Foosball God said:

Son turns 17 in a month, daughter is 15 1/2

Ah.

Then, yes, without knowing anything at all about you, your son, or your circumstances, and only knowing what has been posted in here, your title is accurate as to my immediate suspicions.

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14 minutes ago, Henry Ford said:

As an unnamed lawmaker once said in debate about a bill before the legislature, "The Sword of Damocles is hanging over Pandora's Box."

Its a family site guy!

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2 hours ago, Hov34 said:

Me 3, and "re-kindled" in Bob's Burgers.

 

I think I learned it originally from a Popeye cartoon....

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On 11/18/2019 at 2:38 PM, Henry Ford said:

:lmao:

You're supposed to spray it near the bulb when the light is off, then when the bulb is turned on later it'll warm it up.

 

Check out Mr. Lucky with access to Seventeen magazine.  I had to resort to Better Home and Gardens  

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3 hours ago, Ditkaless Wonders said:

They are probably not old enough to remember wood tennis rackets, nor the presses you stored them in between uses.

 

Damn I'm old.

Why, yes, yes you are.

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DW still calls the Rolling Stones, "That boy band"

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Just now, Leroy Hoard said:

Pandora is a good name for a stripper.

There's a box joke in there somewhere...

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38 minutes ago, Leroy Hoard said:

Pandora is a good name for a stripper.

Free
On-Demand
Anytime
Anywhere
Play anything
Ad-free for $5/mo.

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I may have extended that a little too far at the end.  :oldunsure:

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I am very sad that I just learned about this tennis ball cannon today!  HOW DID I MISS THIS IN MY YOUTH??? Am I the only one looking for old tennis cans on ebay today?

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8 hours ago, top dog said:

I am very sad that I just learned about this tennis ball cannon today!  HOW DID I MISS THIS IN MY YOUTH??? Am I the only one looking for old tennis cans on ebay today?

They made a wonderful popping noise when you opened the can. Best part about playing tennis.

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My underpants just spontaneously caught on fire.

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1 hour ago, Leroy Hoard said:

They made a wonderful popping noise when you opened the can. Best part about playing tennis.

And the stale air smell

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This thread is going to be the Pine Barrens episode of the FFA, isn't it? 

Edited by The Noid

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On 11/20/2019 at 5:39 AM, Leroy Hoard said:

They made a wonderful popping noise when you opened the can. Best part about playing tennis.

That and you save the can, fart in it, and give it to your buddy.

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37 minutes ago, eoMMan said:

My daughter got caught just smoking crack on Friday?

You're asking us?

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On 11/19/2019 at 8:36 AM, Ditkaless Wonders said:

Two quick pyro stories.

As a kid we use to make tennis ball can mortars.  Duck tape two cans end to end with the top can having both the top and bottom removed.  Punch a hole in the bottom, on the side, of the bottom can, pour a bit of lighter fluid down the inside of the entire mortar tube, insert tennis ball, light at the bottom hole and watch that ball fly out maybe 75 yards or so with a satisfying "whoosh" sound.  Well if a little is fun a lot must be better so we began soaking the tennis ball too so that it would shoot out flaming.  Then we decided that if we cut a hole in the tennis ball and filled it with fluid that would be even better, so we did.  We launched the first test down the street, a 600 yard or so down hill straight away before it t'd into another street.  The flaming ball hit the middle of the street and was perfectly aimed so that the crown in the road was not kicking it off to one side or the other.  A beautiful shot, or so we thought.  We can't say for sure what the Officer who turned onto the street thought as to our aim as he saw the flaming ball bouncing and then rolling inexorably towards him, but he did stop his vehicle.  Flaming ball rolled right straight for him and lodged under his front tire.  He had to do something, he was not going to let his cruiser catch on fire.  He decided to drive forward.  Unfortunately that crushed flaming ball, squirting the fluid inside out in one big burst causing quite a flare up.   We ran.  He eventually got the flames out.  Living in a small town running did no good, it was obvious to all who the culprits were.  Punishments ensued.

Damn, all we did was Molotov cocktails and pipe bombs.

Though what I miss from the old days were the plastic q-tips that melted (the new plastic sucks).  They were hollow, so one could cut it in half, partially insert a pin, melt such that pin was retained, and then blow dart through a straw.  We got in lots of trouble with those. 

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I just want to thank the OP for shortening his thread title when he saw it getting long.  I don't think a lot of people appreciated that at the time.  But they may understand why Foos is the hero we needed even when we didn't know it.

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On 11/19/2019 at 9:36 AM, Ditkaless Wonders said:

Two quick pyro stories.

As a kid we use to make tennis ball can mortars.  Duck tape two cans end to end with the top can having both the top and bottom removed.  Punch a hole in the bottom, on the side, of the bottom can, pour a bit of lighter fluid down the inside of the entire mortar tube, insert tennis ball, light at the bottom hole and watch that ball fly out maybe 75 yards or so with a satisfying "whoosh" sound.  Well if a little is fun a lot must be better so we began soaking the tennis ball too so that it would shoot out flaming.  Then we decided that if we cut a hole in the tennis ball and filled it with fluid that would be even better, so we did.  We launched the first test down the street, a 600 yard or so down hill straight away before it t'd into another street.  The flaming ball hit the middle of the street and was perfectly aimed so that the crown in the road was not kicking it off to one side or the other.  A beautiful shot, or so we thought.  We can't say for sure what the Officer who turned onto the street thought as to our aim as he saw the flaming ball bouncing and then rolling inexorably towards him, but he did stop his vehicle.  Flaming ball rolled right straight for him and lodged under his front tire.  He had to do something, he was not going to let his cruiser catch on fire.  He decided to drive forward.  Unfortunately that crushed flaming ball, squirting the fluid inside out in one big burst causing quite a flare up.   We ran.  He eventually got the flames out.  Living in a small town running did no good, it was obvious to all who the culprits were.  Punishments ensued.

 

We used to do this at a campground in New Hampshire in the '70s. Maybe not quite the extra flammable version you describe, but I do know my brother and one of his friends went a little overboard one time and set a fire in the middle of the Little League field down the street.

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21 hours ago, TheIronSheik said:

I just want to thank the OP for shortening his thread title when he saw it getting long.  I don't think a lot of people appreciated that at the time.  But they may understand why Foos is the hero we needed even when we didn't know it.

Wish he owned the college fb thread.

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On 11/19/2019 at 10:24 PM, top dog said:

I am very sad that I just learned about this tennis ball cannon today!  HOW DID I MISS THIS IN MY YOUTH??? Am I the only one looking for old tennis cans on ebay today?

look into "potato cannons". Same idea but with PVC pipes and potatoes.

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On 11/20/2019 at 6:39 AM, Leroy Hoard said:

They made a wonderful popping noise when you opened the can. Best part about playing tennis.

To this day, I still simulate that sound every time I open a new box of golf balls. Kind of forget how it made it's way into the lexicon but it happened back in the day. 

One of the bummer parts about pringles no longer coming in the old metal cans too!

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Just now, Foosball God said:

Thanks, nothing of even that size in the trash though.

Because it burned up  :sigh:

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Just now, Foosball God said:

Was it made out of paper?

You tell me - I didn't burn it

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13 minutes ago, Foosball God said:

I think you did.

That would be a hell of a M. Night Shamalayn twist.

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5 minutes ago, TheIronSheik said:

That would be a hell of a M. Night Shamalayn twist.

Facing the Fire

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I haven't read the last few pages, but with the thread title change I thought it was important to add that you can still buy tennis balls in metal cans if you'd like to make a flaming tennis ball mortar as described by @Ditkaless Wonders.   They're a little harder to find, but you can even get old school white ones in metal cans.   

 

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My wife just showed me some burn marks on the end table in the living room. She has low vision and there is a lamp with two adjustable arms. One arm has a light, the other has a magnifying glass about 6 inches round. (there's also a small quarter sized "super magnifier" area within the larger lense). She also keeps her laptop plugged in on the end table. I thought maybe the laptop overheated. But, upon further investigation, it appears the light from the upper window (faces south) is lining up with the end table and getting really hot. It also melted a 1/2" section on the edge of the laptop lid. Next time we get a bright sunny day, I'm going to see if I can duplicate and start a fire. :devil: :hot: :headbang:

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