I don't do predictions, but wanted to have some fun. With tongue firmly in cheek, here is what my crystal ball is showing me:
W1: @ NE W - By halftime NE is getting beaten so badly they change gears and honor Jalen Hurts instead of Brady.
W2: MIN (TNF) W - Leading up to the game, Reagor vows to show what the Eagles missed out on by trading him. He proceeds to drop two TD passes and muffs a punt, indeed showing the Eagles what they're missing out on.
W3: @ TB (MNF) W - Baker Mayfield? Seriously?
W4: WSH W - Fun fact: Since Snyder took over the team has had more names than playoff wins.
W5: @ LAR W - Eagles fans take over the stadium, parking lot, and a good portion of Hollywood prompting the immediate greenlight of three more Rocky sequels.
W6: @ NYJ W - Rodgers begins to wonder if it's too soon to throw his teammates and coaches under the bus or if he should just retire and chase his true passion, starting a conspiracy theory podcast.
W7: MIA (SNF) W - I just feel bad for Tua.
W8: @ WSH W - The new ownership decides the Commanders is a really stupid name and let attending fans decide a new one. Unfortunately for them, it's another Eagles takeover. They are now the Washington ********s. Still less offensive than Redskins.
W9: DAL W - Someone is injured on Dallas and is the reason they lose, or so we'll be told repeatedly.
W10: Bye bye bye, BYE BYE!
W11: @ KC (MNF) W - The KC grounds crew tries it's best to recreate the Super Bowl turf. It backfires horrible as Shady comes out of retirement and is the only player to get any kind of traction. He ends the days with 235 rushing yards and 5 touchdowns.
W12: BUF W - Real talk, I like the Bills. Feel bad for them. They give me a real Philly vibe with the tough breaks they've had since '90. Fortunately, the Eagles don't give a crap about that and pick off Allen 4 times.
W13: SF W - The Niners Super Bowl! Despite a valiant performance by current Hall of Famer Brock Purdy, his 196 yards, 1 TD and 3 ints isn't enough and he falls just short by 35 points.
W14: @ DAL (SNF?) W - Hurts decides to sit this one out to even the playing field. Mariota leads the team to victory with 4 rushing touchdowns. Opposing fans complain about the 1950's college offense that they are completely unable to stop.
W15: @ SEA W - After already playing in KC, the Eagles laugh at the 12th man BS and overcome the piped in crowd noise. Also, are we really buying the Geno Smith late blooming?
W16: NYG (Xmas Monday) W - Sirianni tells the team it's the Giants' fault they're playing on Christmas. Danny Dimes earns his nickname by taking 10 sacks.
W17: ARI (NYE) W - Hurts completes over 80% of his passes. Enduring a double digit loss season, Gannon lies during his post-game presser, doing his best to convince everyone that they had a good season and are playoff-bound. He makes up stories about how it's just the fans and media being mean to him. He's fired immediately after the game and asked to stay in Philly. Philly politely declines.
W18: @ NYG W - Giants need a win to make the playoffs. Eagles refuse to rest their starters to remain perfect despite clinching the one seed weeks ago. Giants complain for months and the irony is lost on them.
They go on to win the Super Bowl and the remaining '72 Dolphins are forbidden from ever drinking champagne again.