What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

Welcome to Our Forums. Once you've registered and logged in, you're primed to talk football, among other topics, with the sharpest and most experienced fantasy players on the internet.

Family and Friends Question 1 - Gifts (1 Viewer)

Atomic Punk

Footballguy
I have a few family and friends related questions and thought I would start a few threads to get the wisdom of the FBGs. First one is related to gifts.

I have a busy summer lined up, including: three weddings, two graduations and and engagement party (??) Here are the scenarios:

1. Wedding 1 - Daughter of very good friends is getting married. We have also been very close to the daughter for 15 years.

2. Wedding 2 - same as above but another set of friends son is getting married.

3. Wedding 3 - another set of very good friends is getting married. It is their second marriage each (49) and (54). I am the officiant of the wedding ceremony. Ceremony will include dinner, music, drinks and is at a nice golf course.

4. Graduation 1 - nephew graduating from law school. Great kid. Fairly close to him.

5. Graduation 2 - niece graduating from veterinary assistant community school. Always been very introverted and never really got too close. She is the sister of law school grad.

6. Engagement party - same niece as above got engaged at Christmas. Decent, if not awkward, fiancé. Both are 21 and there are no established plans on when they are getting married. I really had no idea an engagement party was even a thing.

The two graduations and engagement party are all on the same day.

We are comfortable financially. We aren't pulling down FBG money, living in mansions and driving lambos, but we will both be retiring at 55, with Mrs Punk retiring two years ago and me in another 2.

With all of that information, what kind of gift are you giving in these scenarios?

 

bro1ncos

IBL Representative
1 and 2 - cash, as much as you feel comfortable giving

3.Assuming you are donating your services. A nice bottle of wine

4 and 5 - cash, probably less than the weddings but I think because they are brother and sister, you are bound to give the same amount to both siblings

6. Nice household gift off their registry. But this early so you have a wider selection off their list and aren't left with less desirable options

 

-OZ-

Footballguy
1 and 2 - cash, as much as you feel comfortable giving

3.Assuming you are donating your services. A nice bottle of wine

4 and 5 - cash, probably less than the weddings but I think because they are brother and sister, you are bound to give the same amount to both siblings

6. Nice household gift off their registry. But this early so you have a wider selection off their list and aren't left with less desirable options
This. Except I’m not going to #6 or giving anything. 

I’d be inclined to give more to the attorney (you’re closer) in the end we’d give the same amount. 

 
Last edited by a moderator:

Atomic Punk

Footballguy
4 and 5 - cash, probably less than the weddings but I think because they are brother and sister, you are bound to give the same amount to both siblings

6. Nice household gift off their registry. But this early so you have a wider selection off their list and aren't left with less desirable options
You are probably right with 4 and 5. I’m sure it will cause me no end of grief if I don’t give them equal gifts even if I would prefer to give more to the attorney.

I am just leaning cash or gift certificate for #6 but I’m doing it under protest.

 

bro1ncos

IBL Representative
You are probably right with 4 and 5. I’m sure it will cause me no end of grief if I don’t give them equal gifts even if I would prefer to give more to the attorney.

I am just leaning cash or gift certificate for #6 but I’m doing it under protest.
Yea, I'm not attending but think the engagement party is the gift ”thing” now and wedding is cash.

Good news is by not attending the party, maybe it gets you uninvited to the future wedding. Win-win

 

-OZ-

Footballguy
Yea, I'm not attending but think the engagement party is the gift ”thing” now and wedding is cash.

Good news is by not attending the party, maybe it gets you uninvited to the future wedding. Win-win
I guess I get it, but they got engaged 6 months ago. The party looks like a a gift grab. 

 

BobbyLayne

Footballguy
3. They should pay you
Which he should then graciously decline.

We’re giving our Pastor his suggested honorarium of $400. But he also provided us with very insightful premarital preparation (counseling.) 7 sessions, 1.5-2.0 hours, we thought they were beneficial. Considering the time he invested in us, pretty darn cheap.

I haven’t officiated yet but I was commencement speaker at a community college and used to do a few speaking engagements. I always declined the honorarium or donated it back to them if they sent me a check.

*************

Really good suggestions above.

Also, congrats on early retirement. 
 

:thumbup:

 

Chris B.

Footballguy
Are you attending these with your wife?
1. $200
2. $200
3. $200
4. $100
5. $100
6. Bottle of whatever they like to drink in the $60-ish range.

 

NutterButter

Footballguy
1-3 $200 4 $100 5 $50 6  RSVP saying congrats but already have other plans.   Been awhile since I've been to a wedding but $200 would be my standard provided it looks like it will be a solid time and unless its my kids; I'm basically paying you for a fun night out since I like wedding receptions.  

 

Atomic Punk

Footballguy
Chris B. said:
Are you attending these with your wife?
1. $200
2. $200
3. $200
4. $100
5. $100
6. Bottle of whatever they like to drink in the $60-ish range.
Yes, attending all with my wife, so I’m kin of thinking doubling up on the amounts above for 1-3. Pays for my meals, drinks, music and then leaves a nice amount for the couples. The main one I was uncertain about was the second marriage couple. I may do something different/less since I am officiating the ceremony.

 

Atomic Punk

Footballguy
-OZ- said:
I guess I get it, but they got engaged 6 months ago. The party looks like a a gift grab. 
This is where I’m at. I just don’t get it, especially because this niece has never been been big on attending in family gatherings until now.

 

Atomic Punk

Footballguy
BobbyLayne said:
Which he should then graciously decline.

We’re giving our Pastor his suggested honorarium of $400. But he also provided us with very insightful premarital preparation (counseling.) 7 sessions, 1.5-2.0 hours, we thought they were beneficial. Considering the time he invested in us, pretty darn cheap.

I haven’t officiated yet but I was commencement speaker at a community college and used to do a few speaking engagements. I always declined the honorarium or donated it back to them if they sent me a check.

*************

Really good suggestions above.

Also, congrats on early retirement. 
 

:thumbup:
This will be my first time officiating so there is no way I would accept anything from them. They are also very close friends, so I’m honoured to do it. As for upcoming retirement, it is both scary and exciting but I’ll save my thoughts on that for another thread.

 

offdee

Footballguy
This is where I’m at. I just don’t get it, especially because this niece has never been been big on attending in family gatherings until now.
And she's only 21 so just doesn't know....wants a party and gift for everything.

Give her a gift for her graduation and write in the card "sorry won't be able to attend your Engagement party, but congratulation and wish you the best"

You're at least recognizing it and then your graduation gift will cover both events essentially.

 
Last edited by a moderator:

offdee

Footballguy
Weddings: you're essentially gifting them the amount of things you'll be getting at the event (food, alcohol, etc) + extra for congratulations based on how close to them you are.

Graduation: you're gifting them congratulations...all young kids need and appreciate money.

Engagement Party:  go pound sand.

 
Last edited by a moderator:

Atomic Punk

Footballguy
Weddings: you're essentially gifting them the amount of things you'll be getting at the event (food, alcohol, etc) + extra for congratulations

Graduation: you're gifting them congratulations...all young kids need money

Engagement Party:  go pound sand.
Now this is the best summary and am completely on board.

 

-OZ-

Footballguy
Weddings: you're essentially gifting them the amount of things you'll be getting at the event (food, alcohol, etc) + extra for congratulations based on how close to them you are.

Graduation: you're gifting them congratulations...all young kids need and appreciate money.

Engagement Party:  Go pound sand 
What did @Sand do? 

 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top