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FBGs with kids (especially daughters) -- Highly recommend watching this (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter gianmarco
- Start date
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
Thanks for sharing.
We have recently taken back all control of our girls phones after a similar incident as what was described in this video. Another girl went to the mall and didn't invite our daughter who was subsequently upset and they both attacked each other on snapchat. Turns out the other girl didn't invite my daughter because she was worried my daughter would tell the basketball coach since the day of the mall visit there was practice.
Personally I don/t think kids should have phones at all but unfortunately its become a status symbol. No kid need the entire internet at the tips of their fingers.
We have recently taken back all control of our girls phones after a similar incident as what was described in this video. Another girl went to the mall and didn't invite our daughter who was subsequently upset and they both attacked each other on snapchat. Turns out the other girl didn't invite my daughter because she was worried my daughter would tell the basketball coach since the day of the mall visit there was practice.
Personally I don/t think kids should have phones at all but unfortunately its become a status symbol. No kid need the entire internet at the tips of their fingers.
Hot Diggity Dog
Footballguy
Under 18 kids should not have Facebook and or all kinds of social media, unless the parents are very vigilant. we let our kids have snapchat only and check it regularly. You don't want your kid to be the one banging two rocks together saying "my dad tells this is snapchat" but it's got to be monitored.
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
TL/DR - Delete snapchat now. Not worth it.
I'm not proud to share this but I feel compelled to help others.....My 14 y/o daughter has already received her first D*@# pic. Not unlike adult men, the boys are hyper aggressive and even more so online. Again, much like a lot of people, they are ballsy little effers behind their phone. Of course she was an idiot and showed her friends at school. One of the girls told their parents and our daughter was subsequently and rightfully suspended from school for 3 days.
Teenagers are awful people, my daughter included. After talking with other parents with older kids I know now that all kids are lying, awful people and you're naive if you don't think so.
Poke_4_Life
Footballguy
My (step)daughter is 20 now. The last year has been great, but from 13-19 was hell. Take the advice in the linked video.
I think after tons of therapy our daughter has finally turned the corner, not sure if it was just maturity or all the therapy but it took a ton of money and time to get her to being a 'normal' adult.
Now if she can just get enough education to get meaningful employment... (she's taking classes at a junior college and doing well, but one step at a time)
I think after tons of therapy our daughter has finally turned the corner, not sure if it was just maturity or all the therapy but it took a ton of money and time to get her to being a 'normal' adult.
Now if she can just get enough education to get meaningful employment... (she's taking classes at a junior college and doing well, but one step at a time)
Grahamburn
Footballguy
My daughter is five so I'm not quite at this level of insanity yet. Can't these phones be set up to only field/send calls? Seems like a lot of this stuff can be chalked up to poor parenting.
Basically, "I pay for the phone, you use it according to my rules or you don't have it."
Basically, "I pay for the phone, you use it according to my rules or you don't have it."
Han Solo
Footballguy
While all kids may lie not all teenagers are awful people. I'm sure for some it's easy to think that but it's a very broad stroke. Hopefully the boy that sent the pic to your daughter was disciplined also and not a school suspension either. Something a little more meaningful.
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
I was being a little hyperbolic. My girls are great and even people with the purest of hearts can do cruddy stuff from time to time when theyre young and dumb.
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dkp993
Footballguy
Great video. I had this exact conversation a few weeks ago with my wife and a few friends. Social media and it’s negative influences has been bugging me for a while, so much so that I deleted my Facebook account (the only social media platform I was on). I, in my heart, believe that social media and reality TV aren the 2 biggest threats to our society right now. The influence these have over our preteen’s and teen’s is flat out scary.
The lessons being taught by social media and reality TV - drama gets attention, the vapid-ness, fake perfect life, feelings of lessor then, etc etc- on the young impressionable minds at an age they are highly susceptible to these feelings and influences is an epidemic.
The lessons being taught by social media and reality TV - drama gets attention, the vapid-ness, fake perfect life, feelings of lessor then, etc etc- on the young impressionable minds at an age they are highly susceptible to these feelings and influences is an epidemic.
Han Solo
Footballguy
I understand completely. I can't speak towards having girls but i have been a single parent to my son since he was 12 and is now 19. Things will improve greatly in the future. Hang in there with them and try and monitor the best you can.
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
I'm a strong believer in taking just 1 or 2 classes a semester for kids when "school isn't for them".
It might take a long time but it wont overwhelm them, bankrupt them (on their parents) and it beats the alternative of ending up at 30 or 40 with no degree or higher education.
Poke_4_Life
Footballguy
Exactly what she's doing.
I would actually like her to look into something medical that doesn't even need a degree. But hey, she's making good grades a few classes at a time right now.
NewlyRetired
Footballguy
My daughter is 19 and in college now.
She has and continues to suffer from depression and has been to councilors.
She was a prime target for bullying in High School, as she looked, dressed and acted differently than other teen girls, but she swears she never experienced any and I never saw any myself trying to be vigilent.
She has always had just one social media account and that is tumblr, which appears to be much more topic related than the "look at me" versions of facebook and twitter.
She has and continues to suffer from depression and has been to councilors.
She was a prime target for bullying in High School, as she looked, dressed and acted differently than other teen girls, but she swears she never experienced any and I never saw any myself trying to be vigilent.
She has always had just one social media account and that is tumblr, which appears to be much more topic related than the "look at me" versions of facebook and twitter.
NewlyRetired
Footballguy
you have done well, imo.
I fear my 19 year old will never enter normal adulthood and we are planning for her to likely be with us for ever. I don't see her holding down a 9 to 5 type job at all, which kills me as she has a 3.85 gpa average through her first three semesters at a good school like Trinity. But every day at school is like a prison sentence. :( makes me very sad.
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
file this under, duh
my daughter ,12, was the last one to get a phone and she has zero social media. hate that ####
my daughter ,12, was the last one to get a phone and she has zero social media. hate that ####
Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
ChiefD
Footballguy
My father-in-law told me 14 years ago when my wife was pregnant with our first child:
"You are their parent first. Not their friend first."
That saying is always in the back of my mind when dealing with the kids. My wife and I hear all the time from other parents:
"Wow, you guys are strict."
Yep. We are.
"You are their parent first. Not their friend first."
That saying is always in the back of my mind when dealing with the kids. My wife and I hear all the time from other parents:
"Wow, you guys are strict."
Yep. We are.
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
This One of my daughters friends will not put the phone down. MY kid tells us what the friend does on the phone. Talks to her ‘boyfriend ‘ in Idaho. Sends pics. Has a secret Instagram account to talk to him. So scary. We told the parents but their approach is different than ours.
irish eyes
Footballguy
I didnt see it in this thread, but I laugh when the parental excuse for kids having phones is "oh but they need in case of an emergency ". Get real, kids went hundreds of years without them.
Hot Diggity Dog
Footballguy
I understand what you're saying here, but I think giving them a taste of the world online is part of point of the video, or at least in spirit with the higher message.. The smart phone can't be uninvented and their generation are going to have certain expectations of behavior and social interactions, they can't be ignorant of that. I don't think one or two **** pics are going to send them into a spiral. I mean I saw my first porn at 12 and turned out pretty well.
parasaurolophus
Footballguy
Kids went hundreds of years without them isnt why it is laughable. You can get them a phone without data.
Hot Diggity Dog
Footballguy
It is nice having kids with phones. it just is. the key is intelligent supervision with forced moderation.
irish eyes
Footballguy
Their generation are going to have certain expectations! Really. Well maybe the parent should actually be setting the expectations. Like to effing bad, you won't be getting a phone or using social media.
Bull Dozier
Footballguy
How do you check their snapchat? Just randomly monitor incoming messages? History isn't saved to my knowledge.
parasaurolophus
Footballguy
Off topic, but my biggest pet peeve with my son having a phone(ex wife and I didn't see eye to eye here, she just went and bought him one), is how disorganized and terrible at planning I think it makes him.
When we made plans to do things we had to be precise or we could spend the whole night trying to figure crap out or wandering around looking for people. If we were going to try and go someplace we had never been to we had to look it up on a map and write down directions. We had to make sure we had exact times figured out for meeting people and we had to make sure we did some research if it was going to be a crowded or very large place that we were meeting.
Kids don't have to deal with that at all anymore. They just text each other en route, google directions, etc. They get the details bit by bit over time.
I told my son about a month ago he wasn't able to go out at night on the weekend if he didn't get all of the information for me in advance when he asked me. He has become frustrated with it. He showed me a text exchange with one of his friends last week just trying to peg down how they would be getting somewhere, what time, where to after, etc. The replies were always just I'll text this or I'll text that.
I think not being able to plan something as simple as going to a basketball game, then to grab some food, and go to somebody's house (to probably just sit around and look at each other's phones or stupid videos) is causing certain skills to not be developed that are needed in the work force.
When we made plans to do things we had to be precise or we could spend the whole night trying to figure crap out or wandering around looking for people. If we were going to try and go someplace we had never been to we had to look it up on a map and write down directions. We had to make sure we had exact times figured out for meeting people and we had to make sure we did some research if it was going to be a crowded or very large place that we were meeting.
Kids don't have to deal with that at all anymore. They just text each other en route, google directions, etc. They get the details bit by bit over time.
I told my son about a month ago he wasn't able to go out at night on the weekend if he didn't get all of the information for me in advance when he asked me. He has become frustrated with it. He showed me a text exchange with one of his friends last week just trying to peg down how they would be getting somewhere, what time, where to after, etc. The replies were always just I'll text this or I'll text that.
I think not being able to plan something as simple as going to a basketball game, then to grab some food, and go to somebody's house (to probably just sit around and look at each other's phones or stupid videos) is causing certain skills to not be developed that are needed in the work force.
modogg
Footballguy
same. thinking about 15 years ago, most of the stuff in this thread were not a concern. what the hell will we be dealing with in 14-15 years?honestly no better motivator to keep yourself in adequate shape.
NutterButter
Footballguy
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
I'm glad you saw a airbrushed bush in playboy when you were 12 and turned out fine. My daughter saw some kids real junk, got suspended and potentially could have be punished for having child pornography.
We have talks with our kids about sex, drugs, suicide, murder, death and the like. with cell phones your kids potentially have access to not only everything the internet has to offer, but contact with other kids who don't' have responsible parents that have those conversations. These kids are just a snapchat or text away from communicating and influencing other children.
If it were up to me the kids wouldn't have phones at all. The only thing they should be concerned with is getting a good education, playing sports/activities and having fun. I know everybody has one but great, I dont want my kids to be just like everyone else. Unfortunately my wife and I don't see eye to eye on this and thats an entirely different subject and one I work on daily. Luckily she finally agreed with me after this incident.
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STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
High MF'n five!
This is my wifes line of thinking. If theres an emergency while our kids are under the schools supervision and care in a secure building, our daughter can use one of the hundreds of other $1,000 phones that are in the hands of the rest of the kids.
Scoresman
Footballguy
Don't they make cell phones that can be heavily restricted? I don't have kids but if I did mine would have one as soon as they could work one but it would have to be limited in functionality to just calling family in emergencies. I couldn't imagine trying to monitor social media. It's a shame there has to be such a dark side to it because social media can allow for such great possibilities and opportunities for kids.
Long Ball Larry
Footballguy
I was not as good with the restrictions as I should have been. Since the beginning of the year, my daughter gets 15 minutes per day of social media during the week and an hour per day on the weekend. It's still probably not needed, but her mood has been markedly different since then.
This is also a really good link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CI6rX96oYnY (Joe Rogan and Jonathan Haidt)
This is also a really good link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CI6rX96oYnY (Joe Rogan and Jonathan Haidt)
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Hot Diggity Dog
Footballguy
Well my friend's dad did have a lot of playboys but his subspriction to whatever the porn channel was in early days of cable was more informative.
I'm not trying to play down what happened to your daughter or what your daughter did. I'm more on your side than you seem to think.
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
Yeah I re-read it and didnt mean to fire away at you.
My intended target is the phone and their invasive-ness (if thats a word) into Everyone's daily lives.
ETA - Also, I watched porn at a very early age and my wife would probably tell you that might not have been such a great thing. Hang on, Ill go untie her from the basement and ask her what I think she thinks.
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Leroy Hoard
Footballguy
Poor people across the USA have what I call dumb phones. You can do one to one texts and make calls but no internet hookups to facebook or any of that crap. There is their emergency line.
Kanil
Footballguy
When my grandma started to get dementia (before she was in a home) my mom gave her a phone that had three buttons. Looked like a fisher price toy. One button was power, one button was call a preprogrammed number, and one button was hang up. That was it. We programmed my mom's number in and anytime grandma needed something she just had to press that one button. Seems like a perfect solution for a kid.
NutterButter
Footballguy
I don't know what's worse for a teenager. Having access to social media or being the kid with the phone that has 3 big buttons.
comfortably numb
Footballguy
Lol
Any kid with a phone like that would be in therapy by 16 for all the ridicule they would have gone through
Galileo
Footballguy
Galileo
Footballguy
Devil's advocate... The guy in the video made 2 main points. Social media is bad/dangerous for kids and we are making kids too fragile by overprotecting them. Is stripping away and sheltering them from social media a form of being overprotective? This genie is out of the bottle. It is not like social media is ever going away. Don't they need to learn to deal with it, manage it, cope with it, learn to use its positive attributes?
at all those who are adamantly against allowing kids Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, etc... but then pay no mind whatsoever to their basic text capabilities.
at all those who are adamantly against allowing kids Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, etc... but then pay no mind whatsoever to their basic text capabilities. 
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
One of the most shocking/depressing things I heard was a group of young high school girls discussing Instagram a few years ago. They all knew how many followers they had, what was their most liked picture, how many likes it had, who else had the most followers and/or most liked pictures, etc.
It was absolutely a popularity currency and creates a very real hierarchy. They all knew exactly where they stood and wore it as their value.
They sat there talking about exactly what gets the most likes. What poses, what outfits, what is in the picture with them, what time of day, etc. It's totally crazy.
It was absolutely a popularity currency and creates a very real hierarchy. They all knew exactly where they stood and wore it as their value.
They sat there talking about exactly what gets the most likes. What poses, what outfits, what is in the picture with them, what time of day, etc. It's totally crazy.
Zow
Footballguy
Hot Diggity Dog
Footballguy
no problem I get what you are saying.Yeah I re-read it and didnt mean to fire away at you.
My intended target is the phone and their invasive-ness (if thats a word) into Everyone's daily lives.
ETA - Also, I watched porn at a very early age and my wife would probably tell you that might not have been such a great thing. Hang on, Ill go untie her from the basement and ask her what I think she thinks.
Hot Diggity Dog
Footballguy
this first paragraph is in line with the point I was trying to make. again supervision and enforced moderation. if a few **** pics slip through well they probably see it anyway on a friends phone, and it won't kill them.Devil's advocate... The guy in the video made 2 main points. Social media is bad/dangerous for kids and we are making kids too fragile by overprotecting them. Is stripping away and sheltering them from social media a form of being overprotective? This genie is out of the bottle. It is not like social media is ever going away. Don't they need to learn to deal with it, manage it, cope with it, learn to use its positive attributes?
Hot Diggity Dog
Footballguy
Basically yes. We have access to all email accounts, devices etc. They don't have Facebook accounts or Twitter. We've confiscated phones as punishment and taken the chance to monitor incoming messages before friends could be warned. when one of my daughters was on a group chat from school and the boys on there started veering into inappropriate language I chatted back something like hey guys this the father here, let's be gentlemen and not cuss in front of the ladies. My biggest concern is on line predators who are older and the total immersion that can happen.
I have a 16 year old daughter that more than likely has seen the infamous **** pic. I don't think I could completely stop this from happening without taking the phone away completely. But it's like this I trust her with a car she could kill herself or others with, she baby sits young children, and she is making adult choices for her future. Her seeing some high schoolers penis once in awhile isn't going to run her off the rails.
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GroveDiesel
Footballguy
CletiusMaximus
Footballguy
I hate reading my sons texts. Teenagers are the most awkward, cringy thing imaginable. My wife and I constantly mock him behind his back. He’s a great kid irl but my god, what a hopeless basket case when he’s texting with a girl ...
