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There are certain pillars, arbitrary or not, factuall incorrect or not, logical or not, which have family nucleus has IMO. These things are pretty much immutable and engrained in each family member. To question one of them is seen by the family as insult. Whether it actually is an attempt to better them or to objectively affect something else like a relationship for the better is moot. A family will simply see it as an outside third person essentially saying said family member's family hasn't done what is best for the family member, and in their eyes that have tried the best they could and see that as an insult and a threat to pry the family member away and they will do what they can to prevent that.
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