Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
Sign in to follow this  
otb_lifer

Your Chaperone For The Evening ...

Recommended Posts

... will be me.

my 14 yr old daughter cobbled together a Valentine's night shindig, which has now swollen to roughly 20 guests. 

i know most of them, especially the girls, via past parties and track and drama club and dance and school functions, etc ...

but a few HS freshmen are gonna be in attendance (my daughter and most of the others in 8th grade) ... so these frosh  have endured half a year of being peons at the HS, but they'll be kings and queens around a buncha grammar school "kids" ... ya know? maybe they try and be all "worldly" and "sophisticated" and ####. 

i trust my daughter and her friends, they're pretty level headed and trouble free ... good crowd ... but i'm not so sure about the ringers popping in.  also not sure about my daughter's "boyfriend", or lack thereof, or if a suitor is gonna be attending.  i don't pry into that area of her life, Mom handles all that, and i'm on a strict "need to know" basis. 

i've assured her that i'll be down in my basement office through pretty much all of the goings on (7p-10p timeframe), but i have three floors above me that are gonna be outta my sight for roughly three hours (LOOK AT ME I LIVE IN A 1920s BUILT BRICK ROW TRIPLEX!!!1!1!)

i laid out some ground rules ...

NO autotune music. 

NO treks into the laundry room.

NO pairing off into any of the three bedrooms. 

NO going into the yard. 

if ANY are breached, i pull the plug toot sweet. 

 

 

btw, i will be drinking as the night goes on ... hmmmmm.  

part of me wants to make a grand statement right from jump, letting these young'ns know pops means business ... but the better part of me says "ehhhhh".

thoughts?

teenage rager on VD night?

yeah, really glad my gf is pulling three dance instructor shifts tonight.

 i'm cool.  

:banned:

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I thought you were supposed to have your shotgun partially disassembled  for cleaning  in plain sight for all to see as they enter.

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

addendum to above ... i finally capitulated to letting the HS kids come last night, after much pleading from my daughter .... kinda has me worried as to WHY?

feel like she got one over on me :unsure:

Edited by otb_lifer

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, otb_lifer said:

 

teenage rager on VD night?

 

You better hope not. 

  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, otb_lifer said:

addendum to above ... i finally capitulated to letting the HS kids come last night, after much pleading from my daughter .... kinda has me worried as to WHY?

feel like she got one over on me :unsure:

she has a crush on a 9th grade boy...duh.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, JaxBill said:

I thought you were supposed to have your shotgun partially disassembled  for cleaning  in plain sight for all to see as they enter.

her friend Gabby already calls me "DeNiro" ... was seriously thinking of the well placed "OOOOPS!" schtick firearm angle (no shotguns up here, unfortunately ... though i do have 5 hrs to scrounge one up).

 

  • Thinking 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, JaxBill said:

she has a crush on a 9th grade boy...duh.

Mom assures me that my kid's crush is a chap in her 8th grade class ... but dunno if he's coming. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, JaxBill said:

I thought you were supposed to have your shotgun partially disassembled  for cleaning  in plain sight for all to see as they enter.

He should be worry about the kids packing IMO

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Godsbrother said:

He should be worry about the kids packing IMO

this ^

though i'm quite sure the son of a "waste management" fella who i know pretty well will be there tonight to keep the punks in check. 

metal detector? 

gotta borrow the one from her school, methinks. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, otb_lifer said:

Mom assures me that my kid's crush is a chap in her 8th grade class ... but dunno if he's coming. 

Your daughter doesn't want her Mom to know about the 9th grader for fear she would nix contact with a High School boy. So she does the Dad end around.

 

  • Like 2
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, dood. She's fourteen. You got played by me just typing that sentence.

Your girlfriend is throwing off the scent of the ninth grade boyfriend/crush. Don't trust her.

Getting highball drunk is in order. Then let the chips fall where they may.

Who knows? You might even get a chance for a Wepner out of the deal. (Stong notebooking, this one, eh?)

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, JaxBill said:

Your daughter doesn't want her Mom to know about the 9th grader for fear she would nix contact with a High School boy. So she does the Dad end around.

So beat me to it by like ten seconds. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, otb_lifer said:

... (no shotguns up here, unfortunately ... though i do have 5 hrs to scrounge one up).

 

Call me. 📞

I know people.

 

  • Thinking 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, rockaction said:

Oh, dood. She's fourteen. You got played by me just typing that sentence.

Your girlfriend is throwing off the scent of the ninth grade boyfriend/crush. Don't trust her.

Getting highball drunk is in order. Then let the chips fall where they may.

Who knows? You might even get a chance for a Wepner out of the deal. (Stong notebooking, this one, eh?)

 

:boxing:

3 minutes ago, JaxBill said:

Your daughter doesn't want her Mom to know about the 9th grader for fear she would nix contact with a High School boy. So she does the Dad end around.

 

 

2 minutes ago, rockaction said:

So beat me to it by like ten seconds. 

i'd be shocked ... Mom has a very tight grip on this #### - 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Man of Constant Sorrow said:

Call me. 📞

I know people.

 

you don't want that kinda heat, MoCS ... trust me, son. 

  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, otb_lifer said:

:boxing:

Wepner was for bleedin' nose from the train going off the tracks, btw. I hope that's what you thought. You know those NYC ninth graders. Otherwise...:unsure: oops.

You have your work cut out for you tonight, that's for sure

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Man, in all seriousness, this could be a night of great dad-shtick:

  • walk in after about 15 minutes with a tray of Sunny-Delights. "Hey kids, who wants a Sunny-D"?
  • bring in some board games. "Hey kids, how about some Yahtzee?"
  • when the music starts walk up in there and start dancing. 

....stuff like that. And by all means, after they are all there for about a half hour, cut off the wifi in the house. Record reactions on your smart phone and post videos. TIA.

  • Like 1
  • Love 1
  • Laughing 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, rockaction said:

Wepner was for bleedin' nose from the train going off the tracks, btw. I hope that's what you thought. You know those NYC ninth graders. Otherwise...:unsure: oops.

You have your work cut out for you tonight, that's for sure

tbh, i think any AUTOTUNE music would bug the #### outta me more than anything - though it's not my kid's bag, ya never know. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, ChiefD said:

Man, in all seriousness, this could be a night of great dad-shtick:

  • walk in after about 15 minutes with a tray of Sunny-Delights. "Hey kids, who wants a Sunny-D"?
  • bring in some board games. "Hey kids, how about some Yahtzee?"
  • when the music starts walk up in there and start dancing. 

....stuff like that. And by all means, after they are all there for about a half hour, cut off the wifi in the house. Record reactions on your smart phone and post videos. TIA.

yes!  THIS is the advice i was seeking :lmao: niiiiiiice!

3 minutes ago, -fish- said:

relax, boomer.

dad's gettin' angry :hot:

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, otb_lifer said:

yes!  THIS is the advice i was seeking :lmao: niiiiiiice!

I'll add to ChefD's menu... 

Be sure to sprinkle in some a dat 20s lingo we love so much. 

The kids'll be on the trolley in no time flat. 

Edited by Man of Constant Sorrow
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Man of Constant Sorrow said:

I'll add to ChefD's menu... 

Be sure to sprinkle in some a dat 20s lingo we love so much. 

The kids'll be on the trolley in no time flat. 

yo, MoCS ... i don't wanna sound too Blue Nose, but this ain't gonna be no Rub!  if one of 'em even thinks about asking for a Jorum of Skee or a Gasper, well ... it'll be Blouse time for the whole lot!

  • Laughing 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

just spoke to my gf ... great news -

1) good chance she'll be home by 8:30, if not earlier (last class cancelled!)

2) the two HS boys coming are on the JV Hockey team (i know the coach, he bartends at a local dive).  time for some recon.

3) i asked her to hang my brass knuckles over a couple doorways, like a horseshoe motif ... pending

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
29 minutes ago, otb_lifer said:

 

2) the two HS boys coming are on the JV Hockey team

Oh boy. This is bad.

You need to crosscheck those fellas as soon as they walk through the door. They need to know there will be no hip checking or high sticking in your house, if you know what I mean.

  • Laughing 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, ChiefD said:

Oh boy. This is bad.

You need to crosscheck those fellas as soon as they walk through the door. They need to know there will be no hip checking or high sticking in your house, if you know what I mean.

:lmao:

hopefully they're more akin to the Hanson Brothers (milk drinkers) than Reg Dunlap ...

  • Laughing 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, otb_lifer said:

:lmao:

hopefully they're more akin to the Hanson Brothers (milk drinkers) than Reg Dunlap ...

Just make sure you play the National Anthem and do not disturb them during the song. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, otb_lifer said:

 

i trust my daughter and her friends, they're pretty level headed and trouble free ... good crowd ... but i'm not so sure about the ringers popping in.  also not sure about my daughter's "boyfriend", or lack thereof, or if a suitor is gonna be attending.  i don't pry into that area of her life, Mom handles all that, and i'm on a strict "need to know" basis. 

i've assured her that i'll be down in my basement office through pretty much all of the goings on (7p-10p timeframe), but i have three floors above me that are gonna be outta my sight for roughly three hours (LOOK AT ME I LIVE IN A 1920s BUILT BRICK ROW TRIPLEX!!!1!1!)

Still time to set up a wireless camera system for all 3 levels. Will save your old man legs a lot of steps and not distract you from your necessary drinking.

Edited by Leroy Hoard
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Leroy Hoard said:

Still time to set up a wireless camera system for all 3 levels. Will save your old man legs a lot of steps and not distract you from your necessary drinking.

i'm not ready for the glue factory, yet ...

 

 

(but the days of :24 1/4s are looong gone)

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Man of Constant Sorrow said:

I'll add to ChefD's menu... 

Be sure to sprinkle in some a dat 20s lingo we love so much. 

The kids'll be on the trolley in no time flat. 

Speaking of sprinkles, make sure to have a couple dozen cupcakes ready for them.  

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, otb_lifer said:

i laid out some ground rules ...

NO autotune music. 

 

 

 

GAWDDAM RIGHT

Edited by dickey moe
  • Laughing 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, ChiefD said:

after they are all there for about a half hour, cut off the wifi in the house. Record reactions on your smart phone and post videos. TIA.

:lmao: 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
45 minutes ago, nirad3 said:

Speaking of sprinkles, make sure to have a couple dozen cupcakes ready for them.  

haha, my gf got it covered, she pppped home earlier to finish up 36 of 'em :lmao:

me?  currently Ubering (<--- is that a word? modern parlance? Rock?) to the JV Hockey coach's dive bar ... hope he's behind dem stix :banned:

49 minutes ago, Man of Constant Sorrow said:

Party update 

DITTO

  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

no coach at the bar ... but - there is a banquet hall attached, and some townies are stragglin' in for an early VD sit ... guy squiring his wymmin friend to the back looks just like ####in' Freddy Corleone - i was THISCLOSE to planting one on him: " i know it was you ... you broke my heart, Fredo - YOU BROKE MY HEART!!"

  • Laughing 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, ChiefD said:

Oh boy. This is bad.

You need to crosscheck those fellas as soon as they walk through the door. They need to know there will be no hip checking or high sticking in your house, if you know what I mean.

Not even in the neutral zone.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

walk around all night with your zipper open.  use the word ‘super’ before every adjective.  i’m super excited to meet you.  i’m feeling super high.  nose pick often, eating optional.  ball scratch.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Chemical X said:

walk around all night with your zipper open.  use the word ‘super’ before every adjective.  i’m super excited to meet you.  i’m feeling super high.  nose pick often, eating optional.  ball scratch.

sooo ... ya wanted me to carry off business as usual? meh, what kinda schtick is that? :lol:

 

 

anyways ... night was uneventful as #### - i was kinda disappointed?  'da fook is wrong with kidz today???!?  no sneaking in booze, no pairing off,  no "sweet leaf" aroma, no AUTOTUNE music, no property damage .... WHERE DID I GO WRONG??

:kicksrock:

  • Laughing 1
  • Sad 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, otb_lifer said:

Yeah, really glad my gf is pulling three dance instructor shifts tonight.

 i'm cool.  

:banned:

 

 

 

 

I would have been MUCH more concerned about this part GB.  🤔

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, Man of Constant Sorrow said:

Party update 

Things my night and this party had in common: playing Bingo.

Granted, mine was at a brewery with the missus.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, hagmania said:

Things my night and this party had in common: playing Bingo.

Granted, mine was at a brewery with the missus.

Did ya get a "walker dance" too? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, otb_lifer said:

WHERE DID I GO WRONG??

Before I can answer this, what's the character limit per post here? 🤔

  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, rockaction said:

i heard alotta Nirvana and Gaga and Manson and N.I.N. and Eyelash and Bruno Mars ...  even some Bowie.

does Eyelash autotune?  damnit.

21 hours ago, PIK95 said:

I would have been MUCH more concerned about this part GB.  🤔

she bags verrrry nice coin for the efforts ... if she wants to screw around, so be it ... i don't own her (but, i get yer point :D)

21 hours ago, hagmania said:

Things my night and this party had in common: playing Bingo.

Granted, mine was at a brewery with the missus.

do they call "O 69, two will dine!" like the perverted old bats at Parish Bingo halls?

21 hours ago, Man of Constant Sorrow said:

Before I can answer this, what's the character limit per post here? 🤔

'nufced

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.