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Father's Day awkward (1 Viewer)

NCCommish

NCCommish

Footballguy
Didn't want to muck up the Father's Day thread with this.

So I don't have kids. As long time readers know my wife couldn't have children and so it just never happened for us. Given her condition the last decade and a half may be for the best. 

Twice today someone has wished me Happy Father's Day. When I tell them I don't have kids they have that "Oh no I just asked a fat woman when she was due" look on their face. Then they feel compelled to tell me how lucky I am when they obviously don't believe that. I'd don't feel lucky. I wanted kids. And days like this, especially as I get older, take on significance as a reminder of things I've missed.

So just keep in mind that not every male over a certain age has kids. Even if we wished we did.

 
NCCommish said:
Didn't want to muck up the Father's Day thread with this.

So I don't have kids. As long time readers know my wife couldn't have children and so it just never happened for us. Given her condition the last decade and a half may be for the best. 

Twice today someone has wished me Happy Father's Day. When I tell them I don't have kids they have that "Oh no I just asked a fat woman when she was due" look on their face. Then they feel compelled to tell me how lucky I am when they obviously don't believe that. I'd don't feel lucky. I wanted kids. And days like this, especially as I get older, take on significance as a reminder of things I've missed.

So just keep in mind that not every male over a certain age has kids. Even if we wished we did.
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It's why I wish all the fathers in the world well and just simply say that if we're not fathers, then we had one. That seems to be the all-inclusive way to be. 

And believe it or not, I am about being inclusive.  

 
NCCommish said:
Didn't want to muck up the Father's Day thread with this.

So I don't have kids. As long time readers know my wife couldn't have children and so it just never happened for us. Given her condition the last decade and a half may be for the best. 

Twice today someone has wished me Happy Father's Day. When I tell them I don't have kids they have that "Oh no I just asked a fat woman when she was due" look on their face. Then they feel compelled to tell me how lucky I am when they obviously don't believe that. I'd don't feel lucky. I wanted kids. And days like this, especially as I get older, take on significance as a reminder of things I've missed.

So just keep in mind that not every male over a certain age has kids. Even if we wished we did.
Click to expand...
And I'm sorry you never got to have kids. In a bit of awkwardness, I still hold out hope myself.  

 
Sorry to hear that. Also seems really weird that people would wish some random person happy Father's Day. 

 
Really we should only give a special day to men who never wanted to be fathers in the first place but ended up being good dads anyway.  Doesn't make a lot of sense to have a big special day in honor of people that already got exactly what they want.  We don't have Lottery Winners Day.

 
fatguyinalittlecoat said:
Really we should only give a special day to men who never wanted to be fathers in the first place but ended up being good dads anyway.  Doesn't make a lot of sense to have a big special day in honor of people that already got exactly what they want.  We don't have Lottery Winners Day.
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:lol: This is why you are King Of Smack. 

 
I like when women wish me happy Father's day and I return with you too!!!

 
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It's only awkward because you made it that way. If you just say thank you and move on it wouldn't be awkward for either of you.

 
NCCommish said:
Didn't want to muck up the Father's Day thread with this.

So I don't have kids. As long time readers know my wife couldn't have children and so it just never happened for us. Given her condition the last decade and a half may be for the best. 

Twice today someone has wished me Happy Father's Day. When I tell them I don't have kids they have that "Oh no I just asked a fat woman when she was due" look on their face. Then they feel compelled to tell me how lucky I am when they obviously don't believe that. I'd don't feel lucky. I wanted kids. And days like this, especially as I get older, take on significance as a reminder of things I've missed.

So just keep in mind that not every male over a certain age has kids. Even if we wished we did.
Click to expand...
And not every adult male without kids wishes they had them.

 
Dr Oadi said:
I just say same to you although I don't regret not having kids (yet). 
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Regret may not be the right word. It's a sense of loss. Never going to your kids first game or play or recital or graduation. It's seeing people not understand the beauty and importance of what they have and not understanding why they don't.

When my wife was well it was easy to gloss over it as we could be so selfish with each other's time. But as I see the twilight starting to come on the feelings are harder to ignore.

 
If this is a sensitive subject I apologize and feel free to ignore my post. How come you never adopted or did roster care?

 
Not that it's the same, but with as good of a man as you are NCC I'm sure you've been a father figure of some capacity to the kids that have known you. :thumbup:

So...Happy Father Figure Day (TM)!

 
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Not a dad either (by choice), but I appreciate all the dads out there doing good for their kids.  Just keep them away from me.   :P

 
msudaisy26 said:
If this is a sensitive subject I apologize and feel free to ignore my post. How come you never adopted or did roster care?
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There was a thought we would but then my wife started having issues both physical and emotional that drained us financially and didn't foster a good environment to bring a child in need into.

 
fatguyinalittlecoat said:
Really we should only give a special day to men who never wanted to be fathers in the first place but ended up being good dads anyway.  Doesn't make a lot of sense to have a big special day in honor of people that already got exactly what they want.  We don't have Lottery Winners Day.
Click to expand...
You have secretaries day. Nuff said

 
fatguyinalittlecoat said:
Really we should only give a special day to men who never wanted to be fathers in the first place but ended up being good dads anyway.  Doesn't make a lot of sense to have a big special day in honor of people that already got exactly what they want.  We don't have Lottery Winners Day.
Click to expand...
We have 12 of those days a year. It's the first of the month and you don't have to make a CS payment.

 
My sympathies to you and your wife for not being able to have kids.   I am an adult male that has chosen not to have kids--so I can relate to the weird "Fathers Day" wishes to an extent.  When people wish me a Happy Fathers Day--I don't correct them or allow it to feel awkward because they are people that are actaully taking the time and effort to say and wish me something nice--even if they don't know enough of my backstory to know it isn't applicable to me.  These aren't mean spirited people who are familiar with yours or my background or decisions that are trying to open up wounds.  The moment somebody wishes you a Happy Fathers Day--the ball is in your court to how you react to them--and how you respond to the situation.   While I'm not a very religious person--I still say thank you when somebody wishes me a Merry Xmas.    Basically what I'm saying is--don't let this get you down.   

 
NCCommish said:
Didn't want to muck up the Father's Day thread with this.

So I don't have kids. As long time readers know my wife couldn't have children and so it just never happened for us. Given her condition the last decade and a half may be for the best. 

Twice today someone has wished me Happy Father's Day. When I tell them I don't have kids they have that "Oh no I just asked a fat woman when she was due" look on their face. Then they feel compelled to tell me how lucky I am when they obviously don't believe that. I'd don't feel lucky. I wanted kids. And days like this, especially as I get older, take on significance as a reminder of things I've missed.

So just keep in mind that not every male over a certain age has kids. Even if we wished we did.
Click to expand...
 i have no kids and my father has passed......someone says happy fathers day to me, i just smile and nod and wonder how hallmark was able to pull this off.

 
NCCommish said:
Didn't want to muck up the Father's Day thread with this.

So I don't have kids. As long time readers know my wife couldn't have children and so it just never happened for us. Given her condition the last decade and a half may be for the best. 

Twice today someone has wished me Happy Father's Day. When I tell them I don't have kids they have that "Oh no I just asked a fat woman when she was due" look on their face. Then they feel compelled to tell me how lucky I am when they obviously don't believe that. I'd don't feel lucky. I wanted kids. And days like this, especially as I get older, take on significance as a reminder of things I've missed.

So just keep in mind that not every male over a certain age has kids. Even if we wished we did.
Click to expand...
Well said, NCC. 

Big hug today.

 
rockaction said:
It's why I wish all the fathers in the world well and just simply say that if we're not fathers, then we had one. That seems to be the all-inclusive way to be. 

And believe it or not, I am about being inclusive.  
Click to expand...
Well,  I don't have kids and my father was a piece of <censored>.  So I cringe on this day.

 
It's like wishing a Jewish person a merry Christmas or happy easter. You say it because it's that day and probably just becomes habit. Sounds like this has been ongoing for a number of years. I hope at some point you can get back to some sort of normal life together and all this hasn't snowballed. 

My wife and I had tried for years, and pretty much had just figured it wasn't going to happen. I'm expecting a boy in 3 months. If I ever start to take it for granted I'll try to think of your post.

 
Just to be clear guys I wasn't talking about random strangers I was talking about people I work with I would never correct a random stranger that way there be no sense in it. But I don't want to have the oh so when is your kids birthday conversation with workers so it's better to correct them then to let it linger

 
Someone mentioned sperm donation but I wouldn't be a candidate. My family has a genetic issue which leads to girls being born severely developmentally challenged. Not all but it's something like a 50% or better chance.

 
Andy Dufresne said:
Not that it's the same, but with as good of a man as you are NCC I'm sure you've been a father figure of some capacity to the kids that have known you. :thumbup:

So...Happy Father Figure Day (TM)!
Click to expand...
Thanks. I have to admit part of my volunteer work with kids was driven by that sentiment. I hope that at some point in their lives when they really need to remember it something I taught them or told them about how to be a good man will come through and save them from a bad choice. If that happens even once that's a huge win.

And I do have my "favorite niece". She is actually the step daughter of one of my oldest friends. Her real dad ignores her except when he is putting her down while he idolizes his son. Her stepdad, my friend, ignored all the kids while he chased a buck. And he can be a real ### to her mom at times. So she doesn't have a great relationship with either. But she and I have always gotten along since she was about 9. She was smart and a bit of a smart ### so we clicked. And now that she is 26 I am the one she comes to when she needs advice or even just wants to shoot the breeze. If I had a daughter and she turned out just like her I would be thrilled. So I got that going for me which is nice.

 
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