Blue dot during tonight's red carpet (1 Viewer)

[McGarnicle]

So because I've been doing so much yard work this weekend, Mrs. McGarnicle said she'd blow my meat whistle today. I suggested it should happen during tonight's Oscar red carpet extravaganza and she agreed. I then stated that maybe I should select an actress whose appearance on the carpet tonight would get things rolling.

Jennifer Lawrence is a no-brainer, right? I don't want to overthink this. Is there any way to obtain a roster of all the talent scheduled to walk the red carpet? I'd hate to go with Lawrence and then 3 minutes later, here comes Mila Kunis or Selena Gomez. Any input here would be much appreciated.

 

[shadyridr]

Has your life really come to this

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

Hopefully you aren't into black chicks.

 

[AcerFC]

If I would have said that to my wife, she would have told me to fly to LA and get said actress to give me a bj before not talking to me the rest of the day

 

[eoMMan]

Brie Larson is a definite for lots of attention.

 

[McGarnicle]

Brie Larson is a definite for lots of attention.

Not a bad choice. My wife wouldn't feel threatened by her which is a huge plus.

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

Leo's mom FTW

 

[shadyridr]

George clooney is dreamy

 

[jon_mx]

So you are going to start with some chick and finish with some dude?   

Nice planning!  

 

[pollardsvision]

Not a bad choice. My wife wouldn't feel threatened by her which is a huge plus.

The other route to go would be someone so insanely, ridiculously hot that it would be unthinkable for you to ever have a shot with her. Not that you have a shot with Brie Larson, but your utter unworthiness for her still might pale in comparison to your unworthiness for someone like Jennifer Lawrence.

Who knows  It's quite a nuanced decision here, picking just the right piece of tail for an Oscar beej from the ol' lady.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Jodie Seeetin from Full House has developed nicely

 

[Brony]

The Oscar statue

 

[James Daulton]

Why would you wait?  Get it while the gettins good.  What if she develops a headache or starts to not feel good?  Then your good and not ####ed.

 

[FUBAR]

The real question is does the wife deserve an Oscar?  

 

[-jb-]

Mad Max nominated so Charlize in play. 

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Precious from the novel Push by Sapphire.

 

[gianmarco]

At least this sounds much better than the converse:  Having sex while on her period during a Boise State football game.

 

[Aerial Assault]

This had the makings of a fantastic thread.  Would someone please help McGarnicle out?  

 

[McGarnicle]

Happens with most threads I start.

 

[joey]

BB8 might roll through since SW:TFA is up for the VFX Oscar. 

If you like 'em short and round. 

 

[dickey moe]

Hopefully you aren't into black chicks.

LMAO

 

[eoMMan]

Do you have to give her a pink dot if Matt Damon comes on screen?

 

[McGarnicle]

Finally got everything done outside and I'm filthy and exhausted. These are the only times I like to take a really hot bath and just shut my eyes and lay there, spent, sore, but relaxed and weirdly satisfied with all I got done. She comes up and hands me a cold beer as I'm laying there in the hot water.

The red carpet thing is now a moot point but thanks for all the responses.

 

[gianmarco]

WWARD?

 

[Johnny Rock]

Can she you make a pole poll?

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Update?  Where's Mrs. McGargle?

 

[James Daulton]

Finally got everything done outside and I'm filthy and exhausted. These are the only times I like to take a really hot bath and just shut my eyes and lay there, spent, sore, but relaxed and weirdly satisfied with all I got done. She comes up and hands me a cold beer as I'm laying there in the hot water.

The red carpet thing is now a moot point but thanks for all the responses.

So it went from a bj to a beer in a dirty bath tub?  Lucky guy...

 

[James Daulton]

Update?  Where's Mrs. McGargle?

I see what you did there bro.  Very nice.

 

[SIDA!]

Why would you wait?  Get it while the gettins good.  What if she develops a headache or starts to not feel good?  Then your good and not ####ed.

This guy knows things. 

 

[James Daulton]

This guy knows things. 

Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice...

 

[ChainsawU]

I just took a bath, Jerry. A bath.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

I see what you did there bro.  Very nice.

 

[cstu]

It's that time of the month...red carpet during the red carpet?

 

[lakerstan]

Alicia Vikander  /thread.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

It's that time of the month...red carpet during the red carpet?

Is there a welcome mat at the back door?

 

[James Daulton]

This ####### story better have a better conclusion then the one we've been given so far.

 

[Willie Neslon]

And they said is was going to be a bad night for The Big Short.

 

[cstu]

Is there a welcome mat at the back door?

Yes, but I'd have to wait for the end.

 

[sports_fan]

Like an Oscar Mayer weiner whistle?

 

[bud29]

Update?

 

[Tom Servo]

The real question is does the wife deserve an Oscar?  

Best actress for faking enjoyment of marital relations?

 

[BroncoFreak_2K3]

Best Actress in an Animated Short

 

[Cowboysfan8]

So it went from a bj to a beer in a dirty bath tub?  Lucky guy...

I read it as he got the blue dot while laying in a pool of his own filth enjoying a cold beer

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Best Actress in an Animated Short

lol

 

[Aerial Assault]

I read it as he got the blue dot while laying in a pool of his own filth enjoying a cold beer

I read it much the same way you did, just minus the blue dot    

 

[McGarnicle]

I GOT OUT OF THE TUB, DRIED OFF, AND WE HAD RELATIONS.

JFC you people.

 

[Andrew74]

A little piece of us all died reading this thread. 

 

[James Daulton]

I GOT OUT OF THE TUB, DRIED OFF, AND WE HAD RELATIONS.

JFC you people.

I tried to warn them, but they did not listen.  

 

[tri-man 47]

I GOT OUT OF THE TUB, DRIED OFF, AND WE HAD RELATIONS.

JFC you people.

Washed off, dried off, got off?  Got it.