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Funny things your kid has said (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Sack-Religious.
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lumpy19
Footballguy
7 yo daughter explaining to me the life of scorpions(they had a zoo person bring various animals/creatures into her class)
First the mommy and daddy scorpion meet and then they date for a little while. After a while they get married and have a nice wedding. Then they have kids. Then after the kids the mommy eats the Daddy.
First the mommy and daddy scorpion meet and then they date for a little while. After a while they get married and have a nice wedding. Then they have kids. Then after the kids the mommy eats the Daddy.
Fat Nick
Footballguy
My 3.5 y/o is quickly on his way to manhood in the bathroom. His dumps peel paint and make my eyes water, and I'm not sure how he actually gets them out given they're the size of his forearm. Poor little guy makes it an event before he goes. He has to have his step stool, and will only go before the shower when he's completely naked. He goes into the bathroom, requests I close the door, and turn the fan on. I hear grunts and moans and all sorts of noises. If I check on him, he looks at me with a smile and says, "Daddy close the door, I'm working." All our fans are on timer switches, so if they cut off, he yells at the top of his lungs, "Somebody turn the air back on! I can't breathe it's too stinky!"
If nothing else, it's helping my wife understand that guys just take longer to do their business than girls as she previously thought it was JUST me.
If nothing else, it's helping my wife understand that guys just take longer to do their business than girls as she previously thought it was JUST me.
Kanil
Footballguy
mr. furley
Footballguy
on the way home from eating out the other night
my 7 year old daughtetr... who is a cut up and unpredictable.
her: dad, my tummy is bubbling
me: uh oh. do you feel like you might throw up?
her: no... it's just bubbly
me: like gas? like you have to go to the bathroom?
her:
I CAN'T STOP FARTING! I NEED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR! TO THE DOCTOR! TO GET A SHOT! I NEED A FART SHOT!! A FAAAAAART SHOT!!!
my 7 year old daughtetr... who is a cut up and unpredictable.
her: dad, my tummy is bubbling
me: uh oh. do you feel like you might throw up?
her: no... it's just bubbly
me: like gas? like you have to go to the bathroom?
her:
I CAN'T STOP FARTING! I NEED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR! TO THE DOCTOR! TO GET A SHOT! I NEED A FART SHOT!! A FAAAAAART SHOT!!!
bucksoh
Footballguy
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McJose
Footballguy
Adorableon the way home from eating out the other night
my 7 year old daughtetr... who is a cut up and unpredictable.
her: dad, my tummy is bubbling
me: uh oh. do you feel like you might throw up?
her: no... it's just bubbly
me: like gas? like you have to go to the bathroom?
her:
McJose
Footballguy
seahawk 17
Footballguy
My 6yr old son had a bloody nose yesterday. I threw his kleenex in the toilet to flush. He looked at me and wanted to know why I was wasting his blood, and didn't donate it to someone in need. We then had a long discussion about proper donation techniques.
Johnny Rock
Footballguy
This brought a tear to me eye.
I’ll eternally regret never having a son spring from my loins that can clear a room like me. If I could go back and do it all over again I would just want the oppurtunity to bask in his greatness and soak in the satisfaction on his face.
Truly bueautiful.
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bucksoh
Footballguy
joey
Footballguy
Ah. Boys and poop! It's a major topic of conversation with 2 boys in our house.
When my oldest was between 2 and 3, after one of the first times he pooped, wiped and flushed all on his own, he yelled, "I shut the ploops!" (I flushed the poop). Since then, 10 years later, "shut the ploops" is a common phrase in my household
Tremendous structure for a 6 year old. That isn’t just paint slapped randomly on paper like most children that age, it’s planned and cohesive.
If you keep that kid well stocked in art supplies I think there is a lot of potential there.
El Floppo
Footballguy
I was once a 6 year old arist.
Its also quite easy to see talent beyond ones years that could lead to further development.
You know what I find interesting?
if not I’ll still tell you.
I like conversing with a guy that loves his children. I like giving an honest and positive opinion.
When I do there are people like you writing comments like that. Seriously....what is wrong with you?
I’m a huge #####. As you can tell there are many that dislike me like @El Floppo. I don’t like myself most of the time. It gives me great regret that there are people out there like that trying to interject themselves on a conversation with no other objective than to ruin it.
Im not well liked around here. I’ve done some art from time to time that everyone enjoyed.
I have enjoyed speaking to an obviously loving father that cares about their children’s talent. Im very sorry for the people that feel a need to make sarcastic comments and/ or questions far outside of context.
It gives me a lot of pleasure to see the artwork of a young child with talent. I think it’s obvious with the attention given to shapes and structure that it’s there in your daughter.
I apologize for @El Floppo
El Floppo
Footballguy
Jfc.
In advance- I won't respond to your inevitable need to have the last word here because this was a great thread filled with hilarious stories by adoring parents and not sullied with any of the endless bickering that tends to ruin this forum- sorry, but that kind of thing follows you around.. just going to make this post and leave it at that.
Ive got a 6yo. This is a thread in which I post, share, support and laugh at other stories regularly.
When I see hyperbole like "That isn’t just paint slapped randomly on paper like most children that age,", from somebody who does some art, but I don't think/know is terribly up to date or aware of young kids and their abilities, I wonder about it. So I ask a question. It was as loaded with subtext as that... which is to say- not.
If you look at all the posts I've made in here and especially in your own thread or anywhere else for that matter, you'll see your responses are completely unwarranted and completely off base. And because this now feels like I'm talking to my HS ex, I'll say that I always said in your own thread that I like you. I don't hate you.
I know you're going to have a page more worth of posts to make in response, so I beg you- pm me. We can continue finish this and leave this thread as a place to read funny #### kids say and not random thoughts of RnR- iirc that place already exists.
In advance- I won't respond to your inevitable need to have the last word here because this was a great thread filled with hilarious stories by adoring parents and not sullied with any of the endless bickering that tends to ruin this forum- sorry, but that kind of thing follows you around.. just going to make this post and leave it at that.
Ive got a 6yo. This is a thread in which I post, share, support and laugh at other stories regularly.
When I see hyperbole like "That isn’t just paint slapped randomly on paper like most children that age,", from somebody who does some art, but I don't think/know is terribly up to date or aware of young kids and their abilities, I wonder about it. So I ask a question. It was as loaded with subtext as that... which is to say- not.
If you look at all the posts I've made in here and especially in your own thread or anywhere else for that matter, you'll see your responses are completely unwarranted and completely off base. And because this now feels like I'm talking to my HS ex, I'll say that I always said in your own thread that I like you. I don't hate you.
I know you're going to have a page more worth of posts to make in response, so I beg you- pm me. We can continue finish this and leave this thread as a place to read funny #### kids say and not random thoughts of RnR- iirc that place already exists.
kentric
Footballguy
Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
Fat Nick
Footballguy
He came home from daycare yesterday smelling like potpourri. I asked him if somebody sprayed him with perfume. He looked at me confused and said, "No?" So I let it slide, until I got another whiff of him. I asked him again why he smelled like flowers. He said, "Oh! I used the poop spray." Confused, I asked for more info. He proceeded to tell me that "Mrs. Allison told me I was stinky when I was going poop, so I sprayed the poop spray on me to make me smell better."
Apparently, they have some air freshener in the bathroom, but he thought you sprayed it ON you, rather than in the air.
El Floppo
Footballguy
Tecumseh
Footballguy
Ned
Footballguy
Chaos Commish
Footballguy
I spent the day pulling several dozen nails from the fascia of my house to prep for paint. A little girl rides by on her bike, says hello and asks:
"What are you doing?"
"I'm pulling all the nails from my house so I can paint it."
"Oh... but won't it fall down?"
"What are you doing?"
"I'm pulling all the nails from my house so I can paint it."
"Oh... but won't it fall down?"
dickey moe
Fingerpicker
The other morning I caught my son drinking pickle juice straight out of the jar:
Me: "Dude, that's gross."
Him: "I Iike it. You don't. Who cares?"
A philosophy to live by.
Me: "Dude, that's gross."
Him: "I Iike it. You don't. Who cares?"
A philosophy to live by.
(HULK)
(Smash)
My kids love it too. If they're ever dehydrated, I guess it's a good way to rehydrate.
Clown Car
Footballguy
My dad has leukemia and he also has a lot of money, houses, cars, apartment complexes. I'm taking 3,7,&9 to visit him next week. I told their dance teacher 7&9 won't be in class next week because we are going to visit my dad who has leukemia. My mommy friends all said "aww", "oh dear", "I'm sorry".
#7(8yo) says "if he dies who will get all his money?"
Then they all bust out laughing with that shock/choke laugh.
#7(8yo) says "if he dies who will get all his money?"
Then they all bust out laughing with that shock/choke laugh.
msudaisy26
Footballguy
ProstheticRGK
Footballguy
I’m no art critic, but that’s way better than I could do.
Also, enjoy the cinnamon ring and pube delta around the “O” gears.
Johnny Rock
Footballguy
My almost-10 yo son and I were playing Monopoly today.
His dice game was tight and he consistently avoided landing on my big money makers, round after round. We were laughing about how uncanny it was. So his cash was piling up and I was mortgaging.
When I conceded the game at the end he said, “You can’t stand the glimmer of my ka-ching.”
His dice game was tight and he consistently avoided landing on my big money makers, round after round. We were laughing about how uncanny it was. So his cash was piling up and I was mortgaging.
When I conceded the game at the end he said, “You can’t stand the glimmer of my ka-ching.”
mr. furley
Footballguy
my kid last night
her: dad, did you know if you had ice cream, in the winter, and you left it outside it would stay frozen!!?!??!?
me: i did know that
her: yeah but did you know in the summer, if it's like really really really hot, like the sun, you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!! not like on the sidewalk or anything but in a pan! YOU CAN FRY AN EGG OUTSIDE, DAD!!!
me: i know, that's amazing!! do you know why you can do those things? do you know why it's possible?
her: (contemplative pause) because it's AMERICA!!!!!!
me: #milehighsalute
her: dad, did you know if you had ice cream, in the winter, and you left it outside it would stay frozen!!?!??!?
me: i did know that
her: yeah but did you know in the summer, if it's like really really really hot, like the sun, you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!! not like on the sidewalk or anything but in a pan! YOU CAN FRY AN EGG OUTSIDE, DAD!!!
me: i know, that's amazing!! do you know why you can do those things? do you know why it's possible?
her: (contemplative pause) because it's AMERICA!!!!!!
me:
#milehighsalute
Gawain
Footballguy
8 year old nephew was over and watching tv:
"OMG, this commercial was on that was so funny!!!"
"OK, what was it?"
"The box said that he's been in love three times, once with himself, once with African-Americans and something else."
"IDK buddy, that doesn't sound right. Are you sure the box said he was in love with all African-Americans?"
"No, no, no...the box said he had been in love with two African-Americans."
"That still doesn't sound right and what's the something else?"
Correct answer was "himself, a country and a woman"
He also came up to me and said, "Uncle Gawain, what does **** mean?" 30 second pause "I'm pretty sure it means wiener."
"OMG, this commercial was on that was so funny!!!"
"OK, what was it?"
"The box said that he's been in love three times, once with himself, once with African-Americans and something else."
"IDK buddy, that doesn't sound right. Are you sure the box said he was in love with all African-Americans?"
"No, no, no...the box said he had been in love with two African-Americans."
"That still doesn't sound right and what's the something else?"
Correct answer was "himself, a country and a woman"
He also came up to me and said, "Uncle Gawain, what does **** mean?" 30 second pause "I'm pretty sure it means wiener."
Bull Dozier
Footballguy
My boys are in their mid teens and still want to tell me about funny commercials, but still can't quote them accurately to convey the humor.
Gawain
Footballguy
Yes, but I'm sure they are well ahead of him when it comes to euphemisms for their junk.
Keerock
Footballguy
Wife, son and I went to dinner with my 81 year old mom. To set the story up... realize my son has cancer and is going through treatments.
As grandmas will do, she asked my son... "So, do you have a girlfriend?"
Without skipping a beat, he replies... "I haven't been poaching chicks at the peds infusion center if that's what you're asking..."
Spitting out of the food ensued.
As grandmas will do, she asked my son... "So, do you have a girlfriend?"
Without skipping a beat, he replies... "I haven't been poaching chicks at the peds infusion center if that's what you're asking..."
Spitting out of the food ensued.
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Mrs. Rannous
Footballguy
