BAAAAAAAMMMMMMM (1 Viewer)

[3quinox]

Konichiwa Biiitches!

Are you looking for the most kick-asssse fantasy football league member ever? If so, look no further. You Fuggin found him. I'm a 19-year-old speech communications major with experience at Fantasy football, minesweeper, Windows 95, and old 1970’s movies! Watchyuu know about BETAMAX!? I graduated from Barlow High school in Oregon than went to Corvallis to attend OSU at the tender age of 18. Here I joined my first fantasy football league. After deciding that the league was hell on earth I became a Portland Trail Blazer fan. After watching Ray Felton average -2 assists a game I thought I should try fantasy football again. Why? So I don’t have the urge to cut myself every time Hasheem Thabeet air balls a free throw. I want to have fun and do what I love so later down the road I don’t have to post crap like this on your forum.

Anyway, I wanna join a league and am looking for any group with room. I’ll take anything at this point. I don't give a crap if you give me a franchise your wife ran because she said you weren’t spending enough time together! Fuuuuckkkkk it! Ill gladly take blaine gabbert or give you a first round pick for a third string kicker.

A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't bother any of your guys’ shiit. If you ever left your team roster open, I'm just like, "Oh shiit I better not mess with this shiittt, because it's not mine." I pay on time, make a new roster every week and even have nfl network!. I can even clean toilets. fuuuucccckk it. If your in Corvallis I'll even cook for you. That's right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shiit in bearnaise. EVERY. Fuuuukin. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's fuggin FANTASTIC! I'll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your Fuggin socks off.

I also do NFL Trivia a lot. I Fuggin love nfl history. Wanna know the NFL’s first President? That ho was Jim Thorpe. What Chicago Bears great ran six kickoffs back for touchdowns over seven seasons? Gale Sayers.. All that shiit. I even watch those sappy football movies like the Blind Side. It's a sad yet happy movie, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself. Fuggin Deep. Do you like movies? I Fuggin love them. We can watch them on Netflix together. Don’t have Netflix? I’ll buy you a year’s subscription like it’s crack cocaine! We can watch the shiit out of some movies together if you like, talk about football, make trade offers, I’ll laugh in a chat room at your jokes if they aren’t even funny. shiit you can just add me to the team and I don't have to talk to you guy’s at all. It's completely UP TO YOU!

I'd prefer a- I don't care! You can start three kickers and have a flex/slot spot that can only be filled by a player whose name ends in three vowels.

Feel free to contact me at: DrGeno25@comcast.net

 

[Mike B]

I am starting up a new 12 team PPR dynasty league. The league rules are pretty standard but please check out the league bylaws anyway. There are no divisions, there are 2 flex positions (1 allows for a QB), and standings are determined by victory points. LeagueSafe will be used to handle league funds. League fees are $40.

Here is the league page: http://www32.myfanta...12/home/79819#0

Interested?

 

[5-ish Finkle]

I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shiit in bearnaise.

This blurb is so full of win, you just can't even understand.

 

[Banemorth]

Jesus Christ I'm tempted to boot a co-worker out of a league I run just to have you sign up

 

[bicycle_seat_sniffer]

 

[Holy Schneikes]

Jesus Christ I'm tempted to boot a co-worker out of a league I run just to have you sign up

You know that "World's most interesting man" guy from the commercials? I would rather have THIS guy, than that guy. I want to start a new league just so I have a chance to get him in it.

 

[doowain]

Dude...good effort but get your own material.

http://coedmagazine.com/2012/05/14/craigslists-list-roommate-nightmares-lots-of-ladies-a-big-dog-and-a-roommate-of-the-next-level/

Craigslist’s List Roommate Nightmares: Lots of Ladies, A Big Dog, and a Roommate of the Next Level

May 14, 2012     Posted in Entertainment, Features, Lifestyle, WTF

Ad Reads: BEST. ROOMATE. EVER. For one night only.

Konichiwa #####es. Are you looking for the most kick-### ####### roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You f*cking found him. I’m a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad-### companies like AOL and FORBES F*CKING MAGAZINE. That’s right! What you know about experience?

I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age of 22. After deciding that New York was a stinky #####-hole, I moved back to Alabama to cultivate more professional experience. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post s*it like this on Craigslist.

A bit about me: I’m respectful, quiet, clean and I won’t bother any of your #####. If you leave ##### out, I’m just like, “Oh ##### I better not mess with this #####, because it’s not mine.”

I turn off lights. I clean toilets. ##### it. I’ll even cook for you. That’s right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I’ll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that ##### in bearnaise. EVERY. #######. NIGHT.

Don’t eat meat? That’s f*cking FANTASTIC! I’ll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your f*cking socks off.

I also read a lot. I f*cking LOVE books. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hawthorne. All that #####. I read Tuesday’s with Morrie the other day. It’s a sad story, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself. F*cking smart.

Do you like movies? I f*cking love them. We can watch the ##### out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, hike, play video games or play a game of one-on-one basketball, or I don’t have to talk to you at all. It’s completely UP TO YOU!

Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd? LIVE? WHENEVER THE ##### YOU WANT? Of course you are! I’ll take requests and learn any song you like, because I have the voice of an angel and the acoustical stylings of James F*cking Taylor. AWWWWWW ##### YEA!

A lot of people ask me, “Hey, you’re from Alabama. Are you racist?” And, the answer to that question is, no. I’m not racist or judgmental at all. I love everyone. I’m a secular humanist. I F*CKING LOVE PEOPLE. That’s the only requirement to being a secular humanist actually. You have to like other human beings and want to help them for no other reason than they are human regardless of race, religion or sexual preference. Pretty f*cking cool right?

You can’t bring too much only bring two duffelbags of clothes, laptop computer, one guitar, one cell-phone with charger, 8 pairs of shoes, one picture frame, probably some condoms and a sh*tload of beef jerky and Pringles for the trip.

I’m taking being a roommate to the next level. Email me! I’ll hook yo ### up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I’d like to bang before I die.

If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your f*cking mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I’m ready to give you money. My current roommate is out of town so I’m bored as ##### let’s do something f*cking fun.

 

[3quinox]

Dude...good effort but get your own material. http://coedmagazine.com/2012/05/14/craigslists-list-roommate-nightmares-lots-of-ladies-a-big-dog-and-a-roommate-of-the-next-level/Craigslist’s List Roommate Nightmares: Lots of Ladies, A Big Dog, and a Roommate of the Next LevelMay 14, 2012     Posted in Entertainment, Features, Lifestyle, WTFAd Reads: BEST. ROOMATE. EVER. For one night only.Konichiwa #####es. Are you looking for the most kick-### ####### roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You f*cking found him. I’m a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad-### companies like AOL and FORBES F*CKING MAGAZINE. That’s right! What you know about experience?I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age of 22. After deciding that New York was a stinky #####-hole, I moved back to Alabama to cultivate more professional experience. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post s*it like this on Craigslist.A bit about me: I’m respectful, quiet, clean and I won’t bother any of your #####. If you leave ##### out, I’m just like, “Oh ##### I better not mess with this #####, because it’s not mine.”I turn off lights. I clean toilets. ##### it. I’ll even cook for you. That’s right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I’ll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that ##### in bearnaise. EVERY. #######. NIGHT.Don’t eat meat? That’s f*cking FANTASTIC! I’ll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your f*cking socks off.I also read a lot. I f*cking LOVE books. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hawthorne. All that #####. I read Tuesday’s with Morrie the other day. It’s a sad story, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself. F*cking smart.Do you like movies? I f*cking love them. We can watch the ##### out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, hike, play video games or play a game of one-on-one basketball, or I don’t have to talk to you at all. It’s completely UP TO YOU!Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd? LIVE? WHENEVER THE ##### YOU WANT? Of course you are! I’ll take requests and learn any song you like, because I have the voice of an angel and the acoustical stylings of James F*cking Taylor. AWWWWWW ##### YEA!A lot of people ask me, “Hey, you’re from Alabama. Are you racist?” And, the answer to that question is, no. I’m not racist or judgmental at all. I love everyone. I’m a secular humanist. I F*CKING LOVE PEOPLE. That’s the only requirement to being a secular humanist actually. You have to like other human beings and want to help them for no other reason than they are human regardless of race, religion or sexual preference. Pretty f*cking cool right?You can’t bring too much only bring two duffelbags of clothes, laptop computer, one guitar, one cell-phone with charger, 8 pairs of shoes, one picture frame, probably some condoms and a sh*tload of beef jerky and Pringles for the trip.I’m taking being a roommate to the next level. Email me! I’ll hook yo ### up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I’d like to bang before I die.If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your f*cking mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I’m ready to give you money. My current roommate is out of town so I’m bored as ##### let’s do something f*cking fun.

I made it under the impression that people would know about the craigslist ad, thus making it more of a joke. Thanks for the input everyone, I found a league.

 

[doowain]

Oh. In that case. Aaaaaaaaaahahahhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahaaaaaaaaa.

 

[Casting Couch]

Meast ?