Family controversy - Wedding Invitations (1 Viewer)

[Whitetail Hunter]

Please record your interaction with the bride when you complain. Then post it.

Tia

 

[comfortably numb]

its not too late to just not go.

not showing up>>>>>>>>>>>>making any scene

 

[Yankee23Fan]

You can probably bring the kids to the service but not the reception. Check with the bride but in my experience the decision not to invite children is usually based on controlling costs for the reception, not because of some desire not to disrupt the ceremony itself.Either way though this is not an unusual situation so you should only be offended if you're "overly sensitive, easily offended guy.". Do you want to be that guy?

This is what we did. We have like 40 cousins between us and the bill for the reception would have been astronomical. We did a party for all family and kids after we got back from the honeymoon.

 

[HughHoney]

Just got an invitation to a wedding that included the words "an adults only reception."

 

[McGarnicle]

Just got an invitation to a wedding that included the words "an adults only reception."

The world has gone mad. Mad I tell you!

 

[iamsmilin]

Had to bump this train wreck as the wedding is tonight. More silliness going on. And several people not happy about the no kids rule (and that doesn't mean just me). Wish we would have declined the invite. And to answer earlier questions, I have custody of my grandson - so he is like a son. At some point - and I hope it's not tonight - I am going to have to tell somebody in the bride's family that IMO no kids is a stupid idea (not everyone will agree hence the IMO).

Keep your damn mouth shut. No one needs the drama.

Seriously, he should change his screen name to The Chick.

If you want to be a #### keep your mouth shut until a later date, don't ruin their wedding tonight with your personal issues.

In fact, send the gift and STAY HOME, everyone will appreciate it.

I'll agree with you but can't his name be something like The #####? Why call all girls out? Some of us know how to behave. Really, we do.

 

[The Dude]

But the dude meant what he said.

I hope somebody shows up tonight with kids in tow - like 4 of them - that will be horrible.

 

[HughHoney]

I have no kids but I still couldn't imagine making that big a deal out of this. Get a babysitter and have an adult night with some adult beverages.

 

[larry_boy_44]

I got married last month.

We actually had to inform people that it was ok to bring their kids because around here (I guess) its just assumed that you find a sitter for your kids.

Its a very common request to ask that no kids come and shouldn't have been a big deal. The party has a lot of drinking and people acting stupid/slutty and isn't a good environment for small children anyways. And during the wedding? Well, who wants, as the bride is halfway down the aisle, some kid throwing a crazy fit? Most people don't, which is why MANY choose this.

No big deal, you should have been way more understanding.

 

[The Dude]

The mexican food down the street gives me some wicked gas - got to get some to prepare for my flyby of the main table.

 

[Nikki2200]

Why do people not want kids at their wedding? I never really understood this. Families that bring kids don't stay around long anyway. They go to the ceremony, eat some food at the reception, and are mostly out of there before the good stuff starts.

And why is a 12 year old OK, but not an 11 year old?

There has got to be some dooshy 11 year old in your family or something?

Well for one... some people want their weddings to be adult affairs and not have children running around/crying/etc. Some people don't mind kids there. It's their party. They can have the party any way they want to.

Secondly, it's freaking expensive. I'm paying $45 a piece for a cheeseburger and adding children increases the headcount dramatically in some situations.

12 is normally the cut off for such things. They didn't make that up themselves.

This is not an unusual request at all. Most weddings I've been to, there are no children. I didn't want children at mine, but there was no way to get around it because my fiance's family is travelling from 500 miles away and can't leave the kids anywhere, so I can't say no kids. Personally I don't think it's appropriate for children to be there and I'm hoping most of the guests on my side leave them home (I'm actually working out arrangements with my friends to get a babysitter so they will come to the ceremony, eat dinner, and then go back to a hotel room and watch videos and stuff). There will be a lot of drinking, a loud 9 piece band playing music they will probably not enjoy, and it goes until midnight. It is an adult event.

 

[shadyridr]

larryboy's invite said No Dragons Allowed

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I got married last month.

Send Dez my best.

 

[Billy Bats]

Had to bump this train wreck as the wedding is tonight. More silliness going on. And several people not happy about the no kids rule (and that doesn't mean just me). Wish we would have declined the invite. And to answer earlier questions, I have custody of my grandson - so he is like a son. At some point - and I hope it's not tonight - I am going to have to tell somebody in the bride's family that IMO no kids is a stupid idea (not everyone will agree hence the IMO).

Keep your damn mouth shut. No one needs the drama.

Seriously, he should change his screen name to The Chick.

If you want to be a #### keep your mouth shut until a later date, don't ruin their wedding tonight with your personal issues.

In fact, send the gift and STAY HOME, everyone will appreciate it.

I'll agree with you but can't his name be something like The #####? Why call all girls out? Some of us know how to behave. Really, we do.

Although you are posting on a football website, so you might be an exception to the rule.

 

[Fennis]

I have no kids but I still couldn't imagine making that big a deal out of this. Get a babysitter and have an adult night with some adult beverages.

you should babysit someone's kids that night, just so you can bring kids to the wedding.

 

[Hang 10]

Don't listen to these guys. When the preacher asks if there are any objections, there's your moment. Make us proud.

:whitestar:

 

[Billy Bats]

Not only take your grandson tonight, but take a bunch of his little friends too. That'll show 'em who's boss.

 

[bierfiend]

An old friend from hs got married last august. He requested no children. My parents were available to watch our daughter- no problem.

Maybe 5 years back or so a cousin of mine held a wedding in NY (we were living in Colorado). It was the daughter of my mother's cousin (whom i was very close to growing up). They wanted theirs to be child free as well and hired a babysitter to watch the children. We weren't totally comfortable with that scenario and ultimately decided not to go (sent a very nice gift). It was disappointing to miss the family affair but that is what we felt was necessary. I am unaware of any hard feelings about it and things seemed fine when we attend another cousin's wedding this past august in NY.... we had a busy august!

 

[Pick]

Since I got dragged in a bit let me say I didn't think Pick was being judgmental. I have seen judgmental Pick and that wasn't him. That was perhaps myopic Pick but not judgmental.

For the record I always wanted kids. My wife was less than thrilled with the idea. She always said she never felt the urge and that when other people discussed it it just felt wrong for her. Several miscarriages and a hysterectomy later it seems she was right. Now due to her illness I don't have the money or time to raise a child the way I think is appropriate so I guess we'll roll kid free to the end.

Glad that got cleared up.

 

[bentley]

Also lame when you're trying to have adult fun, and you find a tree to take a leak while getting high outside with one of the bridesmaids and whoops here comes a little kid and now we have to worry about the kid saying he saw that man over there's penis and now we're off and running. SAD EFFING BANANA.

You'd be good with my boys because they'd be peeing on the other side of the tree.

 

[AAABatteries]

I think no kids is a great rule then I don't have to go and let my wife go while I watch the kids. I hate weddings.

 

[Ignoramus]

Update?

 

[RUSF18]

Update?

Hope he wakes up from the coma quickly.

 

[Psychopav]

First they said "no kids" and I didn't stand up, since I was not a kid....

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I got married last month.

Send Dez my best.

 

[The Dude]

Didn't say anything - as I indicated was likely. May in time. We'll see.

Thanks for all the support

 

[SWC]

hey she does not want kids ther you have to just live with it and farting around the bride does not make you right it just makes you the guy who farted on the bride and who even wants to be that guy anyhow so do not fart on her take the to bank brohans

 

[-fish-]

If I could, I'd make my 9 year old's birthday a kid-free event.

 

[eoMMan]

Why is she being a jerk? Its her party her rules. If you dont like it RSVP no. Heck id be thrilled. Perfect excuse to find a babysitter and have some fun. And one less plate you have to pay for.

This.

This This.

 

[Gawain]

This thread reminds me of the Kitchen Nightmares where the restauranteur wanted Ramsey to tell the customers the food was good and the customers were wrong.

ETA: Are your children also trapped in cat bodies?

 

[Fennis]

If I could, I'd make my 9 year old's birthday a kid-free event.

 

[Nikki2200]

Didn't say anything - as I indicated was likely. May in time. We'll see.

Thanks for all the support

I can certainly understand why you would not want to maintain your silence after this grave injustice has been imposed on you.

 

[McGarnicle]

Give the bride the URL for this thread. Not only did you feel slighted, but look at all these other people who agree with you.

 

[Godsbrother]

I am curious what The Dude gave as a wedding gift. A nasty card with a bill for the babysitter sounds appropriate.

 

[The Dude]

Wrote a check for $100 - when I got there and they said it was a cash bar - i asked my wife for the card so I could steam open the envelope and place a check for less inside.

Obviously it was a joke.

The hundo was more than appropriate and easily covered the meal.

 

[McGarnicle]

Wrote a check for $100 - when I got there and they said it was a cash bar - i asked my wife for the card so I could steam open the envelope and place a check for less inside.

Obviously it was a joke.

The hundo was more than appropriate and easily covered the meal.

Now a cash bar at a wedding, that's very tacky.

 

[Hooper31]

Thanks for all the support

Support?

 

[Godsbrother]

Wrote a check for $100 - when I got there and they said it was a cash bar - i asked my wife for the card so I could steam open the envelope and place a check for less inside.

Obviously it was a joke.

The hundo was more than appropriate and easily covered the meal.

Now a cash bar at a wedding, that's very tacky.

Cash bars at a wedding is pretty bad.

 

[jhib]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

Now that's a different matter entirely. Very douchey IMO to not allow a single guest to bring a date. That just screams that you're cheap.

On a separate note, I went to the wedding of my wife's friend who married an Indian doctor. Very nice affair, but the place seemed too small for all the guests and they didn't have enough hors d'oeuvres. Later we found out that there were dozens of distant family members of the groom who showed up completely uninvited. The staff had to scramble at the last minute to set up more tables for them.

Please. It screams that you don't want a random person who you've never met at your wedding. We invited people with serious significant others who had them, but my fiancee's friends who are completely single aren't going to be bringing some random guy who they've been on two J-dates with.

This is really bad form.

Fine, anyone upset by it doesn't need to come. We have a limit on the amount of people we can have due to the size of the place, and I'm sorry, we're not going to exclude people that we actually want there to allow people to bring someone they barely know just so they can have a dance partner.

I realize they are different situations (and we're looking at them from different angles), but I find it interesting that the idea of not inviting young family members is met with shrugs and "it's their party, their rules" and "it's not about the guests, it's about the couple" while the idea of not inviting random guests is douchy, cheap, and really bad form.

 

[McGarnicle]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

Now that's a different matter entirely. Very douchey IMO to not allow a single guest to bring a date. That just screams that you're cheap.

On a separate note, I went to the wedding of my wife's friend who married an Indian doctor. Very nice affair, but the place seemed too small for all the guests and they didn't have enough hors d'oeuvres. Later we found out that there were dozens of distant family members of the groom who showed up completely uninvited. The staff had to scramble at the last minute to set up more tables for them.

Please. It screams that you don't want a random person who you've never met at your wedding. We invited people with serious significant others who had them, but my fiancee's friends who are completely single aren't going to be bringing some random guy who they've been on two J-dates with.

This is really bad form.

Fine, anyone upset by it doesn't need to come. We have a limit on the amount of people we can have due to the size of the place, and I'm sorry, we're not going to exclude people that we actually want there to allow people to bring someone they barely know just so they can have a dance partner.

I realize they are different situations (and we're looking at them from different angles), but I find it interesting that the idea of not inviting young family members is met with shrugs and "it's their party, their rules" and "it's not about the guests, it's about the couple" while the idea of not inviting random guests is douchy, cheap, and really bad form.

I had a talk with my wife about this and she disagreed with my position completely. She questioned why the couple would be obligated to pay for someone the invited guest barely knows just so he or she can get laid. Thinking back to the planning of our wedding and the costs, I have to agree now. We weren't faced with this issue since everyone had either a spouse or significant other. In a wedding of twentysomethings with lots of single friends, I can see how it could get really pricey.

 

[Godsbrother]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

Now that's a different matter entirely. Very douchey IMO to not allow a single guest to bring a date. That just screams that you're cheap.

On a separate note, I went to the wedding of my wife's friend who married an Indian doctor. Very nice affair, but the place seemed too small for all the guests and they didn't have enough hors d'oeuvres. Later we found out that there were dozens of distant family members of the groom who showed up completely uninvited. The staff had to scramble at the last minute to set up more tables for them.

Please. It screams that you don't want a random person who you've never met at your wedding. We invited people with serious significant others who had them, but my fiancee's friends who are completely single aren't going to be bringing some random guy who they've been on two J-dates with.

This is really bad form.

Fine, anyone upset by it doesn't need to come. We have a limit on the amount of people we can have due to the size of the place, and I'm sorry, we're not going to exclude people that we actually want there to allow people to bring someone they barely know just so they can have a dance partner.

I realize they are different situations (and we're looking at them from different angles), but I find it interesting that the idea of not inviting young family members is met with shrugs and "it's their party, their rules" and "it's not about the guests, it's about the couple" while the idea of not inviting random guests is douchy, cheap, and really bad form.

I don't think either one is douchy. Whoever is hosting the wedding should call the shots. I do think having a cash bar is douchy though...

 

[Pipes]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

Now that's a different matter entirely. Very douchey IMO to not allow a single guest to bring a date. That just screams that you're cheap.

On a separate note, I went to the wedding of my wife's friend who married an Indian doctor. Very nice affair, but the place seemed too small for all the guests and they didn't have enough hors d'oeuvres. Later we found out that there were dozens of distant family members of the groom who showed up completely uninvited. The staff had to scramble at the last minute to set up more tables for them.

Please. It screams that you don't want a random person who you've never met at your wedding. We invited people with serious significant others who had them, but my fiancee's friends who are completely single aren't going to be bringing some random guy who they've been on two J-dates with.

This is really bad form.

Fine, anyone upset by it doesn't need to come. We have a limit on the amount of people we can have due to the size of the place, and I'm sorry, we're not going to exclude people that we actually want there to allow people to bring someone they barely know just so they can have a dance partner.

I realize they are different situations (and we're looking at them from different angles), but I find it interesting that the idea of not inviting young family members is met with shrugs and "it's their party, their rules" and "it's not about the guests, it's about the couple" while the idea of not inviting random guests is douchy, cheap, and really bad form.

I don't think either one is douchy. Whoever is hosting the wedding should call the shots. I do think having a cash bar is douchy though...

Why is a cash bar douchy? I'd say it's about 50/50 with the weddings I've been to recently and while I appreciate the free drinks I don't think anything less of the individuals if I have to pay for my drinks. Weddings are expensive and I certainly don't expect the bride and groom to pay for all of the drinks for 200 plus people.

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

Wrote a check for $100 - when I got there and they said it was a cash bar - i asked my wife for the card so I could steam open the envelope and place a check for less inside.

Obviously it was a joke.

The hundo was more than appropriate and easily covered the meal.

Now a cash bar at a wedding, that's very tacky.

Cash bars at a wedding is pretty bad.

Yea, but it shows that money was tight for this couple.

 

[Pipes]

Wrote a check for $100 - when I got there and they said it was a cash bar - i asked my wife for the card so I could steam open the envelope and place a check for less inside.

Obviously it was a joke.

The hundo was more than appropriate and easily covered the meal.

I agree it's appropriate gift if's there is a cash bar. If they are covering all of your drinks then a hundo is being cheap. It's a gift after all.

 

[Godsbrother]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

Now that's a different matter entirely. Very douchey IMO to not allow a single guest to bring a date. That just screams that you're cheap.

On a separate note, I went to the wedding of my wife's friend who married an Indian doctor. Very nice affair, but the place seemed too small for all the guests and they didn't have enough hors d'oeuvres. Later we found out that there were dozens of distant family members of the groom who showed up completely uninvited. The staff had to scramble at the last minute to set up more tables for them.

Please. It screams that you don't want a random person who you've never met at your wedding. We invited people with serious significant others who had them, but my fiancee's friends who are completely single aren't going to be bringing some random guy who they've been on two J-dates with.

This is really bad form.

Fine, anyone upset by it doesn't need to come. We have a limit on the amount of people we can have due to the size of the place, and I'm sorry, we're not going to exclude people that we actually want there to allow people to bring someone they barely know just so they can have a dance partner.

I realize they are different situations (and we're looking at them from different angles), but I find it interesting that the idea of not inviting young family members is met with shrugs and "it's their party, their rules" and "it's not about the guests, it's about the couple" while the idea of not inviting random guests is douchy, cheap, and really bad form.

I don't think either one is douchy. Whoever is hosting the wedding should call the shots. I do think having a cash bar is douchy though...

Why is a cash bar douchy? I'd say it's about 50/50 with the weddings I've been to recently and while I appreciate the free drinks I don't think anything less of the individuals if I have to pay for my drinks. Weddings are expensive and I certainly don't expect the bride and groom to pay for all of the drinks for 200 plus people.

I guess I am old school and believe that you don't have a party and ask people to pay for it.

If money is tight then I would just have beer, wine and soft drinks or have a dry wedding.

 

[comfortably numb]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

Now that's a different matter entirely. Very douchey IMO to not allow a single guest to bring a date. That just screams that you're cheap.

On a separate note, I went to the wedding of my wife's friend who married an Indian doctor. Very nice affair, but the place seemed too small for all the guests and they didn't have enough hors d'oeuvres. Later we found out that there were dozens of distant family members of the groom who showed up completely uninvited. The staff had to scramble at the last minute to set up more tables for them.

Please. It screams that you don't want a random person who you've never met at your wedding. We invited people with serious significant others who had them, but my fiancee's friends who are completely single aren't going to be bringing some random guy who they've been on two J-dates with.

This is really bad form.

Fine, anyone upset by it doesn't need to come. We have a limit on the amount of people we can have due to the size of the place, and I'm sorry, we're not going to exclude people that we actually want there to allow people to bring someone they barely know just so they can have a dance partner.

I realize they are different situations (and we're looking at them from different angles), but I find it interesting that the idea of not inviting young family members is met with shrugs and "it's their party, their rules" and "it's not about the guests, it's about the couple" while the idea of not inviting random guests is douchy, cheap, and really bad form.

I don't think either one is douchy. Whoever is hosting the wedding should call the shots. I do think having a cash bar is douchy though...

Why is a cash bar douchy? I'd say it's about 50/50 with the weddings I've been to recently and while I appreciate the free drinks I don't think anything less of the individuals if I have to pay for my drinks. Weddings are expensive and I certainly don't expect the bride and groom to pay for all of the drinks for 200 plus people.

I'm not one to make a stink about cash bars, but it would be like inviting people to your wedding and then having a desert table that charges for each desert.

I have been to both, don't care either way, but if i am inviting people to a function like my wedding I wouldn't want then having to part with any money.

If money is tight, we would have to sacrifice flowers/invitations/limo or something but food/drink are important to me when being responsible for hosting something.

 

[Pipes]

re are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

Now that's a different matter entirely. Very douchey IMO to not allow a single guest to bring a date. That just screams that you're cheap.

On a separate note, I went to the wedding of my wife's friend who married an Indian doctor. Very nice affair, but the place seemed too small for all the guests and they didn't have enough hors d'oeuvres. Later we found out that there were dozens of distant family members of the groom who showed up completely uninvited. The staff had to scramble at the last minute to set up more tables for them.

Please. It screams that you don't want a random person who you've never met at your wedding. We invited people with serious significant others who had them, but my fiancee's friends who are completely single aren't going to be bringing some random guy who they've been on two J-dates with.

This is really bad form.

Fine, anyone upset by it doesn't need to come. We have a limit on the amount of people we can have due to the size of the place, and I'm sorry, we're not going to exclude people that we actually want there to allow people to bring someone they barely know just so they can have a dance partner.

I realize they are different situations (and we're looking at them from different angles), but I find it interesting that the idea of not inviting young family members is met with shrugs and "it's their party, their rules" and "it's not about the guests, it's about the couple" while the idea of not inviting random guests is douchy, cheap, and really bad form.

I don't think either one is douchy. Whoever is hosting the wedding should call the shots. I do think having a cash bar is douchy though...

Why is a cash bar douchy? I'd say it's about 50/50 with the weddings I've been to recently and while I appreciate the free drinks I don't think anything less of the individuals if I have to pay for my drinks. Weddings are expensive and I certainly don't expect the bride and groom to pay for all of the drinks for 200 plus people.

I guess I am old school and believe that you don't have a party and ask people to pay for it.

If money is tight then I would just have beer, wine and soft drinks or have a dry wedding.

Most cash bar weddings still have free beer, soda and champagne and or wine. It's just the liquor they are not paying for. I don't get your old school comment as I think it's old school, if you are invited to a party, to bring a bottle of something to the host. I'd never show up to a party emptyhanded.

 

[McGarnicle]

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

There are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

Now that's a different matter entirely. Very douchey IMO to not allow a single guest to bring a date. That just screams that you're cheap.

On a separate note, I went to the wedding of my wife's friend who married an Indian doctor. Very nice affair, but the place seemed too small for all the guests and they didn't have enough hors d'oeuvres. Later we found out that there were dozens of distant family members of the groom who showed up completely uninvited. The staff had to scramble at the last minute to set up more tables for them.

Please. It screams that you don't want a random person who you've never met at your wedding. We invited people with serious significant others who had them, but my fiancee's friends who are completely single aren't going to be bringing some random guy who they've been on two J-dates with.

This is really bad form.

Fine, anyone upset by it doesn't need to come. We have a limit on the amount of people we can have due to the size of the place, and I'm sorry, we're not going to exclude people that we actually want there to allow people to bring someone they barely know just so they can have a dance partner.

I realize they are different situations (and we're looking at them from different angles), but I find it interesting that the idea of not inviting young family members is met with shrugs and "it's their party, their rules" and "it's not about the guests, it's about the couple" while the idea of not inviting random guests is douchy, cheap, and really bad form.

I don't think either one is douchy. Whoever is hosting the wedding should call the shots. I do think having a cash bar is douchy though...

Why is a cash bar douchy? I'd say it's about 50/50 with the weddings I've been to recently and while I appreciate the free drinks I don't think anything less of the individuals if I have to pay for my drinks. Weddings are expensive and I certainly don't expect the bride and groom to pay for all of the drinks for 200 plus people.

I would trim the guest list before I would charge for drinks. The guests are already paying for a new outfit in many cases, perhaps travel and hotel, plus a cash gift to cover their meal and now they have to pony up for every drink too? It's considered poor etiquette.

There are creative ways to offer free alcohol on a budget, like just offering beer and wine, and you can buy it yourself to save money too.

 

[Godsbrother]

re are ignorant and passive aggressive people who would RSVP with the kids included anyway. Then they know they've put you in the uncomfortable position of having to clarify the no kids rule, then they'd feign surprise and say they assumed the whole family was invited.

As everyone says, this is your issue, not theirs. Enjoy your night without the grandson, or don't go.

I do think it's a little weird how the request was made ("please no kids under 12"), but maybe this is a regional thing when it comes to the invitation. If they don't want kids there, don't invite them. You do this by addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. The Dude" and leaving out anything about "and Family" or "and Grandson". This way if you want to have all your cousins there but not friends' kids, you can put the "and family" on those envelopes and leave it off others. And if there's a teenage kid you do want there, name them specifically on the invitation. Then there's no need for blanket statements.

Cool. So if you're inviting a bunch of ####### idiots to your wedding, make sure to include that line. Do people you invite who are single also need to be told they can't bring a guest to the wedding if they haven't been handed an invitation with "...and Guest" on it?

Now that's a different matter entirely. Very douchey IMO to not allow a single guest to bring a date. That just screams that you're cheap.

On a separate note, I went to the wedding of my wife's friend who married an Indian doctor. Very nice affair, but the place seemed too small for all the guests and they didn't have enough hors d'oeuvres. Later we found out that there were dozens of distant family members of the groom who showed up completely uninvited. The staff had to scramble at the last minute to set up more tables for them.

Please. It screams that you don't want a random person who you've never met at your wedding. We invited people with serious significant others who had them, but my fiancee's friends who are completely single aren't going to be bringing some random guy who they've been on two J-dates with.

This is really bad form.

Fine, anyone upset by it doesn't need to come. We have a limit on the amount of people we can have due to the size of the place, and I'm sorry, we're not going to exclude people that we actually want there to allow people to bring someone they barely know just so they can have a dance partner.

I realize they are different situations (and we're looking at them from different angles), but I find it interesting that the idea of not inviting young family members is met with shrugs and "it's their party, their rules" and "it's not about the guests, it's about the couple" while the idea of not inviting random guests is douchy, cheap, and really bad form.

I don't think either one is douchy. Whoever is hosting the wedding should call the shots. I do think having a cash bar is douchy though...

Why is a cash bar douchy? I'd say it's about 50/50 with the weddings I've been to recently and while I appreciate the free drinks I don't think anything less of the individuals if I have to pay for my drinks. Weddings are expensive and I certainly don't expect the bride and groom to pay for all of the drinks for 200 plus people.

I guess I am old school and believe that you don't have a party and ask people to pay for it.

If money is tight then I would just have beer, wine and soft drinks or have a dry wedding.

Most cash bar weddings still have free beer, soda and champagne and or wine. It's just the liquor they are not paying for. I don't get your old school comment as I think it's old school, if you are invited to a party, to bring a bottle of something to the host. I'd never show up to a party emptyhanded.

Never ever heard of bringing a bottle to a wedding.

 

[avoiding injuries]

I haven't been to a cash bar wedding in quite a while. The ones that were cash bars were boring (empty dance floor) ended earlier and an overall disappointment. Perfect atmosphere to allow kids.

They did this wedding wrong, but not because of the no kids policy.