try this on for size
i'm an early is better, never late guy. she's a "no one tells me what time to be anywhere" person.
we used to "discuss" this often.
she said (to paraphrase, but i've heard it a billion times):
"if you ask me to be ready by a certain time i feel like you're trying to force me to do something i don't want to do. if you tell me we have to be somewhere at a certain time then i feel like you're bullying me in to do something i don't want to do. if you don't tell me what time to be ready then i assume you don't care and aren't in a hurry so why should i rush. if you tell me after we're already late and i'm not ready it's your fault for not telling me when to be ready. if you don't give me ideas of what you want to do then i just assume we aren't doing anything because you don't care anymore. if you tell me what you want to do then i feel obligated to do what you want even if i don't want to so i'm not going to hurry to do it."
i like to get moving on the weekends. there's only so much daylight and i want to enjoy it. used to make me nuts when we had plans and she would slow play until the lunch hour before finally being "ready" (which as every guy knows means.. 15 more minutes).
we could get up at 7 on a saturday with plans to do yard work/travel/anything and she would not be ready until noon. she lays on the couch, naps, wanders around the house, whatever to kill time until noon. the clock must read past 12 PM or she will not step foot out the door for virtually any reason.
now.. i don't bother asking. if there are things i want done, plans i have, i just get up and go. take the kids with me and we're gone. i can GUARANTEE within 10-15 minutes of the noon whistle my phone will ring.... "hey, i'm almost ready... what are
we doing for lunch? should i meet you somewhere or are you picking me up?" . if we're close i'll swing by and SHE WILL STILL BE GETTING READY even if it's 30 minutes later.
i've taken to not bothering to include her in weekend plans. the kids and i go and when we come back, we come back. if i come home before 12 and she wants me to wait to do something, i leave if she's taking too long.
it hasn't changed her behavior remotely. not even a little bit. she's mad but... #### it.. i'm not wasting my life waiting 3-4 hours every saturday & sunday for her to get ready.
takes me 10-15 minutes to shower, shave and get dressed. even that feels like too much. can't imagine spending 3-4 hours "getting ready" when it's summer, nice weather and there are other options.

she can't imagine being told what to do.. and she can interpret ANYTHING as "being told what to do".