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tuffnutt

Help with Bipolar Daughter?

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I have been debating since the weekend to post about this, but decided to do it. Mental health has such a stigma and I am guilty of not being as informed as I should have. Anyway if anyone has some experience with this please respond or DM me as I am at a real crossroads.

Bare with me as this may ramble...

My oldest was Diagnosed with Bipolar 1 almost 2 years ago when she was 18. She has battled depression through her teens and had began cutting herself at 13. She has always lived with her mom and step father (who are good people and we are working together to help our daughter. When she graduated HS she went off to college but didnt make through 1st semester. she went into a deep depression and dropped out. she expressed to a school councilor that she was having suicidal thoughts and they called us. We got her back to her moms and tried to get her into a facility but she refused to go and then late one night she left her moms house and showed up on my doorstep ( her mom and I live a couple hours apart.) The next day I and my wife took her to a local therapist who did an evaluation and deem she didnt need to go into hospital  but could use intense daily counselling which we did for about a month then went to 2 days a week and then 1 day a week which it has been ever since. In the meantime she was given Vraylar for her disorder. And for the last year and a half it was been working well. She still had momnets of depression and moments of mania but the seemed to be less severe. She was able to get and keep a job for last year and recently she has expressed interest in moving into an apartment with a girl she works with

. I have noticed she has been a little manic the last month with all the classic symptoms, not eating much, very little sleep, tons of energy etc. But things took a very bad turn last friday.

Out of the blue she announces to my wife and I that she is psychic and can see the future and how we are all going to die. She tells us that a war is coming and she is going to be a warrior and change the world. And then she went to work... or so we thought. She actually drove to meet a guy she met online who from my understanding has been feeding into her mania and delusions. anyway she kept in contact with me and I tried all weekend to get her to come home. and I wasn't until Monday that did(with the help of her friend that she wanted to move in with)

When we got her home I disabled her car which is in my name.( I carry the insurance and will NOT be giving it back to her any time soon). so she couldn't leave again and we talked her into admitting herself to the hospital yesterday morning. she did they evaluated her and then put her in their pysch unit. Because of COVID she cant have visitors so I am left to communicate by phone with her. I spoke with her last night and she was very agitated and this morning she hung up on me after she said she was going to check herself out. I called the social worker who said the Dr would have to make that determination and if he deems her not a threat then he will. I want her stay and get the help she needs and on the right drugs to get her out of this manic psychosis.

I guess what I am asking is what can we of parents of an adult with mental illness do to help her? My wife and! have an 11 year old in our house as well and my wife does not want our oldest to return without being properly medicated and on what we hope will be a road to recovery. I (unfortunately) have to agree with her. Her mother has a 16 year old and a 12 year old in her house and feel the same. I dont want to give up on my daughter but dont know what to do.

please advice

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Oh god, I'm so sorry Tuffnutt.  That sounds excruciating and I wish I had advice or words of encouragement but sadly, I'm at a loss for both.  I know there are other valuable posters on this website with experience and insight and hopefully they can reach out to you.  Sorry your family is dealing with this.  :(

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Posted (edited)

So sorry amigo. I’m sure some FBG’s have experience or expertise to help. I don’t but will be hoping you, your daughter and entire family get the best possible outcome. 

Edited by Judge Smails
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7 minutes ago, General Malaise said:

Oh god, I'm so sorry Tuffnutt.  That sounds excruciating and I wish I had advice or words of encouragement but sadly, I'm at a loss for both.  I know there are other valuable posters on this website with experience and insight and hopefully they can reach out to you.  Sorry your family is dealing with this.  :(

thank you

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4 minutes ago, Judge Smails said:

So sorry amigo. I’m sure some FBG’s have experience or expertise to help. I don’t but will be hoping you, your daughter and entire family get the best possible outcome. 

thank you

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Posted (edited)

Sorry to hear this, is there someone else who isn’t a parent who can talk with her? Someone she trusts like a friend, cousin, grandmother, teacher/coach/pastor? Sometimes there’s so much animosity and baggage between parents and teens that it takes someone else to do some of the deep talks, hard work of getting the person to really admit what’s going on.

Edited by Ilov80s
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Just now, Ilov80s said:

Sorry to hear this, is there someone else who isn’t a parent who can talk with her? Someone she trusts like a friend, cousin, grandmother, teacher/coach/pastor? Sometimes there’s so much animosity and baggage between parents and teens that it takes someone else to do some of the tough work. 

she has a great relationship with her therapist and she did talk to her in the parking lot before she was admitted. Her best friend is her 16 year old brother but I cant ask him to deal with seeing his sister like this. I know she has friends but I dont have numbers to get ahold of them.

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1 minute ago, tuffnutt said:

she has a great relationship with her therapist and she did talk to her in the parking lot before she was admitted. Her best friend is her 16 year old brother but I cant ask him to deal with seeing his sister like this. I know she has friends but I dont have numbers to get ahold of them.

Is it possible for her therapist to arrange to see her sometime soon? If they have a good relationship, your daughter may be willing to.

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Man I am so sorry to hear this.  I have bipolar-2 which is the less severe version, so honestly I don't know if my personal experiences would help out or not.

I would have her see her therapist as much as possible, maybe try a different type of medication?  I don't know.  

Try to keep a positive outlook and express your love and concern as much as possible.

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7 minutes ago, Ilov80s said:

Is it possible for her therapist to arrange to see her sometime soon? If they have a good relationship, your daughter may be willing to.

Im going to call her therapist and see what she can do

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5 minutes ago, nirad3 said:

Man I am so sorry to hear this.  I have bipolar-2 which is the less severe version, so honestly I don't know if my personal experiences would help out or not.

I would have her see her therapist as much as possible, maybe try a different type of medication?  I don't know.  

Try to keep a positive outlook and express your love and concern as much as possible.

thank you

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You are a good man tuffnutt.  Godspeed. 

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I would highly suggest trying to find local support groups for family members of folks with mental illness. BPD is extremely difficult to deal with as it is extremely dependent on the individual finding and using the correct medication and it’s often very tough to convince them that they need to be taking it, especially when they are manic. 

With the way our health and legal systems are setup, it can be extremely difficult or impossible to get someone the help they need. It basically comes down to somehow convincing them that they need the help or them being forced to get help against their will if they are found to be an immediate threat to their life or someone else’s. That’s a pretty high bar to clear.

Good luck man. The odds are that you’re in for a lot of rough times, tough decisions, and heartache ahead. Finding a support group with others that have been and are going through the same thing can make a huge difference.

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5 minutes ago, Jaysus said:

You are a good man tuffnutt.  Godspeed. 

thank you

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5 minutes ago, GroveDiesel said:

I would highly suggest trying to find local support groups for family members of folks with mental illness. BPD is extremely difficult to deal with as it is extremely dependent on the individual finding and using the correct medication and it’s often very tough to convince them that they need to be taking it, especially when they are manic. 

With the way our health and legal systems are setup, it can be extremely difficult or impossible to get someone the help they need. It basically comes down to somehow convincing them that they need the help or them being forced to get help against their will if they are found to be an immediate threat to their life or someone else’s. That’s a pretty high bar to clear.

Good luck man. The odds are that you’re in for a lot of rough times, tough decisions, and heartache ahead. Finding a support group with others that have been and are going through the same thing can make a huge difference.

thank you thats a good idea. I am actually going to my Dr today. I havent eaten pr slept much since friday

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Just now, Joe Summer said:

Do you know what triggered the latest episode? Did she stop taking her meds?

Good question. I do not. she has always been sporadic with meds. But I and my wife try to remind her everday to take and I think shes been pretty good the last month. However I have been cleaning out her car today and found marijuana and Im afraid she may have been doing other things but IDK. we just went to wyoming for a week and she was in great spirits although a little manic. something happened between last saturday and this friday that triggered her "break"  

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There are all sorts of things that can affect the effectiveness of mood altering medications. Amounts of sleep, amounts of sunlight, diet, exercise, other medications and obviously other drugs can all affect how the body handles those medications. 

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2 minutes ago, GroveDiesel said:

There are all sorts of things that can affect the effectiveness of mood altering medications. Amounts of sleep, amounts of sunlight, diet, exercise, other medications and obviously other drugs can all affect how the body handles those medications. 

Agree.  Diet/exercise and drug use really could set something off.  Also, it could have been something "underlying" that the most minor thing set off.

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Marijuana can/will cause interactions with psychiatric medications. I've seen it happen several times. 

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3 minutes ago, Dezbelief said:

Marijuana can/will cause interactions with psychiatric medications. I've seen it happen several times. 

I am leaning that way too. My thought is that she was trying to self medicate the mania to bring herself down some.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, tuffnutt said:

please advice

hi. been there, but with a parent.

it has been a lifetime fight. waffling between medication, facility stays, periods of mania, etc.  the only times when things have been OK for everyone else.. were when meds were involved. but, of course, that's when things were worst for him.

 

i'm afraid the best bet, in my opinion, is therapy and medication. together she has a chance. 

best of luck and i hope she can find some stability and happiness

Edited by mr. furley

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2 minutes ago, mr. furley said:

hi. been there, but with a parent.

it has been a lifetime fight. waffling between medication, facility stays, periods of mania, etc.  the only times when things have been OK for everyone else.. were when meds were involved. but, of course, that's when things were worst for him.

 

i'm afraid the best bet, in my opinion, is therapy and medication. together she has a chance. 

best of luck and i hope she can find some stability and happiness

thank you for the kind words

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1 minute ago, tuffnutt said:

I am leaning that way too. My thought is that she was trying to self medicate the mania to bring herself down some.

Maybe, or she could have stopped taking her meds. My SIL has BPD and one of my best friends is bipolar, and if they stop taking their meds they go off the rails, and it usually starts with mania. Sometimes they can get immune to their meds and need them tweaked, but many times they stop taking them because they make them tired, make them gain weight, they don't think they need them anymore, they forgot to get them filled, and the list goes on. It takes about two weeks for them to get "right" again when they get back on the meds. 

Hopefully you can get in touch with your daughter's therapist, and she will have some good advice on the path to take right now, and maybe she can be part of that path. Maybe your daughter won't be discharged today. It will be an ongoing roller coaster ride, but she can get balanced out, and there will be expected relapses and episodes now and then. The goal is to get her right back on track when that happens.

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8 minutes ago, Cowboysfan8 said:

Don’t have any advice but sorry you’re going through this and best of luck

thank you

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Been dealing with similar issues with my 15-year-old daughter, so I can relate to a lot of it.  Unfortunately, I don't know much about how to deal with the adult issue.

One thing that might be worth doing is consulting with a family lawyer to see if there is any power that you can have.  Also, my wife found a local support group that she has been attending for a few months for parents of children with mental illness.  They have had a lot of knowledge about this area in general, which is extremely complex to navigate.

I'm not sure what interventions you've tried before when she was younger, so depending on that, I might have other thoughts.  Feel free to pm me with anything.  Know that you are not alone and hang in there.

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1 minute ago, Long Ball Larry said:

Been dealing with similar issues with my 15-year-old daughter, so I can relate to a lot of it.  Unfortunately, I don't know much about how to deal with the adult issue.

One thing that might be worth doing is consulting with a family lawyer to see if there is any power that you can have.  Also, my wife found a local support group that she has been attending for a few months for parents of children with mental illness.  They have had a lot of knowledge about this area in general, which is extremely complex to navigate.

I'm not sure what interventions you've tried before when she was younger, so depending on that, I might have other thoughts.  Feel free to pm me with anything.  Know that you are not alone and hang in there.

I will PM you later

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Make a list of all the crazy/dumb/impulsive/inappropriate/offensive stuff she does, and present it to her when she is doing well.  It's a nice wakeup call to stay on her meds, cause more often than we would like people stop prioritizing their meds because they feel better.  Also, some people really like the euphoria of being manic.  

In the meantime do anything and everything you can to make sure she stays in the hospital until she is stabilized enough to hold a rational conversation.  Promise her a "treat" or some ####, whatever it takes.   They dont really like to probate too many people, so try whatever it takes to get her to sign a voluntary admission form.  

Drugs are absolutely horrible for her illness, but do not yell at her about it.  Just approach it as though it's unfair that drugs affect her way more than most other people.  

Sounds like she needs a mood stabalizer, not vraylar (though using antipsychotics will help during these cycles of mania).  

.....psych nurse

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I have been silent on this board for almost 3 months and only periodically checking in but I had to respond to this.

My wife and I battled through this with my oldest son when he went off to college.   This is a kid that excelled at everything he ever did: school, sports, music, friends.  He went away to school and had an psychological break in his sophomore year.    He called me on his way to work and was not making any sense at all.  I tried calling him back and his phone went right to voice mail.   I called his cousin that he was very close to and asked if he could drive the route from his apartment to work to see if he could find him, no luck.

Later that afternoon my wife and I decided to make the 4 hour drive from Pittsburgh to Philly to see if we could find him.  Half way there we get a call from the police that he was picked up for trying to enter someone's home because he was lost.  The cops didn't know what to do with him and we were unable to see him until the morning.  When we did he recognized us but was very agitated and was concerned the FBI was after him and us.   He was saying crazy stuff like he was here to save the world, aliens, etc.

He was obviously having a breakdown so the police allowed us to take him home after being seen by a psychiatrist.  The doctor gave him a sedative to keep him calm on the drive home and we drove him directly to the hospital when we got home.  (The drive was a nightmare because whatever she gave him wore off about an hour from home).  He was admitted for 48 hours and I was able to get him to voluntarily stay for an additional 72 hours after that.    He was given Geodon and it helped dramatically.

That was about 9-10 years ago and he had one major lapse about 5 years ago where he had stopped taking his meds and my wife calling the police.   He was very resentful of his mother for 2 years but things have gotten better to the point where they get along fine and he tells her he loves her.   Over the last 5 years he's been able to buy a house, hold down a job (until getting laid off recently because of Covid-19)  he also has a steady girlfriend and lots of friends.    I know that he takes his meds regularly because I insist on buying them and it is obvious after about a month if he stops.   He admits now (finally) that he has a disease that needs medicine to treat just like his younger brother has to take medicine to treat his Chron's. 

My advice to you is 1) once you find a medicine that works do everything in your power to convince her to take them.  2) Do not disconnect:   she'll likely say and do things that will hurt and anger you when off of her meds.  Don't allow her to walk all over you but remember that this is a symptom of the disease and it is not really her.  

We have been through hell and back several times but things have been calm for 3-4 years and life is good.  We still can't believe that a perfectly normal kid could go bipolar so quick, seemingly overnight, but then he was away in college and maybe the signs were there and we missed them.  Still pretty weird how you can go 18-19 years without a trace of mental illness to completely whacked out.

Hang in there Tuff,  you have my prayers and know that you aren't alone in this.  A lot of us have been there.  God bless you and your family

 

Now back to my self-imposed timeout.  

 

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Posted (edited)

In case I didnt stress enough, drugs are HORRIBLE for brain chemistry.  She may very well be just fine forever with meds and no drugs.

Edited by ghostguy123
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Help get on the right path by giving her your full attention. Wife can handle the son for a little while and you take care of your daughter. She needs a full time father.

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@tuffnutt - first, I’m so sorry to hear this.  I have a sibling that was told they have a mild version of bipolar And later diagnosed with something else.  So, I can somewhat relate.  I don’t necessarily have a lot of good answers but I will say as a parent I think you owe your 11-year old the protection from the situation.  As difficult as that may seem or be to accomplish.  I’m not in any way implying you don’t do everything possible for the 18-year old.  I just agree with your wife about needing that boundary if you don’t feel she’s safe to have at home.

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9 minutes ago, Godsbrother said:

I have been silent on this board for almost 3 months and only periodically checking in but I had to respond to this.

My wife and I battled through this with my oldest son when he went off to college.   This is a kid that excelled at everything he ever did: school, sports, music, friends.  He went away to school and had an psychological break in his sophomore year.    He called me on his way to work and was not making any sense at all.  I tried calling him back and his phone went right to voice mail.   I called his cousin that he was very close to and asked if he could drive the route from his apartment to work to see if he could find him, no luck.

Later that afternoon my wife and I decided to make the 4 hour drive from Pittsburgh to Philly to see if we could find him.  Half way there we get a call from the police that he was picked up for trying to enter someone's home because he was lost.  The cops didn't know what to do with him and we were unable to see him until the morning.  When we did he recognized us but was very agitated and was concerned the FBI was after him and us.   He was saying crazy stuff like he was here to save the world, aliens, etc.

He was obviously having a breakdown so the police allowed us to take him home after being seen by a psychiatrist.  The doctor gave him a sedative to keep him calm on the drive home and we drove him directly to the hospital when we got home.  (The drive was a nightmare because whatever she gave him wore off about an hour from home).  He was admitted for 48 hours and I was able to get him to voluntarily stay for an additional 72 hours after that.    He was given Geodon and it helped dramatically.

That was about 9-10 years ago and he had one major lapse about 5 years ago where he had stopped taking his meds and my wife calling the police.   He was very resentful of his mother for 2 years but things have gotten better to the point where they get along fine and he tells her he loves her.   Over the last 5 years he's been able to buy a house, hold down a job (until getting laid off recently because of Covid-19)  he also has a steady girlfriend and lots of friends.    I know that he takes his meds regularly because I insist on buying them and it is obvious after about a month if he stops.   He admits now (finally) that he has a disease that needs medicine to treat just like his younger brother has to take medicine to treat his Chron's. 

My advice to you is 1) once you find a medicine that works do everything in your power to convince her to take them.  2) Do not disconnect:   she'll likely say and do things that will hurt and anger you when off of her meds.  Don't allow her to walk all over you but remember that this is a symptom of the disease and it is not really her.  

We have been through hell and back several times but things have been calm for 3-4 years and life is good.  We still can't believe that a perfectly normal kid could go bipolar so quick, seemingly overnight, but then he was away in college and maybe the signs were there and we missed them.  Still pretty weird how you can go 18-19 years without a trace of mental illness to completely whacked out.

Hang in there Tuff,  you have my prayers and know that you aren't alone in this.  A lot of us have been there.  God bless you and your family

 

Now back to my self-imposed timeout.  

 

thank you

 

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12 minutes ago, Godsbrother said:

 

I just wanted to say you’re an awesome human for sharing this; it’s gonna help someone.

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I wish you and your daughter the best, and hope she gets better.

If you get to the point where you're desperate and no medication or therapy seems to work, maybe look into ayahuasca treatment. I have no experience with this but I've read a number of stories from people that have had breakthroughs with it.

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1 hour ago, Long Ball Larry said:

Been dealing with similar issues with my 15-year-old daughter, so I can relate to a lot of it.  Unfortunately, I don't know much about how to deal with the adult issue.

One thing that might be worth doing is consulting with a family lawyer to see if there is any power that you can have.  Also, my wife found a local support group that she has been attending for a few months for parents of children with mental illness.  They have had a lot of knowledge about this area in general, which is extremely complex to navigate.

I'm not sure what interventions you've tried before when she was younger, so depending on that, I might have other thoughts.  Feel free to pm me with anything.  Know that you are not alone and hang in there.

This is great advice.  Remember, you can only help your daughter if you are in a good, stable mental state yourself.  

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Brief update... spoke with my daughter's case manager and she is still in hospital. thankfully. the Dr has started her on lithium per her request. The Dr. told her that if she starts meds she has to stay 24 hours to watch for side effects. If she decides to not take the meds and tries to check out, the Dr will put her on a 96 hour hold. If she does take lithium he will reevaluate in 24 hours and may choose to keep her longer. I'm not a religious man, but I've never prayed so hard for something to happen. Thank you all for the kindness and support.  

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3 hours ago, ghostguy123 said:

Make a list of all the crazy/dumb/impulsive/inappropriate/offensive stuff she does, and present it to her when she is doing well.  It's a nice wakeup call to stay on her meds, cause more often than we would like people stop prioritizing their meds because they feel better.  Also, some people really like the euphoria of being manic.  

In the meantime do anything and everything you can to make sure she stays in the hospital until she is stabilized enough to hold a rational conversation.  Promise her a "treat" or some ####, whatever it takes.   They dont really like to probate too many people, so try whatever it takes to get her to sign a voluntary admission form.  

Drugs are absolutely horrible for her illness, but do not yell at her about it.  Just approach it as though it's unfair that drugs affect her way more than most other people.  

Sounds like she needs a mood stabalizer, not vraylar (though using antipsychotics will help during these cycles of mania).  

.....psych nurse

Is lithium a good place to start?

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4 minutes ago, tuffnutt said:

Is lithium a good place to start?

For BP-1, I think it's the standard.

For BP-2 I take Latuda.  Maybe see if a higher dose of it would work for her condition.

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Posted (edited)

Sending good vibes- I have had a similar situation, although not as extreme, with both of my step children and well as my own issues to deal with.  I have no great advice regarding this other than to try to be patient, calm, and take this one step at a time. Often times it can feel like 3 steps forward, 2.5 or more backwards, a couple steps forward and so forth. It does get easier with age as maturity develops. When she is more receptive and lucid, it may be good to get a Health Care Power of Attorney  so you can be more supportive in these types of situations.

Edited by Angry Beavers
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17 minutes ago, Angry Beavers said:

Sending good vibes- I have had a similar situation, although not as extreme, with both of my step children and well as my own issues to deal with.  I have no great advice regarding this other than to try to be patient, calm, and take this one step at a time. Often times it can feel like 3 steps forward, 2.5 or more backwards, a couple steps forward and so forth. It does get easier with age as maturity develops. When she is more receptive and lucid, it may be good to get a Health Care Power of Attorney  so you can be more supportive in these types of situations.

Her mother and I are discussing this now

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I have to say I really feel your pain as a parent who just got our 15 year old daughter home from a eight day stay at a treatment facility just yesterday. Our daughter, popular, straight A, beautiful  girl began having problems in November--full on depression, sadness. She was given Zoloft by her primary doctor. Two weeks later she had a reaction and the self harm started. I took her to the ER--big mistake. We were in the hospital psych ward with violent criminals for over ten hours that day. I basically stood by the door and wouldn't let anyone in but the nurses because they just let the patients roam everywhere. It was horrific watching the police drop people off and then have these patients fight with the staff. My daughter looked at me and said, "Dad I don't belong here." Too late, she was M-1'd and placed on a 72 hr hold in what we thought was a great facility. Nope, terrible place--we watched her decline and she was released to us a mess on a litany of meds. 

We get therapy set up. We pull her out of school and start on-line schooling. The meds weren't working as she gets more and more suicidal. She didn't have a suicide plan before, but now she is going to drown herself. We find her sitting in the dark outside her bathtub the day after Christmas. New meds are given--she is now aggressive and the self harm is stepping up despite us cleansing the house of anything we can think of she can hurt herself with. She is really smart so she takes apart pencil sharpeners and uses the blades to do superficial cuts (not deep mind you--just scratches). Because of this, her therapist wants her back in, and we get her placed at a new facility. New meds given and she comes out after 10 days feeling good.

We set up a psychiatrist to handle med management--four appointments--four different doctors see her and everyone changes the meds. Finally we fire them because they keep calling the prescriptions into the wrong pharmacy that my insurance won't cover. She ends up detoxing on a medicine because they simply can't call the right phone number.. Okay new psychiatrist--she changes all the meds and puts her on a heavy regiment of many meds to include two heavy hitting anti psychotics and four other pills

Her mental health therapist is very young and talks and talks and talks and any time my daughter brings up thinking about self-harm, immediately stops the session and wants her back in a hospital rather than asking why she feels that way. Last week my daughter told her she had a dream about self harming and Boom, back to the hospital we go (despite the hospital assessor saying she doesn't think our girl is really suicidal and just had a bad dream). 

You guessed it--they took her off every med the psychiatrist put her on and said our daughter is no where near as severe to require this level of pharmaceuticals.

So we have her home now--we have a new treatment plan that will include her doing four hours a day, five days a week partial hospitalization for the next two weeks. We are going to get a new psychiatrist because the doctors there say she was being way-over medicated by the last one. This will be seven major medicine changes in six months. We are getting her a new therapist--one that will listen to her and not rush to send her to the hospital.  The damage $$ wise pre-insurance for the three hospital stays was 80k just accrued over the past 6 months, another 20k in therapists and psychiatrists--thank god for insurance.  I can't count the number of tears and sleepless nights my wife and I have had throughout this. 

I guess I post this not to hijack, but I want you to know you are not alone. Reading the OP's post, you are doing all you can. We tell our daughter, this is a marathon--not a sprint. You have to believe this. I worry for you that your daughter is an adult and you running into Hipaa release issues. The suggesting to talk to an attorney and maybe involve Probate Court could be the way to go. Have hope all it takes is the right med/therapy combo and your support is priceless. Take care, Man!!

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42 minutes ago, Courtjester said:

I have to say I really feel your pain as a parent who just got our 15 year old daughter home from a eight day stay at a treatment facility just yesterday. Our daughter, popular, straight A, beautiful  girl began having problems in November--full on depression, sadness. She was given Zoloft by her primary doctor. Two weeks later she had a reaction and the self harm started. I took her to the ER--big mistake. We were in the hospital psych ward with violent criminals for over ten hours that day. I basically stood by the door and wouldn't let anyone in but the nurses because they just let the patients roam everywhere. It was horrific watching the police drop people off and then have these patients fight with the staff. My daughter looked at me and said, "Dad I don't belong here." Too late, she was M-1'd and placed on a 72 hr hold in what we thought was a great facility. Nope, terrible place--we watched her decline and she was released to us a mess on a litany of meds. 

We get therapy set up. We pull her out of school and start on-line schooling. The meds weren't working as she gets more and more suicidal. She didn't have a suicide plan before, but now she is going to drown herself. We find her sitting in the dark outside her bathtub the day after Christmas. New meds are given--she is now aggressive and the self harm is stepping up despite us cleansing the house of anything we can think of she can hurt herself with. She is really smart so she takes apart pencil sharpeners and uses the blades to do superficial cuts (not deep mind you--just scratches). Because of this, her therapist wants her back in, and we get her placed at a new facility. New meds given and she comes out after 10 days feeling good.

We set up a psychiatrist to handle med management--four appointments--four different doctors see her and everyone changes the meds. Finally we fire them because they keep calling the prescriptions into the wrong pharmacy that my insurance won't cover. She ends up detoxing on a medicine because they simply can't call the right phone number.. Okay new psychiatrist--she changes all the meds and puts her on a heavy regiment of many meds to include two heavy hitting anti psychotics and four other pills

Her mental health therapist is very young and talks and talks and talks and any time my daughter brings up thinking about self-harm, immediately stops the session and wants her back in a hospital rather than asking why she feels that way. Last week my daughter told her she had a dream about self harming and Boom, back to the hospital we go (despite the hospital assessor saying she doesn't think our girl is really suicidal and just had a bad dream). 

You guessed it--they took her off every med the psychiatrist put her on and said our daughter is no where near as severe to require this level of pharmaceuticals.

So we have her home now--we have a new treatment plan that will include her doing four hours a day, five days a week partial hospitalization for the next two weeks. We are going to get a new psychiatrist because the doctors there say she was being way-over medicated by the last one. This will be seven major medicine changes in six months. We are getting her a new therapist--one that will listen to her and not rush to send her to the hospital.  The damage $$ wise pre-insurance for the three hospital stays was 80k just accrued over the past 6 months, another 20k in therapists and psychiatrists--thank god for insurance.  I can't count the number of tears and sleepless nights my wife and I have had throughout this. 

I guess I post this not to hijack, but I want you to know you are not alone. Reading the OP's post, you are doing all you can. We tell our daughter, this is a marathon--not a sprint. You have to believe this. I worry for you that your daughter is an adult and you running into Hipaa release issues. The suggesting to talk to an attorney and maybe involve Probate Court could be the way to go. Have hope all it takes is the right med/therapy combo and your support is priceless. Take care, Man!!

so sorry you are going through this. you have my thoughts and prayers. thank you for sharing

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, tuffnutt said:

Brief update... spoke with my daughter's case manager and she is still in hospital. thankfully. the Dr has started her on lithium per her request. The Dr. told her that if she starts meds she has to stay 24 hours to watch for side effects. If she decides to not take the meds and tries to check out, the Dr will put her on a 96 hour hold. If she does take lithium he will reevaluate in 24 hours and may choose to keep her longer. I'm not a religious man, but I've never prayed so hard for something to happen. Thank you all for the kindness and support.  

Really they need a few days to do a blood draw to check the lithium level.  Lithium toxicity sucks.  Read up on it.

Also too low isnt therapuetic.

Edited by ghostguy123
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7 minutes ago, ghostguy123 said:

Really they need a few days to do a blood draw to check the lithium level.  Lithium toxicity sucks.  Read up on it.

Also too low isnt therapuetic.

hopefully they will hold her then.... I just spoke with her. she says she is taking 900mg half in morning half in evening. she seems much calmer than when she hung up on me this morning lol. I know its not the meds yet of course. She is still convinced she is getting out tomorrow.

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7 minutes ago, ghostguy123 said:

Really they need a few days to do a blood draw to check the lithium level.  Lithium toxicity sucks.  Read up on it.

Also too low isnt therapuetic.

hopefully they will hold her then.... I just spoke with her. she says she is taking 900mg half in morning half in evening. she seems much calmer than when she hung up on me this morning lol. I know its not the meds yet of course. She is still convinced she is getting out tomorrow.

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Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, tuffnutt said:

hopefully they will hold her then.... I just spoke with her. she says she is taking 900mg half in morning half in evening. she seems much calmer than when she hung up on me this morning lol. I know its not the meds yet of course. She is still convinced she is getting out tomorrow.

Talking to people in a manic state is just.............ugh.  Words cant describe it.

I cant imagine trying to speak to my own child in that scenario.  

Oh, and a day or two of meds could absolutely be starting to work.  Some of the antipsychotics can help to stabilize right away (not all the time but sometimes), and then the mood stabilizer will actually treat the cause, while the antipsychotic hits some of the symptoms in the meantime.  

 

Edited by ghostguy123

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2 minutes ago, ghostguy123 said:

Talking to people in a manic state is just.............ugh.  Words cant describe it.

I cant imagine trying to speak to my own child in that scenario.  

 

It is so heartbreaking they are your kid but at the same time a complete different version. I don’t know really how to describe it. Other than heartbreaking

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