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Tales From Your Job - Past or Present (1 Viewer)

ChiefD

ChiefD

Footballguy
I work in the heating and cooling biz. I manage a service department, so my job is to get the techs out to their respective calls, order parts, manage the guys, etc.Whatever it takes.

Had a customer call in one time wanting air conditioner service. It was middle of April. Got her on the schedule, but we had a big rainstorm moving through the area, so I told her it may not happen that day depending on what the weather is doing. 

The time came in the afternoon for her appointment, and there is a massive storm cell sitting on top of Kansas City. Thunder, lightning, heavy downpours....the whole bit. I'm watching the storm on weather underground on my computer.

So I call her:

Me: Doesn't look like we can make it today. That storm looks pretty solid out there.

Her: It's not raining here.

Me:(Looks at the storm on my computer. It is literally sitting on top of her house)

Me: Well, if it's not raining at the moment it is going to in a manner of minutes.

Her: Well, just send him anyway. It's not raining.

Me: Ma'am, I can't send a tech out in a lightning and thunderstorm. It's just not safe. I can get him over there tomorrow morning.

Her: But we are dying in here. It's so hot and stuffy.

It was 59 degrees outside. We went the next day.

 
One time when I was a teenage stock boy at the pet store some drunk guy came in and asked if we had any bigger containers of fish food.  I remembered we had some gallon sized pail that someone accidentally ordered and we had no idea how we were going to get rid of it so I talked him into buying that, Manager was thrilled

also one of the cashiers there showed me her boobs and later in life took our family photos, wife was already aware of the backstory though

 
One time my friends in D.C. took my uber-professional office and decorated it with Abercrombie and Fitch pin-ups knowing I wouldn't be at work and my boss would be. I had, of course, been on assignment and was blowing off my duties back then. He, coming in to check on me, walked in to bulging underwear and torsos all over the walls and just laughed and walked away.

Good times, fellas! Real. good. freaking. times.

 
Oh man that reminds me of when I was an intern I worked in our prototype shop where we made a lot of Epoxy molds, pretty messy job

there were probably 5 or 6 interns i went to school with so we’d goof around a lot.  Anyway one of the guys had a cube in the front office and would sometimes have to do projects on our proto area but would never take the trash out 

we got sick of it so one day we took the bag down that had metal shavings and wood looking out of it, epoxy dripping down the sides, etc and put it on his chair

well he didn’t come in that day so we basically had a bag of trash sitting there for an entire day and it was basically the first cube anyone would see when they walked in :lmao:

 
I’m not sure if I’ve told this story before or not, but it’s funny so here it goes.

I used to be a 3rd shift parking attendant/security guard at a posh condo on the East Side in Milwaukee when I was in college. Most of the residents were old and were in by 10 pm so I used to just smoke weed and order pizza. I occasionally did some homework too. Some of the residents were terrific, some didn’t even know who I was, and some were down right nasty. The nasty ones were always pretty demanding and treated all the attendants like the scum we were. One fellow in particular was a real tool and every time I moved his car, he would just scowl at me. He never tipped me and just pissed me off. I was wrapping up my undergrad degree and was leaving this job for a better lab job so I decided to have some fun with his car. It was winter time and the garage was cold. I decided to leave a fond farewell for my least favorite resident. I went to the store on my last night and bought a nice chunk of Gorgonzola. The garage is underground and has a very strong venting system. I turned on the heat full blast with his car running and proceeded to spread Gorgonzola chunks in the carpet under the front and back mats (most of it went under the front seat mats). It was definitely ripe in his car after that and the stink was definitely in the vents so mission accomplished. I turned the car off and let it sit until my final departure at 8 am. I had a big smile on my face knowing that once he turned the heat on while heading out he would receive my parting gift. Don’t piss off the help. 

 
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Osaurus said:
I’m not sure if I’ve told this story before or not, but it’s funny so here it goes.

I used to be a 3rd shift parking attendant/security guard at a posh condo on the East Side in Milwaukee when I was in college. Most of the residents were old and were in by 10 pm so I used to just smoke weed and order pizza. I occasionally did some homework too. Some of the residents were terrific, some didn’t even know who I was, and some were down right nasty. The nasty ones were always pretty demanding and treated all the attendants like the scum we were. One fellow in particular was a real tool and every time I moved his car, he would just scowl at me. He never tipped me and just pissed me off. I was wrapping up my undergrad degree and was leaving this job for a better lab job so I decided to have some fun with his car. It was winter time and the garage was cold. I decided to leave a fond farewell for my least favorite resident. I went to the store on my last night and bought a nice chunk of Gorgonzola. The garage is underground and has a very strong venting system. I turned on the heat full blast with his car running and proceeded to spread Gorgonzola chunks in the carpet under the front and back mats (most of it went under the front seat mats). It was definitely ripe in his car after that and the stink was definitely in the vents so mission accomplished. I turned the car off and let it sit until my final departure at 8 am. I had a big smile on my face knowing that once he turned the heat on while heading out he would receive my parting gift. Don’t piss off the help. 
Click to expand...
Outstanding. 

 
When I first started in the insurance world as a captive agent, our corporation had some pretty severe quotas to keep your job in the first few years.  A gal who had been there only a bit longer than I was fired for offering (and giving) different colored dots to gentlemen in exchange for them purchasing policies from her.

 
As a teenager much of the staff of the local grocery store I worked at was made up of youngsters like myself.  Working the opening shift (6 am) a few of us often used to go over to the in-store bakery to flirt with the girls and bum a donut.  One time my buddy Tim and I went over and the girls were not there, and the old surly bakers were bent over the counter tops working as we went into the back. Tim spied a large canister of glaze, gave me a "Watch THIS" look, and dipped his bare finger into the glaze.  He slurped the glaze off his finger, I was snorting and the bakers heard us and turned around and cussed us out of there.  Tim had a horrified look on his face.  As we left the bakery I asked him what was wrong.

"That wasn't glaze.  That was Crisco."

 
I worked in the Men's section at a department store and my female coworker noticed a large man buying a jock strap sized Small.

She said to him with a straight face "those are based on waist size".

He immediately went back and switched it for a large.

I gotta give her credit, she kept a serious face through the entire transaction.

 
I worked for my dad during the summers of high school and college at the public works department.

There were a couple of unsmart fellas.  I'll need to go back and recall some of those stories.

Many are not politically correct especially in today's standards but he did accidentally steal someone's truck on lunch break :lmao:

 
I was making a delivery to an apartment building and next to the curb there was a smoldering mattress. The guy I was delivering to was sitting on the stoop, he looks up from his phone and asks me if I'll call the fire department. He said he would have but he was in the middle of a game.

 
Oh man... I'm just posting to remind myself to tell some tales later. I've definitely had some fun at previous places of employment.

 
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