David Letterman's "Top Ten Signs There's Trouble at Fox N (1 Viewer)

[perry147]

10. Accidentally said something positive about a Democrat

9. News ticker reads 'Bosses crazy, send help'

8. Today's top story: Is there anything more delicious than bacon?

7. Been criticizing Obama for not doing enough to prevent World War I

6. Bill O'Reilly inviting guests to enter the 'No Pants Zone'

5. Crime stories eerily similar to plot of most recent 'Hawaii Five-O'

4. Spent five hours today breaking down the Mets playoff chances

3. Thinking about hiring Rick Sanchez

2. Since June, Glenn Beck has been doing this nonstop (Beck barking)

1. They're thinking of giving the 10:00 p.m. slot to Leno

 

[biggamer3]

These top 10 lists stopped being funny since I was born

 

[Black Box]

So no trouble at Fox N?

 

[Ghost Rider]

Eh, a couple of those made me chuckle a tad, but imagine if the David Letterman of the 80s had done that list. Ya know, the Letterman that was edgy and not afraid to offend anyone.

 

[Godsbrother]

These top 10 lists stopped being funny since I was born

They were never funny

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Eh, a couple of those made me chuckle a tad, but imagine if the David Letterman of the 80s had done that list. Ya know, the Letterman that was edgy and not afraid to offend anyone.

like this one from 1987:Bernhard Goetz's Top 10 Pickup Lines:10. "Excuse me, Miss. I was shooting at the gentleman next to you. 9. "How'd you like to double date with the Sliwas?" 8. "Care to dance with an intense gun-toting loner?" 7. "You would have a very curvy chalk outline." 6. "I hate these pistol ranges, they're just meat markets." 5. "Sure, I know Gabe Pressman personally." 4. "Give me a scotch and soda and see what the punk on the floor will have." 3. "Which do you think is funnier - Deathwish II or Deathwish III?" 2. "The evening is young. Let's clean up this town." 1. "That is a gun in my pocket, and I am glad to see you."

 

[biggamer3]

These top 10 lists stopped being funny since I was born

They were never funny

haha, I figured at one point they had to be funny since this shtick has been going on for so long

 

[biggamer3]

Eh, a couple of those made me chuckle a tad, but imagine if the David Letterman of the 80s had done that list. Ya know, the Letterman that was edgy and not afraid to offend anyone.

like this one from 1987:

Bernhard Goetz's Top 10 Pickup Lines:

10. "Excuse me, Miss. I was shooting at the gentleman next to you.

9. "How'd you like to double date with the Sliwas?"

8. "Care to dance with an intense gun-toting loner?"

7. "You would have a very curvy chalk outline."

6. "I hate these pistol ranges, they're just meat markets."

5. "Sure, I know Gabe Pressman personally."

4. "Give me a scotch and soda and see what the punk on the floor will have."

3. "Which do you think is funnier - Deathwish II or Deathwish III?"

2. "The evening is young. Let's clean up this town."

1. "That is a gun in my pocket, and I am glad to see you."

no clue who Goetz was or whatever but that is hilarious

 

[videoguy505]

5. "Sure, I know Gabe Pressman personally."

Silly Dave. Did anyone outside of the NYC metro area know who Gabe was in '87?

 

[dennis.moore]

Letterman used to be funny, but isn't no more. Though he is funnier than Leno, but who isn't.

Craig Ferguson is funny as hell.

 

[perry147]

Eh, a couple of those made me chuckle a tad, but imagine if the David Letterman of the 80s had done that list. Ya know, the Letterman that was edgy and not afraid to offend anyone.

like this one from 1987:

Bernhard Goetz's Top 10 Pickup Lines:

10. "Excuse me, Miss. I was shooting at the gentleman next to you.

9. "How'd you like to double date with the Sliwas?"

8. "Care to dance with an intense gun-toting loner?"

7. "You would have a very curvy chalk outline."

6. "I hate these pistol ranges, they're just meat markets."

5. "Sure, I know Gabe Pressman personally."

4. "Give me a scotch and soda and see what the punk on the floor will have."

3. "Which do you think is funnier - Deathwish II or Deathwish III?"

2. "The evening is young. Let's clean up this town."

1. "That is a gun in my pocket, and I am glad to see you."

no clue who Goetz was or whatever but that is hilarious http://cdn.guyism.com/wp-content/uploads/A...Health-0104.jpg

Goetz = Subway shooter.

 

[Ghost Rider]

Saying the top 10 lists have never been funny is crazy talk.

Remember a few years ago when that father and son attacked the first base coach of the White Sox? Letterman did a top 10 reasons why they did it list and one of them was: Pete Rose bet us we wouldn't do it.

 

[QuizGuy66]

5. "Sure, I know Gabe Pressman personally."

Silly Dave. Did anyone outside of the NYC metro area know who Gabe was in '87?

Always loved that NYC edge to the show. I'm not sure that Gabe didn't briefly turn up on nbc proper during that era.-QG

 

[koby925]

Eh, a couple of those made me chuckle a tad, but imagine if the David Letterman of the 80s had done that list. Ya know, the Letterman that was edgy and not afraid to offend anyone.

like this one from 1987:

Bernhard Goetz's Top 10 Pickup Lines:

10. "Excuse me, Miss. I was shooting at the gentleman next to you.

9. "How'd you like to double date with the Sliwas?"

8. "Care to dance with an intense gun-toting loner?"

7. "You would have a very curvy chalk outline."

6. "I hate these pistol ranges, they're just meat markets."

5. "Sure, I know Gabe Pressman personally."

4. "Give me a scotch and soda and see what the punk on the floor will have."

3. "Which do you think is funnier - Deathwish II or Deathwish III?"

2. "The evening is young. Let's clean up this town."

1. "That is a gun in my pocket, and I am glad to see you."

no clue who Goetz was or whatever but that is hilarious http://cdn.guyism.com/wp-content/uploads/A...Health-0104.jpg

Goetz = Subway shooter Vigilante.

Fixed

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

These top 10 lists stopped being funny since I was born

They were never funny

wrong

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Eh, a couple of those made me chuckle a tad, but imagine if the David Letterman of the 80s had done that list. Ya know, the Letterman that was edgy and not afraid to offend anyone.

like this one from 1987:

Bernhard Goetz's Top 10 Pickup Lines:

10. "Excuse me, Miss. I was shooting at the gentleman next to you.

9. "How'd you like to double date with the Sliwas?"

8. "Care to dance with an intense gun-toting loner?"

7. "You would have a very curvy chalk outline."

6. "I hate these pistol ranges, they're just meat markets."

5. "Sure, I know Gabe Pressman personally."

4. "Give me a scotch and soda and see what the punk on the floor will have."

3. "Which do you think is funnier - Deathwish II or Deathwish III?"

2. "The evening is young. Let's clean up this town."

1. "That is a gun in my pocket, and I am glad to see you."

no clue who Goetz was or whatever but that is hilarious

good lord

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Top Ten Amish Pick-up lines

10. Are thee at barn-raisings often?

9. If our religion didn't forbid the use of telephones, I would ask

thee for thy number.

8. Can I buy thee a buttermilk colada?

7. You've really got the build for that plain bonnet and shapeless

black dress.

6. Say, my favorite movie is Witness too!

5. Are thee a model?

4. There are so many phonies at these quilting bees. Let's go someplace

quiet.

3. Thy buggy has a #####in' lacquer job.

2. I got Sinatra tickets.

1. Are thee up for some plowing.

 

[Desert_Power]

Letterman used to be funny, but isn't no more. Though he is funnier than Leno, but who isn't.

Craig Ferguson is funny as hell.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Top Ten Amish Pick-up lines1. Are thee up for some plowing.

 

[scoobygang]

Eh, a couple of those made me chuckle a tad, but imagine if the David Letterman of the 80s had done that list. Ya know, the Letterman that was edgy and not afraid to offend anyone.

like this one from 1987:

Bernhard Goetz's Top 10 Pickup Lines:

10. "Excuse me, Miss. I was shooting at the gentleman next to you.

9. "How'd you like to double date with the Sliwas?"

8. "Care to dance with an intense gun-toting loner?"

7. "You would have a very curvy chalk outline."

6. "I hate these pistol ranges, they're just meat markets."

5. "Sure, I know Gabe Pressman personally."

4. "Give me a scotch and soda and see what the punk on the floor will have."

3. "Which do you think is funnier - Deathwish II or Deathwish III?"

2. "The evening is young. Let's clean up this town."

1. "That is a gun in my pocket, and I am glad to see you."

no clue who Goetz was or whatever but that is hilarious

good lord

I was the only one in my criminal law class of 65 students who had heard of Goetz. It was depressing.

 

[SlaX]

Letterman was funny in the 80's when he was on after Carson. Since then, not so much.

 

[perry147]

Letterman was funny in the 80's when he was on after Carson. Since then, not so much.

It was like he was auditioning for something.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

no clue who Goetz was or whatever but that is hilarious

Pick pocket gangsters paying their debtsCaught a bullet in the lung from Bernie Goetz

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Eh, a couple of those made me chuckle a tad, but imagine if the David Letterman of the 80s had done that list. Ya know, the Letterman that was edgy and not afraid to offend anyone.

like this one from 1987:

Bernhard Goetz's Top 10 Pickup Lines:

10. "Excuse me, Miss. I was shooting at the gentleman next to you.

9. "How'd you like to double date with the Sliwas?"

8. "Care to dance with an intense gun-toting loner?"

7. "You would have a very curvy chalk outline."

6. "I hate these pistol ranges, they're just meat markets."

5. "Sure, I know Gabe Pressman personally."

4. "Give me a scotch and soda and see what the punk on the floor will have."

3. "Which do you think is funnier - Deathwish II or Deathwish III?"

2. "The evening is young. Let's clean up this town."

1. "That is a gun in my pocket, and I am glad to see you."

no clue who Goetz was or whatever but that is hilarious

good lord

I was the only one in my criminal law class of 65 students who had heard of Goetz. It was depressing.

Jeez"Not to know what happened before we were born is to remain perpetually a child..." Cicero

 

[videoguy505]

I was the only one in my criminal law class of 65 students who had heard of Goetz. It was depressing.

Jesus, not even one "AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz!" We Didn't Start The Fire response?

Our future's in the crapper.

 

[koby925]

I was the only one in my criminal law class of 65 students who had heard of Goetz. It was depressing.

Jesus, not even one "AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz!" We Didn't Start The Fire response?

Our future's in the crapper.

Seriously, did you go to law school abroad?

 

[perry147]

I was the only one in my criminal law class of 65 students who had heard of Goetz. It was depressing.

Jesus, not even one "AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz!" We Didn't Start The Fire response?

Our future's in the crapper.

Foreign debts, homeless Vets

 

[the hairy scotsman]

Eh, a couple of those made me chuckle a tad, but imagine if the David Letterman of the 80s had done that list. Ya know, the Letterman that was edgy and not afraid to offend anyone.

Exactly.I was a huge Letterman fan at one time, but the guy stopped being funny years ago.

 

[scoobygang]

I was the only one in my criminal law class of 65 students who had heard of Goetz. It was depressing.

Jesus, not even one "AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz!" We Didn't Start The Fire response?

Our future's in the crapper.

Seriously, did you go to law school abroad?

Univesity of Virginia. Chock full of young, earnest Ivy League graduates who really couldn't place how old 35 actually was. They were either amazed that I remembered stuff from the 80s or they thought I used to hang out at Studio 54 doing coke off of strippers' backs.

 

[DevilsTrifecta]

Top Ten Courses for Athletes at SMU

-----------------------------------------------------------------

10. Subtraction: Addition's Tricky Pal

9. The First 30 Pages of "A Tale of Two Cities": Foundation of

a Classic

8. Sandwich-making (final project required)

7. Alumni-owned Hotels, Resturants, and Car Dealerships: The

Interlocking Economy

6. Pre-Law Seminar: Age of Consent in the 50 States

5. The Denny's Menu: Recent Discoveries

4. The Bunny and the Wolf: Hand Shadow Workshop

3. Draw Winky

2. From "First Love" to "Looker": The Films in Which Susan Dey

Appears Naked

1. The Poetry of Hank Stram

 

[the hairy scotsman]

I was the only one in my criminal law class of 65 students who had heard of Goetz. It was depressing.

Jesus, not even one "AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz!" We Didn't Start The Fire response?

Our future's in the crapper.

Seriously, did you go to law school abroad?

Univesity of Virginia. Chock full of young, earnest Ivy League graduates who really couldn't place how old 35 actually was. They were either amazed that I remembered stuff from the 80s or they thought I used to hang out at Studio 54 doing coke off of strippers' backs.

 

[Hang 10]

10. Accidentally said something positive about a Democrat 9. News ticker reads 'Bosses crazy, send help' 8. Today's top story: Is there anything more delicious than bacon? 7. Been criticizing Obama for not doing enough to prevent World War I 6. Bill O'Reilly inviting guests to enter the 'No Pants Zone' 5. Crime stories eerily similar to plot of most recent 'Hawaii Five-O' 4. Spent five hours today breaking down the Mets playoff chances 3. Thinking about hiring Rick Sanchez 2. Since June, Glenn Beck has been doing this nonstop (Beck barking) 1. They're thinking of giving the 10:00 p.m. slot to Leno

That could easily be changed to the top ten signs dave isn't funny anymore.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Top Ten Courses for Athletes at SMU-----------------------------------------------------------------10. Subtraction: Addition's Tricky Pal 9. The First 30 Pages of "A Tale of Two Cities": Foundation of a Classic 8. Sandwich-making (final project required) 7. Alumni-owned Hotels, Resturants, and Car Dealerships: The Interlocking Economy 6. Pre-Law Seminar: Age of Consent in the 50 States 5. The Denny's Menu: Recent Discoveries 4. The Bunny and the Wolf: Hand Shadow Workshop 3. Draw Winky 2. From "First Love" to "Looker": The Films in Which Susan Dey Appears Naked 1. The Poetry of Hank Stram

This was one of my favorites.

 

[videoguy505]

10. Accidentally said something positive about a Democrat 9. News ticker reads 'Bosses crazy, send help' 8. Today's top story: Is there anything more delicious than bacon? 7. Been criticizing Obama for not doing enough to prevent World War I 6. Bill O'Reilly inviting guests to enter the 'No Pants Zone' 5. Crime stories eerily similar to plot of most recent 'Hawaii Five-O' 4. Spent five hours today breaking down the Mets playoff chances 3. Thinking about hiring Rick Sanchez 2. Since June, Glenn Beck has been doing this nonstop (Beck barking) 1. They're thinking of giving the 10:00 p.m. slot to Leno

That could easily be changed to the top ten signs dave isn't funny anymore.

Seriously, after reading the rest of the thread, the list in the OP isn't at all close to funny.

 

[shut it down]

Eh, a couple of those made me chuckle a tad, but imagine if the David Letterman of the 80s had done that list. Ya know, the Letterman that was edgy and not afraid to offend anyone.

like this one from 1987:

Bernhard Goetz's Top 10 Pickup Lines:

10. "Excuse me, Miss. I was shooting at the gentleman next to you.

9. "How'd you like to double date with the Sliwas?"

8. "Care to dance with an intense gun-toting loner?"

7. "You would have a very curvy chalk outline."

6. "I hate these pistol ranges, they're just meat markets."

5. "Sure, I know Gabe Pressman personally."

4. "Give me a scotch and soda and see what the punk on the floor will have."

3. "Which do you think is funnier - Deathwish II or Deathwish III?"

2. "The evening is young. Let's clean up this town."

1. "That is a gun in my pocket, and I am glad to see you."

no clue who Goetz was or whatever but that is hilarious

From: Brooklyn

 

[perry147]

10. Accidentally said something positive about a Democrat 9. News ticker reads 'Bosses crazy, send help' 8. Today's top story: Is there anything more delicious than bacon? 7. Been criticizing Obama for not doing enough to prevent World War I 6. Bill O'Reilly inviting guests to enter the 'No Pants Zone' 5. Crime stories eerily similar to plot of most recent 'Hawaii Five-O' 4. Spent five hours today breaking down the Mets playoff chances 3. Thinking about hiring Rick Sanchez 2. Since June, Glenn Beck has been doing this nonstop (Beck barking) 1. They're thinking of giving the 10:00 p.m. slot to Leno

That could easily be changed to the top ten signs dave isn't funny anymore.

Seriously, after reading the rest of the thread, the list in the OP isn't at all close to funny.

Humor is subjective.

 

[QuizGuy66]

Top Ten Courses for Athletes at SMU-----------------------------------------------------------------10. Subtraction: Addition's Tricky Pal 9. The First 30 Pages of "A Tale of Two Cities": Foundation of a Classic 8. Sandwich-making (final project required) 7. Alumni-owned Hotels, Resturants, and Car Dealerships: The Interlocking Economy 6. Pre-Law Seminar: Age of Consent in the 50 States 5. The Denny's Menu: Recent Discoveries 4. The Bunny and the Wolf: Hand Shadow Workshop 3. Draw Winky 2. From "First Love" to "Looker": The Films in Which Susan Dey Appears Naked 1. The Poetry of Hank Stram

This was one of my favorites.

Scary that I am remembering these.I mean the SMU scandal was what - 25 years ago or so now?!? -QG

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Eh, a couple of those made me chuckle a tad, but imagine if the David Letterman of the 80s had done that list. Ya know, the Letterman that was edgy and not afraid to offend anyone.

like this one from 1987:

Bernhard Goetz's Top 10 Pickup Lines:

10. "Excuse me, Miss. I was shooting at the gentleman next to you.

9. "How'd you like to double date with the Sliwas?"

8. "Care to dance with an intense gun-toting loner?"

7. "You would have a very curvy chalk outline."

6. "I hate these pistol ranges, they're just meat markets."

5. "Sure, I know Gabe Pressman personally."

4. "Give me a scotch and soda and see what the punk on the floor will have."

3. "Which do you think is funnier - Deathwish II or Deathwish III?"

2. "The evening is young. Let's clean up this town."

1. "That is a gun in my pocket, and I am glad to see you."

no clue who Goetz was or whatever but that is hilarious

From: Brooklyn

Maybe he means Brooklyn, Iowa.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

One of my all time favor lines in a Top 10 was about some boxer who had lost. Like Top Ten Mike Tyson Excuses or something.

"Distracted by the ghost of Shemp cavorting at ringside".

Another similar one was about a losing Superbowl team. Top Ten [Redskins/Bills/whatever] excuses.

"Some of those big guys were shoving."

 

[Sam Quentin]

Top Ten Amish Pick-up lines1. Are thee up for some plowing.

 

[flapgreen]

My buddy is going to be on Letterman tonight. Said Letterman points him out in the band at the end. Pretty cool

 

[pizzatyme]

Letterman quit being funny when he went full liberal about 15 years ago. That's about the time he started banging interns.

 

[flapgreen]

Never been a fan

 

[Tackling Dummies]

1 meowmeowbeenz.

 

[Apes with Guns]

These top 10 lists stopped being funny since I was born

They were never funny

this is wrong

 

[Sarnoff]

My buddy is going to be on Letterman tonight. Said Letterman points him out in the band at the end. Pretty cool

Does he play drums?

 

[Apes with Guns]

Eh, a couple of those made me chuckle a tad, but imagine if the David Letterman of the 80s had done that list. Ya know, the Letterman that was edgy and not afraid to offend anyone.

like this one from 1987:

Bernhard Goetz's Top 10 Pickup Lines:

10. "Excuse me, Miss. I was shooting at the gentleman next to you.

9. "How'd you like to double date with the Sliwas?"

8. "Care to dance with an intense gun-toting loner?"

7. "You would have a very curvy chalk outline."

6. "I hate these pistol ranges, they're just meat markets."

5. "Sure, I know Gabe Pressman personally."

4. "Give me a scotch and soda and see what the punk on the floor will have."

3. "Which do you think is funnier - Deathwish II or Deathwish III?"

2. "The evening is young. Let's clean up this town."

1. "That is a gun in my pocket, and I am glad to see you."

no clue who Goetz was or whatever but that is hilarious

good lord

Nobody in my law school class knew who he was either. It made me feel very, very old.

aids. crack. what else is there to know? the troof is boring, but the song is excellent.

 

[Apes with Guns]

Once upon a time, the country you know as Germany was split in twain (two). However, no matter what state Germany or Germanies were in, France was always in danger of being conquered by them. (not quite true, but go with it)

Because of that, when France heard that Germany was getting the band back together, they were a-scared. So this top ten list was written to poke fun at the history of France and Germany(ies).

And it is one of my favorites.

Top 10 Ways France Is Preparing for the German Reunification

10. Dialing 911.
9. Installing speed bumps to slow down Panzers.
8. Cutting bedsheets into convenient easy-to-wave white rectangles.
7. Watching twice as many Jerry Lewis movies just to keep their
spirits up.
6. Stockpiling Blistex so they can kiss plenty of German butt.
5. Printing up T-shirts that say, "Don't shoot! I'm a collaborator!"
4. Going a really, really long time without bathing.
3. Suddenly acting all chummy with Chuck Norris.
2. Practicing running backwards and blowing kisses.
1. Developing top secret stealth cheese.

 

[glock]

My buddy is going to be on Letterman tonight. Said Letterman points him out in the band at the end. Pretty cool

Does he play drums?

"Did you see the size of the saxophone on that guy??"

 

[HellToupee]

My buddy is going to be on Letterman tonight. Said Letterman points him out in the band at the end. Pretty cool

Does he play drums?

thats some good shtick there by Letterman