At what age would you allow a child to stay home alone? (1 Viewer)

[Max Power]

The Ex and I got into a fight recently as my oldest boy told her that I left them home alone. This was the first time ever I think my kids had no parental supervision and they were more excited about the novelty of it than anything else. So of course they told mom.

My kids are 9 and 7. I left for about 5 minutes to run to the corner grocery store to get milk for breakfast. They were in pajamas and watching TV. I didnt feel the need to turn a five minute trip into a 20 minute adventure.

My oldest is very responsible. The 7 year old is a good kid, but a bit of a trouble maker. They knew where I was going and that I'd be right back.

The ex freaked out because even considering all that, they had no phone in the house and no other way to contact me should something go wrong in those 5 minutes. I get this point, its legit, but for 5 minutes it doesn't hold a lot of weight. Granting gowing forward, I'll have to consider a TracPhone or something in case of an emergency.

When I was 8, I was walking home from school at least a half mile. I would be alone for almost an hour before my mother got home from work. This wasn't even a big deal in the 80s.

I'm curious to hear at what age others here starting leaving kids home alone.

 

[Cjw_55106]

9 and 7 is fine. I'd say an hour at that age is OK.

 

[Doug B]

I understand that locally, it's illegal to leave children under 13 alone in the house without supervision. I am not 100% sure of that, as I have not actually read the statute.

Daughter is 12, son is 9. They can and do occupy themselves for hours on end. Neither are "thrill-seekers" that attempt to get into things, use the stove/oven, etc. Still, we're targeting 14 years old for my daughter to be able to stay home (a) without us parents and (b) watching her younger brother.

The "five minutes" is tricky. You can be in the bathroom for five minutes. You can be occupied looking for something in a closet/garage for longer than that. You can be out front doing yard work for longer. I guess the issue is "accessibility" in the event of the unthinkable. Still, you're with your kids all the time. You see 'em not budge for a hour while playing the Wii, or checking out Youtube, etc. So I can understand personally feeling OK with leaving them alone. It can get really complicated, though, with someone who doesn't share your OK feeling gets wind of your decision -- especially an ex.

 

[Ray Karpis]

Agreed. It's best if they have a phone, but for that short of a time...good grief.

My 11 and 8 walk home from school (school is 300 yards from our house) and stay by themselves for an hour plus in the afternoons. They have a phone but almost never use it.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

3 months

 

[Leroy Hoard]

It's really not that big a deal. If you are lucky a series of movies will be made about your kids and the self preservation skills that they will learn.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

If you can't leave a 9 and 7 year old home alone for 15 minutes, there's either something wrong with you or wrong with your kids.

 

[Jayrod]

Our neighbors have one child who is in 3rd grade (8-9 years old). He is home by himself for an hour or so most days after school. Everybody seems fine with it. Not sure what the statute is, but my wife and I decided the other day we could leave him home alone for a few minutes if we needed to.

Now our 5 year old is a different story.

 

[hagmania]

It's really not that big a deal. If you are lucky a series of movies will be made about your kids and the self preservation skills that they will learn.

Agreed, kids are resilient, a word which here means they think it's funny even when someone loses an eye.

 

[Andy Dufresne]

Helicopter mothers.

 

[Courtjester]

This is has been a topic of conversation in our family as well this year. My 11 year old gets off the bus literally across the street from our house at 3:45. My wife gets off work at 3:30 and so she is always 5-10 minutes late getting here and we had to give my daughter a key. We really didn't like the idea at all because my daughter is not the most focused individual in the world and tends to be easily distracted, but it was the only thing we could do.

As to the OP, you know if you feel good about it and you trust your kids, then that is all that counts. I personally wouldn't leave my aged kids home alone at that age because the amount of what if's exceed anything that I would need from the store. With this hypersensitive world we live in, all it would it is a nosey neighbor to make a call to your local DHS and you could find yourself having to answer some questions; however, I don't think a lot of states have laws on what the minimum age is.

Then of course you have the issue of what age WILL YOU NOT leave your daughter home alone and I think that starts right around age 15

 

[comfortably numb]

This is typical woman talk.

I once suggested to my wife to leave the kids (9/7) alone for a few minutes...I was the Antichrist.

I called her a few months later...she was out with the dogs...where are the kids? Home.

It's only a problem cause you did it.

If she had to run out to do something for 5 minutes she would find the proper justification.

 

[AAABatteries]

Our neighbors have one child who is in 3rd grade (8-9 years old). He is home by himself for an hour or so most days after school. Everybody seems fine with it. Not sure what the statute is, but my wife and I decided the other day we could leave him home alone for a few minutes if we needed to.

Now our 5 year old is a different story.

You talked with your wife about leaving your neighbor's kid by himself?

 

[Max Power]

The "five minutes" is tricky. You can be in the bathroom for five minutes. You can be occupied looking for something in a closet/garage for longer than that. You can be out front doing yard work for longer. I guess the issue is "accessibility" in the event of the unthinkable. Still, you're with your kids all the time. You see 'em not budge for a hour while playing the Wii, or checking out Youtube, etc. So I can understand personally feeling OK with leaving them alone. It can get really complicated, though, with someone who doesn't share your OK feeling gets wind of your decision -- especially an ex.

I think this is where I'm at. Not having eyes on them for 5-10 minutes is ok in my world. I think the phrase "home alone" scared the mom more than anything else.

 

[Cjw_55106]

Our neighbors have one child who is in 3rd grade (8-9 years old). He is home by himself for an hour or so most days after school. Everybody seems fine with it. Not sure what the statute is, but my wife and I decided the other day we could leave him home alone for a few minutes if we needed to.

Now our 5 year old is a different story.

You talked with your wife about leaving your neighbor's kid by himself?

I didn't follow that part either, but if Jayrod approves, who am I to question?

 

[Cjw_55106]

And I forgot the obvious....each kid is different and mileage will vary.

 

[Max Power]

This is typical woman talk.

I once suggested to my wife to leave the kids (9/7) alone for a few minutes...I was the Antichrist.

I called her a few months later...she was out with the dogs...where are the kids? Home.

It's only a problem cause you did it.

If she had to run out to do something for 5 minutes she would find the proper justification.

Nailed it.

Although I think she was on to something with having phone access.

 

[Max Power]

As to the OP, you know if you feel good about it and you trust your kids, then that is all that counts. I personally wouldn't leave my aged kids home alone at that age because the amount of what if's exceed anything that I would need from the store. With this hypersensitive world we live in, all it would it is a nosey neighbor to make a call to your local DHS and you could find yourself having to answer some questions; however, I don't think a lot of states have laws on what the minimum age is.

I looked it up. NC is age 8. But can a 9 year old watch a 7 year old then...

 

[gianmarco]

As a kid, I used to stay home alone all the time after school when I was ~7-8 years old. That said, it reminded me of this time I came home after school and I got this strange call. So the phone rings and I pick it up and some guy on the other end says "I'm coming over to pick up the car". Of course, I had no idea who this was and didn't recognize the voice and I told him that much and he repeats that he's coming over soon to pick up the car and then hangs up.

Now, this was before cell phones and my mother had already left work so I didn't have a way to reach her. So I devised a full plan on how I was going to defend myself against this stranger who was now coming to our house and I feared was using this whole "car story" to get in and kill me. I grabbed a chair and moved into a corner of the living room so I could see him the moment he came through the door. But, this corner was perfect because there was no way he could sneak in another entrance and surprise me. I also grabbed a huge chef knife and a small paring knife. Why those? Well, the paring knife was to throw at him as he came charging at me. The chef knife was once I incapacitated him with the paring knife, I would use the chef knife for close quarters combat and try to take his head off. I also grabbed a bat of mine and laid it on the floor....just in case.

Needless to say, when my mother got home and saw her 8 year old son sitting there with two knives, one in each hand, looking ready to pounce, she found it both frightening and hilarious.

Kids are idiots.

 

[Andy Dufresne]

As a kid, I used to stay home alone all the time after school when I was ~7-8 years old. That said, it reminded me of this time I came home after school and I got this strange call. So the phone rings and I pick it up and some guy on the other end says "I'm coming over to pick up the car". Of course, I had no idea who this was and didn't recognize the voice and I told him that much and he repeats that he's coming over soon to pick up the car and then hangs up.

Now, this was before cell phones and my mother had already left work so I didn't have a way to reach her. So I devised a full plan on how I was going to defend myself against this stranger who was now coming to our house and I feared was using this whole "car story" to get in and kill me. I grabbed a chair and moved into a corner of the living room so I could see him the moment he came through the door. But, this corner was perfect because there was no way he could sneak in another entrance and surprise me. I also grabbed a huge chef knife and a small paring knife. Why those? Well, the paring knife was to throw at him as he came charging at me. The chef knife was once I incapacitated him with the paring knife, I would use the chef knife for close quarters combat and try to take his head off. I also grabbed a bat of mine and laid it on the floor....just in case.

Needless to say, when my mother got home and saw her 8 year old son sitting there with two knives, one in each hand, looking ready to pounce, she found it both frightening and hilarious.

Kids are idiots.

Was the call from...INSIDE THE HOUSE!? :gulp:

 

[Leroy Hoard]

As a kid, I used to stay home alone all the time after school when I was ~7-8 years old. That said, it reminded me of this time I came home after school and I got this strange call. So the phone rings and I pick it up and some guy on the other end says "I'm coming over to pick up the car". Of course, I had no idea who this was and didn't recognize the voice and I told him that much and he repeats that he's coming over soon to pick up the car and then hangs up.

Now, this was before cell phones and my mother had already left work so I didn't have a way to reach her. So I devised a full plan on how I was going to defend myself against this stranger who was now coming to our house and I feared was using this whole "car story" to get in and kill me. I grabbed a chair and moved into a corner of the living room so I could see him the moment he came through the door. But, this corner was perfect because there was no way he could sneak in another entrance and surprise me. I also grabbed a huge chef knife and a small paring knife. Why those? Well, the paring knife was to throw at him as he came charging at me. The chef knife was once I incapacitated him with the paring knife, I would use the chef knife for close quarters combat and try to take his head off. I also grabbed a bat of mine and laid it on the floor....just in case.

Needless to say, when my mother got home and saw her 8 year old son sitting there with two knives, one in each hand, looking ready to pounce, she found it both frightening and hilarious.

Kids are idiots.

Was the call from...INSIDE THE HOUSE!? :gulp:

Lucky mom came home first or that poor mechanic was about to get OJ'd by some crazy kid.

 

[McGarnicle]

Starting when I was around 4 or 5, my mom would put me to bed and go out with her friends or on dates or whatever. It was the 70s. Then from second grade I was a latchkey kid.

 

[Jayrod]

Our neighbors have one child who is in 3rd grade (8-9 years old). He is home by himself for an hour or so most days after school. Everybody seems fine with it. Not sure what the statute is, but my wife and I decided the other day we could leave him home alone for a few minutes if we needed to.

Now our 5 year old is a different story.

You talked with your wife about leaving your neighbor's kid by himself?

I left out a line about my son being the same age.

 

[B-Deep]

I would think that's the sort of thing you and the wife would have talked about.

I talked about it with my wife. "Hey, at what age is it ok for me to leave the kid here and run to the gas station? How about the grocery store? How about the bar?"

I've found a lot of times discussing things with your wife can avoid disagreements before they happen

Just a thought

 

[B-Deep]

the bar part was a joke, before someone freaks out

 

[Jayrod]

I would think that's the sort of thing you and the wife would have talked about.

I talked about it with my wife. "Hey, at what age is it ok for me to leave the kid here and run to the gas station? How about the grocery store? How about the bar?"

I've found a lot of times discussing things with your wife can avoid disagreements before they happen

Just a thought

They are divorced.

 

[B-Deep]

I would think that's the sort of thing you and the wife would have talked about.

I talked about it with my wife. "Hey, at what age is it ok for me to leave the kid here and run to the gas station? How about the grocery store? How about the bar?"

I've found a lot of times discussing things with your wife can avoid disagreements before they happen

Just a thought

They are divorced.

Missed that (i mean, he only opened the post with "The ex", which did not make it very obvious)

Although I could argue all the more reason to have those discussions, but that obviously depends on their relationship

 

[Jayrod]

This is typical woman talk.

I once suggested to my wife to leave the kids (9/7) alone for a few minutes...I was the Antichrist.

I called her a few months later...she was out with the dogs...where are the kids? Home.

It's only a problem cause you did it.

If she had to run out to do something for 5 minutes she would find the proper justification.

I have this exact same issue with putting the kids to bed. If I'm home with the kids and she has something going on at night and they aren't in bed by 9:00, I'm a horrible father. But heaven forbid that I question why they aren't in bed when I come home at 10:00 and they are still up.

After I called her out on it a couple of times, she has since backed off, but women have a real inability to be rational when other people are taking care of their children.

 

[Max Power]

I would think that's the sort of thing you and the wife would have talked about.

I talked about it with my wife. "Hey, at what age is it ok for me to leave the kid here and run to the gas station? How about the grocery store? How about the bar?"

I've found a lot of times discussing things with your wife can avoid disagreements before they happen

Just a thought

They are divorced.

Yup. She is reasonable about 50% of the time. Didn't see this as an issue she'd get upset over. Silly me.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

the bar part was a joke, before someone freaks out

I've spent 5 minutes in a bar (ran in, did a double, and ran home), but I've spent hours in a grocery store.

 

[B-Deep]

if the kids are responsible i see no issue with it personally. But things like this can get sticky, and with an ex wife involved even stickier I guess maybe try and come to some understanding about when and for how long this is ok.

 

[Andy Dufresne]

Women won't let their kids out of their sight and ease into responsibility...and then they wonder why their teenage kids are so irresponsible when they're out of sight.

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

My kids are 5 & 6 and occasionally me and my wife will go to the corner bar after they are down for the night. We call each other on our cell phones and leave one on speaker at the house so if we hear one of them get up we can quickly get back to the house.

I don't think I would leave them alone while they are awake though.

 

[comfortably numb]

Lol...on a side note.

Last week my wife took the dogs out and left the kids 9/7 alone.

This was for 20 min.

I got home....

"Tell dad what you guys did when I was out"

:crickets:

"Tell him"

7 year old...Ava ate the chocolate.

Noah did too!

I'm like...huh?

Then he does a chugging motion and says Ava ate the chocolate.

Turns out the both got the chocolate syrup and we're chugging it.

Lmao

 

[MAC_32]

Every kid is different. My oldest is five. While legally I probably can't leave him alone I'd have no issue leaving him home alone to walk across the street to grab something from the store/for us to eat. The three year old? I probably won't feel good about leaving him here by himself when he's 12. Possibly 18.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

This is typical woman talk.

I once suggested to my wife to leave the kids (9/7) alone for a few minutes...I was the Antichrist.

I called her a few months later...she was out with the dogs...where are the kids? Home.

It's only a problem cause you did it.

If she had to run out to do something for 5 minutes she would find the proper justification.

Don't pull the sexist card. I had a house key when I was nine. By the time I was eleven, I didn't have a baby sitter any more. (I was in an apartment with an external door.) I am on board with leaving a nine and seven year old kid alone for a few minutes. I doubt I'd leave them alone for more than an hour, especially without a phone.

And that's not woman talk; it's divorce talk.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

My kids are 5 & 6 and occasionally me and my wife will go to the corner bar after they are down for the night. We call each other on our cell phones and leave one on speaker at the house so if we hear one of them get up we can quickly get back to the house.

I don't think I would leave them alone while they are awake though.

This such a bad idea. If you did that in Texas and got caught, you would probably be charged with a crime. We've had a couple of these where the house caught fire (not the kids' fault). It wasn't pretty.

 

[PatsWillWin]

My kids are 5 & 6 and occasionally me and my wife will go to the corner bar after they are down for the night. We call each other on our cell phones and leave one on speaker at the house so if we hear one of them get up we can quickly get back to the house.

I don't think I would leave them alone while they are awake though.

This is not cool IMO.

 

[renesauz]

My kids are 5 & 6 and occasionally me and my wife will go to the corner bar after they are down for the night. We call each other on our cell phones and leave one on speaker at the house so if we hear one of them get up we can quickly get back to the house.

I don't think I would leave them alone while they are awake though.

This is not cool IMO.

I'm hoping that's a joke.

I have zero issue with what the OP suggests. Most kids that age should be fine for 15 minutes or even an hour alone...but probably not for an entire evening just yet. That said, I do think it's wise to ensure they have a phone, or a trusted neighbor they can go to should something happen to you while you're gone. God forbid you get in a wreck or something and they have no resources to turn to.

 

[cosjobs]

Depends on how close Homer lives.

 

[Tick]

Haven't read past the initial post...

This is one of those topics where you just can't use common sense. You have to go with the legal definition. Check your state's laws and follow them so you don't expose your family to being separated... even if the laws are silly.

 

[AcerFC]

Haven't read past the initial post...

This is one of those topics where you just can't use common sense. You have to go with the legal definition. Check your state's laws and follow them so you don't expose your family to being separated... even if the laws are silly.

I have left my 8 year old alone a few times in NY. Sometimes she is fine, a few she didn't like it. We only do it if she says its ok. Just looked for a NY state law and apparently there isnt one. Could leave my 6 year old if I wanted. I wouldnt bc he chooses to always come with us and not stay with his sister.

 

[Sabertooth]

11

 

[NutterButter]

This sounds like an ex being a PITA just b/c she can.

 

[James Bond]

I think Macaulay Culkin was 9 and you know, he was fine being home alone.

 

[mr roboto]

I think Macaulay Culkin was 9 and you know, he was fine being home alone.

Look how he turned out!

 

[MAC_32]

My kids are 5 & 6 and occasionally me and my wife will go to the corner bar after they are down for the night. We call each other on our cell phones and leave one on speaker at the house so if we hear one of them get up we can quickly get back to the house.

I don't think I would leave them alone while they are awake though.

This such a bad idea. If you did that in Texas and got caught, you would probably be charged with a crime. We've had a couple of these where the house caught fire (not the kids' fault). It wasn't pretty.

This is why it's a bad idea, but I get where he is coming from.

 

[bicycle_seat_sniffer]

Tried to look up michigan law awhile ago it was pretty vague iirc

 

[Binky The Doormat]

This is typical woman talk.

I once suggested to my wife to leave the kids (9/7) alone for a few minutes...I was the Antichrist.

I called her a few months later...she was out with the dogs...where are the kids? Home.

It's only a problem cause you did it.

If she had to run out to do something for 5 minutes she would find the proper justification.

Don't pull the sexist card. I had a house key when I was nine. By the time I was eleven, I didn't have a baby sitter any more. (I was in an apartment with an external door.) I am on board with leaving a nine and seven year old kid alone for a few minutes. I doubt I'd leave them alone for more than an hour, especially without a phone.

And that's not woman talk; it's divorce talk.

wtf?

 

[comfortably numb]

This is typical woman talk.

I once suggested to my wife to leave the kids (9/7) alone for a few minutes...I was the Antichrist.

I called her a few months later...she was out with the dogs...where are the kids? Home.

It's only a problem cause you did it.

If she had to run out to do something for 5 minutes she would find the proper justification.

Don't pull the sexist card. I had a house key when I was nine. By the time I was eleven, I didn't have a baby sitter any more. (I was in an apartment with an external door.) I am on board with leaving a nine and seven year old kid alone for a few minutes. I doubt I'd leave them alone for more than an hour, especially without a phone.And that's not woman talk; it's divorce talk.

wtf?

I rest my case