15 y/o daughter is asking about weed. Says she may want to try it. “Everyone is doing it”.
I have two girls, 13 & 15. They’re great kids. Both play sports and take dance classes. We are very involved parents. We talk about difficult subjects and try to be as honest as we can with them at all times.
So this morning my wife tells me the 15 y/o is asking about weed. My first reaction is to scream and tell her she’s an f’n idiot but obviously I don’t. (I do tell that to the wife and then settle into what we should actually do).
Background on the daughter:
- Incredibly neat and organized. Like, has almost every iPhone/pad/pod charger she’s ever received n their boxes and only uses one at a time until it breaks. Unused shoes and clothes. Like OCD types stuff but doesn’t have a conniption fit if you mess it up.
Equally great with money. Likes nice things but unwilling to use her money on them. On the flip side, she won’t allow us to spend a lot on her either. Unless it’s on sale she doesn’t want it. I think she has almost $2k saved.
Super gross to say this as a Dad but she’s more attractive than your average girl. All the boys chase her and all the girls hate her.
Hard worker in both school and sports. She takes forever to do her homework but she will sit down and take however long it takes to finish and not complain. In basketball or track, she’s has al the stuff you can’t teach. Passion, heart, toughness. She has the Mamba mentality.
So overall she’s a wonderful person. With that said, she does have some odd.... quirks....
Struggles a little socially in that she seems to be craving attention. If people show her attention she will gravitate towards them, good or bad. She seems to have too much (imo) empathy for people who make poor decision.
We’ve had various issues in the past with others bullying her on social media, calling her an attention whore. (4 classmates were sent home for the last 2 months of their graduation 8th grade class).
She lies. The wife has found texts and Snapchat conversation where she makes up the most unbelievable stories. They all seem to have the same theme of her having a bad home life. She tells people things like her parents are separated or that me or her mother are in jail. Weird stuff.
Look, I won’t suggesting we’re the best parents ever but we do the best we can, we talk with our kids. We try to lead by example. We tel them we love them and hug them daily. We sit down for dinner every night. We have family movie nights. The kids have nice rooms, clothes and we make them healthy lunches everyday and we still put napkins with cartoon drawings or motivational quotes daily. The wife and I are both... animated? We fight hard b it we also love hard. We’re open with our kids that even though mommy and daddy fight sometimes, that’s pet of marriage and we still love and care about each other fiercely. We joke and laugh a lot. I would describe us as a colorful and loving, normal family.
Ok, I think I’ve rambled enough...
So we’re going to sit her down and talk about it tonight... So far the talking points we have are:
- How she’s still growing and her body and brain aren’t fully developed.
- It’s still illegal. She’s expressed interest in law enforcement/FBI/CIA type stuff.
- Sports - she could get tested.
-She’s mentioned in the past how she absolutely HATES the (laughing?) has the orthodontist/dentist has given her the once or twice that’s happened.
- How it will Impact her little sister. Does she think her sister should try drugs and how would that make her feel.
Penalties for trying drugs:
- No more allowance (but chores still required)
-Lose her phone
-no drivers license or use of our vehicles in the future
Like I said, this is fresh so that’s just me spitballing. Would really appreciate any and all advice. Criticism is also welcome with open arms.
Please and thanks in advance.