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  1. So here's the thing. Everything the guys say in the dating thread is true. If you are a halfway decent looking guy and have some text game / a sense of humor, the sky is the limit. It's super easy to meet good looking chicks on Tinder, etc. The only limiting factors are time and energy.
  2. She's never been bigger. Seriously, she's gained weight. She does the kid thing when she has the kids and from what I can tell when she doesn't have the kids she just sits at her moms house and eats food.
  3. Not sure what there is to say. Moved out, got a place, worked out temporary shared custody and finances. I'm happier than I have been in a long time. Tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders (cue jokes). I'm smiling and enjoying myself, talking to women, hanging out with friends, and enjoying the time I do have with my kids tremendously.
  4. Moved out a couple months ago. Right decision.
  5. Sorry to hear Vegas. Definitely know how you feel. Don't really feel like an update today. Merry Christmas fellow fbg's.
  6. Yet it happens a lot I'm sure. It's scary, even if the probability is not high.
  7. No. I know my MIL has been pushing for her to lawyer up though. The MIL is a big deal here and I'm only just now (within the past month or two) realizing it. why is this a problem? What can she do to you? Just give her daughter advice? She can be the vindictive bug in her ear. Push her towards seeking full custody and throwing thousands of dollars at lawyers instead of compromising. Push her to take everything to court instead of talking through it and figuring out solutions that work for everyone.
  8. Standard can be up to half the length of the marriage, which is 7+ years. She has a job, a good one, but I've always wanted her to work part time so she could spend time with the kids. And up until recently, we didn't have a non-expensive child care solution.
  9. No. I know my MIL has been pushing for her to lawyer up though. The MIL is a big deal here and I'm only just now (within the past month or two) realizing it.
  10. I'm fine with paying child support. Have always expected it. Alimony, not so much. She makes slightly less per hour than I do, but works 50% time. She has a good job, a good career. But if she doesn't want to ever go back to work and just wants to live off my dime I don't really have a choice. And I don't give a #### if every other weekend is the default for other people, I'm not ok with it. I'm a good dad who spends time with and loves his kids. Every other weekend would kill me.
  11. It's a possibility, that's all. I feel like she will want me around them as much as possible, so I don't expect it. I don't want to be in a court battle with it on the line though.
  12. Sorry to hear that. Is this what your attorney told you? That you're screwed financially and will probably not have as much custody of your children as you would want? Seems pretty punitive to me, but I don't know the state you live in....maybe where you live, it's like that. How did you settle on this attorney? Referral? Phone book? 1-800 DIVORCE? IMHO, try to get more than one introductory consultation with an attorney. Some will charge you but many will offer a free hour to discuss options. Good luck. No, he didn't say that. Just my interpretation of talking over all the options. Financially I could be on the hook for substantial alimony in addition to child support (again, if it went all the way to court). From a custody perspective, if two parents seek primary custody, the judge tends to award a primary and a secondary, which amounts to every other weekend. Based on the prior history (wife staying home half time to take care of the kids) as a primary caregiver, it would be tough to win that battle. Again, I have hope that she would not ever seek to deny me seeing the kids, but you never know once things get emotional. And her mom scares me. She's her only influence, and she can be very bitter. I looked around, found some reviews for this lawyer. He fit my style for the type of person I am comfortable with (more personal, less big corporate lawyer). I really liked him in person. I think he would fight very hard for me and seemed very knowledgeable.
  13. Sorry to hear that. How old are the kids now? What did your lawyer recommend? Oldest is not yet 10. Prior to moving out draft and sign a non-abandonment agreement and attempt to work out the details of the division of assets, custody, child suport, etc. as much as possible. Draft a separation agreement ourselves and hire him to review it or hire him to draft it, up to me. Biggest advice was to talk and work things out as much as possible ourselves. Avoid court/trial as much as possible. Each issue that goes to trial (custody, division of assets, child support/alimony) could cost $5-10k if it goes that far.
  14. Met with a lawyer last week. It was a pretty depressing/sobering day. Financially I'm probably screwed. And if she, or her mom, gets defensive/angry/vindictive I'm probably screwed in respect to the kids. Life.
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