Seeking help in any form here. Suggestions you may have. Things you may have tried if this was ever an issue for you. Even an article I should read. Whatever you think may help, pls let me know.
I have two little ones - 4 and 1. My wife, IMO, is not that good at the educating thing. Let me explain. She'll read to the kids at night, but for the most part, that's it.
On the other hand, I try to do educational things whenever opportunities pop up. I try to take advantage of anything in a fun spirited way. Examples:
- If my son and I are having a catch outside, I'll say something like how many can we catch in a row without dropping - to encourage him to count. Same thing if he is practicing his dribbling.
- We drive to a friend's house, maybe I ask him what number that is on his friend's mailbox.
- We are going to his friend's house (we'll call the friend Frank) and I may ask what letter Frank's name begins with.
- I constantly take advantage of opportunities to teach. Not in a militant way. But in a fun way. Whether it has to do with numbers, letters, shapes, words, whatever.
My wife is not like that. My wife does not encourage him to try new 4 yr old level books. She reads to him his 2 and 3 yr old books, despite being 4 yrs old because she says that is what he likes. He has friends doing real books (say 80 words on a page) while he is still on babyish books (of say 10-20 words a page).
I am not one of these people that gets caught up in my 4 yr old has to be at the top of his class. Not at all. But I don't want him to be at the bottom either.
And my wife is the one with the kids all day while I am at work. She'll not only put on the TV (say Mickey Mouse Clubhouse), but if my kid asks for another episode afterwards, she'll say okay. This is instead of saying in an encouraging voice, who wants to read a book now?
Here's another example. We each have iphones. My son asks to use it a lot (games). I asked her months ago to put some educational apps for toddlers. Just basic stuff like reviewing shapes, colors, puzzles, letters, numbers, etc. She said she would. 2 months go by and I ask her if she did it. She says not yet, but that she will. Another month goes by and I ask again. Still hasn't.
Kids absorb more they say from 0-5 than at any other 5 yr time period in their lives. So what is she waiting for? It takes no time at all. I went online and did a search for recommended apps for toddlers. I read what different sources suggested (babycenter.com, parenting.com, etc). And then I downloaded a few. My son loves them. It isn't like he is opposed to this stuff.
Sure I can download them onto my wife's phone for her, but that is not the point. Again I am at the office during the day. She is with the kids. I can't make her do things throughout the day.
I know there will be comments from some about how I should chill out. But I assure you, it isn't like I am putting pressure on my kids. It isn't like I am expecting mensa out of them. It isn't like I am not letting a kid be a kid. If my kid was naturally opposed to things, then maybe I should back off a bit. Although others would say you have to push even more then. But that is not the case. My kids likes educational things.
Just to make sure everyone gets where I am coming from, here is an illustration -
My wife: What book do you want to read?
Son: This one. (Picks a book good for 2-3 yrs olds.)
My wife: Okay. (Reads it.)
Me: What book do you want to read?
Son: This one. (Picks a book good for 2-3 yrs olds.)
Me: Oh man - what is this I just found? A new book?! Where did this one come from? It looks like a real big boy book.
Son: I want that one, daddy. Let's do that one instead. (Pointing to the new 4 yr old book instead now.)
Yes, it is sometimes that easy. So my point is, why not try it?
So yes, I can continue doing things like that. But my question is how do I get my wife to get better at the sort of stuff? It is about our kids.
My wife seems to always have an excuse. If it is early in the morning and I ask why she is putting the tv on instead of reading to the kids or doing a puzzle with the kids, she says it is early and she has all day to get around to that. If it is middle of the day and I ask why she isn't doing books, puzzles, educational games (think Memory), etc, she says things are hectic in the middle of the day. Between dropping off at nursery school, picking him up, bringing him to soccer, feeding them lunch, getting them to nap, going to a playdate, etc, there is no time in the middle of the day. And if it is early evening when I ask (think like 5:00), she says she had a long day and is tired. There is always an excuse. Early part of day, middle of day, early evening, etc, does not matter. She has an excuse.
My kid loves when I pull out the Memory game. So this isn't like he hates that sort of stuff. He has so much fun playing it. Yet I will ask my wife point blank if she has even pulled out that game (or something similarly educational) in the last 1 month and she will say she actually has not.
So pls, if anyone has ideas of how to get my wife better at that sort of stuff, let me know. She is great with them in terms of everything else. Makes sure they eat. Makes sure they nap. Get them to things on time. If the doctor says make sure to give him baby tylenol 1/2 hr before you come in next time because he will need some shots, even if that is not for 6 months down the road, she will have made sure to give it to them. She is good like that. But when it comes to educational things, whether it is reviewing letters, numbers, colors, shapes, doing puzzles, or whatever, she is so bad at it, that it is scary (and extremely disappointing).
So if anyone has ideas, pls share. If you experienced something similar, what did you do? If you know others that went through this, what did they do? Thanks so much.
I have two little ones - 4 and 1. My wife, IMO, is not that good at the educating thing. Let me explain. She'll read to the kids at night, but for the most part, that's it.
On the other hand, I try to do educational things whenever opportunities pop up. I try to take advantage of anything in a fun spirited way. Examples:
- If my son and I are having a catch outside, I'll say something like how many can we catch in a row without dropping - to encourage him to count. Same thing if he is practicing his dribbling.
- We drive to a friend's house, maybe I ask him what number that is on his friend's mailbox.
- We are going to his friend's house (we'll call the friend Frank) and I may ask what letter Frank's name begins with.
- I constantly take advantage of opportunities to teach. Not in a militant way. But in a fun way. Whether it has to do with numbers, letters, shapes, words, whatever.
My wife is not like that. My wife does not encourage him to try new 4 yr old level books. She reads to him his 2 and 3 yr old books, despite being 4 yrs old because she says that is what he likes. He has friends doing real books (say 80 words on a page) while he is still on babyish books (of say 10-20 words a page).
I am not one of these people that gets caught up in my 4 yr old has to be at the top of his class. Not at all. But I don't want him to be at the bottom either.
And my wife is the one with the kids all day while I am at work. She'll not only put on the TV (say Mickey Mouse Clubhouse), but if my kid asks for another episode afterwards, she'll say okay. This is instead of saying in an encouraging voice, who wants to read a book now?
Here's another example. We each have iphones. My son asks to use it a lot (games). I asked her months ago to put some educational apps for toddlers. Just basic stuff like reviewing shapes, colors, puzzles, letters, numbers, etc. She said she would. 2 months go by and I ask her if she did it. She says not yet, but that she will. Another month goes by and I ask again. Still hasn't.
Kids absorb more they say from 0-5 than at any other 5 yr time period in their lives. So what is she waiting for? It takes no time at all. I went online and did a search for recommended apps for toddlers. I read what different sources suggested (babycenter.com, parenting.com, etc). And then I downloaded a few. My son loves them. It isn't like he is opposed to this stuff.
Sure I can download them onto my wife's phone for her, but that is not the point. Again I am at the office during the day. She is with the kids. I can't make her do things throughout the day.
I know there will be comments from some about how I should chill out. But I assure you, it isn't like I am putting pressure on my kids. It isn't like I am expecting mensa out of them. It isn't like I am not letting a kid be a kid. If my kid was naturally opposed to things, then maybe I should back off a bit. Although others would say you have to push even more then. But that is not the case. My kids likes educational things.
Just to make sure everyone gets where I am coming from, here is an illustration -
My wife: What book do you want to read?
Son: This one. (Picks a book good for 2-3 yrs olds.)
My wife: Okay. (Reads it.)
Me: What book do you want to read?
Son: This one. (Picks a book good for 2-3 yrs olds.)
Me: Oh man - what is this I just found? A new book?! Where did this one come from? It looks like a real big boy book.
Son: I want that one, daddy. Let's do that one instead. (Pointing to the new 4 yr old book instead now.)
Yes, it is sometimes that easy. So my point is, why not try it?
So yes, I can continue doing things like that. But my question is how do I get my wife to get better at the sort of stuff? It is about our kids.
My wife seems to always have an excuse. If it is early in the morning and I ask why she is putting the tv on instead of reading to the kids or doing a puzzle with the kids, she says it is early and she has all day to get around to that. If it is middle of the day and I ask why she isn't doing books, puzzles, educational games (think Memory), etc, she says things are hectic in the middle of the day. Between dropping off at nursery school, picking him up, bringing him to soccer, feeding them lunch, getting them to nap, going to a playdate, etc, there is no time in the middle of the day. And if it is early evening when I ask (think like 5:00), she says she had a long day and is tired. There is always an excuse. Early part of day, middle of day, early evening, etc, does not matter. She has an excuse.
My kid loves when I pull out the Memory game. So this isn't like he hates that sort of stuff. He has so much fun playing it. Yet I will ask my wife point blank if she has even pulled out that game (or something similarly educational) in the last 1 month and she will say she actually has not.
So pls, if anyone has ideas of how to get my wife better at that sort of stuff, let me know. She is great with them in terms of everything else. Makes sure they eat. Makes sure they nap. Get them to things on time. If the doctor says make sure to give him baby tylenol 1/2 hr before you come in next time because he will need some shots, even if that is not for 6 months down the road, she will have made sure to give it to them. She is good like that. But when it comes to educational things, whether it is reviewing letters, numbers, colors, shapes, doing puzzles, or whatever, she is so bad at it, that it is scary (and extremely disappointing).
So if anyone has ideas, pls share. If you experienced something similar, what did you do? If you know others that went through this, what did they do? Thanks so much.
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