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McGarnicle

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Everything posted by McGarnicle

  1. Showing a little cleavage is how women advertise that they are receptive to mating. This is a real time-saver for the busy executive. The office becomes similar to a produce market, with glistening, heaving melons displayed under fluorescent lights. The businessman picks one up and sniffs it. “Nice”, he says. And he’s right, it is nice. It’s boobs.
  2. Ride the Lightning Ok Computer Pyromania Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols More Songs About Buildings and Food For number six, tough call but I’m going with Aoxomoxoa.
  3. This dirtbag has his compound in the woods about 1/8 mile from my house. Crazy old coot with his grubby little shop selling vintage KKK crap, right in the middle of town next to craft burger joints and dog salons.
  4. Something horrible happened to her on a bike, so that’s why she’s terrified to ride the thing. She didn’t want to hurt her husband’s feelings so she just sucked it up. Soon she became addicted to that adrenaline rush of facing her fears, and other high-risk activities followed. The pills, the random hookups with strangers...but always, the Peloton was there waiting for her afterward. Second act is a bit fuzzy but I’m thinking she definitely ends up shooting the husband. Maybe the daughter grows up to be a Peloton instructor.
  5. I wear it under my sweatpants on long road trips. My wife can’t even hear it if the radio is on.
  6. Would you say that you have any particular favorite type of bird?
  7. Hi CSTU, with the holidays here, things are getting a bit tight. I was wondering if maybe I could borrow a few bucks?

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  9. My landlord discovering I’m actually heterosexual and living in sin with my two young female roommates.
  10. I was deathly terrified of cops from the time I was 3 or 4 years old. I assumed adults got arrested constantly and had to argue themselves out of prison.
  11. Should’ve been Tiger, Fowler, Koepka & Justin Thomas imo. Would be fun to listen to the banter between Tiger and the younger guys, and it would be a lot more competitive.
  12. Anyone else get a little hungry looking at that thing? It kinda looks like a thanksgiving turkey.
  13. Don’t listen to them, eat your romaine. That’s how they get you.
  14. Yeah baby listen, I go to the club once in a while and I won’t be paying with credit cards so I’ll be hauling around wads of 50s mkay cool? My wife hit me over the head with a frying pan just for typing that.
  15. I think with the Kardashians it’s the extravagant wealth, the outfits, the fancy parties, etc. And with the royal family, obviously it’s because they all have big butts.
  16. Springfieldians for Nonviolence, Understanding and Helping.
  17. Here’s the thing, Meemaw. It’s not 1890 anymore. It’s modern day, and women have sex before marriage, and I think we need to celebrate that. And I know in your day, she would be considered a whore. But now, women go out, and they have sex, and they get wild, and they take their tops off, and they have pictures taken of them. And we need to encourage that. That’s part of life!
  18. The girl in the bra represents your mother, the vice-principal is your father, and the lie detector is our nation’s Judeo-Christian tradition. The dream means you are supposed to run for local office, obviously.
  19. It’s interesting. Indonesia is basically Malaysia, especially if you’re an American, and Malaysia had that one plane that disappeared. So this is now TWO Malaysian planes that mysteriously disappeared. Oh thanks for stealing my idea Fat Nick
  20. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind/399356/
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