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fissure man

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Posts posted by fissure man

  1. 2 hours ago, Da Guru said:

    I have said that 3 times.  When my Yellow Lab passed away 5 years ago I said that's it, I can`t take the pain because she was the best dog and I loved that dog to no end.   A couple months later My wife and daughters go to Traverse City in Northern MI for what they said was a girls weekend.  They walk in the house on Sunday night with an 8 week old Yellow Lab puppy.

    I was so pissed that I acted like I did not want or like the puppy.  Within one day I was carrying her around like a child. As I type she is laying under my desk with her head on my foot.  I don`t know what I would do without her.    Now she is the best dog ever

    You’re right which is why I hope she doesn’t get one. 

  2. 23 minutes ago, That one guy said:

    Cremation, if available, is the best option.  I’ve done the dig a few times and relate to the added emotional toll.  You get your dog “back” and they stay home forever with cremation.  I’m enough of a sap that occasionally I’ll catch the urn out of the corner of my eye and have to stop and say “hi baby...I miss you”

    I fell for that cremation trick the first time. You options are basically - do want us to throw your dog in a pile of other pets, freeze your dog or buy this beautiful little magic wooden urn with a gold nameplate. That emotional tug on my heartstrings cost me $599!!!!

    In all seriousness I have found that the process of digging the hole is extremely therapeutic. It’s a lot of work, swearing at god and crying, but it really speeds up the grieving process. We have a good amount of land. I’ve buried them all next to each other (including the first one we got cremated when his buddy passed). 

  3. As an adult, I’ve raised and buried 4 dogs. Stella, my 5th will be my last. Just can’t bare the pain again. Stella is hands down the best dog I’ve ever had and it’s not close. 

    My wife wants a lab after Stella passes. (Stella is a Presa Canaria and doesn’t get along with other dogs) I’ve told her that she can get whatever she wants as long as she understands that I want nothing to do with it. I especially will not participate in taking the dog to the vet so they can put it down, I won’t dig the hole to bury it. I’m only doing it one more time. 

  4. I suggest taking off of work for two weeks. That might seem like crazy talk but it’s not when you consider that you’re essentially raising a baby. 

    The other tip is to only hand feed the puppy for the first 6 months but be sure to give a command each time. 

    Ive raises 3 labs, a pit bull mix and a Presa Canario this way and all of them obeyed my every command.

    • Thanks 1
  5. 1 hour ago, mr. furley said:

    i'll give the XFL credit for their apparent massive payouts to sports media for favorable coverage of the product.

    so many sports talking heads saying they loved the games, they're hooked "because there are guy's names you recognize".


    "if there were lesser quarterbacks playing i might turn the channel but you had me hooked when i saw Landry Jones (not starting) facing off against Brogan Roback!"


    "give me that classic battle of coaching legends Bob Stoops vs. Jonathan Hayes and my eyes are locked on that game!"


    NFL fans complain that the NFL is watered down, the talent pool is too thin, the game isn't safe.. but then tune in to watch games where the starters are guys who washed out of the bottom of NFL rosters in summer after middling college careers.. which is run by Vince McMahon who famously churns & burns human beings in the WWE?

    Nobody is complaining about this 

    • Like 1
  6. 38 minutes ago, Charlie Steiner said:

    My dad was 25 when I was born, so that was always the benchmark for me growing up. I blew right past 25, 26,27,28, 29 and when I hit 30 I told myself that if I wasn't at least with the woman I was going to marry by the time I hit 35 I was going to be a bachelor for the rest of my life.  I promptly met my wife, married her and by the time I hit 35 I had 2 kids and the third (last) one on the way.  I felt like at 32/33 I was getting a late start, but as it turned out, I reconnected with several people from my old neighborhood/HS and they too had started around the same time, so there was a small group of us who were the same age and whose kids were the same age. There were also a couple of dads a good 8-10 years older than me with kids my kids' age, and I marveled them for their parenting skills.  It had also helped that for both of them, these kids were from 2nd marriages and they also had adult age kids, so I think for them, having a second round of kids energized them or at least made them feel that since they had been through it once, the second time around would be easier and they would have some insight they didn't have the first time.

    Conversely, the parents of one of the kids I grew up with didn't have kids until they were near the end of child bearing years (IIRC, the mom was in her 40's when he was born, and either late 30's or 40's as well when his older brother was born), and the dad was at least in his 50's when my friend was born, and while the mom was sweet as can be to all us kids in the neighborhood (and why not, she was as old as our grandmothers), the dad was old school and didn't care/know anything about 'modern' parenting. The older brother was unabashedly his favorite (one Christmas, he got a $2000 electric piano/organ, and my friend got electronic Battleship and repairs to his bicycle), and was otherwise such a curmudgeon that he embarrassed my friend to the point the other kids in the neighborhood (I admit me as well, but to a lesser extent. Not that it really matters and may have been even worse) teased him mercilessly as well. Saddest part is this kid was arguably the smartest kid I grew up with but so socially awkward that he ended up being his own worst enemy.

    Having said all of that, I think the "pros" and "cons" are meaningless as long as you understand and stick to your role and responsibilities as a parent.  My experience has been that it's a crapshoot in the end and you have to figure out what each kid needs from you, and sometimes even that isn't enough; just love them the best you can anyway and keep figuring out how to do that better.

    You left the most enticing part out - so what happened to your friend? 

  7. I’m 42 and have 15 & 13 girls. The wife and I recently discussed how grateful we are to have had them early as we couldn’t even imagine having the energy to keep up with little ones now. Im not sure there is anything that can prepare you for the hell that teenagers bring.

    Speaking as a young parent I’ll list them from my perspective:

    Pros -

    Mo-energy, mo-energy, mo-energy. 

    Can relate/understand the kids better

    If healthy, the second half of my life will be so much fun. Kids will be out of the house, the house will be paid off and the 401k/pensions will be fat. 

    Cons -

    Due to not being even close to your highest earning potential there can be financial struggles which can strain the marriage. This likely means less or even no exotic traveling or purchasing all the fun things you want. 

    Other parents aren’t that accepting. I’m not sure why. Maybe they view my wife and I as a different generation or there’s some other reason. Doesn’t bother us too much but it’s something we’ve noticed. 

    The other moms are old. :yucky:

  8. 1 hour ago, Jayrok said:

    Liking this so far. 

    Didn't care much for all the interviews as soon as a guy walks off the field.. they're not doing it as much on Fox, though.

    ABC got a couple of F Bombs because of it.  And one "it hurts like a mother-######" when the QB hurt his ankle.

    They either need to get the mic out of everyone's face or do a 5 second delay like the MTV music awards. 

    Like the rules and the fact that they don't throw flags after every play 


    Agreed. They let us hear a little too much. Felt like they were intruding a few times too.

     The constant barking at the line of scrimmage by the DC QB was giving me a headache. Had to turn it down and then I fell asleep. :lmao: 

  9. 1 hour ago, Chaos Commish said:

    I lied to my daughter for 18 year about never doing drugs. I figured lying was a better example than having her think her dad was a druggie (could be wrong about that). It made drugs taboo for her. I smoked pot a half dozen times in those 18 years (she never knew), and she often tells others she's only seen her dad drunk twice.

    Anyway, off to college at 18 she became very weed curious. It's legal at 21. The law allows us to grow three plants, which has turned into a competition at UCLA. From what she knew it was better than drinking. I figured she was already lightly using but not in a worrisome way. She's grounded. I am proud of her progress.

    Home last summer, she was again talking about weed too much for comfort. So I made a call and had someone roll me a joint and we smoked together. It was fun. We laughed so much but the whole time I lectured her about habits and addiction. She wants to get high every now and then, I have nothing to say. She starts becoming a pothead and she's gonna need two jobs. Now if I want some, she's my connect. That might not go over well with some of you but what @ChiefD said:

    It's everything to me. This approach has made her someone I'm not worried about. She is always designated driver when they go out. Hates booze. Loves sobriety. Smokes a little weed at home late at night sometimes. Like me now. And because we talk about it honestly, I think we will both be okay. 


    A little all over. First you lied about using it but then state that honesty is whats most important but I catch your drift and don't judge you one bit. Every kid is different and were all just trying to do the best we can. I know I am. 

    You sound a little like my neighbors and its served them well.  Again, no judgment but I won't smoke with my kids. (Maybe when theyre in their 40s or something but thats different). I just wanna keep some boundaries in place. 

    • Like 1
  10. 2 hours ago, Judge Smails said:

    I’m sort of old school on this.  Just because it’s easily available you don’t make it easy for them to do anything at 15. Would you permit her to drink? “ok to have it as long as it’s in front of us”? I’ve seen how that works out. 

    Biggest gift you can give her is the power to say no. “When you’re an adult its your choice but until then I’m responsible for you and it’s not allowed.  Tell your friends “no thanks, my parents drug test me”. I was perfectly OK with me being the perceived bad guy. But it eliminated peer pressure to do drugs and my kids were still “popular” (athletes, etc). By the way I never drug tested them. It was just a way for them to say no. Did my son still bounce off the walls one time after drinking Sailor Jerry at a party when he was a sophomore? Did he try pot? Yep. And I didn’t come crashing down on him when he did it. It was just a teaching/Dad moment.  I didn’t expect them to be perfect. For the most part our kids (son + 2 girls) made great decisions. I think our stance helped them do that  Especially during those really tough teen years.  

    Like others said her making up bad stories about the family is the most concerning. You sort of dismissed the part of them seeing you and the wife fight. Could that be part of it? Your modeling normal for them. Not saying you and the wife shouldn’t have disagreements or fights, but never in front of the kids. Unless you want that in their relationships. Sorry if that sounds preachy.  May not have anything to do with it. Sounds like pure attention seeking but something to think about. 

    A lot of focus on her looks. I would challenge her to be even more beautiful on the inside than the outside. 

    Sounds like a normal teen trying to figure things out and fit in. Not easy. Good luck. 


    Thanks Smalls, all good advice. I do like the angle of giving them the out by saying that we drug test them. Helps them have a weapon against peer pressure w/o them being "chicken".

    As for the fighting.... not preachy and I want to hear your thoughts. I wasn't like this a few years ago but I love criticism now and invite it. I tend to be pretty oblivious to things so its good to hear honest, thought provoking ideas. . .... The wife and I got married very young. Im Irish/German, shes Uruguayan/Cuban. We're both powder kegs but we also love each other with the same passion. Like most young parents we certainly made a lot of mistakes along the way but we're super open and honest with the girls. We explain to them that yes we fight from time to time but so do most parents. In the end we will ALWAYS have each others back. We make a good team and the girls know and feel it.  I wasn't always sure, but I think we've been a good example of what a marriage is and what it takes to make it work. 

    We're going to have a talk with the daughter about the attention stuff this weekend. We've already broached the weed convo and it went really well. We'll dive deeper into that this weekend but we will also look into counseling. 

    The looks stuff was really just a stab at what could be causing the attention stuff. Just spit-balling for theories on why shes making stories up. . I think she is just a sweet kid inside and wants to be liked. She gets A LOT of "hate" from other girls and I think that might be her focus. She can't handle the responsibility of being one of the more attractive kids.  I know it sounds superficial but I'm just trying to view it from the prism of what other HS kids see her as. again, just kinda throwing ideas around. 


    • Like 1
  11. 3 hours ago, -fish- said:

    My 15 year old wants a nose ring.  I'd rather she just rip a bong hit.


    So about 10 years ago my SIl called me for advice about her daughter, my niece. We'll call her Sara. Sara wanted a tongue ring. I asked her mother, "How are Sara's grades?" "All A's", my SIL replied. She also did all her chores and was pretty much the perfect kid. I suggested that my SIL say "yes", but with one condition. Sara had to wait 6 months. If she still wanted the tongue 6 months later, she could get it. 

    6 months later Sara wanted nothing to do with the tongue ring. Years later Sara told me that she was so thankful that I told her to wait and she was glad she never went through with it. It was one of my proudest moments. 

    • Like 2
  12. So the weed thing it sounds like the best course of action would be:


    - Show her the effects on her developing brain. Check, I just printed out two - one page, easy to read and concise articles. 

     - Explain how it could impact her studies, future employment/earning potential and athletics

    -Reiterate the real life examples of others drug use and the impact on their current lives. 

    - DONT

    -Threaten her with punishment

    - knock her upside the head




  13. 11 minutes ago, otb_lifer said:

    my daughter has had the teaching experience of knowing 2 of her uncles passed at very young ages (my brother at 31, gf's brother at 34) from ODs. 

    she also has been told of how daddy's mixups with drugs and alcohol wreaked so much havoc (i still can't legally drive).

    she is profoundly affected by these "lessons" ... and she has our complete trust, and us, her's.  she has even come and told us that she sometimes leaves an event or get together or hang because substances were being introduced ... she doesn't bolt at the sight, but she knows better than to stick around too long. 

    now, this doesn't necessarily mean that i'm laboring under some false sense of security - daddy's too ####in' smart for that, but i'm felling pretty blessed that we have a level headed kid who's willing to listen.  

    I think that helps. I know a guy who comes from a family full of addicts and this dude to this day wont even take an aspirin.



    My little brother OD'd and her 21/year old uncle just got kicked out of the Marines for doing coke at a strip club and somebody recorded them. Hes going into the brig as I type this. Hopefully those are two examples we can lean on. 

    • Like 1
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