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I kept forgetting to post this story but was out last night with my buddy and we were reminded of it again.

A couple weeks ago, we're at a wedding.  It's all my golf buddies and their wives.  We all know each other and everyone gets along.  It's actually a really cool thing.  Anyway, we're standing out before the reception having hors d'oeuvres and just talking.  We're all huddled around as a group just cracking each other up with stories.  It was a Muslim wedding, so no drinks, which meant you had to be pretty on point with your stories to get a laugh.  No cheap drunkard laughs coming your way at this gig.

Well, my one friend and his wife had just gotten back from a trip to Tennessee.  She's a huge Elvis fan and had always wanted to go to Graceland.  So she's telling us the story about how magical it was and how it brought tears to her eyes.  She said they were driving around and they saw a cotton field and she was just amazed at how pretty it looked.  Apparently, she had always heard of cotton fields but never imagined how vast they were.  Which is weird, because we live in an area of the country where cornfields stretch as far as the eye can see.  So I would imagine it's a similar thing?  But what do I know.  I've never seen a cotton field either, so maybe I'd be blown away too.  Doubt it, but who knows.

So she makes her husband stop the car because she wants to get a picture of it.  And after taking a couple of snaps, she decides she wants to take a picture of him in the field.  So he reluctantly goes out a couple of steps and stands there.  But that's not good enough for her.  She wants some kind of action picture.  So she yells, both at the time and at this point of the story telling, "PICK SOME COTTON!  PICK SOME COTTON!!!"  Just as our old black waitress walks up to the group.   So there's the old back lady and my buddy's wife, who's oblivious to her standing near her, yelling "### ####IT, PICK SOME COTTON!!  PICK THE DAMN COTTON!!!"

:lmao:

Her face was so red.  Not the black lady's.  Her face was still black.  But much angrier looking.  Ahhh, unintentional racism.  Too funny.

Reminded me of that Sarah Silverman sketch where she said she hated knickers with the black lady standing behind her.  :lol:

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I guess I should make it clearer that he was reluctant to be in a picture like most men are.  And she was only yelling that because he wouldn't comply to her picture requests.  

I want to make it clear, she had no racist intentions with what she was yelling.  But it sure didn't sound that way, I'm sure, to the nice waitress who walked up midway through that conversation.

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4 minutes ago, TheIronSheik said:

I guess I should make it clearer that he was reluctant to be in a picture like most men are.  And she was only yelling that because he wouldn't comply to her picture requests.  

I want to make it clear, she had no racist intentions with what she was yelling.  But it sure didn't sound that way, I'm sure, to the nice waitress who walked up midway through that conversation.

How can you speak for her intentions?  Sure, she may have told you that, but I bet she also told you that one of her best friends is black.

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7 minutes ago, Ron Swanson said:

So what was the punchline of her story?

Her story wasn't a joke.  She was just telling us about their trip and what they did.  My story wasn't a joke either, I suppose.

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So now she has a story to tell at the next wedding. 

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8 minutes ago, brun said:

So now she has a story to tell at the next wedding. 

As long as that old black lady isn't also working that wedding.  That might be awkward.

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When my wife saw a cotton field for the first time she was amazed. She made me pull over so she could run in to the field and pick some.

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I picture this girl as the "sunset heart hands" girl from the Taco Bell commercial.  Must be smoking to put up with that kind of crazy.

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Nice story, TIS.

A few comments... cotton fields are kinda pretty, with all the white they look similar to a field of snow. 

When did picking cotton become a race thing?  I'm white and my (white) great grandparents were cotton pickers.  They were poor and that's how they made money.  We even had an NBA announcer in OKC get fired last year because he said Westbrook was 'out of his cotton picking mind', which is a phrase I've heard my entire life for white/black/brown/yellow/pink/etc folks.  I'm sure there's a slave connotation to 'cotton picking' but there were a lot of white cotton pickers.  

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9 minutes ago, Poke_4_Life said:

Nice story, TIS.

A few comments... cotton fields are kinda pretty, with all the white they look similar to a field of snow. 

When did picking cotton become a race thing?  I'm white and my (white) great grandparents were cotton pickers.  They were poor and that's how they made money.  We even had an NBA announcer in OKC get fired last year because he said Westbrook was 'out of his cotton picking mind', which is a phrase I've heard my entire life for white/black/brown/yellow/pink/etc folks.  I'm sure there's a slave connotation to 'cotton picking' but there were a lot of white cotton pickers.  

Thanks.

Honestly, I had no idea this little story would result in this reaction.  There was literally zero racism intended.  The whole point was she was just having a normal conversation but because it was walked into at the wrong time, it sounded WAY worse than what it was.  The part that made it funny to us was that she sounded like a horrible person when she's an unbelievably sweet person who would never say anything to offend anyone.

I forgot in this day and age, we can't just see humor in things and have to be offended by everything.  

I tried to tell a funny story and it turned into this.  :shrug:

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1 minute ago, TheIronSheik said:

Thanks.

Honestly, I had no idea this little story would result in this reaction.  There was literally zero racism intended.  The whole point was she was just having a normal conversation but because it was walked into at the wrong time, it sounded WAY worse than what it was.  The part that made it funny to us was that she sounded like a horrible person when she's an unbelievably sweet person who would never say anything to offend anyone.

I forgot in this day and age, we can't just see humor in things and have to be offended by everything.  

I tried to tell a funny story and it turned into this.  :shrug:

I found the story funny...  but I took it on a tangent.  

Thanks for sharing.

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19 minutes ago, Poke_4_Life said:

Nice story, TIS.

A few comments... cotton fields are kinda pretty, with all the white they look similar to a field of snow. 

When did picking cotton become a race thing?  I'm white and my (white) great grandparents were cotton pickers.  They were poor and that's how they made money.  We even had an NBA announcer in OKC get fired last year because he said Westbrook was 'out of his cotton picking mind', which is a phrase I've heard my entire life for white/black/brown/yellow/pink/etc folks.  I'm sure there's a slave connotation to 'cotton picking' but there were a lot of white cotton pickers.  

5 minutes ago, TheIronSheik said:

Thanks.

Honestly, I had no idea this little story would result in this reaction.  There was literally zero racism intended.  The whole point was she was just having a normal conversation but because it was walked into at the wrong time, it sounded WAY worse than what it was.  The part that made it funny to us was that she sounded like a horrible person when she's an unbelievably sweet person who would never say anything to offend anyone.

I forgot in this day and age, we can't just see humor in things and have to be offended by everything.  

I tried to tell a funny story and it turned into this.  :shrug:

I find the humor in the story, but there is humor exactly because "picking cotton is a race thing" but the comment wasn't intending, or even addressing race.

To Poke, just because white people have picked cotton doesn't erase the historical context of cotton plantations, or how a black person might feel when hearing someone yell a direction to pick cotton, whether directed at them or otherwise.

 

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1 minute ago, Bull Dozier said:

I find the humor in the story, but there is humor exactly because "picking cotton is a race thing" but the comment wasn't intending, or even addressing race.

 

And that's why I said in the OP that it was "unintentional racism."  

 

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Look, white people were lynched in the past too. It wasn’t just used on black people, but that activity and that word do hold strong racial connotations. It doesn’t lose that just because a lot of white people were also lynched.

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38 minutes ago, TheIronSheik said:

Thanks.

Honestly, I had no idea this little story would result in this reaction.  There was literally zero racism intended.  The whole point was she was just having a normal conversation but because it was walked into at the wrong time, it sounded WAY worse than what it was.  The part that made it funny to us was that she sounded like a horrible person when she's an unbelievably sweet person who would never say anything to offend anyone.

I forgot in this day and age, we can't just see humor in things and have to be offended by everything.  

I tried to tell a funny story and it turned into this.  :shrug:

I got the intention and I really thought it was funny.  Timing is everything....  

Edited by notoriousbill

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If someone handed me a cracker and I ate it only to find it was something I didn't like.  Then spit it out and was like, "That cracker is nasty!" as a white person walked by, I'd think that was funny, too.  And I'm sure everyone involved would also feel awkward.  It doesn't mean I'm racist.  The fact that I hate white people is what makes me racist.  

Edited by TheIronSheik
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13 minutes ago, TheIronSheik said:

And that's why I said in the OP that it was "unintentional racism."  

 

I'm on the same page with you, I just disagree with some of Poke's comments.

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FWIW, I get what you were trying to share...awkward and funny moment due to timing circumstance.  I appreciate it.  My comment above was intended to add another layer of humor/sarcasm.  I wasn't trying to be sensitive about anything.  I wasn't trying to claim your friend is a really a racist.  I was just trying to be a smart ###.

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Did she also want him to wave a little confederate flag?

 

:excited:

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1 minute ago, Drunken knight said:

Did she also want him to wave a little confederate flag?

 

:excited:

They're Korean, so they probably weren't big supporters of the Confederates, either.  Although, I will admit I'm not really sure how the South felt about the Koreans at that point in US History.

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I think sometimes pretty awkward moments are just awkward, and that's why you're getting the response you're getting. Just cause a thing results in discomfort doesn't make it funny. It might make it schadenfreude, but that's for another day. 

Edited by rockaction

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1 hour ago, Bull Dozier said:

I picture this girl as the "sunset heart hands" girl from the Taco Bell commercial.  Must be smoking to put up with that kind of crazy.

Beat me to it.  :lol: 

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19 minutes ago, rockaction said:

I think sometimes pretty awkward moments are just awkward, and that's why you're getting the response you're getting. Just cause a thing results in discomfort doesn't make it funny. It might make it schadenfreude, but that's for another day. 

Fair enough.  And I'm totally OK with that.  It was only when people started taking offense or saying it was actually racist that I felt the need to defend her.

Thanks to my wife, I'm completely used to being around people who don't laugh at my stories/jokes.  

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I’m offended that you’re trying to bogart someone else’s story. 

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8 minutes ago, bigbottom said:

I’m offended that you’re trying to bogart someone else’s story. 

It's used with permission.

That's not true.  I'm sure she'd die if she knew I was telling other people about it.  She was already mortified that one person thought it was bad. 

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51 minutes ago, Socrates11 said:

"Rectum!? Damn near killed him!"

only an ####### would be offended by that 

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41 minutes ago, IvanKaramazov said:

I just want to chime in to say that weddings with no alcohol are the worst.  Sorry, GB.

Yaeh, what's up with that?  I don't understand that at all.  

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41 minutes ago, IvanKaramazov said:

I just want to chime in to say that weddings with no alcohol are the worst.  Sorry, GB.

I would sneak in a flask but who knows what the punishment would be if Sheik got caught.

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52 minutes ago, IvanKaramazov said:

I just want to chime in to say that weddings with no alcohol are the worst.  Sorry, GB.

The one good thing was it was at a casino/hotel.  So out of respect, we didn't drink before or during.  But once the main part was over, we excused ourselves down to the casino bar and got lit.  I felt like a kid in high school when we realized we had checked our coats near the ballroom and had to go back and get them with all of the other people pretending we were sober.  

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That story reminds me of this time a good buddy tried to share an awkward timing story on a random internet board....it resulted in a lot of awkward comments, which led to more awkward comments and excuses. 
 

BTW, I liked the story Sheik! 

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