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Tom Skerritt

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Everything posted by Tom Skerritt

  1. Just do a new weekly injury thread each week. Jesus this place freaking weird. Why is joe so hell bent on doing it his way? And really, you’ve never heard of “the inmates running the asylum”?
  2. I was always partial to Blues for Allah, but American Beauty is so great.
  3. I got suspended for “trolling”. All I did was quote a line from the road trip bus scene. When Nuke is singing “She may get wooly. Young girls they do get wooly.” And I quoted this line, albeit in a more sarcastic context “GD I hate people that get the words wrong!” My best guess is that the genius moderator was not aware that it was an actual quote from the movie.
  4. Wow. Very similar to my family. My brother is a year older than I am. He has a son and a daughter like I do, though they are each a few years older than my kids. My brother and his family also live in the same city as my dad and stepmom. However despite living in the same city, my father is not very involved with them either. I think that it’s certainly more involved than with mine due to geography, but I wouldn’t call them close. In fact, when I confronted my father the other day, he even mentioned the fact that he is not close with my brother and his family. As if that should make me feel better, or perhaps explain his lack of involvement in general. I told my father that I thought that was pretty weird too. But obviously I have no control over that. Like you though, I see my father engaged with my stepmom’s family. I see that he is capable of being involved. Though I’m not so sure he enjoys it. But he’s there. So like you, it is hard to see that it is possible, but to not be able to have that for me and my family can be challenging to reconcile. And also like you, my stepmom said to me that my father is so proud of me, my wife, and my kids. It would nice to actually hear that from him directly.
  5. YES! For ####’s sake. My apologies. Seems obvious to me, but perhaps it didn’t come across that way. I have pictures from that trip of them holding her.
  6. You guys are reading way too much into this. Probably not a good idea to hold the baby now. Let’s wait a minute until she feels more comfortable. That’s it. That’s all it was. The fact that it resonated so strongly with my stepmother after 15 years was weird. All I am saying.
  7. If you know for a fact that the outcome of this will 100% be a freakout meltdown by the baby? Are you serious? You don’t think that maybe a better idea would be to just hang out until the kid is more comfortable? That’s all I was saying.
  8. I’m sure we did. I might have said that initially, but it wasn’t like “you can’t hold her now and forever.” And come on. Just give it a minute. It may take a day. It may take longer. Maybe if you spent some time with her, she will feel more comfortable. Maybe if you were here 6 months ago. I think you’re missing the point. How would that be a reason to not want to get to know your grandkid? And why put the blame on me or a 6 month old baby. If anything, it should tell you that developing relationships take time and effort. Whatever. I thought it was a weird defense.
  9. It’s a vaccine. Just like the flu vaccine. Just like measles, mumps, rubella. People need to get over themselves, listen, and learn. Tired of having to dumb this down for people who don’t want to deal with the truth.
  10. I did want to share this little nugget from the conversation with my stepmother. After we talked about the major issue, she said she was surprised, had no idea I felt this way, etc. And then she went into defense mode to try and explain their behavior. And the first line of defense was to essentially blame my daughter from when she was a 6-month old infant. Stepmom said [paraphrasing] “Do you remember when we first came down to meet her, and you said that you cannot hold her because she will freak out?” My dad and stepmom did not come down to see their granddaughter until she was around 6 months old. Now by that time, she had some personality, and she was able to recognize people, and feel safe with those she knew. And she would be afraid of strangers. As any ####### infant baby would!! But for some reason, my stepmom thought this is a legitimate reason for not being more of a presence in our lives. As if to say that they didn’t want to be a presence because my 6-month old daughter didn’t like them. It was so weird. I had to call bull#### on that, and after thinking more about it later, it was just such a weird exchange. I still can’t make any sense of it.
  11. Yeah this is pretty messed up. I’m sorry. I’m that you carry this stuff with you every day. And I can empathize with doing everything in your power to be the better person. In spite of not being a priority to my family, I always made every effort to be involved for them and their life events. I made visits for birthdays, and holidays, etc., or for no other reason than simply to see them and spend time with them. Though in your case, I would say #### it! And #### you! Thanks for sharing. Best of luck.
  12. Someone’s breaking into your house, you gonna stop and frisk them before you try to stop them? Got it.
  13. An armed insurrection is about to breach senate chambers, and you feel as though he should have let them come through?
  14. I would like to hear your story if it’s not any trouble. Sorry to hear. It sucks. I know how you feel. And thanks for sharing.
  15. Good question. I think it’s important for them to know that their family cares about them. That they are interested in their lives. I’m sure there are many kids (myself included) who never had a relationship with a grandparent. It happens, and life goes on. I’m not hoping for a miracle or anything. But I see some incredible bonds and meaningful relationships built between grandparents and grandkids. I guess I would like for my kids to experience that with my father. You’re right. My father may be incapable of doing this. But I have to try. I would hate myself if he died, and I never said anything and I never tried. And sorry about your tale of woe. That’s pretty ####ed up.
  16. Cannot like this enough. Took me 15+ years to forgive my mother, and it is one of the best things I have ever done. I was holding on to so much anger for so long. Unfortunately my brother has not been able to do the same. And he does his best to compartmentalize it and store it away. But it cannot be good to hold onto all of that stuff. But I get it. Been there.
  17. Good question. It has been mentioned by others. My kids are great kids. Very mature. I was just telling my wife the other day that it pleases me that my kids are the ones all of the other parents are comfortable having a normal conversation with them. Not a superficial perfunctory one, but a real one. It is very normal for them, and they can hold their own. It’s not forced. It’s genuine. My kids have great relationships with my mother and with my wife’s parents. They are all different relationships in many ways, but they are very deep and meaningful. In fact, my son made a special trip to visit them before he went off to college last year. He knew he was going to be away for awhile, and he essentially wanted to pay his respects and tell them goodbye and thanks for everything. He knew he owed them that. He’s an amazing thoughtful kid. So proud of him. Now as for my father, they don’t have that relationship. It was always one-sided, or ships passing so to speak. So there not really anything there. I think that if my dad had made any effort, it would be different. But he didn’t, and it’s not. And it makes me sad.
  18. My dad will be 78 later this year. My step mom is about 10 years younger. She has been my step mother for about 30 years now. Sounds like you did not have a great relationship with your father. I’m sorry about that. Though sounds like your stepdad has fulfilled the role quite well. One of the reasons this bothers me as much as it does is because I have always felt so close to my dad. Still do. He was never a man of many words, but we had/have a bond. I always admired him. He was strong. He was responsible. He worked hard. He was there for me when he could be. He was/is my hero. He has his faults for sure. But he is a good man. I want this good man that I know to take an interest in my family. My step mom said that he cares about us very much. Is very proud of me and my wife. Cares about my kids. The problem is that we never hear that from him. He never shares these feelings with my kids. And I think that he should. I would be more mad if he didn’t do this before he dies. And again, all I ask is that he make the smallest effort. A simple text to say hey. Just let them know that you’re thinking about them.
  19. I spoke to my step-mom this morning. It was a good conversation. I first wanted her to know that I do not blame her for any of this. This is about me and my father. But she said that she and my father are both surprised by all of this. They had no idea that I have been hurt by this for so long. But she validated my feelings and appreciates that I am being honest. I guess that I excused their lack of involvement for so long, that they just assumed everything was fine. And I can’t blame them for that. That’s my fault. On the good side, she asked what they can do going forward. She also asked if it’s too late. I told her that I’m doing this because I don’t want it to be too late. And so now we need to figure out how to make amends. This will be hard too, but they obviously feel bad and want to make things better. I could hear her getting weepy, so I ended the conversation and said “I love you”. She suggested that I give my dad some time to process all of this, and we should talk again in a couple of days.
  20. Yeah, my dad is not a serial philanderer. He is not an #######. I think my father is damaged, immature, and scared. My wife has called him a coward multiple times. He was never able to have difficult conversations. He was never able to show love. We never really hugged or said “I love you” until I was in my mid to late 20’s. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that he ignored my kids. But I would say that he has not made an effort to have a relationship with them. Your situation sounds tougher than mine. One thing that this thread had provided is some perspective. Thank you for that, and I wish you the best.
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