Email Forwards Received from my Mother (1 Viewer)

[General Malaise]

Figured I'd share with you all the wonderful email forwards I get from my mom. They are a touch one sided and she knows some of them raise my blood pressure, but she sends them religiously.

Email received today:

Take a look at this and just remember elections in Nov. 2010.

U.S. House & Senate have voted themselves $4,700 and $5,300 raises.

1. They voted to not give you a S.S. Cost of living raise in 2010 and 2011.

2. Your Medicaid premiums will go up $285.60 for the 2-years and You will not get the 3% COLA: $660/yr. Your total 2-yr loss and cost is -$1,600 or -$3,200 for husband and wife.

3. Over 2-yrs they each get $10,000

4. Do you feel SCREWED?

5. Will they stop your cost of drugs - doctor fees - local taxes - food, etc., from increasing? NO WAY . They have a raise and better benefits. Why care about you? You never did anything about it in the past. They think you are obviously are too stupid or don't care.

6. Do you really think that Nancy, Harry, Chris, Charlie, Barnie, et al, care about you? SEND THE MESSAGE-- or You're FIRED. IN 2010 YOU WILL HAVE A CHANCE TO GET RID OF THE SITTING CONGRESS: Up to 1/3 OF THE SENATE, AND 100% OF THE HOUSE.

MAKE SURE YOU'RE STILL MAD IN NOVEMBER 2010 AND REMIND THEIR REPLACEMENTS NOT TO SCREW UP.

It is ok to forward this to your sphere of influence if you are finally tired of the abuse.

Maybe it's time for the........

Amendment 28"Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators or Representatives, and Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States." Let's get this passed around, folks - these people in Washington have brought this upon themselves!!! It's time for retribution. Let's take back America.

If you don't forward this to all your friends you're just part of the problem of national apathy.

 

[guru_007]

Figured I'd share with you all the wonderful email forwards I get from my mom. They are a touch one sided and she knows some of them raise my blood pressure, but she sends them religiously.

Email received today:

If you don't forward this to all your friends you're just part of the problem of national apathy.

 

[honky kong]

I don't think this is going to have the effect you intended it to have.

 

[General Malaise]

I don't think this is going to have the effect you intended it to have.

What should I do?

 

[honky kong]

I don't think this is going to have the effect you intended it to have.

What should I do?

I'd start by having a drink, but I'd say that to just about anything.

 

[General Malaise]

I don't think this is going to have the effect you intended it to have.

What should I do?

I'd start by having a drink, but I'd say that to just about anything.

Can you delete this for me or should I ask Otis to do it?

 

[Mad Cow]

I don't think this is going to have the effect you intended it to have.

What should I do?

Forward it on you apathetic *******!

 

[snowmonkey501]

:forwarded:

 

[General Malaise]

:forwarded:

Thank you snowmonkey501!

 

[Osaurus]

If you do the whole Twitter thing, there's a guy names SilverJingles (or something pretty close to this) who Tweets in mostly all caps and posts similar rhetoric at least 20x a day.

 

[General Malaise]

If you do the whole Twitter thing, there's a guy names SilverJingles (or something pretty close to this) who Tweets in mostly all caps and posts similar rhetoric at least 20x a day.

I can't figure Twitter out. I tried. I signed up. I found people to follow. Yet nothing hits my phone. I was expecting it to "Tweet" every time somebody I followed said something, then get a text message. I get nothing. I don't get it.

 

[Fennis]

In addition to those fwds does your mom also send passive-aggressive emails to you about the family?

 

[SierraKiloBravo]

Let's take back America!

 

[Kimber]

When you go home does your mom start crying, "where did I go wrong..."?

 

[Osaurus]

National Apathy would make a good username no?

 

[datonn]

I've got a fantastic idea for all the elderly who are "mad as #### and not gonna take this anymore" related to all the Communists and Socialists [sigh] running Washington right now:

1. Send your social security checks, return to sender.

2. Send your medicare/medicaid checks, return to sender.

That'll teach 'em! H2H.

 

[17seconds]

Fight government run health care! Oh, and give us more medicaid!

 

[General Malaise]

Fight government run health care! Oh, and give us more medicaid!

Hello, Exactly!

 

[General Malaise]

In addition to those fwds does your mom also send passive-aggressive emails to you about the family?

Uh.....maybe. how did you know that?

 

[McJose]

Can she get me some sweet sunglasses?

 

[Offa]

AND REMIND THEIR REPLACEMENTS NOT TO SCREW UP

 

[honky kong]

My apologies, GM. I fully expected this thing to be all BGP'd up by now. If only my track record of picking bowls so far this year were as good...

 

[General Malaise]

My apologies, GM. I fully expected this thing to be all BGP'd up by now. If only my track record of picking bowls so far this year were as good...

I got a juicy one brewing for monday.....

 

[Sack Boy]

Take a look at this and just remember elections in Nov. 2010.

MAKE SURE YOU'RE STILL MAD IN NOVEMBER 2010 AND REMIND THEIR REPLACEMENTS NOT TO SCREW UP.

It is ok to forward this to your sphere of influence if you are finally tired of the abuse.

Maybe it's time for the........

We're GM's sphere of influence?

 

[Fennis]

how did you know that?

my crazy ### mother fwds me stuff like that to me too

 

[General Malaise]

An update from Oklahoma :

Oklahoma law passed, 37 to 9, had a few liberals in the mix, an amendment to place the Ten Commandments on the front entrance to the state capitol. The feds in D.C., along with the ACLU, said it would be a mistake. Hey this is a conservative state, based on Christian values...! HB 1330

Guess what.......... Oklahoma did it anyway.

Oklahoma recently passed a law in the state to incarcerate all illegal immigrants, and ship them back to where they came from unless they want to get a green card and become an American citizen. They all scattered. HB 1804. Hope we didn't send any of them to your state. This was against the advice of the Federal Government, and the ACLU, they said it would be a mistake.

Guess what............ Oklahoma did it anyway.

Recently we passed a law to include DNA samples from any and all illegals to the Oklahoma database, for criminal investigative purposes. Pelosi said it was unconstitutional. SB 1102

Guess what........ Oklahoma did it anyway.

Several weeks ago, we passed a law, declaring Oklahoma as a Sovereign state, not under the Federal Government directives. Joining Texas , Montana and Utah as the only states to do so. More states are likely to follow: Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, the Carolina's, Tennessee, Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, West Virginia, Mississippi, Florida. Save your confederate money, it appears the South is about to rise up once again. HJR 1003

The federal Government has made bold steps to take away our guns. Oklahoma, a week ago, passed a law confirming people in this state have the right to bear arms and transport them in their vehicles. I'm sure that was a set back for the criminals. Liberals didn't like it -- But ...

Guess what........... Oklahoma did it anyway.

Just this month, my state has voted and passed a law that ALL driver's license exams will be printed in English, and only English, and no other language. We have been called racist for doing this, but the fact is that ALL of our road signs are in English only. If you want to drive in Oklahoma , you must read and write English. Really simple.

By the way, liberals do not like any of this.

Guess what....who cares... Oklahoma is doing it anyway.

 

[McJose]

An update from Oklahoma :

Oklahoma law passed, 37 to 9, had a few liberals in the mix, an amendment to place the Ten Commandments on the front entrance to the state capitol. The feds in D.C., along with the ACLU, said it would be a mistake. Hey this is a conservative state, based on Christian values...! HB 1330

Guess what.......... Oklahoma did it anyway.

Oklahoma recently passed a law in the state to incarcerate all illegal immigrants, and ship them back to where they came from unless they want to get a green card and become an American citizen. They all scattered. HB 1804. Hope we didn't send any of them to your state. This was against the advice of the Federal Government, and the ACLU, they said it would be a mistake.

Guess what............ Oklahoma did it anyway.

Recently we passed a law to include DNA samples from any and all illegals to the Oklahoma database, for criminal investigative purposes. Pelosi said it was unconstitutional. SB 1102

Guess what........ Oklahoma did it anyway.

Several weeks ago, we passed a law, declaring Oklahoma as a Sovereign state, not under the Federal Government directives. Joining Texas , Montana and Utah as the only states to do so. More states are likely to follow: Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, the Carolina's, Tennessee, Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, West Virginia, Mississippi, Florida. Save your confederate money, it appears the South is about to rise up once again. HJR 1003

The federal Government has made bold steps to take away our guns. Oklahoma, a week ago, passed a law confirming people in this state have the right to bear arms and transport them in their vehicles. I'm sure that was a set back for the criminals. Liberals didn't like it -- But ...

Guess what........... Oklahoma did it anyway.

Just this month, my state has voted and passed a law that ALL driver's license exams will be printed in English, and only English, and no other language. We have been called racist for doing this, but the fact is that ALL of our road signs are in English only. If you want to drive in Oklahoma , you must read and write English. Really simple.

By the way, liberals do not like any of this.

Guess what....who cares... Oklahoma is doing it anyway.

Yeah but you still have to live in Oklahoma.

 

[saintfool]

you're originally from OK, GM?

 

[TommyGilmore]

Modern day scientists warned Oklahoma against inbreeding.

Guess what...........OKLAHOMA DID IT ANYWAY!

 

[General Malaise]

you're originally from OK, GM?

Texas.

 

[McJose]

Modern day scientists warned Oklahoma against inbreeding.

Guess what...........OKLAHOMA DID IT ANYWAY!

 

[Bull Dozier]

My 8 year old son has an email account. All he uses it for is getting forwards from my mother in law and sending them on to everyone in his address book. It was harmless fun for him, until the one I got from him this morning. It was a bunch of Christmas cartoons, mainly about having turkey to heat. The first one was a picture of a turkey with the turkey saying "you only love me for my breasts."

 

[Drifter]

Do they not use question marks in Oklahoma............

 

[TobiasFunke]

If you do the whole Twitter thing, there's a guy names SilverJingles (or something pretty close to this) who Tweets in mostly all caps and posts similar rhetoric at least 20x a day.

I can't figure Twitter out. I tried. I signed up. I found people to follow. Yet nothing hits my phone. I was expecting it to "Tweet" every time somebody I followed said something, then get a text message. I get nothing. I don't get it.

Has anyone pointed out the irony of you confessing that you can't figure out Twitter on a thread designed to poke fun at the internet tendencies of old people?

 

[General Malaise]

If you do the whole Twitter thing, there's a guy names SilverJingles (or something pretty close to this) who Tweets in mostly all caps and posts similar rhetoric at least 20x a day.

I can't figure Twitter out. I tried. I signed up. I found people to follow. Yet nothing hits my phone. I was expecting it to "Tweet" every time somebody I followed said something, then get a text message. I get nothing. I don't get it.

Has anyone pointed out the irony of you confessing that you can't figure out Twitter on a thread designed to poke fun at the internet tendencies of old people?

No, not yet. You win the door prize!Seriously, I don't get twitter. Why doesn't it text me with new tweets? I've changed the settings. Nothing.

 

[TobiasFunke]

If you do the whole Twitter thing, there's a guy names SilverJingles (or something pretty close to this) who Tweets in mostly all caps and posts similar rhetoric at least 20x a day.

I can't figure Twitter out. I tried. I signed up. I found people to follow. Yet nothing hits my phone. I was expecting it to "Tweet" every time somebody I followed said something, then get a text message. I get nothing. I don't get it.

Has anyone pointed out the irony of you confessing that you can't figure out Twitter on a thread designed to poke fun at the internet tendencies of old people?

No, not yet. You win the door prize!Seriously, I don't get twitter. Why doesn't it text me with new tweets? I've changed the settings. Nothing.

Beats me. Good luck with it. I just thought it was funny.Does your mom also still send you turn-by-turn directions whenever there's a family gathering, as if there was no such thing as Mapquest, let alone GPS? That's my favorite mom e-mail. I've even told her she can stop because of Mapquest and GPS, but she just keeps sending them.

 

[General Malaise]

If you do the whole Twitter thing, there's a guy names SilverJingles (or something pretty close to this) who Tweets in mostly all caps and posts similar rhetoric at least 20x a day.

I can't figure Twitter out. I tried. I signed up. I found people to follow. Yet nothing hits my phone. I was expecting it to "Tweet" every time somebody I followed said something, then get a text message. I get nothing. I don't get it.

Has anyone pointed out the irony of you confessing that you can't figure out Twitter on a thread designed to poke fun at the internet tendencies of old people?

No, not yet. You win the door prize!Seriously, I don't get twitter. Why doesn't it text me with new tweets? I've changed the settings. Nothing.

Beats me. Good luck with it. I just thought it was funny.Does your mom also still send you turn-by-turn directions whenever there's a family gathering, as if there was no such thing as Mapquest, let alone GPS? That's my favorite mom e-mail. I've even told her she can stop because of Mapquest and GPS, but she just keeps sending them.

No, she's always let my father handle any direction giving. He's pretty precise and anal about such things. Her voicemails, however, are legendary. They ramble so long, she used to get cut off all the time.

 

[urbanhack]

If you do the whole Twitter thing, there's a guy names SilverJingles (or something pretty close to this) who Tweets in mostly all caps and posts similar rhetoric at least 20x a day.

I can't figure Twitter out. I tried. I signed up. I found people to follow. Yet nothing hits my phone. I was expecting it to "Tweet" every time somebody I followed said something, then get a text message. I get nothing. I don't get it.

Has anyone pointed out the irony of you confessing that you can't figure out Twitter on a thread designed to poke fun at the internet tendencies of old people?

No, not yet. You win the door prize!Seriously, I don't get twitter. Why doesn't it text me with new tweets? I've changed the settings. Nothing.

name a few of your hobbies....

 

[Binky The Doormat]

If you do the whole Twitter thing, there's a guy names SilverJingles (or something pretty close to this) who Tweets in mostly all caps and posts similar rhetoric at least 20x a day.

I can't figure Twitter out. I tried. I signed up. I found people to follow. Yet nothing hits my phone. I was expecting it to "Tweet" every time somebody I followed said something, then get a text message. I get nothing. I don't get it.

Has anyone pointed out the irony of you confessing that you can't figure out Twitter on a thread designed to poke fun at the internet tendencies of old people?

No, not yet. You win the door prize!Seriously, I don't get twitter. Why doesn't it text me with new tweets? I've changed the settings. Nothing.

name a few of your hobbies....

1) masterbation2) thinking of masterbation3) porn4) mental stimulation during "rebound" period5) masterbation to a different scene than prior episode6) thinking of masterbation7) different porn8) "other" stimulation during "rebound" period9) nap

 

[urbanhack]

If you do the whole Twitter thing, there's a guy names SilverJingles (or something pretty close to this) who Tweets in mostly all caps and posts similar rhetoric at least 20x a day.

I can't figure Twitter out. I tried. I signed up. I found people to follow. Yet nothing hits my phone. I was expecting it to "Tweet" every time somebody I followed said something, then get a text message. I get nothing. I don't get it.

Has anyone pointed out the irony of you confessing that you can't figure out Twitter on a thread designed to poke fun at the internet tendencies of old people?

No, not yet. You win the door prize!Seriously, I don't get twitter. Why doesn't it text me with new tweets? I've changed the settings. Nothing.

you have to load the twitter application. following individuals is a lot less interesting than following reports or people who are experts in fields where you have an interest. For example, I could see you following this:

http://twitter.com/TopHorsePicks

 

[valence]

If you do the whole Twitter thing, there's a guy names SilverJingles (or something pretty close to this) who Tweets in mostly all caps and posts similar rhetoric at least 20x a day.

I can't figure Twitter out. I tried. I signed up. I found people to follow. Yet nothing hits my phone. I was expecting it to "Tweet" every time somebody I followed said something, then get a text message. I get nothing. I don't get it.

Has anyone pointed out the irony of you confessing that you can't figure out Twitter on a thread designed to poke fun at the internet tendencies of old people?

No, not yet. You win the door prize!Seriously, I don't get twitter. Why doesn't it text me with new tweets? I've changed the settings. Nothing.

I'm not sure if you are still fishing, but I'll bite.1. Go to the twitter page of someone you follow like FBG.

2. Look at the bar under their icon that says something like green checkmark (an actual green checkmark)following

3. Click on the little picture of the phone and make sure it's green.

If that doesn't work then either your information is wrong or your phone doesn't work with twitter.

honestly though, the easiest and best way is to get a twitter app like echofon for the iPhone or whatever they use on blackberries and droids.

getting a billion texts throughout the day gets annoying fast. If you get one of the apps then you can check it through the app when you want to.

HTH

p.s. This is a good idea for a thread. can I start pasting in all the ones from my mom too?

 

[General Malaise]

1) masterbation2) thinking of masterbation3) porn4) mental stimulation during "rebound" period5) masterbation to a different scene than prior episode6) thinking of masterbation7) different porn8) "other" stimulation during "rebound" period9) nap

Hey! He was asking me, not you. Jerk.Anyhow, to answer your question, Hack:1) masterbation2) thinking of masterbation3) porn4) mental stimulation during "rebound" period5) masterbation to a different scene than prior episode6) thinking of masterbation7) different porn8) "other" stimulation during "rebound" period9) nap

 

[General Malaise]

If you do the whole Twitter thing, there's a guy names SilverJingles (or something pretty close to this) who Tweets in mostly all caps and posts similar rhetoric at least 20x a day.

I can't figure Twitter out. I tried. I signed up. I found people to follow. Yet nothing hits my phone. I was expecting it to "Tweet" every time somebody I followed said something, then get a text message. I get nothing. I don't get it.

Has anyone pointed out the irony of you confessing that you can't figure out Twitter on a thread designed to poke fun at the internet tendencies of old people?

No, not yet. You win the door prize!Seriously, I don't get twitter. Why doesn't it text me with new tweets? I've changed the settings. Nothing.

you have to load the twitter application. following individuals is a lot less interesting than following reports or people who are experts in fields where you have an interest. For example, I could see you following this:

http://twitter.com/TopHorsePicks

Application is loaded. I follow Peter King, Stewart Mandel, Ivan Maisel, JTC and the Blazers Insiders. I can see their 'timeline' (whatever that is) on my phone. But what I want...what I always envisioned this twitter thing to do...is text me with brand new tweets from these guys. That's not happening. I've looked at my settings. I've asked it to email me as soon as a new tweet comes out from somebody I follow. But I get nothing. Good call on the horse thing...

 

[The_Burning_Bush]

My 8 year old son has an email account.

woah woah woah

 

[General Malaise]

If you do the whole Twitter thing, there's a guy names SilverJingles (or something pretty close to this) who Tweets in mostly all caps and posts similar rhetoric at least 20x a day.

I can't figure Twitter out. I tried. I signed up. I found people to follow. Yet nothing hits my phone. I was expecting it to "Tweet" every time somebody I followed said something, then get a text message. I get nothing. I don't get it.

Has anyone pointed out the irony of you confessing that you can't figure out Twitter on a thread designed to poke fun at the internet tendencies of old people?

No, not yet. You win the door prize!Seriously, I don't get twitter. Why doesn't it text me with new tweets? I've changed the settings. Nothing.

I'm not sure if you are still fishing, but I'll bite.1. Go to the twitter page of someone you follow like FBG.

2. Look at the bar under their icon that says something like green checkmark (an actual green checkmark)following

3. Click on the little picture of the phone and make sure it's green.

If that doesn't work then either your information is wrong or your phone doesn't work with twitter.

honestly though, the easiest and best way is to get a twitter app like echofon for the iPhone or whatever they use on blackberries and droids.

getting a billion texts throughout the day gets annoying fast. If you get one of the apps then you can check it through the app when you want to.

HTH

p.s. This is a good idea for a thread. can I start pasting in all the ones from my mom too?

I assure you I'm not fishing, I just haven't had anyone walk me through Twitter before...until now. Thank you very much.And yes, please include email forwards from your mother as well.

Thanks!

 

[Bull Dozier]

My 8 year old son has an email account.

woah woah woah

Seriously?He emails his grandparents with it. That's about it. I have the login and password. There's not much trouble potential here.

 

[AhrnCityPahnder]

My dad used to send me fundie and far right stuff all the time.

One day I asked my dad if he would be interested in reading regular correspondence from the ACLU and planned parenthood. Because, you know, I could forward those sorts of things.

He stopped.

 

[valence]

IT'S ON! I GOT YOU FIRST!!!!!!!!!IT'S ON !!!!You can't send this back to me....that's the rules of the game..Just a reminder Christmas will be here before you know it~You have just been hit with an e-mail snow ball!~ It's the start of..... Snow Ball Fight 2009 !! One rule to this game.... You can NOT hit someone who hasalready hit you! Now.. Go get as many people as you can, Before they get you! I got you first! And you can't get me back! Nanee - Nanee - Nanee! (hehe) We do not stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing. Never Be The First To Get Old!!!! ! If you see someone without a smile, give him yours. Have a GREAT Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this except with like 57 animated gifs was the latest one. Usually it's god stuff.

 

[FatMax]

I had to mess with the size to convey the following as it appeared in my inbox. GM, feel free to forward this to your mom. Sounds like it might be interested in.

Subject: Fwd: Fwd: FW: This is an Eye Opener! It's worth the quick read!!

<>

> :

>

> And they wonder why California is on the brink of bankruptcy!!!! Is your

> state next?

>

> * Note: See page

> A-18 in todays' L. A. Times.

>

> Just One State

> *This is only one State...............If this doesn't open your eyes nothing

> will !*

>

> From the L. A. Times

>

> 1. 40% of all workers in L. A. County ( L. A. County has 10.2

> million people)are working for cash and not paying taxes. This is because

> they are predominantly illegal immigrants w orking without a green card.

>

> 2. 95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.

>

> 3. 75% of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal

> aliens.

>

> 4. Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien

> Mexicans on Medi-Cal , whose births were paid for by taxpayers.

>

> 5. Nearly 35% of all inmates in California detention centers are Mexican

> nationals here illegally

>

> 6. Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in

> garages.

>

> 7. The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles are most likely

> illegal aliens from south of the border.

>

> 8. Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.

>

> 9. 21 radio stations in L. A. are Spanish speaking.

>

> 10. In L. A. County 5.1 million people speak English, 3.9 million speak

> Spanish.

> (There are 10.2 million people in L. A. County )

>

> (All 10 of the above are from the Los Angeles Times)

>

> *Less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but **29% are on

> welfare**. Over 70% of the United Sta tes ' annual population growth (and

> over 90% of California , Florida , and New York ) results from

> immigration. 29% of inmates in federal prisons are illegal aliens.

> *

> We are a bunch of fools for letting this continue

>

> HOW CAN YOU HELP ?

>

> Send copies of this letter to at least two other people. 100 would be even

> better.

>

> This is only one State...............

>

> If this doesn't open your eyes nothing will !

>

> *A**nd you wonder why Nancy Pelosi wants them to become voters!*

 

[General Malaise]

One thing is certain....our mom's HATE Nancy Pelosi.