ADHD in children (1 Viewer)

[That one guy]

Anyone have experience with ADHD and/or anxiety diagnosis and treatment with children under 10?

Wife and I are in lengthy process of getting evaluation with pediatric psychiatrist group to determine ADHD/anxiety/both with our now 7yo and then discuss those results with her main psychiatrist and potential medicinal approach.

After a couple years of absolute heart ache and heart break, we finally gave in and admitted life for her wasn’t normal, our issues and problems weren’t that of an energetic child.  She survived kindergarten mainly because her teacher was a saint with immense patience and years of experience.  She agreed with our quiet thoughts, ADHD but not at the point where it was disruptive to her learning.  First grade is a different story and her ability to concentrate on class, hope life, play at the park, anything is just a struggle.  She’s smart, capable, funny, but completely unable to focus, keep eye contact, have conversations that remain linear, self play…her emotional intelligence either seems to be retreating or just not keeping pace with her friends.  At home it’s a constant fight, she won’t/can’t do what she’s told whether it’s because she refuses to cooperate or loses focus and finds herself doing something else if you’re not directly on her.  And the most painful aspect is after wild days/nights full of fighting and being told no so much she cries and talks about how she’s the worst and doesn’t feel like herself and wishes she wasn’t here.

There’s significant push back from the wife with regards to medicine, every time I think she’s back to being on board we’re back to “don’t want to zombie-fy” our child and what about food dyes and gluten?!  I don’t want to “drug” our child either but damn if I don’t hate any conversation that starts with a “I found this on google”.

My main question to those reading is if you have experience with current medicinal prescriptions for either ADHD or anxiety and what you think of them and the outcome with child.  Any research you encountered during the process I could look to.  Anything else you think would be useful information 

 

[Doug B]

Anyone have experience with ADHD and/or anxiety diagnosis and treatment with children under 10?

My college freshman daughter was 9 when she was diagnosed and started her ADHD treatment. Finding the proper medicinal treatment made all the difference -- it's likely that the first or second treatment and/or dosage won't work right. You all will have to keep plugging away at it over those first several months. Not all ADHD medicines are the same and they are not interchangeable.

Also, there are time-release versions of medicines that act differently from the regular version -- for example, Concerta is the time-release version of the better-known Ritalin. Concerta lasts longer and provides a steady, level dose over several hours after taking one dose in the morning. A child on Ritalin might have to take one in the morning and then another one mid-day at school or something like that.

Regarding "zombification" -- I had the same concerns as your wife, though I was willing to take the plunge after seeing how much our daughter was struggling. Zombification can happen, but it is considered a "fail" for the treatment. Doesn't matter if your child starts making straight As and crushing her piano lessons, or whatever ... if that success comes at the cost of natural emotional responses to things happening in her life, work with her doctor/therapist to adjust her treatment regimen. Successful ADHD treatment does not and should not blunt your child's personality, even when such blunting often makes things easier on us parents.

Ask anything -- either in this thread or via PMs.

 

[Kal El]

I have ADHD, as does my middle daughter, and I wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult, but she showed symptoms early on. To that end, occupational therapy has helped her, however I used medicine for mine, since I found out so late. If you can find a good therapist, I suggest going for it.

 

[That one guy]

My college freshman daughter was 9 when she was diagnosed and started her ADHD treatment. Finding the proper medicinal treatment made all the difference -- it's likely that the first or second treatment and/or dosage won't work right. You all will have to keep plugging away at it over those first several months. Not all ADHD medicines are the same and they are not interchangeable.

Also, there are time-release versions of medicines that act differently from the regular version -- for example, Concerta is the time-release version of the better-known Ritalin. Concerta lasts longer and provides a steady, level dose over several hours after taking one dose in the morning. A child on Ritalin might have to take one in the morning and then another one mid-day at school or something like that.

Regarding "zombification" -- I had the same concerns as your wife, though I was willing to take the plunge after seeing how much our daughter was struggling. Zombification can happen, but it is considered a "fail" for the treatment. Doesn't matter if your child starts making straight As and crushing her piano lessons, or whatever ... if that success comes at the cost of natural emotional responses to things happening in her life, work with her doctor/therapist to adjust her treatment regimen. Successful ADHD treatment does not and should not blunt your child's personality, even when such blunting often makes things easier on us parents.

Ask anything -- either in this thread or via PMs.

Thanks for sharing.

What kind of discussions/information have you had over the years on the topic of “will they grow out of it?”  That’s another area we tend to have arguments on.

I understand my wife is mostly just struggling with admitting something is “wrong” with our daughter and even though she herself has struggled with mental health issues in the past it’s still a difficult conclusion to come to.  I struggled myself, this certainly isn’t a clean process.

What kind of symptoms or struggles did you encounter that led to eventual ADHD diagnosis?  Was anxiety part of the equation for your daughter?

 

[Alex P Keaton]

My college freshman daughter was 9 when she was diagnosed and started her ADHD treatment. Finding the proper medicinal treatment made all the difference -- it's likely that the first or second treatment and/or dosage won't work right. You all will have to keep plugging away at it over those first several months. Not all ADHD medicines are the same and they are not interchangeable.

Also, there are time-release versions of medicines that act differently from the regular version -- for example, Concerta is the time-release version of the better-known Ritalin. Concerta lasts longer and provides a steady, level dose over several hours after taking one dose in the morning. A child on Ritalin might have to take one in the morning and then another one mid-day at school or something like that.

Regarding "zombification" -- I had the same concerns as your wife, though I was willing to take the plunge after seeing how much our daughter was struggling. Zombification can happen, but it is considered a "fail" for the treatment. Doesn't matter if your child starts making straight As and crushing her piano lessons, or whatever ... if that success comes at the cost of natural emotional responses to things happening in her life, work with her doctor/therapist to adjust her treatment regimen. Successful ADHD treatment does not and should not blunt your child's personality, even when such blunting often makes things easier on us parents.

Ask anything -- either in this thread or via PMs.

Similar as Doug B.  Daughter self-diagnosed as ADHD at age 8.   Wife wasn’t ready to admit it so we delayed getting help for 1-2 years (which was painful).  Daughter has been on medication for almost 3 years now.  She’s a great kid.  It’s made a huge difference in every way.  She’s one of the happiest kids now — same kid as before personality-wise, but much more able to participate in the flow of life.

Will write more later, but we had many of the same worries expressed in the OP, and none have really come to fruition.   
 

Like DougB wrote, feel free to ask anything here or via PM.

 

[That one guy]

I have ADHD, as does my middle daughter, and I wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult, but she showed symptoms early on. To that end, occupational therapy has helped her, however I used medicine for mine, since I found out so late. If you can find a good therapist, I suggest going for it.

Interestingly enough, through some personal therapy for myself during covid last year it was suggested to me I might have ADHD.  When comparing things I know about myself and how I approach life/work and issues concerning our daughter, there was a lot of overlap between the two and I just have the benefit of age and experience where it’s not detrimental.  But man, thinking back on schooling and difficulties I had and how I steered myself away from those difficulties, sure makes sense.  I haven’t taken it much further than that and it honestly might be a good idea to take that path along side kiddo so she doesn’t feel alone.  I know she “knows” things are different for her and there’s no way that doesn’t weigh on her internally.  

 

[El Floppo]

Thanks for sharing.

What kind of discussions/information have you had over the years on the topic of “will they grow out of it?”  That’s another area we tend to have arguments on.

I understand my wife is mostly just struggling with admitting something is “wrong” with our daughter and even though she herself has struggled with mental health issues in the past it’s still a difficult conclusion to come to.  I struggled myself, this certainly isn’t a clean process.

What kind of symptoms or struggles did you encounter that led to eventual ADHD diagnosis?  Was anxiety part of the equation for your daughter?

My niece is ADHD with anxiety, and it's been a struggle- for my brother/sil and her.

I think its great you're getting engaged early. We've had a few friends with kids who were very clearly either ADHD or on the spectrum who didn't want to "label" their kids...and tbh, let them suffer through their condition without accepting it or providing support for it- despite being loving and caring parents.

I don't have any answers from having looked in from the outside. my niece is trying to finish college, with the ADHD/anxiety combo making it really hard for her. Her parents got her in to a therapist and on medicine early on...which helps.

My own failings as a parent have always revolved around imposing my own expectations on my kids of how they "should" go about things instead of supporting how they actually go about things. One thing I've seen- again from the outside, but also as parents of kids who had speech/articulation issues early on...there's nothing "wrong" with your daughter; she's perfect. She does have some things in her life- like all of us- that she needs help with. And as her parents, it's clear from your posts you're going to do everything you can to provide that help.

 

[AAABatteries]

No insight here @That one guy but just wanted to say good luck to your daughter.  One thing I will say is for me and my kids health my philosophy is to find a doctor you like and trust and work together as a team for your daughter.  You and your wife will be the best advocate for her but it will make it easier if you are on the same page as the doctor.

 

[El Floppo]

Interestingly enough, through some personal therapy for myself during covid last year it was suggested to me I might have ADHD.  When comparing things I know about myself and how I approach life/work and issues concerning our daughter, there was a lot of overlap between the two and I just have the benefit of age and experience where it’s not detrimental.  But man, thinking back on schooling and difficulties I had and how I steered myself away from those difficulties, sure makes sense.  I haven’t taken it much further than that and it honestly might be a good idea to take that path along side kiddo so she doesn’t feel alone.  I know she “knows” things are different for her and there’s no way that doesn’t weigh on her internally.  

My brother had the exact same thing happen. They both have similar version of it that makes them hyper focus on what they're doing, to the exclusion of essentially everything else around them. I kinda do too. But when they went through that checklist of character traits that described my nieces condition, my bro ticked all the same boxes...and was stunned with the diagnosis.

 

[Doug B]

What kind of discussions/information have you had over the years on the topic of “will they grow out of it?”  That’s another area we tend to have arguments on.

I don't believe people "grow out of" ADHD. We know many adults diagnosed with it. What can happen is that adults can require a different dosage regimen than they did as children. It can be different medicine, less medicine, or MORE medicine. There are also adults who stopped taking their medicines just to see what happens, and they instead just decide to live with the attention/focus problems. For some ADHD adults, they can get by like that. Others can't. It's a very individual thing.
 

I understand my wife is mostly just struggling with admitting something is “wrong” with our daughter and even though she herself has struggled with mental health issues in the past it’s still a difficult conclusion to come to.  I struggled myself, this certainly isn’t a clean process.

Very few people don't have SOMETHING wrong with them. Many are fortunate, however, that they're able to keep their "things wrong" hidden from the world.

If it's important to your wife: as "things wrong" go, ADHD is one of the easiest things to hide from people. There are no outward physical manifestations.
 

What kind of symptoms or struggles did you encounter that led to eventual ADHD diagnosis?  Was anxiety part of the equation for your daughter?

Once school got sufficiently challenging to require real mental effort on her part, she began to break down in school whenever she got frustrated doing her assignments. If she couldn't grasp something immediately, she have fight-or-flight reactions, hide under her desk, have loud disruptive crying jags in class, etc. She would have similar issues at home, many times being unable to sleep because of fits of runaway anxiety.

Anxiety was and still is part of the equation for her. She is prescribed an anti-anxiety medication along with her ADHD medicine to help her deal with anxiety. In recent years, she has attempted a few times to quit taking the anti-anxiety medication to see how she felt without it -- she's gone back to it every time so far. This could change in the future, but it's at best a 50-50 thing.

 

[El Floppo]

And fwiw, my main client right now is a tech guy with ADHD...brilliant, next level dude who clearly has tapped into his condition as a strength and benefit. Meetings are really hard for me to follow because he's all over the place...but his ability to not myopically focus on one things (like me) allows him to look at and consider a ton of things at once, always connected...I just have to work really hard to try to keep up and follow the strings.

And he's not the first insanely successful client I've had like this (I'm an architect). Just to reiterate that an ADHD diagnosis doesn't mean something's "wrong".

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

Similar stories as already stated. 
 

We went the med route that didn’t seem to help. Therapy did help but after she unloaded everything she was thinking and realized she’s not crazy she outgrew the therapy. 
 

She’s a normal hyperactive child. She’s great at art and things she’s interested in and can’t be bothered with stuff she doesn’t enjoy. She is able to balance that out and gets average to good grades but that wasn’t always the choice. 

In our case, both of our daughters essentially lost their kinds from 12-15 and before 16 they got things back together. I think it’s just the normal cycle of growing up. They have so much going on and then their hormones go bonkers. They adjust. 
 

It’s your kid and your decision but I don’t think how they’re wired is supposed to be controlled by medicine. They need to learn how to control themselves. It takes work and patience and lots of discussions and self evaluation. Not exactly easy for a adolescent, much less an adult. 

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

And fwiw, my main client right now is a tech guy with ADHD...brilliant, next level dude who clearly has tapped into his condition as a strength and benefit. Meetings are really hard for me to follow because he's all over the place...but his ability to not myopically focus on one things (like me) allows him to look at and consider a ton of things at once, always connected...I just have to work really hard to try to keep up and follow the strings.

And he's not the first insanely successful client I've had like this (I'm an architect). Just to reiterate that an ADHD diagnosis doesn't mean something's "wrong".

This! I love your takes @El Floppo! 

 

[El Floppo]

I don’t think how they’re wired is supposed to be controlled by medicine. They need to learn how to control themselves. It takes work and patience and lots of discussions and self evaluation. Not exactly easy for a adolescent, much less an adult. 

Good to think this, but every kid/person is different. One of my oldest and best adult friends and my niece have both tried every possible route on/off meds and therapy and both found they legit need the meds to function the way they want to (along with behavioral therapy).

 

[Kal El]

Interestingly enough, through some personal therapy for myself during covid last year it was suggested to me I might have ADHD.  When comparing things I know about myself and how I approach life/work and issues concerning our daughter, there was a lot of overlap between the two and I just have the benefit of age and experience where it’s not detrimental.  But man, thinking back on schooling and difficulties I had and how I steered myself away from those difficulties, sure makes sense.  I haven’t taken it much further than that and it honestly might be a good idea to take that path along side kiddo so she doesn’t feel alone.  I know she “knows” things are different for her and there’s no way that doesn’t weigh on her internally.  

I did well at school, but I got bored very quickly, especially with reading, because I am a fast reader. I noticed this with my daughter, she devours books. 
 

As for her OT, I’ve taken her a few times(my wife has a better schedule to do it more often), and I’ve commandeered some of the techniques she’s learned to use in my own experience, and it’s been a help with me as well. There are times where she gets overwhelmed with stuff, and I’ll sit with her and we’ll talk about what’s bugging her, sometimes we’ll do the exercises she’s learned together, and it’s a good bonding experience. One thing I’ve been very focused on is telling her that there’s nothing wrong with us(despite the “disorder” misnomer), we process information differently than other people, so we are learning to do that in ways that are more effective for us. I’ve also helped my other kids learn how we process stuff, and that affects our behavior. It’s all a learning process.

 

[Pip's Invitation]

My son was diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive at age 9. We first noticed something was very off with how he was able to do schoolwork early on, but it came to a head in second grade when he had a young teacher who didn’t really know what to do with him. Luckily his third grade teacher was a saint and helped us start to navigate the school system. Around the same time we started discussing his issues with his pediatrician, who recommended getting him tested, putting him in play therapy and considering medication.

We got the official diagnosis in the summer between third and fourth grade, and the school gave him an IEP, but couldn’t really implement it with remote learning in a pandemic. He found live Zooms (the district’s only format of remote learning) to be overwhelming. At winter break at the end of 2020, we pulled him out of the district and my wife began home-schooling him. Luckily she was staying at home before then, so this did not cause any job-related disruption.

After a lot of debate we did start him on medication. Generally he takes it on days he does schoolwork and doesn’t on days he doesn’t. And he’s been seeing the play therapist since before the official diagnosis.

Before any of this was addressed, he was having meltdowns over homework almost every night, often interspersed with negative self-talk. He never acted out at school, he’d just bury his head in his desk if he was having problems understanding something. 

Now, with the new schooling format, the medication and the play therapy, he still has meltdowns, but they happen much less often and they are never accompanied by negative self-talk. When he acts out, his language is only about the task at hand, and his former self-esteem issues seem to have gone away. 

It really helps to have professionals you can trust, and we have been lucky with that. Hopefully that will be the case for you and your child as well.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

Good to think this, but every kid/person is different. One of my oldest and best adult friends and my niece have both tried every possible route on/off meds and therapy and both found they legit need the meds to function the way they want to (along with behavioral therapy).

All true - that’s why I said “It’s your kid and your decision but”. Pretty important sentience to exclude. 

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

I understand my wife is mostly just struggling with admitting something is “wrong” with our daughter and even though she herself has struggled with mental health issues in the past it’s still a difficult conclusion to come to.

If your child had diabetes, would she want her to be untreated for a couple of years while your wife had to struggle with there being something wrong with her?  This issue isn't any different.  There's nothing wrong with her.  It isn't some failing on her part.  It isn't a failure on your part.  It just is.

It might help your wife if she could talk to someone for a couple of sessions until she feels a bit better about this.  Good luck.

 

[joey]

If your child had diabetes, would she want her to be untreated for a couple of years while your wife had to struggle with there being something wrong with her?  This issue isn't any different.  There's nothing wrong with her.  It isn't some failing on her part.  It isn't a failure on your part.  It just is.

It might help your wife if she could talk to someone for a couple of sessions until she feels a bit better about this.  Good luck.

This time a billion. Our 11 year old son has ADHD. Identified by his amazing 1st grade teacher and finally tested and officially diagnosed in 2nd grade. Regarding medicine, I was initially hesitant as well but, having a wife with a congenital condition that requires her to take meds every day, she wisely said (similar to the above), if our son had a heart ailment that required meds, we'd be ok with it. But why is it different for having a brain ailment? (Which ADHD basically is). 

we’ve had a VERY challenging transition to middle school with the change from single, amazingly-attentive teachers in elementary school, to multiple teachers with loads more homework in middle school, so we've focused almost entirely on home life (less arguing about homework) and our son's mental state (it’s easy for him to get very down on himself for being "stupid" and "different"). So we basically told our middle school principal, learning specialist and teachers that we don’t care about him doing homework at all. We just want to be sure he’s learning essential concepts in school (e.g. the multiplication, fractions, etc in math are foundational tools in life), so we agreed he’d ONLY take math homework home (and, at that, the assignments were basically cut in half due to his amazing challenges with attention span and focus), we re-hired a tutor (who our son has a history with from 5th grade) and we basically agreed that everything else would need to get done in school in class or in his daily "academic support" class (that students diagnosed with ADHD and have an IEP get to attend to receive the extra help to generally keep up).
 

I could go on forever with all the challenges, ups, downs, arguments, crying, sadness, different medicine attempts over the years.  I will say that it is extremely exhausting, every day is pretty tough for us, and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with in my life (I’ve had it pretty damn good overall, though). The main thing is that you’re not in this alone. There’s help out there, and just knowing that others are going through similar as you is often enough to help muscle through (misery loves company). 

on the flip side, our son is amazingly independent, a great soccer player, loves all living creatures, loves cooking and other hands-on projects, and he is no dummy (too damn shrewd if you ask me  ) so we feel like he will find his way in the long run and be successful at whatever interests him, but he certainly will need our help along the way. That’s what we’re here for.  

Feel free to ask away if I can help at all. 

 

[Ilov80s]

Special Ed teacher here, at the HS level so it’s a bit different. I’ve seen many kids lives dramatically improve with medication and also seen many fall apart when either they or a parent decided to stop medication. It’s not an easy solution. It will often take trying different meds and different levels to find the right balance of effective while limiting the side effects but it is well worth it. Every year or even month that goes by where she’s not able to learn/grow, she is just falling further and further behind her peers. I don’t have any special formula for convincing the wife other than to say if she had some kind of physical ailment (heart condition or immune disorder for example) wouldn’t you give her medication to help? An ailment of the brain is every bit as serious. 

 

[Tom Skerritt]

ADHD is somewhat of a spectrum disorder. A diagnosis is not the same for everyone. Some require medication, others do not. It's a personal decision. The only thing I would recommend would be to start family therapy with someone experienced in this subject. Therapy can help everyone see the bigger picture and help make better decisions. Take it slow. Medication can be a quick-fix solution, but it can also come with serious side effects. If you do choose medication though, please do so under the careful and watchful direction of a competent medical professional.

 

[Grahamburn]

Occupational Therapy and/or Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). 

Then follow through at home. 

 

[That one guy]

I do appreciate all the interaction here, suggestions/advice/stories all noted and considered.  Just to be clear, though I’m positive it wasn’t taken as literal, we don’t think anything is actually “wrong” with our girl, that’s simply the word is used to describe coming to terms with difficulties for her and need for outside intervention (whether that be medicine and/or therapy).  It’s not the easiest conclusion to immediately accept, regardless of hindsight

Our biggest issue now is finding anyone who has available time.  We have initial consult for the ADHD v anxiety exam late February and then actual evaluation is said to be 8-16 weeks after that; so we’re looking at early summer before any true path is discussed currently.  I’m going through the list of every provider within a 2hr drive now and am being met with the same timeline and sometimes worse.  It is beyond frustrating, I know I wouldn’t have this problem with more traditional/physical ailments.  Let’s just say that my opinion of the mental healthcare environment in at least my immediate area is not positive; I don’t place blame on those professionals, but improvement is needed…but that’s probably a PSF topic so we’ll stop here

Nights are the most difficult for us.  I’ve since pre-school felt she had enough wherewithal to handle herself internally through the process of school and by the time she gets home that control has been exhausted and is out of energy to calm it down and often too “wound up” for some of the methods we’ve tried to adopt along the way.  Utilize an online program/support system called Positive Parenting, but (as I’m sure with any other kid generally speaking) what worked yesterday isn’t guaranteed to work today.  Melatonin is required, it absolutely helps her

One of the hardest things for the wife and I to do is let go of control and methods while simply embracing end results.  It is SO hard to step back and in the moment allow her to go about getting things done differently that we’d like/expect.  And when I say this I’m talking about tasks, getting chores done in a timely fashion, getting her to where she wants to be and do.  This is where hindsight kills me/us.  I know I overreacted, I know it wasn’t really a big deal, I know I contributed to the meltdown in some fashion…good lord the faults of parenting are painful and heartbreaking

This turned into a bit of a personal rant/vent session…back to more positive thoughts and moving toward solution/therapy

 

[El Floppo]

One of the hardest things for the wife and I to do is let go of control and methods while simply embracing end results.  It is SO hard to step back and in the moment allow her to go about getting things done differently that we’d like/expect.  And when I say this I’m talking about tasks, getting chores done in a timely fashion, getting her to where she wants to be and do.  This is where hindsight kills me/us.  I know I overreacted, I know it wasn’t really a big deal, I know I contributed to the meltdown in some fashion…good lord the faults of parenting are painful and heartbreaking

This turned into a bit of a personal rant/vent session…back to more positive thoughts and moving toward solution/therapy

man, the bolded.... right there with you.

On top of the stepping back and letting them set their own expectations part, most of the time I come down on them or feel like I'm failing is because of something unrelated to the situation and more about what's going on in my own life- lack of sleep, work stress, marriage stress, finances stress, etc, etc. 

and we all need a safe place to rant and vent... you should absolutely let it rip in here.

sucks about the services available... 8-16 weeks?!

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

Our biggest issue now is finding anyone who has available time.  We have initial consult for the ADHD v anxiety exam late February and then actual evaluation is said to be 8-16 weeks after that; so we’re looking at early summer before any true path is discussed currently.  I’m going through the list of every provider within a 2hr drive now and am being met with the same timeline and sometimes worse.  It is beyond frustrating, I know I wouldn’t have this problem with more traditional/physical ailments.  

Don't bet on it.  Mr R needed a podiatrist.  The first one I called didn't have an opening for about four or five months.  Just for a foot doctor?

 

[yoman]

https://psychcentral.com/adhd/adhd-overview has a newsletter which can be very worthwhile and they have a bunch of resources online. 

 

[The Narrator]

I don't have a kid with ADHD, but I have ADHD, and boy I wish I'd have started taking medicine when I was a kid. School was such a struggle and it didn't have to be. Medicine has been life-changing for me. 

Think of brain disorders as physical disorders because they are. If she was diabetic you'd give her insulin. You wouldn't worry about if you were doing the right thing or not. 

While ADHD does come with certain advantages, the fact is that the world is made by and for people who aren't. And that can be really, really hard to fit into if you're neurodiverse. Medicine can make it easier. 

 

[Marvelous]

My son was diagnosed with ADD (no H) when he was 10 years old.  We went with medications and they have made a world of difference.   At the time, he could not see the difference, but as his parents, we could see it.

His medication are stimulants (he is currently on Adderall).  It was explained to that with true ADD/ADHD, the medication stimulates a portion of the brain that allows him to focus and will actually calm a hyperactive person down.  If he does not have ADD/ADHD, it will act like speed.

The biggest side effect is it supresses appetite which can result is weight loss.  A lot of weight loss.  Which is not good for a 10 year old kid.

My son is 21 now.  It takes his medication when needed for class, exams, etc., and does not take it on other days.

My recommendation:  definitely get a diagnosis.  And try different treatments to see what helps.

 

[Lehigh98]

If I wanted to investigate Inattentive ADHD more (both for myself and my son) how would you suggest we get started?  Contact each of our PCP for a consultation first?

 

[That one guy]

We just started with psychology group that had a pediatric Dr on board, from there it blossomed into referrals for certain testing/evaluation that will result in final sit down to discuss findings and potential treatment.

On the positive, after calls to what felt like every group around the Central FL region that had the word psychology or psychiatry in it, we finally found a group downtown with openings in February and they split the 6hr eval into 3 two hour sessions on 3 different days.  This is a blessing on 2 fronts:  it’s way quicker than early summer that we were originally scheduled for and a single 6hr session gave ME anxiety thinking there’s no way my poor girl would make it through such a thing.

We has a stretch of really bad days, getting back into the swing of school structure, while needed, was still a challenge for her.  We gave up fighting on homework without telling her we gave up:  try to get as much done as possible and when she was “done” then so were we.  Her report card from first half of 1st grade came home, she’s reading at slightly above a 2nd grade level and her math is on pace there as well.  I see absolutely no reason to force a fight for homework completion.

February can’t get here quick enough and we can finally have info and results with which to base a plan off of rather than Dr Google diagnosis and prescriptions 

 

[PIK95]

I ain't reading all that, but just wanted to check in and say good luck to everyone.  

 

[NutterButter]

Good luck to all and stay strong.  

 

[That one guy]

Feels like a full year has passed since I started this…

Had the evaluation completed, a lot less focus on emotions than I expected; felt 90% education, but I guess those direct topics open a window to the actual mental condition/makeup.  She’s smart, reading at a 3rd grade level and high math marks; said her IQ is 128.  She has the full combo ADHD, hyperactivity/impulsivity plus inattention.  On top, I’ve forgotten exactly how graded but a level of oppositional defiance disorder that pretty much only exhibits itself with her mom and I.  She started generic Ritalin LA this Monday.  2 good days at school, 3 so-so days at school, wears off by the time she gets home and that dynamic hasn’t been impacted at all.  Only one week, our follow up for review of meds/reaction is another 2 weeks from now so we get a much better idea of how things are going.

I'm numb and deflated.  I am very happy we’ve finally started, I have hope and that’s something I haven’t felt in a while.  But I went through a phase of anger and intolerance toward her behavior that defeated me.  On top of finally started meds, we now cannot find any therapist that works with children her age AND does in person sessions; she cannot do virtual, that is an impossible ask of her.  She needs it to balance out the goals of the medicine:  meds are designed to give her back focus and attention, therapy to help her figure out emotions and control/work with them.

The oppositional defiance is now the hardest part to deal with.  We got to the point of giving up any normal expectations with regard to school work, finish what she could and she tested well on everything; she’s like me, busy work is ignored.  But the O.D.D., she refuses to say yes to any instruction from us, fights at every turn even if you’re trying to give her what she’s asking for.  And that’s where I lost my cool, the constant fighting over nothing, inconsequential battles from her that seemingly centered on “I’m not giving you a victory…everything will be challenged!”

It continues to hurt knowing what should be some of the most fun years of her life aren’t, hurts more to know I’ve created negative memories…

We will continue on, eventually therapy options will open I’m sure.  I look forward to days where she’s enjoying herself and knows it, is aware of it…something I don’t think happens right now, I don’t believe that even though she’s smiling and having fun running wild at the park that she’s actually aware of the fun, just simply pushing energy out because there’s too much inside

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

a level of oppositional defiance disorder that pretty much only exhibits itself with her mom and I.

This could be an expression of trust in the both of you on her part.  She knows she can't do that with anyone else and still have friends/fit in.  But she can dump frustration on you two because she also knows you have her back.  I wonder if there is some way to reframe instructions so that they don't sound that way.  

I'm sorry all of you have to deal with this.  I know it sucks.

 

[That one guy]

This could be an expression of trust in the both of you on her part.  She knows she can't do that with anyone else and still have friends/fit in.  But she can dump frustration on you two because she also knows you have her back.  I wonder if there is some way to reframe instructions so that they don't sound that way.  

I'm sorry all of you have to deal with this.  I know it sucks.

I've long held the belief that she has enough energy to try and observe norms during school and when she gets home it’s all been exhausted so the release of that bottled up chaos happens.  And, yes, I agree that there’s a comfort at home where she knows her worst will be absorbed by us no matter what.  A double edged sword, obviously we're happy none of the uncontrolled ugliness is exhibited elsewhere but man is parenting that knowing typical boundaries/rules won’t be observed and also punishment is almost completely ineffective…she doesn’t mean to do any of it, it’s not under her control during those times

To the bolded, that’s our hopes with therapy.  She’ll have her own therapy sessions, but we’ll also have family sessions as well because lord knows we as parents need help too; we are less than equipped to mitigate these issues on our own