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What's something you learned later in life that you wished you knew when you were younger? (2 Viewers)

DJackson10

Footballguy
This can come anywhere from post HS, In college you learned too late, after College, after finding a job etc. 

A few things I wish I was taught and few of these things should be mandatory in school. 

Instead of learning Trig and other Math that many kids wouldn't have to do in life unless working with Science or going to school for Carpentry or architect or something similar they should've been teaching kids how to write and balance a check book. Some might debate that should be something parents should do but I feel our public education system lets us down too often and tries to throw blame on parents and others on stuff that should be taught in school. There should be a math class mandatory in HS about finances, proper credit card use etc. Stuff that gets students ready for college. This would've been solid for me back in school. 

Connecting with others and taking great opportunities when they present themselves in front of you in the job especially hire ups. I feel like I do this already but got a later start. I didn't also keep up with some co workers who got promotions who may have been able to help my current situation. I work part time but I met my co workers husband who ran another store who offered me full time and hours that I should've taken. I didn't do to school and wished I did knowing I wasn't doing great in college. The next time they offered an ASD of mine went around asking people but I was still in school. What I should've done at the time was taken the full time, dropped out of college and then returned the following semester doing night classes or something. At the very least work full time and continue to work on my Bachelors degree. 

Figuring out I wasn't going to do anything in history. Transfer to a trade school instead as I probably would've done a lot better. 

Learning more to invest in my future and putting myself in a better position. 

Learning to Drive. I've never really needed to drive as school work and home were all so close. I live in an area of the Philly Suburbs called the Main Line. It's a bunch of towns connected to the Philly SEPTA Train system that goes up to King of Prussia (Largest US Mall), Bucks and Montgomery Counties where some of the folks better off are. It goes far out to Media and other little towns that many who work in the city can easily get on a train and get into Center City where a lot of offices and business are. So I've always had public transit to and from my job, work and Home and if needed into the city. However I know I'm ripping myself from other oppurtunities a license would afford me. 

Being able to cook more meals. I can do easy stuff like Grilled cheese, eggs etc. Learned how to fry eggplant too and cook spaghetti. But I want to learn to do more. 

 
- women stuff, hugely. i spent my life wanting to understand women more than be with any particular one of them successfully. i learned a LOT and would loooove another runthru to see how much of that would be successful in more traditional terms

- mastery is the greatest boondoggle in the human array. humility is dramatically more valuable to the life process. that was a hard-won lesson 

- i wish i'd known the two greatest axioms i ever heard - John Wooden's "Happiness begins where selfishness ends" and fellow dead white man Johann Lavater's "Self-reform does more to change the world than any crowd of noisy patriots." - earlier in life

 
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Cultivate your relationships with friends and family. Tend to those relationships like you're tending a garden. Choose your inner circle carefully and put in work for the people that really matter in your life.

Travel. See as much of the world as you can. Especially while you're young.

Manage your money. Pay yourself first, save, invest in real estate. Really wish I had known this when younger. I lived a pretty bohemian lifestyle, not giving a crap about money and being proud of it. Got a much later start than I wish I had, building a nest egg and preparing for retirement, kids' education, etc. Let time make you money.

To reiterate what wikkid said: "Happiness begins where selfishness ends." What a great quote! That is truly the secret to life.

 
wikkidpissah said:
- women stuff, hugely. i spent my life wanting to understand women more than be with any particular one of them successfully. i learned a LOT and would loooove another runthru to see how much of that would be successful in more traditional terms

- mastery is the greatest boondoggle in the human array. humility is dramatically more valuable to the life process. that was a hard-won lesson 

- i wish i'd known the two greatest axioms i ever heard - John Wooden's "Happiness begins where selfishness ends" and fellow dead white man Johann Lavater's "Self-reform does more to change the world than any crowd of noisy patriots." - earlier in life
this is a big one. 

Also I wished I'd known I had Aspergers back in school. Always thought I was just shy but I was socially delayed compared to others. Learned later that I opened up more later years of HS because people that age start to slow down in terms of development as it's not a rapid development. It gave someone like me time to catch up to the rest. 

 
northern exposure said:
I've learned to keep posts short. Ain't nobody got time to read all that.
I've learned if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all or simple ignore the person. Oh well 

 
Angry Beavers said:
Wimmen and money management............ are the obvious ones

About myself - I wish I had realized I had my own demons to deal with - I would have understood myself a hell of a lot better and made better life choices. 
Same here if I had known I had Aspergers sooner then my last few weeks of college would've iMHO helped me out more. Physiologist said it may not have made a huge difference. Maybe in his view but from what Ive read of others experience and all I think it could've helped my stress levels and all a lot more. 

 
I wish I knew I had ADD much earlier, that would have been a massive help. I also probably would have focused more on eating better as a kid. I topped out in college at almost 230(height at 5'10", so I was pretty obese), over the past 2 years, I've changed my lifestyle and eating habits, now I'm in the mid 150s. I absolutely love being skinny! I wish I had kept the weight off 10 years ago when I got to the 170s.

 
I should have actually listened to that Marines recruiter. Gave up OCS to go to a state university and get a degree that I have never used. Took me years to not be broke and in a career I hated.

 
I've learned if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all or simple ignore the person. Oh well 
In all seriousness, brevity can be the key if you want people to read what you have written. I will write out a post,email, etc. and then take a minute to read through it before I send or post it. I try to see if I can make my point with fewer words.

You can take the advice or choose to ignore it. It's up to you.

 
I wish I knew I had ADD much earlier, that would have been a massive help. I also probably would have focused more on eating better as a kid. I topped out in college at almost 230(height at 5'10", so I was pretty obese), over the past 2 years, I've changed my lifestyle and eating habits, now I'm in the mid 150s. I absolutely love being skinny! I wish I had kept the weight off 10 years ago when I got to the 170s.
I hear you on the ADD (no 'H' in my ADD). In hindsight, I'm amazed I completed my high school education successfully.  Back then I had no awareness of the fact that my attention was like a fart riding around on a hot skillet.  Math was the only thing that felt good; math doesn't feel so good as I age.

 
I hear you on the ADD (no 'H' in my ADD). In hindsight, I'm amazed I completed my high school education successfully.  Back then I had no awareness of the fact that my attention was like a fart riding around on a hot skillet.  Math was the only thing that felt good; math doesn't feel so good as I age.
I bounced around jobs for a few years, including teaching math for 2 years. Looking back, I hated it. Now I'm an electrician, and it's much easier to wake up for work.

 
- you are responsible for your happiness. 

-anything mechanical.

- basic home maintenance. We've done okay but have learned all of it as adults. My dad was many things, handy around the house was not one of them and I never tried to learn from others. Thankfully my FIL is very capable and helpful.

 
Assets make money. Invest in assets. 
 

Ask/listen more than you talk. You’ll make more friends/connections. 
 

Home improvement/carpentry/home maintenance and cooking - had to teach myself those things. 

 
Compound interest should win this discussion in a runaway, but it won't.
Meh, if you have a decent job you can earn enough to retire comfortably, even if you start saving a little later. I’d rather learn to live simply, and invest in experiences while young enough to enjoy them fully.

 
In all seriousness, brevity can be the key if you want people to read what you have written. I will write out a post,email, etc. and then take a minute to read through it before I send or post it. I try to see if I can make my point with fewer words.

You can take the advice or choose to ignore it. It's up to you.
This is good advice, DJax. Take it. Trust me as somebody who wishes no ill will to almost everybody on this board and can't read your stuff because of length.

I've also learned to accept criticism when it's constructive rather than a way to be cheap or mean. This is one of those times.

 
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DJackson10 said:
Learning to Drive. I've never really needed to drive as school work and home were all so close. I live in an area of the Philly Suburbs called the Main Line. It's a bunch of towns connected to the Philly SEPTA Train system that goes up to King of Prussia (Largest US Mall), Bucks and Montgomery Counties where some of the folks better off are. It goes far out to Media and other little towns that many who work in the city can easily get on a train and get into Center City where a lot of offices and business are. So I've always had public transit to and from my job, work and Home and if needed into the city. However I know I'm ripping myself from other oppurtunities a license would afford
What town?  Always assumed you were a delco guy.

 
DJackson10 said:
Learning to Drive. I've never really needed to drive as school work and home were all so close. I live in an area of the Philly Suburbs called the Main Line. It's a bunch of towns connected to the Philly SEPTA Train system that goes up to King of Prussia (Largest US Mall), Bucks and Montgomery Counties where some of the folks better off are. It goes far out to Media and other little towns that many who work in the city can easily get on a train and get into Center City where a lot of offices and business are. So I've always had public transit to and from my job, work and Home and if needed into the city. However I know I'm ripping myself from other oppurtunities a license would afford me. 
Interesting. I was going to post something almost the opposite. Not that I'm against knowing how to drive, I just think people get stuck wasting so much of their lives sitting in a car on the way to living their life.

I wish I could go back to my 20's and tell myself to set up my life to drive for PLEASURE rather than NECESSITY. Spent the vast majority of my 20's commuting ~1hr each direction because I thought I was "saving" money. Often times that commute was longer due to traffic/construction/weather/etc. When you really think about that.... ~10hr+ per week.... ~500hr+ per year.... I wasted AT LEAST 5000 hours of my 20's just sitting in traffic staring at the bumper in front of me. That was in the days before podcasts and terrestrial radio was(and still is) absolute trash. What a waste of time/energy almost every single day. How much $ would I pay to have 5000 hours of my 20's back?

Don't get me wrong, I also have some great memories of road trips I took in my 20's(and still enjoy them today) but those trips made for pleasure is such a small fraction of the time that I used to spend in a car. I would much rather live a 10min or less commute to work and just rent a car for those few road trips every year that you really enjoy. 

 
I call it "the theory of least interest". I'm sure there is a real term for it.  Basically, whoever has the least interest in the successful outcome or tone of a relationship is the one in control of the relationship.  It applies universally in personal and business relationships.

 
I'm not as smart as I think I am. Start as early as possible with a low cost index fund. If for some reason I'm convinced to buy 100 shares of Amazon at around $88 per. Don't sell a week or so later for $92.

 
This is good advice, DJax. Take it. Trust me as somebody who wishes no ill to almost everybody on this board and can't read your stuff because of length.

I've also learned to accept criticism when it's constructive rather than a way to be cheap or mean. This is one of those times.
There's a few people on here kind of in the out to get me group because of something I've said or did. So it's hard to see who's trying to be helpful sometimes and who's trying to be part of the peanut gallery 

 
Interesting. I was going to post something almost the opposite. Not that I'm against knowing how to drive, I just think people get stuck wasting so much of their lives sitting in a car on the way to living their life.

I wish I could go back to my 20's and tell myself to set up my life to drive for PLEASURE rather than NECESSITY. Spent the vast majority of my 20's commuting ~1hr each direction because I thought I was "saving" money. Often times that commute was longer due to traffic/construction/weather/etc. When you really think about that.... ~10hr+ per week.... ~500hr+ per year.... I wasted AT LEAST 5000 hours of my 20's just sitting in traffic staring at the bumper in front of me. That was in the days before podcasts and terrestrial radio was(and still is) absolute trash. What a waste of time/energy almost every single day. How much $ would I pay to have 5000 hours of my 20's back?

Don't get me wrong, I also have some great memories of road trips I took in my 20's(and still enjoy them today) but those trips made for pleasure is such a small fraction of the time that I used to spend in a car. I would much rather live a 10min or less commute to work and just rent a car for those few road trips every year that you really enjoy. 
I get what you are saying. I don't NEED TO DRIVE to work as it's a literal 5 min drive. Just helps in bad weather or grocery shopping type. What I want to drive is for times in say "Hey we need people to go to the this store for the day or week we're gonna pay you extra as well." Or "I need an extra 2 days hey so and so who's store is 15 mins from me could use me both days.' But taking the bus it's takes me 30-40 mins. Trust me the amount of time I've wasted on public transit sucks. I also want to drive so I can take road trips or go see bands with a friend or so in places where it's harder to do public or uber. I went to see my Brother today in the city took uber. A trip that usually cost me 15-20 cost me $50 because of the pandemic. Luckily on the way home I was closer to home where I was able to take SEPTA home which was a lot cheaper 

 
Do you what you know you are supposed to do immediately. Procrastination is unneccessary gambling and leads to lost opportunities and frustration.

Also, never pass up an opportunity to travel, see something new, try something new or experience a different culture.  The world is huge and we waste too much time in our own little bubbles.

 
Do you what you know you are supposed to do immediately. Procrastination is unneccessary gambling and leads to lost opportunities and frustration.

Also, never pass up an opportunity to travel, see something new, try something new or experience a different culture.  The world is huge and we waste too much time in our own little bubbles.
I do the first one a ton but I know a lot of others who will too.

Yeah this is a big one. Haven't gotten many chances to do this. You can also tell out and about which people are wrapped in their own bubbles and who isn't too 

 
Lots of good ones listed so far that I agree with.

Sigh. The hardest lesson I have FINALLY learned is that "I love you" means different things to different people. 

This goes for family, friendships, and especially in romantic interests.

 
Work is just what you do - it’s not who you are. Best advice I ever received and for a time in my 20’s and 30’s my identity and self worth was all based on being the provider for my family.  There’s more..:.

I wish it wouldn’t have taken me being in debt and leveraged to not want to live like that. Maybe it’s maturation but my kids already know this before I did. 

I was ahead on the cooking aspect which is a terrific skill set. Behind on the handyman aspect. Dad wasn’t around to teach me and I have zero self inclination myself. 

Wish I had shied away from wealth managers and went straight to low cost index funds. Wish I had several investment properties by now. 

I got it right in several areas. I have a phenomenal group of friends. Year 28 for a 24 guy Ryder Cup golf trip. We are on WhatsApp year round (obviously fantasy football too). Family and friends first. 

Glad is was always about experiences over things for me  

Should have paid closer attention to warning signs with my health. #### catches up to you in your 50’s
 

 
I call it "the theory of least interest". I'm sure there is a real term for it.  Basically, whoever has the least interest in the successful outcome or tone of a relationship is the one in control of the relationship.  It applies universally in personal and business relationships.




 
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Pissing money away on expensive vehicles.

My wife and I both came from lower income families.  When I was growing up we never had a new car.   So after we got out of college and both started making good money we wanted nice vehicles. I was driving a brand Limited Explorer, wife was driving a BMW, we bought a new Corvette a couple years later as a third vehicle. 

A month after we bought the Corvette my wife got pregnant with our first daughter so we hardly ever drove the car but kept it around because it looked good in the garage.  Sold in 10 years later with 35K miles on it.  All in all with what we were paying for vehicles and insurance we wasted a ton of cash on vehicles in our 20s.  When I got a promotion I was able to get program vehicles. I could not believe how much money we started saving after that.

I tell my kids now get the best vehicle you can for the least amount of money.

Second thing was if you are doing home improvements don`t go half assed to save a few dollars. You will regret it later.  My wife and I would go out to dinned and blow money on food and drinks yet I would try to save 50 bucks on a sink that I ended up replacing later because it was not what I wanted.

 
This can come anywhere from post HS, In college you learned too late, after College, after finding a job etc. 

A few things I wish I was taught and few of these things should be mandatory in school. 

Instead of learning Trig and other Math that many kids wouldn't have to do in life unless working with Science or going to school for Carpentry or architect or something similar they should've been teaching kids how to write and balance a check book. Some might debate that should be something parents should do but I feel our public education system lets us down too often and tries to throw blame on parents and others on stuff that should be taught in school. There should be a math class mandatory in HS about finances, proper credit card use etc. Stuff that gets students ready for college. This would've been solid for me back in school. 

Connecting with others and taking great opportunities when they present themselves in front of you in the job especially hire ups. I feel like I do this already but got a later start. I didn't also keep up with some co workers who got promotions who may have been able to help my current situation. I work part time but I met my co workers husband who ran another store who offered me full time and hours that I should've taken. I didn't do to school and wished I did knowing I wasn't doing great in college. The next time they offered an ASD of mine went around asking people but I was still in school. What I should've done at the time was taken the full time, dropped out of college and then returned the following semester doing night classes or something. At the very least work full time and continue to work on my Bachelors degree. 

Figuring out I wasn't going to do anything in history. Transfer to a trade school instead as I probably would've done a lot better. 

Learning more to invest in my future and putting myself in a better position. 

Learning to Drive. I've never really needed to drive as school work and home were all so close. I live in an area of the Philly Suburbs called the Main Line. It's a bunch of towns connected to the Philly SEPTA Train system that goes up to King of Prussia (Largest US Mall), Bucks and Montgomery Counties where some of the folks better off are. It goes far out to Media and other little towns that many who work in the city can easily get on a train and get into Center City where a lot of offices and business are. So I've always had public transit to and from my job, work and Home and if needed into the city. However I know I'm ripping myself from other oppurtunities a license would afford me. 

Being able to cook more meals. I can do easy stuff like Grilled cheese, eggs etc. Learned how to fry eggplant too and cook spaghetti. But I want to learn to do more. 
You still have time to do many of these things - my mother and mother in law were both well past 30 when they learned to drive. I'm not a great cook but started learning how to put meals together in my 40s and I've become fairly good at making good healthy meals that taste as good as many of the meals I would get eating out.

 

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