Advice for a College Freshman (1 Viewer)

[johnnycakes]

Moved him in to his dorm yesterday. Wife was pretty emotional, I was a little sad, but excited for him. He couldn't get rid of us soon enough

Now, quickly turn his room into your new den or something so he doesn't get the idea he'll be welcome back.

 

[Sarnoff]

Buy the lowest # meal plan available. Ma and Pa always worry their kid isn't going to get his 3 square per day, so Junior ends up paying beaucoup bucks for 21 meals per week. It's a scam, he'll never use all of those. It's not even possible to eat that many meals in a dining hall. He's going to be across campus at the academic buildings during lunch time, and they usually are cash only, not meal plan points or whatever. He's going to want to meet with friends or hit McD's or grab food at odd times that the dining halls aren't open. Kids put on the freshman 15 no matter what, he's not going to starve, get the cheapest meal plan there is.

Also, nothing better than a Monday or Friday with no classes. Nothing. I'd plan an 8 hour day of classes on Thursday to get Fridays off.

And if a class meets before 10 AM, he'll miss a third of them at least.

 

[Sarnoff]

Oh, and this makes me feel as old as I did when I first heard Green Day on the oldies rock station.

 

[Keerock]

One other thing to add to the "advice"...

Don't be afraid to ask when you don't understand. Not just in class, but for anything... Where do I get a bus pass? How do I fill out a W4? What's the best way to get to the library? Better to find out beforehand than look like a fool. Call/text me and I will help if I can. Oh, and Google is your friend.

 

[McGarnicle]

Have as much sex as possible with as many partners as possible. Take pics/video of the act if you can, otherwise just collect head shots as souvenirs. By the end of the 4 years, it should take at least an hour to scroll through all the pics.

All the kids are doing Adderal for studying, for good reason. Stuff makes you focus like a laser beam and you retain 10 times more information. Do lots of Adderal.

Go see Dave Matthews. Don't ask questions, just go to the damn show and get completely ####ed up, otherwise you didn't go to college.

Get a job cleaning pools. Work shirtless, bring a portable stereo and play funky 70's instrumental music in the background. The wife will come out to offer you lemonade and mention her no-good husband is traveling on business with his 20 year old secretary. At that point mention how hot it is today, nice day for a swim. She will concur, and slowly undress. Yep, pool cleaning is basically nonstop banging punctuated by the occasional pool cleaning.

I think that's it.

 

[belljr]

One other thing to add to the "advice"...Don't be afraid to ask when you don't understand. Not just in class, but for anything... Where do I get a bus pass? How do I fill out a W4? What's the best way to get to the library? Better to find out beforehand than look like a fool. Call/text me and I will help if I can. Oh, and Google is your friend.

I told my son this.Then I blew up at him and his mother because he didn't feel like filling out his promissary note because there was too much reading... Why do I have to do this. His attitude stinks right now but my wife doesn't see it. She thinks I'm too hard on him. Maybe I am but boy you need to start reading and UNDERSTANDING "real stuff" now. Learn to think for yourself instead of skimming over stuff..

 

[Keerock]

Son #2 headed off to college in 2 weeks...

 

[bagger]

-5^2=-25