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Gaylord Focker

Birthday
Jun 23, 1972 (Age: 51)

Signature

Twenty feet away from me, Britney Spears is pantless. Her sculpted hair makes her look like Marilyn Monroe on a date with DiMaggio, assuming they're going to Manhattan's finest pantless restaurant. She's wearing a sweater that probably costs more than my parents' house, and her white heels add five inches to her five-foot-four pantless frame. Oh, and did I mention she's pantless? She's not wearing any pants.

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