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A story I'd rather not tell... (1 Viewer)

Daywalker said:
Is it that crazy for HR to ask if you are unhappy at your job?  What am I missing?
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The problem is that it takes a pretty minor personnel issue -- an employee using the "wrong" phone for work calls -- and escalates it up to a 10.  "We provide you with a phone, and we really want you to use it for work-related calls" is something that's easily correctable and nobody is really going to sweat as long as the employee is performing well.  "Do you even really want to be here?" is an overt sign that the employee's time with the company is drawing to a close.

 
Daywalker said:
Not fishing.  What did she do that was wrong?
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Not fishing either, is it typical for a HR conversation to include your boss?  That seems very adversarial to me unless you're remitting some specific issue.  Which I guess the phone could be or be the justification.  

So strange when they could probably fire Sheik without cause in the first place, which I don't hope for, but i also hate to see him go through a hard time.  

 
The thing most troubling for me has been that I do my job well and have made numerous improvements that have saved the company a lot of money, as well as raised the morale of the people working in the plants using our applications.  The IT department was a joke before I got here. They were hated and laughed at openly by every department.  When people would ask for help before I got here, my boss would talk down to the people in need.  His thought is that they need to figure it out on their own or they'll always be reliant on us as a crutch.  That's a direct quote.  Like, seriously.  So they hated him.  And when things would go wrong, they would be afraid to ask him and get yelled at and/or not get any help.  So why call?

In my year here, I've convinced these people we are there for them.  Oddly enough, it's been my people skills that has restored our image.  There is literally nothing I have done that would be reason to be upset with my job performance.  He has written me up twice in one year.  This latest time for not using my work cell phone.  And the first time was because I ask too many questions.  I mean the whole thing is ridiculous.  The fact that those are my two write ups pretty much show that I gave him no reason to be upset with me.  Those are the two best things he could find as marks against me and my job performance.  

When I first started, and I was feeling like there was one way animosity between us, my wife said she thought he was jealous of me.  I thought that was ridiculous.  Thing is, I'm 8 years older than him and I used to do his same job at a different company.  I found that manager jobs like that were getting in the way of my family life, so I stopped trying to move up the career ladder.  I make decent money and so does my wife, so why try to work more?  She said he saw my resume and saw me as a threat to try and take his job.  I still didn't buy it.  But I work with another guy (who I've talked about in other threads) who is at the same level on the org chart as him.  He's a good guy.  He hates my boss.  On a business trip with him, he confided with me that my boss was in fact worried that I was a threat to his job.   So that's where a lot of this comes from.

 
Speaking of that other guy.  My boss thinks he and that guy get along really well.  But that guy despises him.  He's gone into great detail telling me how much he can't stand him and has no faith in his leadership.  Dude is a former Army officer and was very blunt in his dislike for my boss.  

During that meeting with HR and my boss, my boss casually threw out a shot at me saying, "(Army guy) wants to hire another guy for his group because he's not getting help from you.  And this is a problem."  I take secrets very serious and kind of feel bad for what I did, but I felt like I was fighting for my job, but I said, "That's not true.  You want to know the real reason he wants to hire someone?  Because he can't get help from you.  He's told me dozens of times that he can't stand you.  He hates you.  Thinks you're a terrible leader."  His face was shocked, but he had no clue I still had ammunition in the chamber.  I said, "You know how you always say you don't want to be a crutch to them?  Well he knows that.  And he was pissed when he found out about that.  He told me he was going to try and pull me from your team to his.  He hates that you have control over me and won't let me help Operations."  

And the best part about it is, the HR lady looked at him and he looked at her, and he said, "It's true, I did say that.  And maybe I should have been more careful with my words..."  And I thought, holy ####, he admitted to it.  Most people would deny something like that.  I had no way of proving he said that even though he did.  But he could've denied that.  And he didn't.  

I'm telling you, I wish there was video of that meeting.  All three of us had to have looked shell shocked multiple times during that meeting.  :lol:  

 
TheIronSheik said:
Speaking of that other guy.  My boss thinks he and that guy get along really well.  But that guy despises him.  He's gone into great detail telling me how much he can't stand him and has no faith in his leadership.  Dude is a former Army officer and was very blunt in his dislike for my boss.  

During that meeting with HR and my boss, my boss casually threw out a shot at me saying, "(Army guy) wants to hire another guy for his group because he's not getting help from you.  And this is a problem."  I take secrets very serious and kind of feel bad for what I did, but I felt like I was fighting for my job, but I said, "That's not true.  You want to know the real reason he wants to hire someone?  Because he can't get help from you.  He's told me dozens of times that he can't stand you.  He hates you.  Thinks you're a terrible leader."  His face was shocked, but he had no clue I still had ammunition in the chamber.  I said, "You know how you always say you don't want to be a crutch to them?  Well he knows that.  And he was pissed when he found out about that.  He told me he was going to try and pull me from your team to his.  He hates that you have control over me and won't let me help Operations."  

And the best part about it is, the HR lady looked at him and he looked at her, and he said, "It's true, I did say that.  And maybe I should have been more careful with my words..."  And I thought, holy ####, he admitted to it.  Most people would deny something like that.  I had no way of proving he said that even though he did.  But he could've denied that.  And he didn't.  

I'm telling you, I wish there was video of that meeting.  All three of us had to have looked shell shocked multiple times during that meeting.  :lol:  
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I understand the situation, but i think the bolded was probably not your place to reveal. You may want to let army guy know what you said.

 
TheIronSheik said:
One other key bit of information that is in other threads littered on this board:  My boss is not well liked by about 85% of the people in this company.  Turns out the HR lady he brought in was his friend.  The HR VP does not like him.
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This makes sense. They clearly had been talking about you for a while. They had their own narrative all built out. Your boss was trying to lay it out slowly. HR lady clearly couldn’t hold it in very long. 
 

She should be fired. A person in HR with that poor of an emotional/rational filter is a lawsuit waiting to happen. 

 
Mr. Ham said:
Funny, I’ve noticed I have a lot of similarities with you. Specifically, I remember the comment you made about not needing others to laugh at a joke to feel like you nailed it. I get that, and much more about things you’ve written over the years. I haven’t been formally diagnosed, but I’ve taken online tests and am right on the border of the spectrum. I fake socialization well, but it’s not natural and can be enormously draining. I’m happiest alone and in my own world. 

I’ve considered getting the diagnosis because “neuro diversity” is a thing now. I am a high performer, but there are things that are not intuitive to me. I can be very effective and see deep connections and strategic nuances others don’t, but may miss something obviously apparent to others. I’ve been highly valuable, an all star, in every organization I’ve been in — but I’m different. I have a different process that’s nonlinear and if someone tries to force me into a mold, it causes deep anxiety.

People like us can be incredibly effective, insightful, and productive — but we need to be given space and time, and in my case need people willing to meet me halfway in an iterative communication style.
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Um... this hits close to home. But I’m very energized being around others and a pretty strong extrovert. 

 
Damn, that's a horrible situation to go through. That whole pivot to "do you like working here" was pre-planned and who knows where they were going with it if you hadn't spoken up. Don't buy their newfound niceties for a second, they are just covering their asses. Document everything! From actual discussions to your emotions. I've never worked in an office and am not sure how I would've handled this but you did a great job. I probably would have gone over their heads to get them disciplined for their behavior. It was unacceptable, imo. Good luck, give it time and keep moving forward.

 
brun said:
I understand the situation, but i think the bolded was probably not your place to reveal. You may want to let army guy know what you said.
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I was only defending myself.  My boss was laying down a false narrative that army guy thought I was doing a bad job.  A job so bad that he was hiring a person on his team to compensate for my poor work.  I was letting them know that that was not the truth.  And that the reason he was hiring someone was not because I was doing a poor job, but because he was doing a poor job.  I revealed that information because it refuted the lies he was trying to cast on me.  

 
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You work at a crappy place. Good news is that even though it's taking you a bit to find a new job, at least you have these people by the short hairs until you do.

Your directness is likely helping your boss too, if he has any self awareness at all. So there's consolation in that as well.

 
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TheIronSheik said:
I was only defending myself.  My boss was laying down a false narrative that army guy thought I was doing a bad job.  A job so bad that he was hiring a person on his team to compensate for my poor work.  I was letting them know that that was not the truth.  And that the reason he was hiring someone was not because I was doing a poor job, but because he was doing a poor job.  I revealed that information because it refuted the lies he was trying to cast on me.  
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I think what brun is saying is that what Army guy told you was probably said in confidence.  When you break a confidence like that, even when justified, you owe it to the other person to let them know it was said so they are prepared if it gets back to them.

 
Mr. Ham said:
I’m 48. For first 15 years or so of my career, I was often a younger employee than my peers and had an uncanny ability to focus and solve problems. I co-founded a services company and was the guy you brought in to troubleshoot a problem when others failed. Truthfully, I sometimes found a resolution in minutes to something that others failed to resolve in days or weeks. I could also be put on a task and with complete autonomy would get it done, including founding divisions of companies, learning complex processes, then training employees and managing the business. I was pretty much special projects guy and any idiosyncrasies were well worth working around because I clearly had a very unique skill set.

I’ve been very successful in my career last few years, but I do worry as younger folks come into the fold, and if I gradually lose a step, organizations will be less willing to put up with me, because they don’t understand an older guy who is different. 

For last few years, I’ve relied on senior execs who know what I’m capable of deploying me as a secret weapon to solve complex problems, and forming technology solutions. Last two corporate gigs, I was the first hire of a very senior executive, and she was just hired in a very senior position of one of the biggest tech companies and will probably do the same. If at some point say 10 years from now I lose one of my benefactors, who have learned over time how to use me, it’ll be much harder for a guy like me to forge a new path on my own. Age and the spectrum are not good bedfellows, largely because the deep relationships I tend to forge are internal and not with clients. So I’m a results guy, not a Rolodex guy, which becomes harder to maintain in your 50s and 60s when others are willing to work longer hours for less. Not a problem yet, but a worry.
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Yup.  Same fear I've had for a long time, GB.  

 
TheIronSheik said:
Speaking of that other guy.  My boss thinks he and that guy get along really well.  But that guy despises him.  He's gone into great detail telling me how much he can't stand him and has no faith in his leadership.  Dude is a former Army officer and was very blunt in his dislike for my boss.  

During that meeting with HR and my boss, my boss casually threw out a shot at me saying, "(Army guy) wants to hire another guy for his group because he's not getting help from you.  And this is a problem."  I take secrets very serious and kind of feel bad for what I did, but I felt like I was fighting for my job, but I said, "That's not true.  You want to know the real reason he wants to hire someone?  Because he can't get help from you.  He's told me dozens of times that he can't stand you.  He hates you.  Thinks you're a terrible leader."  His face was shocked, but he had no clue I still had ammunition in the chamber.  I said, "You know how you always say you don't want to be a crutch to them?  Well he knows that.  And he was pissed when he found out about that.  He told me he was going to try and pull me from your team to his.  He hates that you have control over me and won't let me help Operations."  

And the best part about it is, the HR lady looked at him and he looked at her, and he said, "It's true, I did say that.  And maybe I should have been more careful with my words..."  And I thought, holy ####, he admitted to it.  Most people would deny something like that.  I had no way of proving he said that even though he did.  But he could've denied that.  And he didn't.  

I'm telling you, I wish there was video of that meeting.  All three of us had to have looked shell shocked multiple times during that meeting.  :lol:  
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Yikes! 

 
TheIronSheik said:
My wife is still pissed.  She keeps saying I should maybe talk to a lawyer.  But I don't want to talk about it with other people.  I hate even talking about it here.  I've already deleted this post 5 times.  And I'll probably regret hitting send when I do.  But whatever.  I'm interested to hear what people think.
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You are getting great/positive feedback.  Very supportive.

Consider the advice of your wife to get legal representative,  possibly put a lawyer on retainer just to document what has transpired to protect yourself in case your company attempts anything else.  

I would imagine you are protected by the ADA and your company/boss knows this  and that is why they backed off but it would be wise to get legal representation and document what happened to ensure you are protected going forward.

 
eoMMan said:
I believe an acclaimed FFAer who doesn't post as much now has said he has Asperger's as well.
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We all have it in different degrees.  Those that have it in very small amounts just dont stand out as much.  

Each of us has a quirky behavior or two that fall in the spectrum.  

One of the greatest things I've ever heard in my life was when my son and I first sat down with the director of the College Learning Experience in Austin, that I described earlier. 

He said that kids on the spectrum,  i think it was like 1 in 158, at the time, simply process the world differently than most of us, and that unfortunately,  because they are so out numbered, they have to learn skills to cope in our world. 

There is nothing wrong with anyone on the spectrum.  There are a ton of qualities they have that I wish I had.  

 
I think to some extent Sheik agrees with me, but those suggesting lawyering up...on what grounds would any lawsuit be? 

Sheik can correct me if Im wrong, but I think he's a PA guy? If so, you can be fired for anything as it is an at will state. Naturally you cant be fired for discriminatory reasons, but that doesn't appear to be the case in his story. 

 
Cjw_55106 said:
I think to some extent Sheik agrees with me, but those suggesting lawyering up...on what grounds would any lawsuit be? 

Sheik can correct me if Im wrong, but I think he's a PA guy? If so, you can be fired for anything as it is an at will state. Naturally you cant be fired for discriminatory reasons, but that doesn't appear to be the case in his story. 
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I suggested legal representation in order to document what has transpired so he can  protect himself.  Not to legally attack but to protect himself.

 
Bracie Smathers said:
I suggested legal representation in order to document what has transpired so he can  protect himself.  Not to legally attack but to protect himself.
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Protect himself from what? Like I said, they can fire him without cause if they want to. (assuming he in indeed in PA or somewhere with similar laws)

 
Getzlaf15 said:
We all have it in different degrees.  Those that have it in very small amounts just dont stand out as much.  

Each of us has a quirky behavior or two that fall in the spectrum.  

One of the greatest things I've ever heard in my life was when my son and I first sat down with the director of the College Learning Experience in Austin, that I described earlier. 

He said that kids on the spectrum,  i think it was like 1 in 158, at the time, simply process the world differently than most of us, and that unfortunately,  because they are so out numbered, they have to learn skills to cope in our world. 

There is nothing wrong with anyone on the spectrum.  There are a ton of qualities they have that I wish I had.  
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This is an important point.  While there are a bunch of skills I don't have because of being on the spectrum, there are also a lot of things that work in my favor.  I'm not sure if the good and bad even each other out, but I try not to worry about that.  I just know I've benefited from certain aspects.  It can definitely be frustrating at times and I'd be lying if there weren't times when I was younger where I would dream about "being normal."  The world seemed so much easier for other people.  

But I've led an amazing life.  Was it tough at times?  You bet ya.  But I don't think there's one person on earth who hasn't gone through tough times.  Instead of sulking about it, I learned to be proud of what I'd accomplished.  And I've met others like me in my life and that seems to be the theme we all go by.  I like to think of it like choosing you character at the beginning of a game.  Each choice has pros and cons.  You just learn to play the game using your character.  

 
Cjw_55106 said:
Protect himself from what? Like I said, they can fire him without cause if they want to. (assuming he in indeed in PA or somewhere with similar laws)
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They can, but I'm guessing no so much anymore.  I'm not sure I like this analogy, but my wife keeps saying it's like your company finding out you're gay, then they fire you.  They have the right to, but I'm guessing that wouldn't look good in court.

And I had no interest in talking to an attorney.  It was only after people said to do so to protect myself.  I'm not sure what that means or how that works, but it makes me think I should.  But, yeah, I don't want to go after the company or anything like that.  Unless of course the let me go any time soon.  Then I would look into it. 

 
Godsbrother said:
Not to make light of your situation Sheik cause that really sucks.

Having said that:  now I know what to say if I get pulled into a situation with my boss and HR.    :thumbup:
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I'd go with the tourettes instead, just to lob some ill-timed cursing at them (even though the people I've know with it, I never heard do this).

Also, every time I read the thread title, I think of this song.

Also also, pissed that this happened and upset our all around good buddy and good dude, TiS. He deserves happiness and nice things.

 
Terminalxylem said:
Possibly because your boss is badmouthing you to prospective employers?
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Doubtful. Most employers won't reveal much (for legal reasons), basically just that you work there and how long. Maybe salary? Someone could say more if TIS was using him as a reference, but since he doesn't even like or get along with the boss it seems unlikely he'd use him as any kind of reference.

 
Cjw_55106 said:
Protect himself from what? Like I said, they can fire him without cause if they want to. (assuming he in indeed in PA or somewhere with similar laws)
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He's explained how his boss brought in HR and the aggressive questioning implying they were seeking to replace him.

Right to work states have to comply with the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) and that is why they were frightened once they found out they cannot replace him or they 'could' face legal action. 

TheIronSheik said:
They can, but I'm guessing no so much anymore.  I'm not sure I like this analogy, but my wife keeps saying it's like your company finding out you're gay, then they fire you.  They have the right to, but I'm guessing that wouldn't look good in court.

And I had no interest in talking to an attorney.  It was only after people said to do so to protect myself.  I'm not sure what that means or how that works, but it makes me think I should.  But, yeah, I don't want to go after the company or anything like that.  Unless of course the let me go any time soon.  Then I would look into it. 
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You read the room correctly.  They were frightened but I think it would be a good idea to get legal representation and document things for your own records.  Find out your companies ADA policy and if they've had past legal dealings with that because of the way they reacted.  It sounds like they may have gotten burned.

Good to have something documented with legal aid as insurance.

 
Bracie Smathers said:
You read the room correctly.  They were frightened but I think it would be a good idea to get legal representation and document things for your own records.  Find out your companies ADA policy and if they've had past legal dealings with that because of the way they reacted.  It sounds like they may have gotten burned.

Good to have something documented with legal aid as insurance.
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This. They got scared when they realized they were possibly in violation of Federal law and exposing themselves to litigation. They also were probably ashamed that they were so antagonistic to a "disabled person"- which I put in quotes, because it seems like their interpretation, not reality. Based on Sheik's boss' cringey email about not being ashamed of who he is. As others have said, the spectrum is the spectrum, and everyone is somewhere on it. I am probably in the fat part of the outlier tail towards Asperger's.

The reason I think Sheik should document everything is just my take on human nature, and the nature of the numbnutz with whom he is dealing. Sure, the slate is wiped clean, now. But people often get angry, after they've been scared. I can also see his boss becoming resentful fairly quickly, feeling like he has done a lot to "specially consider your disability," but you continue to act like nothing has happened and don't show gratitude for his enlightened attitude.

I dunno why this struck me to the point I wanted to write so much, Sheik, but I guess I empathize.

 
VandyMan said:
Doubtful. Most employers won't reveal much (for legal reasons), basically just that you work there and how long. Maybe salary? Someone could say more if TIS was using him as a reference, but since he doesn't even like or get along with the boss it seems unlikely he'd use him as any kind of reference.
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If you apply for a new job in some industries, it’s not uncommon for managers to communicate behind the scenes, whether solicited by the employee or not. Might not be true for TIS, but I’m just trying to surmise why someone with good performance at their job, and good writing skills (from what I can tell) wouldn’t get a call back.

 
Terminalxylem said:
If you apply for a new job in some industries, it’s not uncommon for managers to communicate behind the scenes, whether solicited by the employee or not. Might not be true for TIS, but I’m just trying to surmise why someone with good performance at their job, and good writing skills (from what I can tell) wouldn’t get a call back.
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It's always been the case.  Finding jobs has always been tough.  Keeping them was easy.  I'm the kind of guy that companies don't realize they need but once they do, they love me.  

 
DA RAIDERS said:
After watching the pharmacist, I want to record everything. 
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I am lucky in that I haven't had a 'real' job in quite a while because I've been a Mr. Mom. But reading this, makes me wonder if in situations where the HR and Boss show up, you might just want to pull that phone they gave you out, and say "if you don't mind, I'm just gonna record this!"

 
Sounds like a clown show.

HR throwing around terms they have no clue about. Boss going straight to HR over a phone issue (bigger issue seems the boss literally isn't tracking anything OP is doing).

You really don't know how that meeting would have ended w/o you feeling forced to reveal private medical information. 

If you're looking to transfer to the other guy's team, now's the time to request transfer.

 
Boss: I’m going to get right to the point. It has come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?

George: Who said that?

Boss: She did.

George: Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time.

Boss: You’re fired.

George: Well you didn’t have to say it like that.

 
Your employer sucks. Who cares if you’re “friendly” or not. Do you do your job?  Yes. Well that’s all that needs to be done.  F them. I had a boss who said I wasn’t friendly enough to her. Well it was because I could stand her so didn’t see the need to socialize with her. 

 
Da Guru said:
Don't trust anyone and document everything.
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I'm coming to this very late, and you've already received a ton of good advice.  "Document everything" was what I would have emphasized. 

I'm only poking my head in now to say that I'm really sorry that these people were/are such jerkfaces.  You're a good egg and deserve better than this job.

 
Punxsutawney Phil said:
Find a new job now that the tables have turned and he can do no wrong?  I'd be positioning for my own bathroom if I were him.  
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Nope. His employer has shown their true colors and this is not an environment conducive to long term employment.  Forget the sweet taste of temporary leverage.  Time to move on as soon as reasonable.

 
Ron Swanson said:
Nope. His employer has shown their true colors and this is not an environment conducive to long term employment.  Forget the sweet taste of temporary leverage.  Time to move on as soon as reasonable.
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I’ll start this by saying I am looking to leave. 

But I did want to pint out that the company itself does not treat me bad. There are probably about 40 people in my office, and about 5-6 of them are jerks. But people like the President and CEO and CIO are all very nice to me. So the whole company isn’t bad. 

 
TheIronSheik said:
Speaking of that other guy.  My boss thinks he and that guy get along really well.  But that guy despises him.  He's gone into great detail telling me how much he can't stand him and has no faith in his leadership.  Dude is a former Army officer and was very blunt in his dislike for my boss.  

During that meeting with HR and my boss, my boss casually threw out a shot at me saying, "(Army guy) wants to hire another guy for his group because he's not getting help from you.  And this is a problem."  I take secrets very serious and kind of feel bad for what I did, but I felt like I was fighting for my job, but I said, "That's not true.  You want to know the real reason he wants to hire someone?  Because he can't get help from you.  He's told me dozens of times that he can't stand you.  He hates you.  Thinks you're a terrible leader."  His face was shocked, but he had no clue I still had ammunition in the chamber.  I said, "You know how you always say you don't want to be a crutch to them?  Well he knows that.  And he was pissed when he found out about that.  He told me he was going to try and pull me from your team to his.  He hates that you have control over me and won't let me help Operations."  

And the best part about it is, the HR lady looked at him and he looked at her, and he said, "It's true, I did say that.  And maybe I should have been more careful with my words..."  And I thought, holy ####, he admitted to it.  Most people would deny something like that.  I had no way of proving he said that even though he did.  But he could've denied that.  And he didn't.  

I'm telling you, I wish there was video of that meeting.  All three of us had to have looked shell shocked multiple times during that meeting.  :lol:  
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Would this help the situation (bolded and underlined) at your current employer?  Sounds like it would be a good fit?  

 
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notoriousbill said:
Would this help the situation (bolded and underlined) at your current employer?  Sounds like it would be a good fit?  
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It would have.  And he tried.  But my boss fought it.  Not because he wanted to keep me, so much.  But because he was worried it would look bad on him.  My boss is one of those people who is all about a fake appearance.  He likes to act busy and stay logged in for long hours even though there's no reason to.  So going from managing 3 people to managing 2 would not be a good look.  

I do feel like others are seeing him for his true self, though.  When I was hired, he was the head of IT.  As we've started to grow, they hired a CIO above him.  He was visibly disappointed.  Then, in the past 2 months, they hired 2 more IT guys to run dev and help desk.  He thought they'd report to him, but they report to the CIO and are on the same level of the org chart as him.  So he hasn't been demoted or anything, but he's definitely losing ground.

 
I know a lot of people have offered advice.  But I will say this, it took a ton of courage for you to tell your boss and HR lady but even more to tell everyone on here.  You are a great guy and should be a PROUD MAN because you opened up to many and that is tough for anyone to do.  Reading through the posts, I can tell you are proud of your work and sounds like you do amazing work! 

I went through an issue about 3 years ago at my place of work.  New HR lady and a couple of other administrators teamed up with her to come at me and my team.  I will tell you that it was the worst 18 months of my life.  It affected me at work, my marriage, my health and at home with kids. I wish I talked about it with people but did not have the courage to share. I will tell you that I documented everything.  I was told by many to talk with an attorney.  I cannot confirm but was told in PA that I would have 2 years to bring a hostile work environment case against them.  I was looking for a new job as I am also in tech but nothing ever materialized. I am not here to share my story but here to say stay STRONG and have FAITH.  Talk with your wife and even on here as you have been. It sounds as if you do like your job but these few individuals are the problem.  I will share that 3 years later, I am with same job and the HR lady was fired along with one of other instigators and the third left.  My boss even came in this morning and praised me. 

This maybe the best time to discuss a transfer with the other manager.  You do not have to tell him the details just that you feel it is the right time to move.  Express it with the VP of HR based on how you have been feeling and with previous meeting.  Say you would like to discuss it with the new manager and then everyone together.  They maybe looking to do what you want now.

I feel good things coming your way.  It could be that you transfer to a different manager, changes at your job with the current problem people being gone or a new job you'll love!  Be proud and stay strong!  Try and relax this weekend and do something you enjoy!

 
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