Bad excuses....why? (1 Viewer)

[IC FBGCav]

When my dad died I had a buddy who I didn't even expect to come to funeral  message me that he couldn't come because he was out of town.    We grew up in the same hometown and his parents came because it was in the hometown.  

His mom helped raised me (my mom worked, she gave me lunch and watched me 30 minutes after school).  Yes we lived so close to our grade school we could go home for lunch.

So when his mom comes to the funeral I greet her and hubby which I grew up with just happy to see them because it's been a long time.  First things she says, sorry her son couldn't be there his pipes burst in his house.  I just said "no problem, happy to see you etc."  

I was literally thankful to see her. But to my buddy, why lie?  Nothing was expected, you lied to me, made your mom lie when you can just say nothing or say sry, I can't make it in an email.  It's been a while but why the need to lie?

 

[Ghost Rider]

There is always the possibility he was supposed to go out of town, but stayed home because the pipes burst and he had to attend to that.

 

[IC FBGCav]

There is always the possibility he was supposed to go out of town, but stayed home because the pipes burst and he had to attend to that.

Of course.  

 

[IC FBGCav]

My point is say nothing or I can't make it, no excuse necessary.

 

[Ghost Rider]

I hear ya, but when it comes to a funeral, saying you can't make it and leaving it at that sounds kind of cold.  I know that if I couldn't make to a funeral for a friend's parent, I would say more than, "I can't make it."  A funeral kind of warrants a little bit more than that.  

 

[NREC34]

I think the lesson here is that if you are going to lie you need to be consistent in the lie. 

 

[NutterButter]

I'm like you.   If you want to come, come.  If not, don't come.   But a lot of people expect you to come and get offended if you don't.  

 

[Galileo]

Maybe it was the mom who lied.  Perhaps she was embarrassed that her son wasn't coming and made up a story to cover for him without knowing her son had already contacted you.

 

[Chaka]

I hear ya, but when it comes to a funeral, saying you can't make it and leaving it at that sounds kind of cold.  I know that if I couldn't make to a funeral for a friend's parent, I would say more than, "I can't make it."  A funeral kind of warrants a little bit more than that.  

"I can't make it because I don't want to.'

 

[Dezbelief]

I wouldn't let this bother you. I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad 5 1/2 years ago. Whatever the true reason is your friend didn't attend he or his Mom cared enough about you to lie about the exact reason. Almost all of us lie to our loved ones at some point to try to not hurt them. I lied to my 7 year old son a couple of weeks ago when some baby blue birds he had been observing perished. They were blown out of the nest during a nasty wind storm. I told him the mama bird probably moved them to a new nest. Your friend and his Mom both care about you, leave it at that. 

 

[WDIK2]

My ex was terrible about this.  She would lie when there was a perfectly legitimate reason we couldn't be somewhere.  I never understood that.

 

[wikkidpissah]

I would answer this, but i hadda do sumn

 

[DaVinci]

Sorry for your loss. I would have come, but I was out of town helping a friend with burst pipes.

 

[EYLive]

I thought only women used the term "hubby".

 

[Binky The Doormat]

My ex was terrible about this.  She would lie when there was a perfectly legitimate reason we couldn't be somewhere.  I never understood that.

omg ...this strikes home in an innocent way.  My best friend in jr. high and HS, would lie every time we went out.  We would just be going down the street to play foosball or something and he would make up a story.

I never said anything, but finally, one day when we got in the car, I asked him ...why do you make up stories when we aren't really doing anything?  

He got really serious and said, "Hey, if I started tellin' them the truth ...they'll know when I'm lyin'" 

 

[Joe Summer]

Why do you assume that he lied to you and not to his mom?

 

[Tick]

My brother lies casually for convenience.  It drives me nuts.

 

[jrt103]

its not a lie if you believe it to be true

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

I hear ya, but when it comes to a funeral, saying you can't make it and leaving it at that sounds kind of cold.  I know that if I couldn't make to a funeral for a friend's parent, I would say more than, "I can't make it."  A funeral kind of warrants a little bit more than that.  

No, it doesn't.  All you do is tell someone what they came in second to.

Sorry about your dad.

 

[BobbyLayne]

When my dad died I had a buddy who I didn't even expect to come to funeral  message me that he couldn't come because he was out of town.    We grew up in the same hometown and his parents came because it was in the hometown.  

His mom helped raised me (my mom worked, she gave me lunch and watched me 30 minutes after school).  Yes we lived so close to our grade school we could go home for lunch.

So when his mom comes to the funeral I greet her and hubby which I grew up with just happy to see them because it's been a long time.  First things she says, sorry her son couldn't be there his pipes burst in his house.  I just said "no problem, happy to see you etc."  

I was literally thankful to see her. But to my buddy, why lie?  Nothing was expected, you lied to me, made your mom lie when you can just say nothing or say sry, I can't make it in an email.  It's been a while but why the need to lie?

This is OT from your original intent but something I think is important for people to consider.

Always go to the funeral

It’s a small gesture, but it means a lot.

 

[ZenoRazon]

When my dad died I had a buddy who I didn't even expect to come to funeral  message me that he couldn't come because he was out of town.    We grew up in the same hometown and his parents came because it was in the hometown.  

His mom helped raised me (my mom worked, she gave me lunch and watched me 30 minutes after school).  Yes we lived so close to our grade school we could go home for lunch.

So when his mom comes to the funeral I greet her and hubby which I grew up with just happy to see them because it's been a long time.  First things she says, sorry her son couldn't be there his pipes burst in his house.  I just said "no problem, happy to see you etc."  

I was literally thankful to see her. But to my buddy, why lie?  Nothing was expected, you lied to me, made your mom lie when you can just say nothing or say sry, I can't make it in an email.  It's been a while but why the need to lie?

Not the big deal you are making it out to be, time to shine it and move on.

 

[urbanhack]

My point is say nothing or I can't make it, no excuse necessary.

Don't make any assumptions.

#TheFourAgreements

 

[ChiefD]

When my dad died when I was 17, I remember the people who showed up for him and me. Not the ones who did not.

I’m sorry about your loss. Peace to you and your family.

 

[Rattle and Hum]

I would answer this, but i hadda do sumn

I keep refreshing waiting for your input on this. 

 

[DallasDMac]

If he was your buddy and truly lying, you need better buddies. I can't imagine someone I consider a friend not showing up after I've lost my father. Doesn't sound like much of a friend at all.