Describe a Mundane, Daily Activity... in Coachspeak. (1 Viewer)

[nirad3]

Why do coaches speak the way they do?  It's mainly football coaches.  It's not only the cadence, but how they describe things.  Anyone wanna give this a try?  Describe a mundane, daily activity like brushing your teeth, but tell it as if you were an NFL coach.

This idea may sink to the bottom of the first page here quickly, or it could be the best Friday thread evah.  

I'd give it a try myself but I'm sure there are folks here that will have this schtick down better than I.

Go.

 

[Snorkelson]

“We have a job to do. It ain’t gonna be pretty. This is what we’ve trained for, I want you to think of your parents, your whole family, and your kids, you’ve all sacrificed and you’ve all paid a price. You’ve worked at it you’re entire life, and all your practice is about to pay off. Now is the time- not tomorrow, not in 4 hours, but now, and then we celebrate. And it will feel so good. But for now you need to bear down, focus, put every ounce of effort in you can and then more- anything less and we all get disappointment. Some say it comes down to team, I say it comes down with a thousand points of individual effort. And you know what? Win or lose, this is gonna be fun! And tomorrow we’ll all get up and start do it all again! Now, let’s go!!!

TWO DAT

TWO DAT

TWO DAT

 

[[scooter]]

"Steak has been really good, but you can't count out a veteran like meatloaf, which has been really impressive lately and could be in line for more usage in the weekly rotation."

 

[IvanKaramazov]

I haven't decided yet whether to take my son fishing this weekend or go to the movies with my daughter.  They're both good options and they both bring their own strengths to the table.  My staff and I are going to review the film, see how the week goes, and make a game-time decision.  Ultimately we'll go with whoever gives the family the best opportunity to win on Sunday.

 

[Parrothead]

"we're gonna need to take it one tooth at a time- back and forth until we get it right"

flossing

 

[Plorfu]

"Look, I'm not going to discuss hypotheticals. I'm focused on tonight and tonight only. What happened yesterday, happened yesterday and now it's ancient history. We learn from it and move on. I'm getting ready for tonight and I intend to bring my A game and get this thing back on track."

- Husband responding to infidelity accusation from wife. 

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Our boy Tom had a small issue on the playground today. We can't give you any more info right now, you will have to check the injury report.

 

[Hot Diggity Dog]

We are moving on to Cincinnati. 

Dad why?

We are moving on to Cincinnati. 

What about the kids school?

We are moving on to Cincinnati. 

Did you get a better job there?

We are moving to Cincinnati. 

What about your parents?

We are moving on to Cincinnati. 

What's wrong with here?

We are moving on to Cincinnati. 

On moving to Cincinnati. 

 

[Parrothead]

Does this make me look fat?

NEXT QUESTION

 

[Galileo]

Well, I'll start off by saying this...Do not blame this thread on the moderators, OK.  I don't care what message board you are on...the Curly board, the DCUM board, Redditt, much less the FootballGuys FFA...when you post drivel like the OP, when you post mundane nonsense, you won't be a respected poster on any of those boards I just talked about.  And this is a disgraceful thread in my opinion.  These posts are weak.  These posts chase people away.  In my opinion that sucks.    What's that?  BEST FRIDAY THREAD EVAH!?!  You want to talk about the BEST FRIDAY THREAD EVAH!?  Are you kidding me?  I just hope someone posts something intelligent.

 

[nirad3]

Well, I'll start off by saying this...Do not blame this thread on the moderators, OK.  I don't care what message board you are on...the Curly board, the DCUM board, Redditt, much less the FootballGuys FFA...when you post drivel like the OP, when you post mundane nonsense, you won't be a respected poster on any of those boards I just talked about.  And this is a disgraceful thread in my opinion.  These posts are weak.  These posts chase people away.  In my opinion that sucks.    What's that?  BEST FRIDAY THREAD EVAH!?!  You want to talk about the BEST FRIDAY THREAD EVAH!?  Are you kidding me?  I just hope someone posts something intelligent.