Ear Pinning - for a kid (1 Viewer)

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

What is the downside?

'you are not perfect so you need to be fixed surgically'

I'd be more inclined to agree this is an issue if the parents were pushing it on their kid. The daughter is asking for this.

 

[NCCommish]

What is the downside?

'you are not perfect so you need to be fixed surgically'

I'd be more inclined to agree this is an issue if the parents were pushing it on their kid. The daughter is asking for this.

She's 6. I find it more than a bit worrisome that she is so into her body image that she is fixating on what is a rather minor thing already at this age. Down this path lies Anorexia. I am not sure "fixing" this very minor thing she may grow out of isn't just reinforcing that body image is all and it must be perfect.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

What is the downside?

'you are not perfect so you need to be fixed surgically'

I'd be more inclined to agree this is an issue if the parents were pushing it on their kid. The daughter is asking for this.

She's 6. I find it more than a bit worrisome that she is so into her body image that she is fixating on what is a rather minor thing already at this age. Down this path lies Anorexia. I am not sure "fixing" this very minor thing she may grow out of isn't just reinforcing that body image is all and it must be perfect.

Explain to me how not getting her the surgery helps to prevent anorexia.

 

[comfortably numb]

First, she's a cute kid regardless of her ears sticking out a little.

Second, I'd ask myself what's potentially more damaging for my daughter -- her possibly learning to place too much value in her looks if she gets the surgery or her developing poor self esteem (which it seems she may be developing) if she doesn't get the surgery.  To me, the negatives associated with the latter are worse. 

Poor self esteem can, and often does, affect all facet of a person's life.  If she feels that negative about her looks, it could lead her to also have negative thoughts about her intelligence, her athletic ability, her art ability, and her overall value as a person.  If she (wrongly) believes she's destined to be subpar at something due to her poor self esteem, that could stunt her ability to excel.

I'd go ahead with the procedure.

Do you think she will even remember getting this done in 10 years?i had chicken pox when I was 5...or so i was told.

 

[NCCommish]

What is the downside?

'you are not perfect so you need to be fixed surgically'

I'd be more inclined to agree this is an issue if the parents were pushing it on their kid. The daughter is asking for this.

She's 6. I find it more than a bit worrisome that she is so into her body image that she is fixating on what is a rather minor thing already at this age. Down this path lies Anorexia. I am not sure "fixing" this very minor thing she may grow out of isn't just reinforcing that body image is all and it must be perfect.

Explain to me how not getting her the surgery helps to prevent anorexia.

I didn't say that. I said that the fixation with minor body image issues, real and imagined, are part of the Anorexics pathology. I said a 6 year old who is fixated enough on this issue you would consider surgery to relieve her anxiety may be demonstrating the early stages of that pathology. Lastly I said that having surgery to "fix" something that really doesn't need it makes me concerned it would amplify, not negate, those negative body image feelings.Of course I did it in less words but everyone seems to feel like doing their best Christo imitation lately, so there you have it spelled out.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

She's 6. I find it more than a bit worrisome that she is so into her body image that she is fixating on what is a rather minor thing already at this age. Down this path lies Anorexia. I am not sure "fixing" this very minor thing she may grow out of isn't just reinforcing that body image is all and it must be perfect.

Explain to me how not getting her the surgery helps to prevent anorexia.

I didn't say that. I said that the fixation with minor body image issues, real and imagined, are part of the Anorexics pathology. I said a 6 year old who is fixated enough on this issue you would consider surgery to relieve her anxiety may be demonstrating the early stages of that pathology. Lastly I said that having surgery to "fix" something that really doesn't need it makes me concerned it would amplify, not negate, those negative body image feelings.Of course I did it in less words but everyone seems to feel like doing their best Christo imitation lately, so there you have it spelled out.

I'm not convinced she's on the path to anorexia because she doesn't like her ears. But even if you were right about that, I'm still not understanding how getting the surgery would change her trajectory in either direction. If she's overly concerned with her looks, it seems to me that will remain true whether or not she gets the ear surgery. I guess I'm just not understanding your "amplify" argument.

 

[tdoss]

Get it done...she's already focusing on it and it'll get worse especially when someone picks on her...and they will. She's adorable but I'm putting it to you honestly...it's the first thing most kids will notice. That's how noticeable it is.

I'd liken it to laser whitening your child's teeth so he doesn't get ridiculed for having yellow teeth.

 

[Jewell]

First, she's a cute kid regardless of her ears sticking out a little.

Second, I'd ask myself what's potentially more damaging for my daughter -- her possibly learning to place too much value in her looks if she gets the surgery or her developing poor self esteem (which it seems she may be developing) if she doesn't get the surgery.  To me, the negatives associated with the latter are worse. 

Poor self esteem can, and often does, affect all facet of a person's life.  If she feels that negative about her looks, it could lead her to also have negative thoughts about her intelligence, her athletic ability, her art ability, and her overall value as a person.  If she (wrongly) believes she's destined to be subpar at something due to her poor self esteem, that could stunt her ability to excel.

I'd go ahead with the procedure.

Do you think she will even remember getting this done in 10 years?i had chicken pox when I was 5...or so i was told.

Maybe not, but some kids will remember traumatic events at that age or even younger. I remember my mom having to come pick me up at nursery school because I pissed my pants in front of the other kids.

 

[SacramentoBob]

Do it.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

I don't understand all this talk of getting the ears 'fixed' to spare her to humiliation of being teased. Kids are kids. If they don't tease her about her ears they'll tease her about something else. It's just what they do.

 

[jamny]

6 seems kind of young but don't think there is anything wrong with having it done. Have you mentioned the surgery to her? Maybe she'd be too freaked about it to actually have it done.

 

[Jewell]

I don't understand all this talk of getting the ears 'fixed' to spare her to humiliation of being teased. Kids are kids. If they don't tease her about her ears they'll tease her about something else. It's just what they do.

eoMMan was teased about his gargantuan hog.

 

[texasheat]

I don't understand all this talk of getting the ears 'fixed' to spare her to humiliation of being teased. Kids are kids. If they don't tease her about her ears they'll tease her about something else. It's just what they do.

I have a small peen and you could show a movie on my forehead and I never got teased

 

[Dr. Awesome]

I don't understand all this talk of getting the ears 'fixed' to spare her to humiliation of being teased. Kids are kids. If they don't tease her about her ears they'll tease her about something else. It's just what they do.

I have a small peen and you could show a movie on my forehead and I never got teased

You never got teased? Were you a part of the cooler kids crowd?

 

[Ned]

First, she's a cute kid regardless of her ears sticking out a little.

Second, I'd ask myself what's potentially more damaging for my daughter -- her possibly learning to place too much value in her looks if she gets the surgery or her developing poor self esteem (which it seems she may be developing) if she doesn't get the surgery.  To me, the negatives associated with the latter are worse. 

Poor self esteem can, and often does, affect all facet of a person's life.  If she feels that negative about her looks, it could lead her to also have negative thoughts about her intelligence, her athletic ability, her art ability, and her overall value as a person.  If she (wrongly) believes she's destined to be subpar at something due to her poor self esteem, that could stunt her ability to excel.

I'd go ahead with the procedure.

Do you think she will even remember getting this done in 10 years?i had chicken pox when I was 5...or so i was told.

I don't think it's about this single incident and her remembering it. It's more about the broader upbringing of giving her a quick fix to a trivial problem.

 

[NCCommish]

She's 6. I find it more than a bit worrisome that she is so into her body image that she is fixating on what is a rather minor thing already at this age. Down this path lies Anorexia. I am not sure "fixing" this very minor thing she may grow out of isn't just reinforcing that body image is all and it must be perfect.

Explain to me how not getting her the surgery helps to prevent anorexia.

I didn't say that. I said that the fixation with minor body image issues, real and imagined, are part of the Anorexics pathology. I said a 6 year old who is fixated enough on this issue you would consider surgery to relieve her anxiety may be demonstrating the early stages of that pathology. Lastly I said that having surgery to "fix" something that really doesn't need it makes me concerned it would amplify, not negate, those negative body image feelings.Of course I did it in less words but everyone seems to feel like doing their best Christo imitation lately, so there you have it spelled out.

I'm not convinced she's on the path to anorexia because she doesn't like her ears. But even if you were right about that, I'm still not understanding how getting the surgery would change her trajectory in either direction. If she's overly concerned with her looks, it seems to me that will remain true whether or not she gets the ear surgery. I guess I'm just not understanding your "amplify" argument.

Well it goes like this. My ears stick out too much. Obviously my parents agree or they wouldn't send me to have surgery. Maybe there is more wrong with me. Maybe if I search long enough I will find my next imperfection. You know I am pretty heavy compared to such and such model. I should fix my weight. How I look is important to me and my family after all. Look at what we did for my ears.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

I'm not convinced she's on the path to anorexia because she doesn't like her ears. But even if you were right about that, I'm still not understanding how getting the surgery would change her trajectory in either direction. If she's overly concerned with her looks, it seems to me that will remain true whether or not she gets the ear surgery. I guess I'm just not understanding your "amplify" argument.

Well it goes like this. My ears stick out too much. Obviously my parents agree or they wouldn't send me to have surgery. Maybe there is more wrong with me. Maybe if I search long enough I will find my next imperfection. You know I am pretty heavy compared to such and such model. I should fix my weight. How I look is important to me and my family after all. Look at what we did for my ears.

Thanks for explaining. This feels like a stretch to me, but I suppose some people think that way. I think it's far more likely that the kid sees the whole thing as no big deal and just continues with her childhood as if nothing happened.

 

[shadyridr]

What is the downside?

'you are not perfect so you need to be fixed surgically'

I'd be more inclined to agree this is an issue if the parents were pushing it on their kid. The daughter is asking for this.

The daughter did research on ear pinning? Sounds like the daughter is self conscious about her ears and the mother suggested the ear pinning.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

What is the downside?

'you are not perfect so you need to be fixed surgically'

I'd be more inclined to agree this is an issue if the parents were pushing it on their kid. The daughter is asking for this.

The daughter did research on ear pinning? Sounds like the daughter is self conscious about her ears and the mother suggested the ear pinning.

I guess it isn't clear if the kid even knows about the ear pinning yet. Sounds like this has been a discussion between Worm and his wife. I'm not sure why that matters though.

 

[texasheat]

I don't understand all this talk of getting the ears 'fixed' to spare her to humiliation of being teased. Kids are kids. If they don't tease her about her ears they'll tease her about something else. It's just what they do.

I have a small peen and you could show a movie on my forehead and I never got teased

You never got teased? Were you a part of the cooler kids crowd?

pretty much

 

[Henry Ford]

What is the downside?

'you are not perfect so you need to be fixed surgically'

I'd be more inclined to agree this is an issue if the parents were pushing it on their kid. The daughter is asking for this.

The daughter did research on ear pinning? Sounds like the daughter is self conscious about her ears and the mother suggested the ear pinning.

What if the daughter came in and said she wished her teeth weren't crooked and the parents researched braces? Why is this worse?

 

[Worm]

What is the downside?

'you are not perfect so you need to be fixed surgically'

I'd be more inclined to agree this is an issue if the parents were pushing it on their kid. The daughter is asking for this.

The daughter did research on ear pinning? Sounds like the daughter is self conscious about her ears and the mother suggested the ear pinning.

I guess it isn't clear if the kid even knows about the ear pinning yet. Sounds like this has been a discussion between Worm and his wife. I'm not sure why that matters though.

Yeah, she has no idea that ear pinning even exists. My wife and I have talked about it after our daughter brought up the issue a few times. I'm not sure of the exact conversations between my wife and daughter, or if "can we fix my ears" or some variation of that even came up. Just more of a "I don't like my ears, I wish they didn't stick out so much" kind of thing at the moment.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

I don't understand all this talk of getting the ears 'fixed' to spare her to humiliation of being teased. Kids are kids. If they don't tease her about her ears they'll tease her about something else. It's just what they do.

I have a small peen and you could show a movie on my forehead and I never got teased

You never got teased? Were you a part of the cooler kids crowd?

pretty much

That's the key. Either OP's daughter will have a lot of confidence and be a part of the cool kids, or she'll be in the other side and get teased. If she has big ears it doesn't matter if she's popular. If she has normal ears it doesn't matter if she's not in the crowd.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

Why are we just focusing on childhood teasing? Seems to me that if Worm doesn't do it now, it's likely that his daughter will just do it herself when she gets older. Not a lot of women prefer to have ears that stick out.

 

[The Charlie Hustlers]

I'd go for it. But then I don't know if you'd want my advice. My 14yo daughter just got her belly button pierced.

 

[texasheat]

I'd go for it. But then I don't know if you'd want my advice. My 14yo daughter just got her belly button pierced.

You should probably start a thread on this

 

[cstu]

Why are we just focusing on childhood teasing? Seems to me that if Worm doesn't do it now, it's likely that his daughter will just do it herself when she gets older. Not a lot of women prefer to have ears that stick out.

Seems to have worked out ok for this lady.

 

[cstu]

I think it's good thing to do for boys, but on girls I'm not so sure. Looking at the Google images for otoplasty except for the extreme cases I like the before shots of girls who've had it done.

If you do have it done on her make sure she doesn't get them pinned too far back because it looks freaky.

 

[Annyong]

Lebron is balding, so he just wears his headband really high.

 

[Worm]

Lebron is balding, so he just wears his headband really high.

So she should just wear hers really low?

 

[bakes]

Lebron is balding, so he just wears his headband really high.

So she should just wear hers really low?

I just keep going back to the fact that she's *six* - when my daughter was six she swore nobody would ever cut her hair and that she didn't want boobies and that her eyes weren't hazel like her mom's. She grew out of it. Seriously, I'd wait and let her grow her hair long. If it really bothers her once she's old enough to realize what she wants to do, then consider it. But not at six. JMO.

 

[nysfl2]

If she's already brought it up a few times at this age, and it isn't an issue financially, I'd probably just go ahead and have it done. Will probably do a lot for her self-confidence.

If she comes back with another problem that she needs "fixed", then you need to have a conversation with her.

Very cute kid, btw.

 

[Neovivo]

let us know how it turnsout.

 

[lod01]

Pin 'em back. My brother had this done at around that age. It is no big deal.

 

[Judge Smails]

Sort of shocked - Mrs Smails is for it

 

[shadyridr]

The quarterback is gonna think shes blitzing on every play

 

[Mr. Know-It-All]

To be perfectly honest had I not known I was supposed to be looking for abnormally large ears I wouldn't have noticed them in the picture, she's just a cute kid. I guess I just don't know a lot of people that worry about ears as long as they are functioning properly. That said, if you went the cosmetic route because you thought that was the best thing to do - who cares what other people think? It is your daughter and do what you think is right for her. Screw whatever anyone else thinks.

 

[Willy]

What is the recovery like for the procedure? We had a mole removed from my youngest son's face before he went to 1st grade. The doctor didn't really want us to do that while he was so young - to avoid recovery issues due to rough housing with his brother. But it was a big hairy thing on his cheek, no hiding it, so we felt like it was worth it. Nothing happened during recovery. I don't think he's got any self image issues and that was 5 or 6 years ago.

Good luck.

 

[massraider]

What is the recovery like for the procedure? We had a mole removed from my youngest son's face before he went to 1st grade. The doctor didn't really want us to do that while he was so young - to avoid recovery issues due to rough housing with his brother. But it was a big hairy thing on his cheek, no hiding it, so we felt like it was worth it. Nothing happened during recovery. I don't think he's got any self image issues and that was 5 or 6 years ago. Good luck.

Gosh, but what about the 'message' it sent???Your little girls ears stick out, it bothers her now, will probably bother for a long time. You have the wherewithal to fix it, go ahead and do so. There will be a thousand other opportunities to explain that looks aren't important. You can stop her from using makeup, not let her use a tanning bed, and prohibit her from getting a gym membership.

 

[Mr. Know-It-All]

I learned a great deal of wisdom from Billy Madison. Instead of making peeing the pants shameful, you make it seem cool. Have her tease other kids for having ears that are too close to their head. On second thought, never take advice from Billy Madison.

 

[Jewell]

The quarterback is gonna think shes blitzing on every play

 

[bonesman]

You gonna get her breast enhancements when kids start teasing her about how flat she is too?Sets a bad precedent and could end up having the opposite effect you're going for.

While I think the example is a bit over the top, I understand the point, and it's a concern. I also have 3 other kids, all girls, who are younger than she is, which complicates things a bit more in my eyes.

I think the example is perfectly apt. One thing sticks out too far, the other not enough... both will likely be grown into with age and maturity. Kanye West's mother died getting cosmetic surgery done. Yea, not likely with an ear pinning procedure, but who knows, maybe she has an allergic reaction to the anesthesia, charts get swapped and she ends up with a hysterectomy... you never know, man.

 

[Worm]

So a year later, and she is scheduled to get this done on the 22nd of this month. Originally she was scheduled for about 2 weeks before school started back in August, but she got sick and we had to postpone.

Recovery procedure involves wearing a bandage around her head 24/7 for a week, which is why we scheduled it over a school break. She then has to wear a headband at night for a month or so to make sure she doesn't bend them back while she sleeps. Otherwise the recovery is supposed to be pretty easy.

We put a lot of thought into this before eventually deciding to go forward with it. We did a lot of research and even were able to coordinate through the doctor's office to talk to a handful of people in the area that had it done in the past.

Our kiddo really isn't making a big deal of it and isn't nervous at all.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

Good deal and good luck to her.

At least she won't have to wear the cone of shame.