Don't Noonan
Footballguy
Wipe? Very rarely do I sit down for more than 2 minutes. I never feel the need to bring out my phone.
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Bathroom at the office? (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter fantasycurse42
- Start date
FUBAR
Footballguy
you're wiping while pooping? impressive.
I get your not wanting to bring in your phone, but those who do shouldn't be a mystery.
RUSF18
Footballguy
You plan your life around when you can #### and it's the people who can freely release their bowels that have problems.
FUBAR
Footballguy
I poop right after getting up, making coffee and letting the dogs out. Been doing so for years now. On rare occasion I'll need to go again later in the day, but the morning routine is extremely consistent.
fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
I'm frequently changing my diet... Always changes my cycles.
Don't Noonan
Footballguy
Interesting, I can't remember the last time I pooped before going to work. Maybe a 1 in 300 type of event for me.
elguapo07
Footballguy
Yup basically, I prefer just a little muscle memory and some home field advantage. I'm not a farm animal so I'm pretty regular and prefer the comforts of home.
I said it was a disorder/syndrome as I'm compassionate to those that are afflicted.
Last edited by a moderator:
elguapo07
Footballguy
Baloney Sandwich
Footballguy
If I'm heading into the stall to take a dump, I don't care if anyone else is in the other stall. If I'm planning on snapping one out, I prefer to have the place to myself due to the wide stance employed for that activity.
Tom Servo
Nittany Beavers
The bolded is probably the worst. Sitting down to crap and the seat is warm. :shudder: It's like you were spooning the guy who crapped just before you.
TLEF316
Footballguy
Its annoying to have to poop near others, but its usually just a minor inconvenience. I will make every effort to make sure nobody else is around when I exit the stall thouugh.
The annoyance level jumps up two or three notches when someone starts with all the grunting. Maybe like 1 out of every 100 poops, I actually have to put in the kind of effort that would require any sort of audible grunting. Eat a ####### salad or a bran muffin every once in a while so the rest of us can #### in piece.
Had a very odd bathroom experience the other day. Some dude walks into the stall next to me, stands on the side of the toilet (I could see his heels underneath the wall between us) and proceeds to start making noises that I could only describe as a combination of spitting, panting, groaning and what sounded like diarrhea hitting the water (only without any sort of farting noise). Best guess is that the poor guy was emptying a colostomy bag or something, but that doesn't really explain the spitting (do you have suck on a hose or something to get a siphon going?)
Needless to say, I got out of there as soon as possible.
The annoyance level jumps up two or three notches when someone starts with all the grunting. Maybe like 1 out of every 100 poops, I actually have to put in the kind of effort that would require any sort of audible grunting. Eat a ####### salad or a bran muffin every once in a while so the rest of us can #### in piece.
Had a very odd bathroom experience the other day. Some dude walks into the stall next to me, stands on the side of the toilet (I could see his heels underneath the wall between us) and proceeds to start making noises that I could only describe as a combination of spitting, panting, groaning and what sounded like diarrhea hitting the water (only without any sort of farting noise). Best guess is that the poor guy was emptying a colostomy bag or something, but that doesn't really explain the spitting (do you have suck on a hose or something to get a siphon going?)
Needless to say, I got out of there as soon as possible.
nirad3
Footballguy
I have one of these poor saps in my office. I've had to endure this at least 3-4 times and I've almost thrown up each time.
Ghost Rider
Footballguy
Always better to do it at work. Might as well get paid for it.
At my work, we have three men's rooms, one of which has one stall and one urinal, and the other two are just one for one person (a normal toilet). I always use the single for the extra business.
At my work, we have three men's rooms, one of which has one stall and one urinal, and the other two are just one for one person (a normal toilet). I always use the single for the extra business.
Arid Filch
Footballguy
I would rather this man take a #### next to my wife/daughter. I will wait until they both finish and then go in with a newspaper.
In The Zone
Footballguy
Ministry of Pain
Footballguy
Just going to the bathroom at work to drop a deuce shows that you are not regular and don't unload at 6am like most healthy eating citizens so you are showing a lot of folks at work you have no control over what you eat if your plump waistline isn't already a beacon for fat everywhere.
Feeling better?
Feeling better?
Don't Noonan
Footballguy
No, not really. Maybe we should start a poll on who takes a daily crap in the morning
Ministry of Pain
Footballguy
Don't Noonan
Footballguy
My roommates and I kept a chart in college, I came in last at .66 craps a day.
The Duff Man
Footballguy
I am lucky enough to have my own washroom, but the wall must be paper thin between my throne room and the office next door. I can hear him talking on the phone while I am in there.
I doubt he can hear me, but I try to go into stealth mode or turn on the fan for cover. I figure it must suck sitting at your desk to work and listening to your boss dropping a load.
I doubt he can hear me, but I try to go into stealth mode or turn on the fan for cover. I figure it must suck sitting at your desk to work and listening to your boss dropping a load.
Todem
Footballguy
At my office (3 floor building) we have two urinals and one stall per floor per restroom.
Between 10-10:30 I see the same guy duck in there like clockwork to take his daily dump. This ####er drops Hiroshuma's like it's going out of style, and stinks up the entire bathroom everyday. I actually need to go down to the second floor to take a piss because of his foul stench lingering in there for at least 45-60 minutes post deposit.
Seriously bro. So finally after months of this crapfest....I walk up to him one day and said "hey can you do all of us a favor, since you have this schedule of taking a dump at work in our bathroom. Can you either bring some poopery spray or at least a book of matches and have some "taking a dump at work etiquette"? Your ####### killing me Smalls. True story.
He obliged and now lights a couple of matches after his dump. Thank god man. It was ridiculous.
What's this have to do with this thread you ask? Mostly nothing......but I never take a dump at work unless I have no choice. I prefer the peace and tranquility (as well as sanitary) confines of my own bathroom at home. If I had multiple stalls at work I would for sure wait till no one is there. I just like privacy when taking a dump. Plus I don't want to smell anyone #### other than mine if I can help it.
#### that.
Between 10-10:30 I see the same guy duck in there like clockwork to take his daily dump. This ####er drops Hiroshuma's like it's going out of style, and stinks up the entire bathroom everyday. I actually need to go down to the second floor to take a piss because of his foul stench lingering in there for at least 45-60 minutes post deposit.
Seriously bro. So finally after months of this crapfest....I walk up to him one day and said "hey can you do all of us a favor, since you have this schedule of taking a dump at work in our bathroom. Can you either bring some poopery spray or at least a book of matches and have some "taking a dump at work etiquette"? Your ####### killing me Smalls. True story.
He obliged and now lights a couple of matches after his dump. Thank god man. It was ridiculous.
What's this have to do with this thread you ask? Mostly nothing......but I never take a dump at work unless I have no choice. I prefer the peace and tranquility (as well as sanitary) confines of my own bathroom at home. If I had multiple stalls at work I would for sure wait till no one is there. I just like privacy when taking a dump. Plus I don't want to smell anyone #### other than mine if I can help it.
#### that.
Todem
Footballguy
I unload every morning around 7:30AM after my morning workout. Highly regular thank God.
BowieMercs
Footballguy
When ya gotta go, ya gotta go. If you have celiac, crohns or are lactose intolerant you are not concerned with the voiding timing or duration of others 
fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
Was just at the urinal, finished up and went to the sink to wash hands. Someone was sitting in the master suite and the little stall was unoccupied. Someone else walks in, sees the situation, turns and leaves.
Kanil
Footballguy
Todem
Footballguy
mr. furley
Footballguy
2 stalls in the office bathroom. only about 8 guys. there are two guys who don't give a damn. everyone else respects the 1 at a time rule.
no shock that the 2 guys who don't care if someone else is in there are the most awkward, loudest and want to talk.
older guy wants to talk, shake hands and then brushes his hair after using the facilities. i dunno. #### is weird to me.
no shock that the 2 guys who don't care if someone else is in there are the most awkward, loudest and want to talk.
older guy wants to talk, shake hands and then brushes his hair after using the facilities. i dunno. #### is weird to me.
ChainsawU
Footballguy
I agree that we aren't farm animals and if your mind/body/spirit is in harmony it wouldn't be necessary. However after reading everything you guys wrote I do empathize with people who have an intestinal disorder. Also, maybe some people are subconsciously ashamed of themselves for being unhealthy and having to crap in public. It really goes to show you, on so many levels, how much difference it makes to be responsible and learn a little bit about how your body works before unleashing it on the rest of us.
ChainsawU
Footballguy
The only place this thread applies to me is at the gym. And when I hear dudes in the stall taking a crap while talking on the phone it drives me up the wall. It is the combination of device addiction, bad manners, bad hygiene, and the utter obliviousness to right and wrong that gets me. So I make noises. Fart noises - loud, circus clown fart noises with my mouth - so that your wife or whomever is on the other end of that line with you will know without a doubt that you are in the crapper. A public crapper, talking on the phone.
Then a couple days ago I saw a dude freestyling at the urinal, taking a pee with both hands on his cellphone. It was not a proud moment.
fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
Got a new one, this one has me confused.
Was just sitting in the large stall, bathroom is empty - someone comes in, goes into the little stall. I can see their feet, they stand, pee, flush and leave. Why did this person chose to come into the little stall and not go to the urinal? Is this something people do?
Was just sitting in the large stall, bathroom is empty - someone comes in, goes into the little stall. I can see their feet, they stand, pee, flush and leave. Why did this person chose to come into the little stall and not go to the urinal? Is this something people do?
Scoresman
Footballguy
There's a dude I work with who goes into a stall to sit down and pee. People do weird things.
RUSF18
Footballguy
Some people have stage fright when potentially peeing in front of others. He was probably nervous someone else would walk in.
Or, if you have bad/no dividers between the urinals...tiny schlong.
Leroy Hoard
Footballguy
Repeated flushing also works.ChainsawU said:
ChiefD
Footballguy
nirad3
Footballguy
This happens at my office. Only thing I could chalk it up to is the fact that losers piss all over the floor at the urinals. Maybe the guy doesn't want to stand in piss?
Also, pissing all over the floor at the urinal is disgusting. Hey morons, your shriveled little peanut is going to drip. Get closer to the effing urinal.
RUSF18
Footballguy
Guy today walked in just to grab a paper towel to blow his nose apparently.
(there are boxes of tissues all over the office)
nirad3
Footballguy
Probably one of those guys that has to poop in private and didn't want it to be "weird" by just coming in and leaving.
Don't Noonan
Footballguy
I went to the urinal the other day in my office and the stall door was closed. I did my business and never heard anything from the stall. Washed my hands and was leaving the bathroom when I heard a loud thunderous fart echo off the walls. Just so happens a women was about to enter the bathroom directly accross so it was perfect timing.
belljr
Footballguy
Tissues fall apart on me, I prefer a paper towel 
EYLive
Footballguy
Our office restrooms are a single rooms with a toilet and a sink, no stalls. One of my colleagues will wait outside the men's room until it's unoccupied. It's weird and uncomfortable because there are other restrooms in the building. But he insists on standing in the hallway until it's vacated.
A normal person will use another restroom or go to another floor or just go back to their desk and come back in 10 minutes. Not this guy, he'll stand there for as long as it takes.
A normal person will use another restroom or go to another floor or just go back to their desk and come back in 10 minutes. Not this guy, he'll stand there for as long as it takes.
VA703
Footballguy
was finishing up in the bathroom today and some dude runs in and plops down bare ### on the piss covered toilet seat.. I didn't even hear any urgent diarrhea explosions.. I guess some people don't build a nest??????
also whjatsup with the people who have their pants around their ankles when ####ting in public, theres crap and piss on that floor..
also whjatsup with the people who have their pants around their ankles when ####ting in public, theres crap and piss on that floor..
Arizona Ron
Footballguy
So, I started using a Squatty Potty at my house and now when I poop at work it have to poop twice. Meaning, I do a poop and like 30 mins later I need to poop again. Never happens when I poop at home. I thought it would be pretty weird if I brought one to work and strolled down the hall with my Squatty Potty each time I need to poop because no way would I leave one in there.
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