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Fed Up With Hosting A Christmas Gathering (1 Viewer)

Anarchy99

Footballguy
We have reached the tolerance limit for trying to host a Christmas get together. To summarize, we have a bunch of kids, all with significant others. To complicate matters, the kids have stepparents, their significant others also have parents that have remarried, and we are never considered a priority to merit a Top 1 or Top 2 timeslot (Xmas Eve or Xmas Day). The past few years, we tried to accommodate people and moved our get together time (was always Xmas Eve) to other days / times, but there was just as much grief, stress, and agitation. This year, we are going back to 12/24 and almost everyone has opted out. How do people schedule things, get people to actually attend, and not want to poke anyone's eyes out? Is there some secret elixir to drink to make stress free holidays a reality?
 
I know it is difficult, but your attendees are also experiencing the stress and agitation of trying to attend umpteen different holiday celebrations, with the various hosts making them feel guilty/obligated. Maybe consider letting them off the hook and giving them one less event to have to coordinate. Instead, consider hosting a party for 2025 the weekend of Jan 3-4. Hopefully you can get most everyone there.
 
Anytime there are a lot of people involved, my philosophy would generally be that you schedule and whoever shows up shows up. You could improve the odds by polling people about potential dates ahead of time, and then just choose the one that the most people indicate works for them.

That said, I understand that in that scenario, it may matter more to you than to your kids and their SOs that people attend. Still not sure there's much more you can do.

Also, if it seems like they always have an excuse not to attend, regardless of when you schedule...then it may indicate that they find it stressful attending rather than any issue with the actual scheduling. This could be something to do with you, or it could be something to do with the others who are attending. Do they tend to be more receptive to individual get togethers?
 
I know it is difficult, but your attendees are also experiencing the stress and agitation of trying to attend umpteen different holiday celebrations, with the various hosts making them feel guilty/obligated. Maybe consider letting them off the hook and giving them one less event to have to coordinate. Instead, consider hosting a party for 2025 the weekend of Jan 3-4. Hopefully you can get most everyone there.
This is a great idea, but we have people coming in from lots of different places visiting people in multiple states.
You could improve the odds by polling people about potential dates ahead of time, and then just choose the one that the most people indicate works for them.
There only is need for polling in trying to coordinate something as an alternative the week before or the week after (which gets bogged down by work, travel arrangements, people having other plans or holiday parties, etc.). The biggest issue is that Xmas Eve is spent with their SO's family and Xmas day is with their other parent's family (ie, our exes) every year and they won't budge. I get that people have to be flexible, but all the other get togethers are locked in and etched in stone. The way we did it when the kids were younger is we alternated years . . . but that fell off once they were out of the house.
 
Sounds hard. We do the following:

1. Pre-kids, we went to her family one year, mine the next. That's the deal - you guys tell us where you want us to be, we're there.
2. Post-kids, we host, continuing to alternate. So now you can come to our house or you can say you're not coming and the other side of the family gets two in a row and we'll try you again next year.

I really can't fathom the Vince Vaughn style Four Christmases big family, try to hit everyone every year thing. Like good lord @Anarchy99 I agree that sounds horrible.

In your shoes? Get the patriarch/matriarchs together, see if it's awful for them too, and come up with a plan.
 
Everyone in my wife and I's family is at least a 4 hour drive from most everyone else(and in most cases 10+ hours).

We don't have this issue.

Solution: Move away from everyone.
That is what we did, so This Week is our Christmas week. Back "Home" this week and visiting a different relative each day depending on their schedules then go back to our new home three states away on Friday before the worst of the Christmas travel hits.
 
How do people schedule things, get people to actually attend, and not want to poke anyone's eyes out?

At a point, you can only accept that not everyone's going to make it to see you on or near a given holiday. Only you can decide how much of an affront that is at an individual level, and how much you should hold on to that affront the rest of the year.

Aside from that, one thing that's common in both mine and my wife's family is kind of an expanded, flexible holiday schedule (bringing in Thanksgiving and the few days afterward along with Yuletide/New Years). Loosely, it's gone like this over the years -- where my wife & kids spend (or have spent) our time:

Thanksgiving - Wife's parents early afternoon, my parents late afternoon/evening "for dessert" (or, yes, second Thanksgiving dinner!).
Day after Thanksgiving - Wife's biological paternal grandmother, sometimes with one or two of her biological uncles.
Saturday/Sunday after Thanksgiving - Get-togethers with family friends, often friends from out of the area visiting their family and leaving Sunday. Not a regular thing, but we do this often enough to deserve a mention.
Some mid-December Saturday - Big annual event at my wife's step-paternal grandfathers, out-of-town uncles/aunts/cousins drive/fly in for this. Stopped about 15 years ago.
Some weekend day(s) in mid-December - various "Friendmas" events with family friends and their kids. Less of a thing in recent years as our kids have grown.
Christmas Eve - Not a family day for most locally, but this was for years reserved for my wife's life-long best friend's parents' Christmas party. Life-long best friend family party stopped about 5 years ago, replaced with an occasional Friendmas event. During the height of COVID, my parents hosted present exchange on Christmas Eve.
Christmas Day - Generally similar to Thanksgiving, stopping at both mine and my wife's families. For several years, my wife's maternal aunt was on the outs with some other family, so we'd make her our very last stop late Christmas evening. Yes, it was exhausting to make three stops on Christmas Day with kids.
Day after Christmas - Similar to day after Thanksgiving, with wife's biological paternal grandmother and some family from that side.
Days leading up to New Years - Either Friendmas events or getting together with any family we hadn't seen for Christmas yet. Swing days.
New Years Eve - For years, this was with friends. Then after we had kids, for a few years we visited with my parents & siblings so it was kind of a mini-Christmas. Last several years, we stay in New Years Eve night.
New Years Day - My parents hosted a traditional family meal on NYD for years, like a low-key Thanksgiving. This ended about five years ago.
 
We attend 4 Thanksgiving dinners and up to 8 Christmases every year.

Wouldn’t change it for the world.
Also after this, we are on a hometown travel moratorium for 2 months into the new year. I do love seeing my family, but I won’t lie that it doesn’t tire us out.
 
Sounds hard. We do the following:

1. Pre-kids, we went to her family one year, mine the next. That's the deal - you guys tell us where you want us to be, we're there.
2. Post-kids, we host, continuing to alternate. So now you can come to our house or you can say you're not coming and the other side of the family gets two in a row and we'll try you again next year.

I really can't fathom the Vince Vaughn style Four Christmases big family, try to hit everyone every year thing. Like good lord @Anarchy99 I agree that sounds horrible.

In your shoes? Get the patriarch/matriarchs together, see if it's awful for them too, and come up with a plan.
Yeah, most year's there isn't a good solution. Distance is no one's friend. My ex-wife lives 5,000 miles away. My current wife's ex owns properties in multiple states, hosts sometimes, and sometimes his family meets somewhere (my step kids are in New Zealand this year). My kids have SO's with parents 1,000 miles away. My wife's parents live 1,000 miles away. This year in particular, it's not a case of doing something a day or two later. That's the bigger issue, people are opting out months in advance now, and there isn't a work around (short of a Xmas in July kind of a thing).
 
The way we did it when the kids were younger is we alternated years . . . but that fell off once they were out of the house.

zoobird:
I understand that in that scenario, it may matter more to you than to your kids and their SOs that people attend.

Our kids are 21 and 18, and this is already a thing. They want to do things with their SO's families. I feel like we have to "let them" (not that we can really stop them). Gripping too tightly might make them really want to stay away. It's bittersweet for sure.
 
there isn't a work around (short of a Xmas in July kind of a thing).

Is this a problem? I mean the point is to get together and if this makes it easier and less stressful it seems like it might be a good idea.
It might work for some of the people involved, but it wouldn't work for everyone unless we made it more of a family vacation. We sort of did that last year by having a family reunion at Disney, but man was that expensive.
 
My wife is having a hard time with this. We used to be the house on Christmas Eve. Now after her mom passed away and older sister. 2 sisters moved to Florida.

All the nieces and nephews work on Christmas eve or just "can't make it"

This year we threw a party on december 8th.

I know it bums her out that its not "like it used to be" and we don't have any grandkids (might never have any) and that gets to her also.
 
why do the kids prioritize your ex spouses over you it would seem to me that it would be nice if they could alternate years i mean that would just be the caring thing to do in any event i am sorry that you are in this position i am sure it is not fun and i empathize with you take that to the bank bromigo
 
Distance is no one's friend.
Reading more into this thread ... this looks like about 90% of the issue. It looks that way from afar, anyway.

You might not have a way of knowing for sure, but: If everyone involved lived within a 20-mile radius, would it be totally different? Or would there still be "we can't make it" and "we're going elsewhere then"?
 
Sounds hard. We do the following:

1. Pre-kids, we went to her family one year, mine the next. That's the deal - you guys tell us where you want us to be, we're there.
2. Post-kids, we host, continuing to alternate. So now you can come to our house or you can say you're not coming and the other side of the family gets two in a row and we'll try you again next year.

I really can't fathom the Vince Vaughn style Four Christmases big family, try to hit everyone every year thing. Like good lord @Anarchy99 I agree that sounds horrible.

In your shoes? Get the patriarch/matriarchs together, see if it's awful for them too, and come up with a plan.
Yeah, most year's there isn't a good solution. Distance is no one's friend. My ex-wife lives 5,000 miles away. My current wife's ex owns properties in multiple states, hosts sometimes, and sometimes his family meets somewhere (my step kids are in New Zealand this year). My kids have SO's with parents 1,000 miles away. My wife's parents live 1,000 miles away. This year in particular, it's not a case of doing something a day or two later. That's the bigger issue, people are opting out months in advance now, and there isn't a work around (short of a Xmas in July kind of a thing).
Yeah that's kind of my point. Just alternate years.
 
Why do the kids prioritize your ex spouses over you.
My wife's ex-husband has taken to combining a vacation and the holidays, usually to exotic locations, and pays for his kids to go . . . first class all the way. Trips over the holidays have included Hawaii, skiing in Colorado and Europe, and scuba diving in the Caribbean. The kids don't live locally, so there isn't an easy workaround. Who would turn down free trips like that? Part of the issue is the ex- isn't around our way that much these days.

Reading more into this thread ... this looks like about 90% of the issue.
Distance is a problem for some folks, but half the people live nearby. My kids live locally and have been going to my ex-wife's grandparents for Xmas Day since they were born. They aren't breaking that tradition. That's how we ended up with Xmas Eve, but that slot is now taken up by SO's families.

We have tried doing Xmas Eve for whomever has been available and Xmas morning extra early as well to try to get people together, but attendance has dwindled. There are other friends and family in the mix, and like everyone else, there's only so many people you can see in peak visiting times. We've tries to make things more casual and told people to drop in if they can . . . but hardly anyone actually does that.
Yeah that's kind of my point. Just alternate years.
We'd love to alternate years, but apparently no one wants that but us (or is willing to face the wrath of others in changing the way things have worked).
 
My kids live locally and have been going to my ex-wife's grandparents for Xmas Day since they were born. They aren't breaking that tradition
could you guys join in with this since it has been going on since they were born? Not everyone is cordial enough to be able to be in the same house but if you are this would be a good way to go. You get to see them and come and go as you please
 
My wife's ex-husband has taken to combining a vacation and the holidays, usually to exotic locations, and pays for his kids to go . . . first class all the way. Trips over the holidays have included Hawaii, skiing in Colorado and Europe, and scuba diving in the Caribbean. The kids don't live locally, so there isn't an easy workaround. Who would turn down free trips like that?
Not that complaining will do any good, but: Those kinds of trips could be taken other times of the year. From afar ... it looks like your wife's ex-husband likes "controlling the holidays" and has the straight cash to enforce his will. Dude might not even really be a Richard ... just might be totally used to getting his way by doing "nice things for people". I could be miles off, but that's the impression I'm getting.
 
My kids live locally and have been going to my ex-wife's grandparents for Xmas Day since they were born. They aren't breaking that tradition
could you guys join in with this since it has been going on since they were born? Not everyone is cordial enough to be able to be in the same house but if you are this would be a good way to go. You get to see them and come and go as you please
The short answer is no. The longer answer is there is a lot of ill will and animosity between the key players of the families, so absolutely no (spent 15 years going back and forth to court with these people).
 
do you think they do the destination christmases just to take that kids away from you thats pretty horrible if so man im sorry take that to the bank brohan
 
Rather than have a set thing at a set time, my parents would just have an "open house" for Christmas day and people come and go as they please. They would do a big vat of chili for grazing food and people would bring snacks or whatever (if they wanted) and it was real casual. Worked quite well.

Now THIS right here is my idea of perfection. Kudos to Ma and Pa Gally for nailing it.
 
Not that complaining will do any good, but: Those kinds of trips could be taken other times of the year. From afar ... it looks like your wife's ex-husband likes "controlling the holidays" and has the straight cash to enforce his will. Dude might not even really be a Richard ... just might be totally used to getting his way by doing "nice things for people". I could be miles off, but that's the impression I'm getting.
He probably breaks down like this: 1/3 clueless (ie, doesn't stop to think how his actions impact other people), 1/3 controlling (ie, makes decisions that he knows will infuriate people), and 1/3 decent (ie, spends the money to have a nice outing as "the nice guy" picking up the tab). He didn't get much holiday time with his kids when they were young, so he doesn't feel badly about trying to see them way more as adults. Will see how that flies when there are grandchildren (none yet).
 
Christmas used to be easy................when I was a kid.

Now I get to deal with an ex-wife (whose family is 1000 miles away), 1 kid that married into a family where the FIL controls everything and will get mad for months and take it out on you for longer) a DIL who is passively aggressive regarding everything, and my youngest who does not give a darn.

I just go w/ the flow, and know that 75% of the time it will be me and the 4 dogs, which I'm mostly ok with.
 
Rather than have a set thing at a set time, my parents would just have an "open house" for Christmas day and people come and go as they please. They would do a big vat of chili for grazing food and people would bring snacks or whatever (if they wanted) and it was real casual. Worked quite well.

Now THIS right here is my idea of perfection. Kudos to Ma and Pa Gally for nailing it.
Yep, plus it was for more than just family. We had people coming in and out all day long with Christmas music playing and everyone having a great time. Some would stay for hours and some for 15 minutes. No pressure for anyone or anything.
 
my youngest who does not give a darn.

I just go w/ the flow, and know that 75% of the time it will be me and the 4 dogs, which I'm mostly ok with.
Sounds like you and the youngest should just hang out and let people come and go as they please while you drink Christmas cocktails, listen to music, and watch football. Sounds perfect to me.
 
We have reached the tolerance limit for trying to host a Christmas get together. To summarize, we have a bunch of kids, all with significant others. To complicate matters, the kids have stepparents, their significant others also have parents that have remarried, and we are never considered a priority to merit a Top 1 or Top 2 timeslot (Xmas Eve or Xmas Day). The past few years, we tried to accommodate people and moved our get together time (was always Xmas Eve) to other days / times, but there was just as much grief, stress, and agitation. This year, we are going back to 12/24 and almost everyone has opted out. How do people schedule things, get people to actually attend, and not want to poke anyone's eyes out? Is there some secret elixir to drink to make stress free holidays a reality?
How about a Christmas gathering the weekend AFTER 1/1? I've seen that work better and technically it's still Christmastime so you can even get away with leaving the decorations up for it.
 
I know it is difficult, but your attendees are also experiencing the stress and agitation of trying to attend umpteen different holiday celebrations, with the various hosts making them feel guilty/obligated. Maybe consider letting them off the hook and giving them one less event to have to coordinate. Instead, consider hosting a party for 2025 the weekend of Jan 3-4. Hopefully you can get most everyone there.
This is a great idea, but we have people coming in from lots of different places visiting people in multiple states.
You could improve the odds by polling people about potential dates ahead of time, and then just choose the one that the most people indicate works for them.
There only is need for polling in trying to coordinate something as an alternative the week before or the week after (which gets bogged down by work, travel arrangements, people having other plans or holiday parties, etc.). The biggest issue is that Xmas Eve is spent with their SO's family and Xmas day is with their other parent's family (ie, our exes) every year and they won't budge. I get that people have to be flexible, but all the other get togethers are locked in and etched in stone. The way we did it when the kids were younger is we alternated years . . . but that fell off once they were out of the house.

Maybe you and the Mrs. and anybody else connected to you should go a little vacation and enjoy your time not stressing about anybody else. Dine out, pamper yourselves and just send the message that you're done being 3rd or 4th fiddle.
 
I know it is difficult, but your attendees are also experiencing the stress and agitation of trying to attend umpteen different holiday celebrations, with the various hosts making them feel guilty/obligated. Maybe consider letting them off the hook and giving them one less event to have to coordinate. Instead, consider hosting a party for 2025 the weekend of Jan 3-4. Hopefully you can get most everyone there.
This is a great idea, but we have people coming in from lots of different places visiting people in multiple states.
You could improve the odds by polling people about potential dates ahead of time, and then just choose the one that the most people indicate works for them.
There only is need for polling in trying to coordinate something as an alternative the week before or the week after (which gets bogged down by work, travel arrangements, people having other plans or holiday parties, etc.). The biggest issue is that Xmas Eve is spent with their SO's family and Xmas day is with their other parent's family (ie, our exes) every year and they won't budge. I get that people have to be flexible, but all the other get togethers are locked in and etched in stone. The way we did it when the kids were younger is we alternated years . . . but that fell off once they were out of the house.

Maybe you and the Mrs. and anybody else connected to you should go a little vacation and enjoy your time not stressing about anybody else. Dine out, pamper yourselves and just send the message that you're done being 3rd or 4th fiddle.
Easier said than done but it's probably the right answer.
 
I know it is difficult, but your attendees are also experiencing the stress and agitation of trying to attend umpteen different holiday celebrations, with the various hosts making them feel guilty/obligated. Maybe consider letting them off the hook and giving them one less event to have to coordinate. Instead, consider hosting a party for 2025 the weekend of Jan 3-4. Hopefully you can get most everyone there.
Or, what he said. ⬆️
 
Yeah, I can't imagine having to deal with all that.

I'm single with no kids, but my parents are divorced. Generally (like for the past 15 years) we'd go to my dad's on Christmas Eve and my mom's on Christmas Day...which worked. But now my younger brother has a serious girlfriend. Her family is REALLY into big gatherings so my brother is going to go there at some point on Christmas day. The issue is that my mom lives over an hour and a half away (and has dogs she can't leave alone all day....so having her come up here isn't practical) and its a pain to get down to her. (And then to go BACK up north to the girlfriend)

It would make much more sense to reverse things (go to my mom's on Eve and my dad's on Day so my brother could easily pop over to the girlfriend's afterwards....same town) but my mom doesn't want that at all. We always go to my dad's for Thanksgiving (since my mom doesn't want to make the meal) and this is her trade off (that we go to her place on Xmas day). Also my dad is re-married and my mom is not....so we try to accommodate all her wishes on this sort of stuff.

At this point, just hoping my brother marries his GF and has kids in the next couple of years so they can kinda become the hub (since traveling with young kids is a pain)
 
Not that complaining will do any good, but: Those kinds of trips could be taken other times of the year. From afar ... it looks like your wife's ex-husband likes "controlling the holidays" and has the straight cash to enforce his will. Dude might not even really be a Richard ... just might be totally used to getting his way by doing "nice things for people". I could be miles off, but that's the impression I'm getting.
He probably breaks down like this: 1/3 clueless (ie, doesn't stop to think how his actions impact other people), 1/3 controlling (ie, makes decisions that he knows will infuriate people), and 1/3 decent (ie, spends the money to have a nice outing as "the nice guy" picking up the tab). He didn't get much holiday time with his kids when they were young, so he doesn't feel badly about trying to see them way more as adults. Will see how that flies when there are grandchildren (none yet).

What's this guy do for work or how did he obtain this sort of wealth?

Asking for a friend......a friend who might need a career change. :oldunsure:
 
I know it is difficult, but your attendees are also experiencing the stress and agitation of trying to attend umpteen different holiday celebrations, with the various hosts making them feel guilty/obligated. Maybe consider letting them off the hook and giving them one less event to have to coordinate. Instead, consider hosting a party for 2025 the weekend of Jan 3-4. Hopefully you can get most everyone there.
This is a great idea, but we have people coming in from lots of different places visiting people in multiple states.
You could improve the odds by polling people about potential dates ahead of time, and then just choose the one that the most people indicate works for them.
There only is need for polling in trying to coordinate something as an alternative the week before or the week after (which gets bogged down by work, travel arrangements, people having other plans or holiday parties, etc.). The biggest issue is that Xmas Eve is spent with their SO's family and Xmas day is with their other parent's family (ie, our exes) every year and they won't budge. I get that people have to be flexible, but all the other get togethers are locked in and etched in stone. The way we did it when the kids were younger is we alternated years . . . but that fell off once they were out of the house.

Maybe you and the Mrs. and anybody else connected to you should go a little vacation and enjoy your time not stressing about anybody else. Dine out, pamper yourselves and just send the message that you're done being 3rd or 4th fiddle.
Easier said than done but it's probably the right answer.
The more I read, the sadder I get for Anarchy. I can't imagine the feeling of your children choosing others over you for the holidays. I had a little experience with this 20 years ago when my folks came into town from 2,000 miles away over Thanksgiving. They assumed we'd have Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's house, but my ex-wife and sister hated each other and my ex-wife planned for us to go to her grandparents. When I explained this to my mother she broke down. It was gut wrenching but I felt helpless. My ex was stubborn and uncaring about it and wanted to stick it to my family and let me tell you, being in the middle of all this made me have some really dark thoughts and that's all I'm going to say about that. Never would wish it on anybody.

Ummm, so yeah.....go out of town and be happy!
 
Part of the issue is Christmas is essentially the Super Bowl for both my wives, ever since they were little. Like they live for it. Their families start searching for and buying gifts for the following year starting on 12/26. They have every decoration and family heirloom since their families moved here seemingly millenniums ago. No one is budging on this. They're dug in like Alabama ticks.
 
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I know it is difficult, but your attendees are also experiencing the stress and agitation of trying to attend umpteen different holiday celebrations, with the various hosts making them feel guilty/obligated. Maybe consider letting them off the hook and giving them one less event to have to coordinate. Instead, consider hosting a party for 2025 the weekend of Jan 3-4. Hopefully you can get most everyone there.
This is a great idea, but we have people coming in from lots of different places visiting people in multiple states.
You could improve the odds by polling people about potential dates ahead of time, and then just choose the one that the most people indicate works for them.
There only is need for polling in trying to coordinate something as an alternative the week before or the week after (which gets bogged down by work, travel arrangements, people having other plans or holiday parties, etc.). The biggest issue is that Xmas Eve is spent with their SO's family and Xmas day is with their other parent's family (ie, our exes) every year and they won't budge. I get that people have to be flexible, but all the other get togethers are locked in and etched in stone. The way we did it when the kids were younger is we alternated years . . . but that fell off once they were out of the house.

Maybe you and the Mrs. and anybody else connected to you should go a little vacation and enjoy your time not stressing about anybody else. Dine out, pamper yourselves and just send the message that you're done being 3rd or 4th fiddle.

My wife and I did similar. Too many places to go, too many people who have expectations about the pecking order/etc. About ten years ago, we decided it was time for us to enjoy the holidays instead of doing a "my family / your family" tour.

We bascially said "we're going to start our own traditions". For us that meant springing for our favorite expensive wine / hot tub xmas eve, and then exchanging gifts and cooking a nice meal together xmas day. Yes, we're alone (no kids), and it's glorious. My family all got on board - my brother hosts a stress-free "if you can make it" post-holiday get-together mid-to-late January.

And please, those of you with adult kids - do not put any pressure on them. If it means they don't get to your house, then that's what it means. Don't be insulted - let them enjoy their holidays instead of figuring out the logistics of a rushed, box-checking appearance.
 
Part of the issue is Christmas is essentially the Super Bowl for both my wives, ever since they were little. Like they live for it. Their families start searching for and buying gifts for the following year starting on 12/26. They have every decoration and family heirloom since their families moved here seemingly millenniums ago. No one is budging on this. They're dug in like Alabama ticks.

I get it, man. You gotta play loyal soldier. That's a tough role. Sorry you're going through this.
 
We are getting a little taste this year of this. We moved this year so we aren't traveling for Christmas. Oldest son met a girl here in town so he is going to hang with her family on Christmas Eve. We had no real plans so it's no big deal but I can't help but feel a little sad about it.

I was in my big shop on Saturday night unpacking and putting stuff away. I'm a bit of a pack rat when it comes to the kids trophies, hobbies, things they have made or given me over time.....so I have a section in my shop for each of them where I display their knick-knacks and such.

I'm out there and all of a sudden I'm just crying. I'm thinking to myself....they are almost out of here and that "kid" phase is over now. And man it really hit me.

I just feel sad for all of you guys that have split events all the time and have to deal with unreasonable people. I grew up in a divorced family and it was hard to be in that environment all the time. The only way I know how to handle it now is you just gotta roll with things and take the high road always.
 
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