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Do questions make you feel cornered? (1 Viewer)

Do you feel confronted/cornered by every day questions?

  • yes, all of the time

    Votes: 2 3.8%

  • yes, some of the time

    Votes: 11 21.2%

  • no, but occassionally

    Votes: 17 32.7%

  • no, never

    Votes: 22 42.3%
  • Total voters
    52
mr. furley

mr. furley

Footballguy
when people ask you to make plans, or how your weekend went, or if you'll pick up a scrap of paper, etc. do you feel cornered? trapped? like you're being attacked?

if you do, do you generally fold under the pressure and answer or acquiesce? or dig in your heels, ignore the question and/or fight back against the perceived assault?

 
Never.  But my nature is to not be afraid of confrontation.  If somebody asked me a question that seems like an attack I chalk it up to them being defensive or afraid of something or they simply don’t understand my position on the matter. 

 My wife is less comfortable with questions especially ones that may seem critical or may imply that she doesn’t have the right answer. 

 I simply never feel threatened by somebody else’s opinion or their misunderstanding because either I can clear up the misunderstanding or I simply don’t agree with them and that doesn’t bother me in the slightest. 

 
I answered "no, but occasionally" simply because it depends on who is asking.  For 98% of the people in my life, questions are just that: questions. For the other 2%, experience has taught me the questions are a lead-in into something akin to an accusation, attack or similar.

 
I get that way about making plans.  The older I get the more I'm stingy about having my free time constrained.  Even to the point of feeling a reluctance to do things that will be fun. A failing I'm aware of and trying to work on.

 
GregR said:
I get that way about making plans.  The older I get the more I'm stingy about having my free time constrained.  Even to the point of feeling a reluctance to do things that will be fun. A failing I'm aware of and trying to work on.
Click to expand...
i just know my wife will stress me out somehow

 
hagmania said:
Lots of threads concerning anxiety (imo) from you GB.
Click to expand...
indeed

trying to get a variety of opinions on how common some of these things are.. and how people who have these feelings recommend they be approached/talked to so as to not trigger them.

my wife has high anxiety. very high. hard to comprehend high. 

she likes to say "i might have really high anxiety but it's way better than when we met. i've gone from like a  1000 on a scale of 1 - 10 down to like a 150."

which is true, i guess. but she did a really really good job of hiding it/fighting it off until after we got married & had kids. so her decreasing anxiety (going from 1000 on a 1 - 10 scale down to 150) doesn't really feel like an improvement... if that makes sense.

i'm so low stress and low key that it's really difficult to understand how so many things, that are little to me, can cause so much stress.. i'm trying not to put everything off on her and say "well, it's her fault". i'm trying to get a variety of opinions from people who deal with anxiety to understand what i can do differently from my end.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
mr. furley said:
indeed

trying to get a variety of opinions on how common some of these things are.. and how people who have these feelings recommend they be approached/talked to so as to not trigger them.

my wife has high anxiety. very high. hard to comprehend high. 

she likes to say "i might have really high anxiety but it's way better than when we met. i've gone from like a  1000 on a scale of 1 - 10 down to like a 150."

which is true, i guess. but she did a really really good job of hiding it/fighting it off until after we got married & had kids. so her decreasing anxiety (going from 1000 on a 1 - 10 scale down to 150) doesn't really feel like an improvement... if that makes sense.

i'm so low stress and low key that it's really difficult to understand how so many things, that are little to me, can cause so much stress.. i'm trying not to put everything off on her and say "well, it's her fault". i'm trying to get a variety of opinions from people who deal with anxiety to understand what i can do differently from my end.
Click to expand...
I've dealt with what I call "irrational anxiety" over the past few years.  Like I know what I'm upset about isn't a big deal, but I just can't calm down.  It started when I had a huge round of legit anxiety over work/life situations which I didn't handle well and it compounded.  I used to not give an eff about anything, now I can fly off the handle at random, stupid stuff.

However, my wife deals with way more anxiety than I do.  She panics over some of the most basic stuff, but has always been that way (actually, she has improved a bit in our 18 years of marriage).

Feel sorry for our kids.  They've been raised by some anxious parents for the last few years.

 
mr. furley said:
indeed

trying to get a variety of opinions on how common some of these things are.. and how people who have these feelings recommend they be approached/talked to so as to not trigger them.

my wife has high anxiety. very high. hard to comprehend high. 

she likes to say "i might have really high anxiety but it's way better than when we met. i've gone from like a  1000 on a scale of 1 - 10 down to like a 150."

which is true, i guess. but she did a really really good job of hiding it/fighting it off until after we got married & had kids. so her decreasing anxiety (going from 1000 on a 1 - 10 scale down to 150) doesn't really feel like an improvement... if that makes sense.

i'm so low stress and low key that it's really difficult to understand how so many things, that are little to me, can cause so much stress.. i'm trying not to put everything off on her and say "well, it's her fault". i'm trying to get a variety of opinions from people who deal with anxiety to understand what i can do differently from my end.
Click to expand...
:coffee:

:lol: and :hugs: at the bolded you poor dumb *******

 
mr. furley said:
indeed

trying to get a variety of opinions on how common some of these things are.. and how people who have these feelings recommend they be approached/talked to so as to not trigger them.

my wife has high anxiety. very high. hard to comprehend high. 

she likes to say "i might have really high anxiety but it's way better than when we met. i've gone from like a  1000 on a scale of 1 - 10 down to like a 150."

which is true, i guess. but she did a really really good job of hiding it/fighting it off until after we got married & had kids. so her decreasing anxiety (going from 1000 on a 1 - 10 scale down to 150) doesn't really feel like an improvement... if that makes sense.

i'm so low stress and low key that it's really difficult to understand how so many things, that are little to me, can cause so much stress.. i'm trying not to put everything off on her and say "well, it's her fault". i'm trying to get a variety of opinions from people who deal with anxiety to understand what i can do differently from my end.
Click to expand...
I don’t know that I have anxiety per se, but I do feel cornered by questions.  The first thing that I usual think is Why is this person asking this and what is it that they want to hear, like there is a “right” answer to every question.  I guess that it is has something to do with my parents and thinking that I had to please them all the time.  And I guess that I generally feel judged by most people, especially those close to me.  Which my wife finds frustrating.  So I guess the advice I would give is to consider how something might come off as judging or a suggestion of failure, even though objectively it probably is not.  But again, I can’t say that it is really the same thing driving it for me, so who knows, but I did identify with the question.

 
Long Ball Larry said:
I don’t know that I have anxiety per se, but I do feel cornered by questions.  The first thing that I usual think is Why is this person asking this and what is it that they want to hear, like there is a “right” answer to every question.  I guess that it is has something to do with my parents and thinking that I had to please them all the time.  And I guess that I generally feel judged by most people, especially those close to me.  Which my wife finds frustrating.  So I guess the advice I would give is to consider how something might come off as judging or a suggestion of failure, even though objectively it probably is not.  But again, I can’t say that it is really the same thing driving it for me, so who knows, but I did identify with the question.
Click to expand...


do you find that you generally have difficulty reading people? reading non-verbal cues?

 
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