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Shooter McGavin

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Everything posted by Shooter McGavin

  1. Yeah, this shtick has run its course. I like the cat, though.
  2. Hey weirdo lady, Unless you were packing a tiger in that box that you were loudly taping for 15 minutes, I don't think it's getting out. 30 layers of tape ought to do it. Praising Jeebus for inventing headphones, SM
  3. I keep expecting to see one of my coworkers to post about the annoying #### I do here. Though I'm nowhere near a dysfunctional as the rest of these freaks.
  4. Dear Chickstache, Honestly, how do you expect me to listen to anything you're saying when that small animal looks ready to attack at any time? There's a reason I don't look directly at you. Waxily, SM
  5. Dear old and unattractive ladies, Hearing you lusting over the ripped guys in the "300" movie is enough to bring the vomit to the back of my throat. Please don't make me envision you horny. Heavingly, Shootah
  6. Dear Dramatic Lady, You didn't follow through the first dozen times you went nuts and said you couldn't take it anymore and you were leaving. Why do you think anyone would take you seriously this time? Buck up, Sparky. SM
  7. Dear dude in the crapper, I don't know what you were up to in there, but anything that sounds that much like jerking off is probably not something you want to be doing at work. Frictionally yours, SM
  8. Dear Lady with the Austin Powers song ringtone, It would have been annoying 5 years ago when the movies were out. What do you think it's like now? Notice how your phone is the only one that rings during the day? The rest of us have figured out that high tech "ringer off" mode on our phones. Crapadelic, SM
  9. Just imagine if GM ever comes back. according to my sources, he's having a nice season, guy.What the hell for? I thought GM was bulletproof and a very important person here.
  10. Dear spelling-challeged e-mailer, "Hirer"? Seriously? I know you meant "higher", but I'm dumfounded about how the "gh" becomes an "r". Yep, my head just essploded, SM
  11. Dear Blackberry Guy, Talking on the phone while you're taking a piss? Seriously? Seriously, SM
  12. Dear Lady who thinks the whole world is against her, It's just a calendar to track vacation time. The CIA is not watching your every move. ####### relax. Shootah
  13. Dear guy who left the forest of pubes on the urinal, Judging by the sheer volume of short and curlies left on the outer edge of the urinal bowl, there are two explanations that I can think of, and both of them are quite disturbing. Either you have a nasty case of male pattern baldness in your pants, or you're some perverse kind of Johnny Appleseed plucking the beard in your BVDs and garnishing urinals throughout the building with your pants parsley. Scrotally yours, SM
  14. Shooter,Why would anyone want to sue my genitalia?Not typographically challenged,The Engineer.
  15. Dearest Electrical Engineer who can't work the copier: Congrats on being good at exactly one thing in what I imagine is your lonely, lonely life. I know it's a lot to expect that you be able to work with all that crazy ### lab equipment you have AND be able to understand the vagaries of a piece of technology that has been standard in offices for at least 20 years. I hope you get a paper cut on your unsued genitalia that gets infected and the thing falls off. Mimeographically yours, SM
  16. Congratulations, this has been added to my list of aliases in the event I ever create an aliasI'm glad I could leave my mark somewhere. Even if it is scatalogical terminology.
  17. :banned:I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. On some level, he's eating fecal vapor.
  18. Isn't it a holiday of some sorts today? Damn presidents.
  19. The best IT thinking I ever saw was at a former job where they disabled the speakerphone option on all the desk phones in cube-ville. You had dorks with headsets on all day, but that was much better than having to listen to some self-important d-bag listening to his voicemail at top volume.
  20. Dear Drama Queen, There is no way in hell the onions from my salad are so strong that they are causing your eyes to water. They were chopped 5 hours ago. Yours in Christ, S to the M
  21. Dear people talking about their children/grandchildren/anyone they know under the age of 16,I don't give a #### about your children or what they are doing. And their pictures? If I don't want to hear about them, what makes you think that I want to see pictures of them doing "cute" things? Your children are ugly, just like you. You combine two steaming piles of crap, and you're expecting a rose to result?No, I don't have kids, and I don't have any plans to have them. I don't really think I should have to explain the reasons for that. It's none of your ####### business. I like having my own interests. Your kids are not one of them. Please shut the your cake hole.Love and kisses,SM :blush:The quote was because your post just reminded me of another thing in the office that annoys me. Nothin' personal
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