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Teaching your kid how to drive (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter shuke
- Start date
Joe Summer
Footballguy
Large parking lot + old car.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
We've done that. Then moved on to side streets. Now onto main roads, and it's stressful.
Joe Summer
Footballguy
Pretty sure you need to master the whole "braking" thing before leaving the parking lot.
CletiusMaximus
Footballguy
I actually said these words to my son last week - “You can ignore me all you want when we’re at home and I’m asking you to do something 4 times before you do it. When we’re in this car and I ask you to slow down, you slow the #### down or you’ll be riding your ####ing bike to your senior prom.”
Bull Dozier
Footballguy
Had a similar conversation with my youngest. We like to debate all the time. One of our first times out, he was pulling out of an intersection where cross traffic didn't stop. He started going and I said stop. He kept going so I yelled stop. After that I said "normally I say something and you consider it, when we are driving and I tell you to do something you do it instantly and you can question me later."
More pertinent to @shuke, every kid is different. I taught three different kids, and they all took a different amount of time to leave the parking lot. One couldn't figure out where passenger side of the car was, so they'd drive to close to the side of the road. One couldn't figure out breaking. We just spent more time on whatever they needed to learn. Two of the three graduated side streets to main streets pretty quick. the third would want to come to an almost complete stop when taking a right hand turn. Just gotta work on the things they need work on and don't overwhelm them if it is a long list. The one who needed work on right hand turns, we literally just went around the same block for 20 minutes until he had it figured out. Boring as heck, but worth it when you turn the keys over to them for the first time.
My son is taking his permit test this Friday. My wife and I have uh, different driving styles, so I feel bad for the kid already. 
Hov34
Eephus's Great Great Great Love Child
Side Note: Make sure once you've mastered the "art" of driving to show them how to pump gas. Never did that with my oldest (I just gassed up cars at Costco on Sunday morning like the other old farts). She did it on her own a few times but one time she put diesel in her Honda CRV by mistake. $1,400 to flush out the engine. Car started sputtering on the interstate after about 5 miles but thank goodness she got off and on a side road. Local police stayed with her until I could get there and have it towed.
Avoid the green "gas" pump!!!
Avoid the green "gas" pump!!!
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Zasada
Footballguy
This. My wife never learned how to pump gas until I showed her, well after we were married. She always went to full-serve (a rarity up north) stations or her dad did it for her.
She did not react well to me being slack-jawed when she told me she didn't know how. My lesson learned from this is to be expressionless, no matter how amazed I am by what she didn't learn how to do in her youth.
This is good.
My advice is to try and maintain patience and to BDs point, not overwhelm them with stuff. My wife would take the boys out and just continuously hammer out points of instruction and criticism and it would make my oldest angry and get the youngest thinking about too much stuff. Both bad states of mind for kids learning to drive. I took over and we would spend hours in the school parking lot doing the same drills that the kids needed to focus on and half the time I wouldn’t say anything and let them figure it out on their own. We’d do a recap and I would provide pointers when needed. Learning to drive is stressful as is for both teacher and student, yelling and constant nit picking make it worse.
beer 30
Footballguy
Taught both of my daughters, had this same conversation more than once.My work is next to an old minor league stadium that has been closed for years. Every weekend full of drivers learning just like I did. Nice road around the parking lot for them to practice on. I know not everyone has a perfect setup like this but it really helped before we went on the roads.
And @CletiusMaximus hit on it, I had one daughter that listened well, I had one that tuned me out. I told the listener this and she understood and adhered, for the most part, to my instruction. The other one I shouted more than once but she eventually got it. One of the saving graces for that one was when she was at driving school. She was waiting to get picked up along with a bunch of other kids. A mother had parked in front of the the place were class was. Still don't know what she was doing but as she went to leave, with people filing out in front of her, she floored it and drove straight into the building clipping one of the students along the way. Buried her BMW up to the rear bumper into an empty insurance offices reception area. Kid she hit only had a broken arm but it happened in front of the whole class and I know my daughter understood right then the seriousness and responsibility of driving a 2 ton piece of metal that can go 100 mph.
berndog
Footballguy
I taught 3 kids to drive and there are Lots of good points here already.
One thing that worked well for me was lots of short 10-15 minute sessions when they are starting. It might only be a 2 minute spin around the neighborhood before dinner.
It makes sure tensions never get to high and allows them to process everything without getting overwhelmed.
One thing that worked well for me was lots of short 10-15 minute sessions when they are starting. It might only be a 2 minute spin around the neighborhood before dinner.
It makes sure tensions never get to high and allows them to process everything without getting overwhelmed.
AAABatteries
Footballguy
This is stating the obvious but like most things in life - practice, practice, practice. My oldest son picked things up fairly quickly and we didn't have to do a ton of practice but we still went out a bunch. My oldest daughter took much longer and it was obvious she wasn't comfortable so I made her just keep going out and working and practicing. She's doing really well now.
One other thing I did with both is to make them ride with me and specifically pay attention and coach/teach them on things - without them having to be nervous/fearful. Just driving around you encounter situations that you can explain to them what they should do.
One other thing I did with both is to make them ride with me and specifically pay attention and coach/teach them on things - without them having to be nervous/fearful. Just driving around you encounter situations that you can explain to them what they should do.
Courtjester
The Town Drunk
I think just throw them the keys and have them drive your new Subaru across the parking alone is really the key to them learning.....
sho nuff
Footballguy
Took a lot of patience...I didn't always have it and early on triggered my own anxiety. Wife did some of the earlier stuff and he seems to respond better to her in that situation. So she probably did 75% of the earlier lessons. Now we just let him drive if he is going anywhere with us. Just started working on some interstate driving. He has done much better...but yeah, still have to tell him to brake a bit easier into stop signs and redlights...and he likes to take the ol rolling right on red lights (Im like...you shouldn't be doing that til you are older and know to check your rearview mirror for cops first).
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
ChiefD
Footballguy
My son is 14 and got his learners permit about a month ago. He's in a drivers ed class, but we do all the practice driving and then he drives with his instructor on Sunday's for a specific lesson that we needs to pass every week. The instructor hands out the route for each week, so he gets a chance to practice that route over and over.
We spent a couple hours over two days in a parking lot, and I then took him through side streets through our neighborhood. That was week one. So basically about an hour a day for a week. He also had to know how to angle park as well, so we knocked that out in the school parking lot.
Week two we went onto main roads with stoplights and some higher speeds. An hour a day and then he had his test lesson on Sunday. This also included lane changes and turns across 4 lane roads. This was also 3 point turns and two point turns week as well.
Week three is highway driving, so we did that. I had actually started him on brief highway driving in week two. Basically easy stuff - easy on where he stays in the same lane until the next right hand ramp. We just got done with that one.
Week four is this week, and this will be parking week. Parallel parking, more angled parking, more three point turns, etc. So we will be doing this all week this week.
And then he is done with his drivers ed.
My wife and I both take him, but he has taken it very seriously from the get go. He's almost too cautious - I want him to make his decisions a little quicker just out of respect for drivers who may be behind him. But we try and be very calm. I just have a bag of sunflower seeds in the car with me, so I just chew those and spit the seeds out the window as we roll along. Seems to keep me calm and he responds really well to that.
Less emotion in this has worked for us, but we have definitely had the conversation that he must be 100% focused ALL THE TIME. We've told him that he is behind the wheel of a machine that can change someone's life in an instant, so being careful is crucial. And so far he has heeded that. He couldn't drive a thing a month ago. Now he's gotten really, really good.
One thing I will add for those with younger kids, and I wish I did this more. We did some of this in the last year, but should have started earlier. If you can, take your kids go cart driving. Get them used to steering a car, using a gas pedal, using the brakes. For those that play golf, take them with you and let them drive the cart. Let them get used to the basic functions of piloting a vehicle.
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AAABatteries
Footballguy
I don’t recall the number of hours but for me it was mostly about how comfortable I felt and equally important how comfortable I perceived them to be. Nobody will be an excellent driver day one but to me if they are unsure, tentative or seem apprehensive then I’d make them keep practicing.
Also - mix things up. Don’t let them just do the same roads with the same challenges. Make them experience something new to see how they will react. My daughter in particular was “bad” with new things are first. She would almost freeze - I calmly explained you can’t do that - you have to keep driving or your most likely going to get hurt or hurt someone. When they feel relaxed with new wrinkles that seems like a good indicator they are pretty much ready.
![[scooter]](/data/avatars/m/22/22287.jpg?1659477690){kind=avatar}
[scooter]
Footballguy
I was riding motorcycles and go carts from the age of 6, so all of that braking/turning/slowing/speeding stuff was ingrained in my brain by the time I got behind the wheel of a car.
(Then again, I flunked my driver's test the first time out. And the second time.
)
-fish-
Footballguy
I'd say that over the course of teaching my daughter how to drive I pulled the ebrake about 4 times and grabbed the wheel twice.
My guesses:
Parking lots: 4 hours
Side streets: 6-10 hours
Main roads/Freeways:: 50 hours (they need 60 hours before they can take a test here, and have an app to track their time).
My guesses:
Parking lots: 4 hours
Side streets: 6-10 hours
Main roads/Freeways:: 50 hours (they need 60 hours before they can take a test here, and have an app to track their time).
zamboni
Footballguy
One of the hardest things to do as a parent - giving them critical, potentially life-saving advice without them tuning you out as sounding like criticizing/nagging.
What we did that helped is supplement our own teaching with a few private lessons. They’re more likely to listen to someone else critiquing them than their parents.
What we did that helped is supplement our own teaching with a few private lessons. They’re more likely to listen to someone else critiquing them than their parents.
beer 30
Footballguy
I remember how I learned. Me and the old man would go cut wood on this farm that was about 20 miles away. You could get to it via backroads mostly so we'd cut wood all day, the old man would be downing Pabst, he'd wait till I had the truck loaded up then flip me the keys and say "take me home boy". It was a matter of survival for me, think I was 13-14
Was different for both kids. I let them drive around however they wanted in a big ole parking lot for probably 5-6 hours and had them practice pulling in to parking spots etc just to let them get comfortable with the vehicle and how it operates etc. I asked them how comfortable they were going on side streets, highways, downtown, etc and didn’t try to push them too much. Would also gauge how comfortable I was with them. Oldest kid was ready a lot sooner than the younger kid.
mphtrilogy
Footballguy
I've been working with my 17 year old daughter since April. Knowing that Drivers Ed was probably not gonna happen until next Spring, it's been a very slow go.
Not having any instruction makes it tough, with my other two daughters I did a lot of practice with them after Drivers Ed but before the road test.
Now I am starting with her from scratch cold turkey, yikes.
We try to go once a week for 30 minutes (we take a break every 3 or 4 weeks) and I am sticking with the very easiest and closest roads possible to my house. We were in the parking lot nearby for about 2months (about 6hours of time) and have at least advanced to the local roads around my house. But, Long Island Drivers are rough, even with the student drive magnet car signs she will get honked at a stop sign, its a jungle out there.
We try to go 3/4 times a month and once she gets some drivers ed in, we will ramp that up to multiple times a week. It's super stressful and my wife will pay top dollar to not get into the car until drivers ed is over...lol... So it's a one man show right now... Doesn't help to have a lot more folks walking around these days...
Best of luck!
Not having any instruction makes it tough, with my other two daughters I did a lot of practice with them after Drivers Ed but before the road test.
Now I am starting with her from scratch cold turkey, yikes.
We try to go once a week for 30 minutes (we take a break every 3 or 4 weeks) and I am sticking with the very easiest and closest roads possible to my house. We were in the parking lot nearby for about 2months (about 6hours of time) and have at least advanced to the local roads around my house. But, Long Island Drivers are rough, even with the student drive magnet car signs she will get honked at a stop sign, its a jungle out there.
We try to go 3/4 times a month and once she gets some drivers ed in, we will ramp that up to multiple times a week. It's super stressful and my wife will pay top dollar to not get into the car until drivers ed is over...lol... So it's a one man show right now... Doesn't help to have a lot more folks walking around these days...
Best of luck!
Nemesis
Footballguy
I had the privelege of teaching my 2 girls........mom is too impatient so the task fell to me.
When my 2 girls were younger, I started letting them sit on my lap & just steer the car around the back lot of a grocery store when we were waiting for mom, who was inside the store. They only had to focus on 1 aspect at this age. (also a good point about Golf carts, go carts, etc)
When we got to the real thing, i would take them out to a commercial business park on the weekend. Lots of buildings and parking lots and hardly anyone around on the roads....enough variety to work on different things. Oldest daughter was almost too cautious and i had to slowly nudge her along......while the younger daughter was the opposite (whoa nelly, slow down)
I also made a list on my phone of advanced things i NEEDED them to prove to me that they could handle before i would fully feel comfortable. Sure the obvious ones mentioned above were on the list, but i also added to the list:
Also, we called the FL Safety Council and they provided 3 free driving lessons, so learning from someone else not related to them can help. Ask around in your locale.
When my 2 girls were younger, I started letting them sit on my lap & just steer the car around the back lot of a grocery store when we were waiting for mom, who was inside the store. They only had to focus on 1 aspect at this age. (also a good point about Golf carts, go carts, etc)
When we got to the real thing, i would take them out to a commercial business park on the weekend. Lots of buildings and parking lots and hardly anyone around on the roads....enough variety to work on different things. Oldest daughter was almost too cautious and i had to slowly nudge her along......while the younger daughter was the opposite (whoa nelly, slow down)
I also made a list on my phone of advanced things i NEEDED them to prove to me that they could handle before i would fully feel comfortable. Sure the obvious ones mentioned above were on the list, but i also added to the list:
- Drive the car in normal light rain
- Drive the car in a torrential downpour........you know, the kind when you can barely see the lines on the road. (since we live in FL, that's every afternoon at 4pm!)
- Get on a highway onramp and merge with traffic
- Once on the highway, drive a little on the apron (on purpose).......sometimes there are bumps, but they should get experience on how to recognize & recover so they don't freak out and over-react.
- Let them drive and then I turned on the stereo to something to rock out and turned it up to 11 and tried to distract them by singing, etc.
- Force them to retrieve something from the passenger seat or back seat while driving. (obvioulsy, do this in a remote area, but it shows them that when you reach the wheel moves more than you think)
Also, we called the FL Safety Council and they provided 3 free driving lessons, so learning from someone else not related to them can help. Ask around in your locale.
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-OZ-
Footballguy
I'm about 6 weeks into teaching our second son.
We practiced in an empty parking lot 3x, then country roads including many dirt roads I wanted to explore to find launching areas for the kayak. It's been kind of fun, that part.
I took him on the highway the 5th time out, not realizing we had construction. Concrete barriers maybe a foot from the passenger side is not good for the heart. I also lost track of time and it got dark while we're on the highway, so now he's starting to freak out. We take a two lane exit, he apparently doesn't realize it's two lanes (I did tell him to stay in the left lane, but who listens?) Let's just say the guy in the right lane has excellent breaks and the mouth of a sailor.
Another time (7th time driving I think) we went to drop off the Highlander for his brother (he works, and I refuse to use the van or RAV4 to teach right now, the 08 Highlander is perfect), 5 lane road, he's in the right. I looked down for a second to answer a text, next thing I know he's "I need to be in the other lane", and goes without looking
I don't cuss at my kids (often) but for the first time in his life he got an earful. (He almost side swiped a Lexus, who thankfully went into the left turn lane and there was nobody there). And why in tarnation does he keep looking over his right shoulder to merge left?
Rustoleum
Footballguy
AndrewClark
Footballguy
@shuke regardless of the responses here, my friend Ronald Silks told me you are a great dad and your kid is awesome too. You'll figure this out on your own and with some FFA guidance, I think what you're doing even by asking is admirable. And I don't think you are capable of doing it the wrong way. Its truly not an exact science. I think my only tip is to just try to remain as calm as possible even tho I know it's tough. Best of luck and wishes for the next step.
trogg78
Footballguy
sports_fan
Footballguy
Can you take the test in a self driving car?
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
mr. furley
Footballguy
SUPERBABY(tm) DON'T KILL SHUKE
Roy L Fewks
Footballguy
I learned to drive on a 3-wheeler. I still lean into the curves.
Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
This is very important. And if you are in the North, driving on snow/ice conditions. And day/night, obviously.Nemesis said:
Clown Car
Footballguy
My whole town is like a drivers ed course. No red lights in the county. Almost no traffic past 9 pm. And traffic means a car or two. I’m teaching the 5th one to drive now. It is odd that I am pretty calm giving instructions and critiquing him because normally I’m a yeller. You have to try and be as relaxed and calm as you can because they feel your tension. He won’t even drive with his dad anymore. Good luck. You’ll get through it. Make sure you go over what to do when an accident happens, when a cop pulls them over, or a break down occurs.
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
Make em learn like I did. 66 mustang, souped you engine, no power brakes, no power steering, stock wheels and suspension.
Once you can power side through corners in a heap like that you can drive anything.
Once you can power side through corners in a heap like that you can drive anything.
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ChiefD
Footballguy
I remember years ago when I was in college I was running on a track near a residential area. It was a rainy day so the roads were a little slick. I hear the roar of this engine and this mustang fastback - really nice looking, restored car - beautiful....Make em learn like I did. 66 mustang, souped you engine, no power brakes, no power steering, stock wheels and suspension.
Once you can power side through corners in a heap like that you can drive anything.
Anyway, this mustang comes and tries to power slide through a corner - ended up spinning in a circle and the back panel smacked right into a telephone poll. I stop and watch, and these two teenagers get out in disbelief.
I could hear the driver yelling to his buddy: "Holy ####...my dad is gonna kill me."
I've never laughed so hard in my laugh. Hell, I'm laughing right now typing this. Poor kid.
Raging weasel
Footballguy
I have a 35 year old half brother that has never learned to drive. He lives with my 81 year old Dad who has to take him to work and back 5-6 days a week. We've tried for years to get him to learn but he just doesn't seem interested.
Last year at this time my Dad spent 6 weeks in the hospital and we thought that would be the wake up call he needed, but nope. I told my Dad to just stop doing it and make him Uber,bike,take the bus,whatever and that would get him off his butt.
Last year at this time my Dad spent 6 weeks in the hospital and we thought that would be the wake up call he needed, but nope. I told my Dad to just stop doing it and make him Uber,bike,take the bus,whatever and that would get him off his butt.
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
I remember years ago when I was in college I was running on a track near a residential area. It was a rainy day so the roads were a little slick. I hear the roar of this engine and this mustang fastback - really nice looking, restored car - beautiful....
Anyway, this mustang comes and tries to power slide through a corner - ended up spinning in a circle and the back panel smacked right into a telephone poll. I stop and watch, and these two teenagers get out in disbelief.
I could hear the driver yelling to his buddy: "Holy ####...my dad is gonna kill me."
I've never laughed so hard in my laugh. Hell, I'm laughing right now typing this. Poor kid.
Been there done that. I rebuilt that car a half dozen times from stuff like that.
I also had the time of my life in that deadly heap of metal. I had a MEAN engine and a $500 Maaco paint job but nobody knew that. Many a maiden lost their baubles to my trade in that car. Back when you could pick up a girl, a fifth of crown, a few packs of cigarettes and drink and smoke all the way to the beach. Who knows, we might just drive into those corn fields and disappear for 20 minutes.
Good times.
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Doug B
Footballguy
My mother-in-law might never have pumped gas. Maybe as a teen, but ever since she's been married to my FIL, he bends over backwards to make sure he's always the one filling their cars with gas.
My wife is scared of gas stations -- someone she knew got murdered at a gas station in high school, and she considers them dangerous no matter the location. Accordingly, I am doing the same thing that my FIL is doing -- always getting the gas for both of our cars.
