Recent content by Slumpbusters

Just got back from the Cosmo. The location is key for this one, as are the restaurants inside the hotel. The hotel has a sexy upscale vibe. Get a balcony room overlooking the Bellagio Fountains. We sprung for it and don't regret it. If you are looking forward to the pools though, I'd...

Just got back from Vegas - was my wife's first time, also took our 15 year old son. We had a great time, although the gluttony gets to be a bit much. We stayed at the Cosmopolitan - got a room that overlooked the Bellagio fountains and it was awesome. Hotel itself has a sex heavy vibe but...

I'm not familiar with this bridge intimately, but 99% of the improvements and modernizations that are done in bridge design is related to traffic flow. I would imagine Baltimore in 2024 is much different than what was anticipated when the originally designed and built the bridge in the late...

I'm a civil engineer and also Exec VP of a steel fabricator that builds bridges. The bridge business as a whole is very busy right now, and there aren't many bridge fabricators in the country. Bridges like this take months and sometimes years to build. Its not a fast process. We are...

DJax - This doesn't seem to be a healthy environment for you. In my line of work, I see it all the time where people get "stuck" and stick out a situation just because it is familiar. This may be even more likely for someone like you who is on the autism spectrum. I see this in my 15-year-old...

I see this and don't disagree with it. This is a very Gen X/Boomer mentality to conflict resolution - rise above it, suck it up and control what you can control. Its not bad advice and likely what I would give and how I would perceive it. Modern psychology encourages you to forgive but set...

when the gaslighted has shown respect to the gaslighter. This is it. When they moved here my wife bent over backwards to welcome them in. Housewarming, cooking, meals, work, etc. to help them here. It may also be a "perceived" unequal power dynamic, where the gaslighter feels superior to the...

This is exactly how we've handled it so far. We have also not only not given them a hard time, we have encouraged them to spend time together as it seems to keep the ex calm.

Nada, my wife and I have zero issues outside of this particular one, which is externally driven and likely temporary.

I see this and agree to an extent. I give a little more grace to my wife who realizes she Fed up and is more than willing to accept her share of the blame, she just doesn't want to be the martyr. For that I have a hard time blaming her. Its not like we don't plan to see my grandparents or my...

You hit the nail exactly on the head, perfectly. My wife has apologized (to me, my parents, and my brother), and said unfortunately this is something ingrained in her and non-negotiable. I am torn because my wife is still very much a part of the family, so why do we have to honor my brother's...

These are two new terms that entered my vernacular the last couple years too, as it has I think for most of American society. "Gaslighting" in Gen X means "picking on" and is more targeted than being generally obnoxious. Finding something snide to say about something someone has done...

My wife can be difficult in that she is incapable of ignoring an issue, or even just shelving it. She hits it head on, works through it and then moves on. That works as long as the other person is also willing to hit it head on and has a mutual interest in resolving it. For us that has...

Thanks for the thoughtful feedback. The last line is most poignant and we are more than willing to do that. My wife is locked in that she wants the same in return. Its a little different with her in that given her childhood past (rough home life including physical abuse) she is literally...

No doubt that the leaving of messenger was the pivotal point that started all this. There was alot of buildup to it though. Ex Wife would gaslight current wife throughout any get together. Subtle, but there, to an extent we were often left with "did she really say that" Ex wife would show up...