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wazoo11

Is it normal to feel jealous of those who had the college experience

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Posted (edited)

Like I'm happy to have received a great education from a small state University. However I feel a tad bit jealous of those who got the experience at Clemson or an SEC school with football and basketball at an ACC school.

Am I being petty?

Edited by wazoo11
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Posted (edited)
21 minutes ago, wazoo11 said:

Like I'm happy to have received a great education from a small state University. However I feel a tad bit jealous of those who got the experience at Clemson or an SEC school with football and basketball at an ACC school.

Am I being petty?

that's engineered into the experience with extreme prejudice and is possibly now ahead of religion as a category of artificial class bias, whether for athletic or social eminence

Edited by wikkidpissah
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I had an awesome overall college experience but I think about this a lot.  I would have loved to go to a school in the South where football is just incredible.

I feel fortunate that I spent 6 years in Austin and got to go to a handful of UT tailgates and games.  But it wasn't as a student.  That would have been wild.

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Posted (edited)

I went to a small school as well (no football for the past 60 years, D3 basketball team made up a bunch of guys that were only marginally better than me). I had a good college experience and got a good education (which has led to a really good career) . Met all my best friends there. 

But yeah, I am jealous of people who just went to some huge school with 50,000 people and just got to go nuts with the stereotypical college stuff. 

Certainly wouldn't trade it now (life long relationships > drunk at a football game 15 years ago) but it definitely would have been fun.  At the very least, I wish I had visited/entertained the idea of some bigger schools. I think the largest place I visited was Hofstra.

Living up on the Northeast, the "big college experience" just isn't as much of a draw. A bunch of my friends went to Rutgers,  (early 2000's, so the football team was the joke of the entire country. Hoops wasn't much better) but that never interested me at all. And I really didn't know what I wanted to do for a living, so I didn't really hone in on any bigger schools that are somewhat close (the Penn States and Virginia Techs of the world, where a bunch of my classmates ended up) based on the type of program I was looking for.

Visited like half a dozen schools, picked the place that felt most like home that would let me in. Had some good times, met some awesome people, got out in 4 years :shrug:

Edited by TLEF316
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Posted (edited)

I had zero student debt, not jealous a bit.

 

I went back 15 years later and took a 3 hour management course. It was about the same price as the 19 hours I took the 2nd semester of my Freshman year. 

Edited by Dezbelief

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Are you jealous of the sporting events or the parties associated with those events? Because you can have a damn fine time without the sports. 

if you are judging your whole life purely as a ROI on money, then you probably shouldn't feel jealous. 

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It’s the people you spend time with and have fun with that matters. the games I’m sure were cool but at the end of the day a small part of it.

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This sounds like a general issue you have with jealousy. It’s normal we all can easily struggle with it.

But if you feel you had a good education, I’m struggling to understand what you think you missed at a “big school”?  The fun of major sporting events while in school?

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20 minutes ago, shader said:

This sounds like a general issue you have with jealousy. It’s normal we all can easily struggle with it.

But if you feel you had a good education, I’m struggling to understand what you think you missed at a “big school”?  The fun of major sporting events while in school?

Yes like taligating at a LSU game

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, wazoo11 said:

Like I'm happy to have received a great education from a small state University. However I feel a tad bit jealous of those who got the experience at Clemson or an SEC school with football and basketball at an ACC school.

Am I being petty?

Editing to not be too harsh on people getting an education at an SEC school - ultimately it is a short period of your life and I am always weirded out by people who make it their whole identity. I went to DIV 1 sporting events and stuff and it was fun, but not like... life affirming.

Edited by huthut

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Person A went to a small private college, has a great career and a great life, but he's jealous of Person B.

Person B went to a state school with a decent fraternity experience, but he's jealous of Person C.

Person C went to a party school in the south. He's jealous of Person A.

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1 hour ago, TLEF316 said:

I went to a small school as well (no football for the past 60 years, D3 basketball team made up a bunch of guys that were only marginally better than me). I had a good college experience and got a good education (which has led to a really good career) . Met all my best friends there. 

But yeah, I am jealous of people who just went to some huge school with 50,000 people and just got to go nuts with the stereotypical college stuff. 

Certainly wouldn't trade it now (life long relationships > drunk at a football game 15 years ago) but it definitely would have been fun.  At the very least, I wish I had visited/entertained the idea of some bigger schools. I think the largest place I visited was Hofstra.

Living up on the Northeast, the "big college experience" just isn't as much of a draw. A bunch of my friends went to Rutgers,  (early 2000's, so the football team was the joke of the entire country. Hoops wasn't much better) but that never interested me at all. And I really didn't know what I wanted to do for a living, so I didn't really hone in on any bigger schools that are somewhat close (the Penn States and Virginia Techs of the world, where a bunch of my classmates ended up) based on the type of program I was looking for.

Visited like half a dozen schools, picked the place that felt most like home that would let me in. Had some good times, met some awesome people, got out in 4 years :shrug:

Where did you go? Sounds a bit like SUNY Binghamton, where I went, although its not a small school per se.

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55 minutes ago, wazoo11 said:

Yes like taligating at a LSU game

Sustaining high school friendships with those that went to big schools made this a non-issue. Some memorable weekends I don't particularly remember. 

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34 minutes ago, Joe Summer said:

Person A went to a small private college, has a great career and a great life, but he's jealous of Person B.

Person B went to a state school with a decent fraternity experience, but he's jealous of Person C.

Person C went to a party school in the south. He's jealous of Person A.

Life, perpetually wanting what you don't have. 

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34 minutes ago, Joe Summer said:

Person A went to a small private college, has a great career and a great life, but he's jealous of Person B.

Person B went to a state school with a decent fraternity experience, but he's jealous of Person C.

Person C went to a party school in the south. He's jealous of Person A.

I feel like this is my problem. Perhaps others as well. 

No matter what decision you make, you always look at the other options and wonder "what if" and think it would've been better. For me, this occurs due to focusing on the negatives of my experience, not focusing on the positives, and thinking the other options would have been perfect. 

Newsflash (and something I constantly remind myself): With any experience, there are positives. There are negatives. There is no perfect experience. There are simply different experiences. 

It's like "the grass is greener" mentality. You set myself up for failure with this mentality because no matter what decision you make, you think you made the wrong choice. 

A friend of mine, young guy, prior to quarantine, would always complain to me about his job. "It sucks, the pay isn't enough," etc. Quarantine hits, begins to collect unemployment (making more on UE than at his job) and is away from his job and all the things that bothered him about the job. And during quarantine, all I heard was how much he misses his job. I kid you not. I wish I had a tape recorder of one of our conversations from 6 months ago to play to him. 

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Posted (edited)
49 minutes ago, MAC_32 said:

Sustaining high school friendships with those that went to big schools made this a non-issue. Some memorable weekends I don't particularly remember. 

this.  

 

I received an early acceptance to USC in 87.  Waited and ended up going down to USD.  Would have loved following the sports program at USC (still followed).

I played lacrosse and would see my high school friends/team mates on 80% of our opponents' teams.

 

For NCAA D1, followed SDSU.... got to see faulk and for you old school ff players, darnay scott and Dan Mcgwire (Mark's brother)

Edited by Drunken knight

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2 hours ago, wazoo11 said:

 those who got the experience at Clemson

So when I went there we were pretty ####ty at football, but we did win the ACC over Hurley/Laettner one year (no lie - best game I've ever seen).

Maybe half jealous?

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1 hour ago, zamboni said:

Where did you go? Sounds a bit like SUNY Binghamton, where I went, although its not a small school per se.

 

U of Scranton. So yeah, pretty close.

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I mean, if it is your feeling, I don’t see why it would be wrong.  If it starts to consume you, that they may be an issue, but it doesn’t make the feeling wrong.

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5 hours ago, wazoo11 said:

Yes like taligating at a LSU game

Don’t be jealous.  Come on down.  You will find a 100k people ready to show you a good time.

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Posted (edited)

I didn't go to college until I was in my 40's. I very much wish I had gone during the typical 18-22yr old range. I feel like I missed out on some incredible experiences. Alternatively, I was also offered a pretty sweet gig in the military that I passed on because I was in a relationship at the time (not my future wife). I wonder about how my life would have been different had I chosen that route more often than I wonder about how the college experience would have been.

That being said, I wouldn't have the life or family that I have now if I had taken a different path. But I sure do wonder...

Edited by Tecumseh

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Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, Terminalxylem said:

I’ve attended or trained at Big Ten, SEC and ACC schools. Didn’t really enjoy any of them. :shrug:

Montana State, you are jealous of my school.  :headbang:

 

Edited by MTskibum

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1 minute ago, MTskibum said:

Montana State, you are jealous of my school.  :headbang:

 

Not jealous, but I’m sure I would have enjoyed it far more than any of the schools I attended. ⛷️🧗‍♂️🏔️

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Posted (edited)
16 hours ago, wazoo11 said:

Like I'm happy to have received a great education from a small state University. However I feel a tad bit jealous of those who got the experience at Clemson or an SEC school with football and basketball at an ACC school.

Am I being petty?

I went to a MAC school. Size wise it’s 5th and sports wise it’s 3rd-5th in state. On subjective beauty, there’s a good 15 schools that have a  prettier campus.

Never gave it much thought when I lived in state. I went up against Big Ten schools + Norte Dame in accounting competitions (complete nerd) and knew I was in a great program. Even though I was an older, non-traditional student, I belonged to and was heavily involved with a co-ed professional business fraternity. Pig roasts & keg stands, had a very fun college experience. Had a handful of super fun 9-1/2 weeks relationships & married the girl I spent my senior year with (grad student.)

After getting some seasoning I moved to NYC. For the first time I became self conscious because I didn’t have an advanced degree & wasn’t an Ivy League grad. That lasted about two weeks. I spent a lot of time in conference rooms giving power points alongside other folks with more prestigious degrees. Negotiating mergers with people from the most well known I-banks in the world. I was at the top of my game 20 years ago.

Good academic experience (on a full ride after doing 1 year of CC), 3 years in a fraternity at a Top 20 Party School, got my career off to a blazing start. No regrets.

#notgoodathumblebrag

Edited by BobbyLayne
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14 hours ago, MAC_32 said:

Sustaining high school friendships with those that went to big schools made this a non-issue. Some memorable weekends I don't particularly remember. 

This.  I spent four years at UT one weekend.

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18 hours ago, Sand said:

So when I went there we were pretty ####ty at football, but we did win the ACC over Hurley/Laettner one year (no lie - best game I've ever seen).

Maybe half jealous?

When I was a freshman at UC Santa Barbara, we upset the Runnin' Rebels, who at the time were a top-3 program, on Big Monday.  The late game, like 9pm local start, so the game was over at like midnight.  It was nuts.  Couches were torched.  And it was even raining that night.

Our basketball team wasn't very good, but we were known for being the "Cameron Indoor of the West".  

Football program had been cut a couple years before I got there, so I feel I missed out on that a bit.  Fortunately I started following UT and ended up living in Austin for 6 years and got to tailgate/go to games.

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On 6/18/2020 at 3:24 PM, wazoo11 said:

Like I'm happy to have received a great education from a small state University. However I feel a tad bit jealous of those who got the experience at Clemson or an SEC school with football and basketball at an ACC school.

Am I being petty?

A little, yes. But it's understandable.

On 6/18/2020 at 5:22 PM, MAC_32 said:

Sustaining high school friendships with those that went to big schools made this a non-issue. Some memorable weekends I don't particularly remember. 

Yep.

I enjoyed college, a lot. Our sports teams were a big part of that. The football team was bad, we had one player who did anything in the NFL (Charlie Batch) but we loved it. After my freshman year we didn't tailgate like normal, I was part of the ROTC program and we would be on the sidelines with our cannon, ready to celebrate scores. Good times with friends, but no drinking. Basketball was great, those were some good teams, highlighted by beating Duke in the tourney. 

But, joining friends in Ann Arbor and East Lansing showed just what I was missing. Those parties were a blast. 

What I "missed out on" was while at a big school, law school. I lived an hour away and had kids. We'd enjoy watching the teams but it definitely wasn't the same as it would have been, attending more than a few games, and being able to have good times on campus.

Every so often I'll talk with friends who attended military academies - now that's a different experience entirely.

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On 6/18/2020 at 1:41 PM, TLEF316 said:

I went to a small school as well (no football for the past 60 years, D3 basketball team made up a bunch of guys that were only marginally better than me). I had a good college experience and got a good education (which has led to a really good career) . Met all my best friends there. 

But yeah, I am jealous of people who just went to some huge school with 50,000 people and just got to go nuts with the stereotypical college stuff. 

Certainly wouldn't trade it now (life long relationships > drunk at a football game 15 years ago) but it definitely would have been fun.  At the very least, I wish I had visited/entertained the idea of some bigger schools. I think the largest place I visited was Hofstra.

Living up on the Northeast, the "big college experience" just isn't as much of a draw. A bunch of my friends went to Rutgers,  (early 2000's, so the football team was the joke of the entire country. Hoops wasn't much better) but that never interested me at all. And I really didn't know what I wanted to do for a living, so I didn't really hone in on any bigger schools that are somewhat close (the Penn States and Virginia Techs of the world, where a bunch of my classmates ended up) based on the type of program I was looking for.

Visited like half a dozen schools, picked the place that felt most like home that would let me in. Had some good times, met some awesome people, got out in 4 years :shrug:

This describes my college experience pretty closely, too (in that area I nearly went to Ursinus and Franklin and Marshall before settling on a similar school in MN).  Great education, friends, etc. I disliked high school so I still remember the feeling of realizing my freshmen year that there were like 70 guys on my floor all similar to me. 
 

Lacked a bit in the girl department (not that I would have been savvy enough to take advantage). After moving to AZ I realized that the PAC-12 was far superior in that category, and dated a Beaver and a Wildcat (I think there was a Cal State grad in there) before marrying a Sun Devil. 
 

If I had to do it all over again I’d have gone to Pepperdine. 

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On 6/18/2020 at 4:24 PM, wazoo11 said:

Like I'm happy to have received a great education from a small state University. However I feel a tad bit jealous of those who got the experience at Clemson or an SEC school with football and basketball at an ACC school.

Am I being petty?

I gave this some thought.

I did not do well in high school and doubted my ability to 'handle' college so I did a summer school stint at the University of Oregon and found out that if I applied myself I could do well but I was a Colorado resident and could not afford out of state tuition so I moved back to Colorado and got an AA from a small mountain college.  I did well and my second year got an academic scholarship free-ride my last year and  was offered a free ride to the University of Texas. 

I knew I wanted  to get a four year degree from a bigger college but doubted I could maintain the high GPA to keep the scholarship to UT and was supposed to live with a girl in Boulder and attend The University of Colorado.  I went the girl wound up breaking her leg and not attending so I was on my own and it turned into a great experience.  

You mentioned football and we/CU won the National Championship as I was on the sidelines working security so it was special.  

Lifetime friends, a really bad relationship (not with the girl who broke her leg) and things that led me to have incredible adventures outside of school all came from going to CU.

I get that 'longing' you have of missing out because I had that same longing before going to CU.  Football/sports is not a reason to attend a big school, its an extra.  I just so happen to have had an  amazing sports/football experience but the friends are the most important thing I took away from my University experience. 

I won't lie their is nothing like the brick-and-mortar University experience, walking a beautiful campus with old and new buildings, 'pretty-good profs', and lots of on-campus perks so I 'get' how you could feel like you missed out but I am sure you've had experiences that are precious to you. 

Everyone's experience is different.  Mine came with a price.  I paid for my own education so it meant a lot to me because I literally paid for it.  I found that nearly every single one of my friends did not pay for their education.  Family or military paid for them.  I only met one girl who was paying for her education so I think that made me appreciate it even more. 

Have to ask if you paid for your education because I suspect that you did not.  If you paid for it you would have been driven to go where you wanted at the time and I think you would have less pangs of jealousy if you paid for the education you were 'privileged' to receive.  I think you'd be grateful. 

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On 6/18/2020 at 4:24 PM, wazoo11 said:

Like I'm happy to have received a great education from a small state University. However I feel a tad bit jealous of those who got the experience at Clemson or an SEC school with football and basketball at an ACC school.

Am I being petty?

I would have had a blast but I would have never survived it.  I think most of us ended up at the "right" place given that time of life.  I wasn't a serious enough student or responsible enough young adult to have been able to handle that much distraction.  I was in college because I knew I had to have a degree to survive but man I didn't want to be there.  I went to a small bretheren college in a small Ohio town and I still almost partied my way out.  Had I gone to OSU or Houston (my only other interest, would have been AMAZING) I can't imagine I would have ever made it to class.

My niece is from upstate NY and is going to Alabama this fall - I'm so, so excited (and yes, jealous) for her.  She'll kill it.  Her brother is at THE Ohio State University so that's going to be a fun family alumni series.

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Posted (edited)
19 hours ago, Apple Jack said:

I find this a little odd.

I’m with you. Completely foreign concept to choose or be jealous of a school based on its sports and/or extracurricular activities. I guess I can understand those priorities for a high school/early college student, so maybe the OP is really young?

ETA Nevermind, I see (s)he’s graduated.

Edited by Terminalxylem

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On 6/18/2020 at 4:24 PM, wazoo11 said:

Like I'm happy to have received a great education from a small state University. However I feel a tad bit jealous of those who got the experience at Clemson or an SEC school with football and basketball at an ACC school.

Am I being petty?

My biggest take away was the freedom when I went to college.  I went to Penn State football games with friends that went there.  Don't remember much about the games or anything while there really.  Drank a lot.

But kidding aside, I do remember the awesome feeling walking into that stadium.  One was a Pitt v PSU game and it's much different than going to Heinz field where the Steelers play.

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True story from one of those PSU games.  I threw up in the sink in the bathroom.  And my buddy's brother asked my why I didn't throw up in the toilet.  I gave the honest answer.  

I was pooping when I threw up.

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