What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (12 Viewers)

We picked up my kids from my moms house. She had them for 4 days. My older daughter got pink eye in both eyes. My mom called us on Saturday and told us she had it. I asked how bad it was. 'Oh, not bad honey. She's fine!'

Pick her up yesterday and both eyes are nearly swollen shut and both had pink inflammation in her cheeks as well. Honestly it looks like someone beat her up. She was very uncomfortable.

I almost lost it on my mom. She could have brought her into the Walgreens clinic and gotten the eye drops days ago. I really want to tell her that she should have taken my daughter in but my mother is very sensitive to any criticism and also very passive agressive.
Wait...we're brothers???

 
RE: 100 times. Yes, true. 25 times at least before and between "samples", which run at 4-6 week intervals. I can't even look at myself without getting disgusted...." Oh, YOU again". I'm literally running out of things to masturbate too. I'm pushing Porno taboos that would make Raidernation uncomfortable.

 
We picked up my kids from my moms house. She had them for 4 days. My older daughter got pink eye in both eyes. My mom called us on Saturday and told us she had it. I asked how bad it was. 'Oh, not bad honey. She's fine!'

Pick her up yesterday and both eyes are nearly swollen shut and both had pink inflammation in her cheeks as well. Honestly it looks like someone beat her up. She was very uncomfortable.

I almost lost it on my mom. She could have brought her into the Walgreens clinic and gotten the eye drops days ago. I really want to tell her that she should have taken my daughter in but my mother is very sensitive to any criticism and also very passive agressive.
Wait...we're brothers???
Maybe?
 
We picked up my kids from my moms house. She had them for 4 days. My older daughter got pink eye in both eyes. My mom called us on Saturday and told us she had it. I asked how bad it was. 'Oh, not bad honey. She's fine!'

Pick her up yesterday and both eyes are nearly swollen shut and both had pink inflammation in her cheeks as well. Honestly it looks like someone beat her up. She was very uncomfortable.

I almost lost it on my mom. She could have brought her into the Walgreens clinic and gotten the eye drops days ago. I really want to tell her that she should have taken my daughter in but my mother is very sensitive to any criticism and also very passive agressive.
Wait...we're brothers???
Maybe?
The passive aggressive exceptionally sensitive mother stuck a bit a chord

 
RE: 100 times. Yes, true. 25 times at least before and between "samples", which run at 4-6 week intervals. I can't even look at myself without getting disgusted...." Oh, YOU again". I'm literally running out of things to masturbate too. I'm pushing Porno taboos that would make Raidernation uncomfortable.
I probably have some stuff laying around.

 
Going out to dinner with the cab driver tomorrow. I can't wait to see what her brand of crazy is all about.
Friends with you on FB? I need to see this girl.
No. I asked her to send me pics. She said she would but then didn't. I can't send a friend request because I apparently can't figure out how to spell her name. I'll get some tomorrow. Cute smallish (like 5'2") Latina girl.
Get some pics too.

 
Hawks64 said:
mr roboto said:
Hawks64 said:
mr roboto said:
We picked up my kids from my moms house. She had them for 4 days. My older daughter got pink eye in both eyes. My mom called us on Saturday and told us she had it. I asked how bad it was. 'Oh, not bad honey. She's fine!'

Pick her up yesterday and both eyes are nearly swollen shut and both had pink inflammation in her cheeks as well. Honestly it looks like someone beat her up. She was very uncomfortable.

I almost lost it on my mom. She could have brought her into the Walgreens clinic and gotten the eye drops days ago. I really want to tell her that she should have taken my daughter in but my mother is very sensitive to any criticism and also very passive agressive.
Wait...we're brothers???
Maybe?
The passive aggressive exceptionally sensitive mother stuck a bit a chord
I don't think that is a particularly unique set of qualities, especially not in older women.

Or this is a hell of a coincidence, because I have one of those too.

 
Mr. Pickles said:
-fish- said:
General Malaise said:
-fish- said:
Going out to dinner with the cab driver tomorrow. I can't wait to see what her brand of crazy is all about.
Friends with you on FB? I need to see this girl.
No. I asked her to send me pics. She said she would but then didn't. I can't send a friend request because I apparently can't figure out how to spell her name. I'll get some tomorrow. Cute smallish (like 5'2") Latina girl.
Get some pics too.
Treat her nicely. She could stab you in a moment's notice if you display any attitude.

 
Homer J Simpson said:
General Malaise said:
-fish- said:
Fat Drunk and Stupid said:
-fish- said:
Going out to dinner with the cab driver tomorrow. I can't wait to see what her brand of crazy is all about.
Did we ever go out with the playboy chick?
Scheduled for Thursday, but she's turning out to be really clingy. May have to pull the plug on her before it ever happens.

I think I may just go with the international team for now.
The hell you will. Look here, fella...I'm sitting here with 5 kids and a wife who is scared to have sex with me because I'm still potent. I have been ordered by my urologist to ejaculate a total of 100 times since I was clipped in September. I've watched so much pron on my computer and phone that I can't even enjoy it anymore. I have no imagination, I can't afford a hooker, I look like a pregnant Jim Gaffigan, so really, you're all I got for storyboard romance and sexual hijinx. I mean....there's Homer I guess, but he's not got getting any vulva with that goiter on his head and the ambition of a Peruvian tree sloth.

Now you get out there and you text that Playboy model right now. I don't care if she's clingier than Alicia Silverstone in the movie Crush, you put up with it until you post your sordid details here or I will drive up to Gig Harbor, find your house key that you taped to the front door, saunter in and casually drop off my twins as punishment for your wussy display here. I always knew lawyers were selfish, but good god, man....have you no compassion in your fellow man?
:lmao: "The ambition of a Peruvian tree sloth" will be on my tombstone someday.
If we ever get around to it

 
Homer J Simpson said:
General Malaise said:
-fish- said:
Fat Drunk and Stupid said:
-fish- said:
Going out to dinner with the cab driver tomorrow. I can't wait to see what her brand of crazy is all about.
Did we ever go out with the playboy chick?
Scheduled for Thursday, but she's turning out to be really clingy. May have to pull the plug on her before it ever happens.

I think I may just go with the international team for now.
The hell you will. Look here, fella...I'm sitting here with 5 kids and a wife who is scared to have sex with me because I'm still potent. I have been ordered by my urologist to ejaculate a total of 100 times since I was clipped in September. I've watched so much pron on my computer and phone that I can't even enjoy it anymore. I have no imagination, I can't afford a hooker, I look like a pregnant Jim Gaffigan, so really, you're all I got for storyboard romance and sexual hijinx. I mean....there's Homer I guess, but he's not got getting any vulva with that goiter on his head and the ambition of a Peruvian tree sloth.

Now you get out there and you text that Playboy model right now. I don't care if she's clingier than Alicia Silverstone in the movie Crush, you put up with it until you post your sordid details here or I will drive up to Gig Harbor, find your house key that you taped to the front door, saunter in and casually drop off my twins as punishment for your wussy display here. I always knew lawyers were selfish, but good god, man....have you no compassion in your fellow man?
:lmao: "The ambition of a Peruvian tree sloth" will be on my tombstone someday.
If we ever get around to it
Pretty good little joke here, Amy Schumer.

 
Mr. Pickles said:
-fish- said:
General Malaise said:
-fish- said:
Going out to dinner with the cab driver tomorrow. I can't wait to see what her brand of crazy is all about.
Friends with you on FB? I need to see this girl.
No. I asked her to send me pics. She said she would but then didn't. I can't send a friend request because I apparently can't figure out how to spell her name. I'll get some tomorrow. Cute smallish (like 5'2") Latina girl.
Get some pics too.
I'd like to note that this whole thing doesn't work for me unless he gets some pics.

 
Frostillicus said:
Starting to think my wife is ####### with meWas looking on demand to see if this was out yet

"What's it about?" She said

"A bunch of women escape from and Arkansas prison and get chased by sharks that can go on land too" I say

She says "it's fiction, right?"

:mellow:
was it your wife that asked the same thing about The Martian?
Yeah she asked if that one was a true story

She also was pretty sure Matt Damon (or some other big name actor) was playing a bit part as a male receptionist in Her

 
Saw this on FB yesterday and as bad as a speller as I am I have zero business mocking others, but it's a slow day....

FB post is about driving in the HOV lane at 65 and having somebody come up behind the her with lights a flashing and horns a honking to move out of the way.

Reply:

I just asked my hubby he said it's still the "fast lane" and it's edacete to get over if you can to let people pass, he drives all day long for work.
:lmao:

 
Edacete - is my tribute to all things Ed band

First set is a all Eddie Money

Second set is all Eddie Spaghetti / Supersuckers

Third set is all Vedder / Pearl Jam

 
Fredicate - FRED-uh-kit. n. 1. Playing dumb so I can sneak the word **** into a public conversation. it was good fredicate to ask, I'm usually a good speller but that word gets me every time too. What is the right spelling? Edicate? Edicket?

 

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top