GM's thread about nothing (41 Viewers)

[Disco Stu]

My girlfriend (and her sister) went to a steakhouse for dinner tonight. Their tab was picked up by a random 61 year old Italian gentleman, because she's "so ####### gorgeous."

He then offered to take her to the mall to buy her anything she wants, again because she's "so ####### gorgeous."

At least I don't have to worry about hiding money...

Did she do you allow her to do it?

Yeah, she's not back from the mall yet. Should I be worried?

 

[Disco Stu]

Real answer... she politely declined with "I don't think my boyfriend would like that."

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

My girlfriend (and her sister) went to a steakhouse for dinner tonight. Their tab was picked up by a random 61 year old Italian gentleman, because she's "so ####### gorgeous."

He then offered to take her to the mall to buy her anything she wants, again because she's "so ####### gorgeous."

At least I don't have to worry about hiding money...

Did she do you allow her to do it?

Yeah, she's not back from the mall yet. Should I be worried?

Yeah, that mall that's open til midnight. I tell my wife that's a strip club.

 

[Marvin]

Pregnancy test

 

[proninja]

lol. If he's Raidernation I'd be surprised, but not shocked. RN just couldn't understand why it was bad to download pron, I think his argument was: "But I want to see the latest stuff". Like there aren't terabytes of pron out there already. I mean, I like porn as much as the next guy, but I don't watch so much the internet runs out of it.

Oh, he's RN.I was a little drunk talking out of my ### to proninja the other night and I'm just as drunk tonight so I'm going to stop while I'm ahead. But in the grand scheme of things, downloading a book is no different than downloading a movie, game, show etc.

We're good. I've been known to be a little hotheaded around here. Working on that.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

For the record: I am against stealing movies, unless it's porn. Everyone knows that's barely a legit business.

If you steal porn, don't download it. Trust me. Worked with a guy that makes his living defending porn download cases. The porn distributors are more inclined to sue because:No married guy wants his name to come up in a suit about a movie called: Honey, I banged the babysitter 17. (And that's one of the tamer ones)The porn companies know this, and they get people to settle for 2-3 grand. It's a racket. This is my PSA to GMTAN.

Who doesn't watch porn (I mean read books) for free?

The point is: Stream it, don't download it. I had this discussion with RaiderNation and he just couldn't grasp it. What are you going to do, watch it again? There's plenty of more free porn out there to stream.

Well, Aaron can get a little testy when using his alias so I understand.

lol. If he's Raidernation I'd be surprised, but not shocked. RN just couldn't understand why it was bad to download pron, I think his argument was: "But I want to see the latest stuff". Like there aren't terabytes of pron out there already. I mean, I like porn as much as the next guy, but I don't watch so much the internet runs out of it.

You're not RaiderNation. I picture his living room looking like NORAD in WarGames, except every monitor has different porn genres playing on a continuous feed.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

lol. If he's Raidernation I'd be surprised, but not shocked. RN just couldn't understand why it was bad to download pron, I think his argument was: "But I want to see the latest stuff". Like there aren't terabytes of pron out there already. I mean, I like porn as much as the next guy, but I don't watch so much the internet runs out of it.

Oh, he's RN.I was a little drunk talking out of my ### to proninja the other night and I'm just as drunk tonight so I'm going to stop while I'm ahead. But in the grand scheme of things, downloading a book is no different than downloading a movie, game, show etc.

So the key is to stream books? Is there a site for this? I see internet millions to be made here...

 

[heckmanm]

RIP, sir. Your contributions to humanity will be remembered.

From the internets: "In compliance with his final wishes he will be buried between two couch cushions.

Attempts to revive him by smacking him against the arm of the sofa were unsuccessful.

 

[nysportsfan]

My secretary picked the worst time to walk into my office. I basically just #### my pants.

 

[phishphan]

I haven't got my confirmation email from demonoid yet. It's been a couple of hours. Is that normal?

I received mine almost instantly.

 

[Gadzooks]

I need a cosjobs cornhole.

I sent overtures.Strongly considering a NE road trip. NYC, LI, ferry to Ri and on to Boston,

This could be epic!!! Thorn get the Reese's shirt ready, potential ThornHole on the horizon!!!

I'm going to be in Boston next Thursday and Friday nights... Are you free or will you have my daughter's future husband? Any interest in grabbing a or two?

Worst possible nights of the year. That Friday I am in charge of running the golf tournament for the Chamber of Commerce and that Saturday morning I'm the emcee for a town festival. Switch your plans and come this weekend?

 

[krista4]

I have to interview a guy in 10 minutes that I interviewed a few weeks ago and hated (as did nearly everyone else). It's for a job reporting to my boss, and my boss is trying to convince the rest of us that the guy is OK. He's not. I don't know how I'm going to avoid showing my antipathy toward the guy.

Should have posted earlier for shtick ideas, though I only found out an hour ago I'd have to meet him again. Quick thoughts from anyone?

 

[bostonfred]

Show cleavage. Its like entrapment.

 

[bostonfred]

In fact if you post a picture of the cleavage we can tell you if its enough to get him to flub the interview.

 

[Frostillicus]

Show cleavage. Its like entrapment.

I was going to say something similar. Go with the cleavage thing and then shamelessly flaunt yourself and flirt with him until he hits on you, then you can tell your boss and probably sue him too. Win win.Also yes to the picture thing.

 

[Guster]

I need a cosjobs cornhole.

I sent overtures.Strongly considering a NE road trip. NYC, LI, ferry to Ri and on to Boston,

This could be epic!!! Thorn get the Reese's shirt ready, potential ThornHole on the horizon!!!

I'm going to be in Boston next Thursday and Friday nights... Are you free or will you have my daughter's future husband? Any interest in grabbing a or two?

Worst possible nights of the year. That Friday I am in charge of running the golf tournament for the Chamber of Commerce and that Saturday morning I'm the emcee for a town festival. Switch your plans and come this weekend?

I was originally supposed to come this weekend, but our group in Boston switched up the date of the session they need me to lead.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

I have to interview a guy in 10 minutes that I interviewed a few weeks ago and hated (as did nearly everyone else). It's for a job reporting to my boss, and my boss is trying to convince the rest of us that the guy is OK. He's not. I don't know how I'm going to avoid showing my antipathy toward the guy. Should have posted earlier for shtick ideas, though I only found out an hour ago I'd have to meet him again. Quick thoughts from anyone?

Be sure to end with Zooks' "I love you," shtick.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

"We'll be in touch, I love you."

 

[Marvin]

I haven't got my confirmation email from demonoid yet. It's been a couple of hours. Is that normal?

I received mine almost instantly.

Yeah I don't think I'm getting mine

 

[Marvin]

I have to interview a guy in 10 minutes that I interviewed a few weeks ago and hated (as did nearly everyone else). It's for a job reporting to my boss, and my boss is trying to convince the rest of us that the guy is OK. He's not. I don't know how I'm going to avoid showing my antipathy toward the guy.

Should have posted earlier for shtick ideas, though I only found out an hour ago I'd have to meet him again. Quick thoughts from anyone?

Show him this. Whether you hire him or not depends on his reaction.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I haven't got my confirmation email from demonoid yet. It's been a couple of hours. Is that normal?

I received mine almost instantly.

Yeah I don't think I'm getting mine

Age limit, I think.

 

[Marvin]

I haven't got my confirmation email from demonoid yet. It's been a couple of hours. Is that normal?

I received mine almost instantly.

Yeah I don't think I'm getting mine

Age limit, I think.

Who else is going to supply all the Benny Goodman and Tommy Dorsey music?

 

[Crazy Canuck]

I haven't got my confirmation email from demonoid yet. It's been a couple of hours. Is that normal?

I received mine almost instantly.

Yeah I don't think I'm getting mine

Let me help you across the street, sir

 

[Marvin]

I haven't got my confirmation email from demonoid yet. It's been a couple of hours. Is that normal?

I received mine almost instantly.

Yeah I don't think I'm getting mine

Let me help you across the street, sir

I have a gmail account...and a work account...and my old AOL account. Not to mention about 30 hotmail accounts for aliai that I've forgotten about.

 

[ODoyleRules]

Love my job some times... we just had a legitimate work discussion about ProJect, a sensual fluid release for males who can not produce ejaculatory fluid. (www.trushots.net) I asked if it came in 2 oz. packets.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

My girlfriend (and her sister) went to a steakhouse for dinner tonight. Their tab was picked up by a random 61 year old Italian gentleman, because she's "so ####### gorgeous." He then offered to take her to the mall to buy her anything she wants, again because she's "so ####### gorgeous."At least I don't have to worry about hiding money...

If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it.Play on, 61-yr old Italian dude. Play on.

 

[Disco Stu]

My girlfriend (and her sister) went to a steakhouse for dinner tonight. Their tab was picked up by a random 61 year old Italian gentleman, because she's "so ####### gorgeous." He then offered to take her to the mall to buy her anything she wants, again because she's "so ####### gorgeous."At least I don't have to worry about hiding money...

If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it.Play on, 61-yr old Italian dude. Play on.

I don't think that would have been much of a deterrent to this guy. "I a wife, but it's ok. I'll fly up to Dallas to take you and both of your sisters to a nice dinner. You're just so fuu-king gorgeous!"

 

[Marvin]

Tomorrow is the 8th grade class trip to Disneyland. Going on the trip is contingent upon each student's behavior. Usually this late in the school year kids tend to be pretty spastic and think they don't have to obey all of the rules. The Disneyland trip is great way to keep them in line. If I have a kid that is goofing off all I have to do is say "You know all I have to do is tell the dean that you're being defiant. There's no guarantee you get to go to Disneyland. We have no problem giving you your money back and making you stay home." It works like a charm.

This is how I feel when I do it.

 

[krista4]

I have to interview a guy in 10 minutes that I interviewed a few weeks ago and hated (as did nearly everyone else). It's for a job reporting to my boss, and my boss is trying to convince the rest of us that the guy is OK. He's not. I don't know how I'm going to avoid showing my antipathy toward the guy.

Should have posted earlier for shtick ideas, though I only found out an hour ago I'd have to meet him again. Quick thoughts from anyone?

Be sure to end with Zooks' "I love you," shtick.

Damn it! I didn't see any of the responses before the interview started. I love this one. The cleavage is a given, of course.The guy was only slightly better than the first time I had to meet him. Here's a hint for interviewees everywhere: if the interviewer asks you a question, the appropriate answer is never "I don't know; you tell me."

 

[Marvin]

I have to interview a guy in 10 minutes that I interviewed a few weeks ago and hated (as did nearly everyone else). It's for a job reporting to my boss, and my boss is trying to convince the rest of us that the guy is OK. He's not. I don't know how I'm going to avoid showing my antipathy toward the guy.

Should have posted earlier for shtick ideas, though I only found out an hour ago I'd have to meet him again. Quick thoughts from anyone?

Be sure to end with Zooks' "I love you," shtick.

Damn it! I didn't see any of the responses before the interview started. I love this one. The cleavage is a given, of course.The guy was only slightly better than the first time I had to meet him. Here's a hint for interviewees everywhere: if the interviewer asks you a question, the appropriate answer is never "I don't know; you tell me."

What if the question is "What color panties am I wearing?"

 

[krista4]

I have to interview a guy in 10 minutes that I interviewed a few weeks ago and hated (as did nearly everyone else). It's for a job reporting to my boss, and my boss is trying to convince the rest of us that the guy is OK. He's not. I don't know how I'm going to avoid showing my antipathy toward the guy.

Should have posted earlier for shtick ideas, though I only found out an hour ago I'd have to meet him again. Quick thoughts from anyone?

Be sure to end with Zooks' "I love you," shtick.

Damn it! I didn't see any of the responses before the interview started. I love this one. The cleavage is a given, of course.The guy was only slightly better than the first time I had to meet him. Here's a hint for interviewees everywhere: if the interviewer asks you a question, the appropriate answer is never "I don't know; you tell me."

What if the question is "What color panties am I wearing?"

I knew teacher interviews were very different from other professions.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I have some catching up to do.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I would like to cut out Stephen A Smith's larynx.

 

[Disco Stu]

I would like to cut out Stephen A Smith's larynx.

This might cheer you up GB.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I would like to cut out Stephen A Smith's larynx.

This might cheer you up GB.

I bet she could use some comforting.

 

[krista4]

I have to interview a guy in 10 minutes that I interviewed a few weeks ago and hated (as did nearly everyone else). It's for a job reporting to my boss, and my boss is trying to convince the rest of us that the guy is OK. He's not. I don't know how I'm going to avoid showing my antipathy toward the guy.

Should have posted earlier for shtick ideas, though I only found out an hour ago I'd have to meet him again. Quick thoughts from anyone?

Show him this. Whether you hire him or not depends on his reaction.

Awwwwwwwwwww.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Hey Krista. Total non sequitur here, but what color panties are you wearing?

I'm asking for a friend.

 

[Marvin]

I have to interview a guy in 10 minutes that I interviewed a few weeks ago and hated (as did nearly everyone else). It's for a job reporting to my boss, and my boss is trying to convince the rest of us that the guy is OK. He's not. I don't know how I'm going to avoid showing my antipathy toward the guy.

Should have posted earlier for shtick ideas, though I only found out an hour ago I'd have to meet him again. Quick thoughts from anyone?

Show him this. Whether you hire him or not depends on his reaction.

Awwwwwwwwwww.

I like how the cat moves his head to both sides of the guy's face. It's like he's Italian or something.

 

[krista4]

Hey Krista. Total non sequitur here, but what color panties are you wearing?I'm asking for a friend.

I don't know; you tell me!

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Hey Krista. Total non sequitur here, but what color panties are you wearing?I'm asking for a friend.

I don't know; you tell me!

Seriously, this is important information.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Alright, got stupid wasted at the wedding. Old college friends etc. etc. I was hung over for 3 days. Anyhow, if you look at any of the hundreds of pics Mrs. SLB tagged me in on FB, there is a couple of me giving the Best Man's speech. Except I wasn't exactly the BM. Seems my GB didn't want to hurt his little brother's feelings but didn't want to exclude me so catted out by splitting the two. Kind of wish I would have told him to GFH now. Anyhow, as if giving a speech when you are #### faced wasted isn't awkward enough, I got to do mine on the dance floor surrounded by people on all sides. Still crushed the thing and took about 45 seconds which is plenty for these types of things. I was firing on all cylinders and had two different chicks cry on my shoulder (while they wrapped their arms around me) about how much they missed me. Another broad I didn't even recognize, and barely knew her from college, (but damn she looked good, pretty sure I almost hooked up with her one night) immediately greet me after my speech, threw her arms around my waist and asked me to escort her to the smoking area. Pretty sure she rubbed my junk too. Did I mention Mrs. SLB was so wasted she was dancing on top of a table or something with a GB of mine and I was so wasted I didn't even care?

I have a more but I'm running late for my massage.

ETA

K4 isn't wearing panties.

 

[Ministry of Pain]

Clinton still pimpin'

 

[Osaurus]

Had a good 2nd interview this morning. Went pretty well, but who knows. Really enjoyed being out of the office too but all good things and whatnot.This sums it up nicely.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

Tomorrow is the 8th grade class trip to Disneyland. Going on the trip is contingent upon each student's behavior. Usually this late in the school year kids tend to be pretty spastic and think they don't have to obey all of the rules. The Disneyland trip is great way to keep them in line. If I have a kid that is goofing off all I have to do is say "You know all I have to do is tell the dean that you're being defiant. There's no guarantee you get to go to Disneyland. We have no problem giving you your money back and making you stay home." It works like a charm.

This is how I feel when I do it.

 

[Frostillicus]

I think the hottest chick in my office just hit on me. Nice.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Alright, got stupid wasted at the wedding. Old college friends etc. etc. I was hung over for 3 days. Anyhow, if you look at any of the hundreds of pics Mrs. SLB tagged me in on FB, there is a couple of me giving the Best Man's speech. Except I wasn't exactly the BM. Seems my GB didn't want to hurt his little brother's feelings but didn't want to exclude me so catted out by splitting the two. Kind of wish I would have told him to GFH now. Anyhow, as if giving a speech when you are #### faced wasted isn't awkward enough, I got to do mine on the dance floor surrounded by people on all sides. Still crushed the thing and took about 45 seconds which is plenty for these types of things. I was firing on all cylinders and had two different chicks cry on my shoulder (while they wrapped their arms around me) about how much they missed me. Another broad I didn't even recognize, and barely knew her from college, (but damn she looked good, pretty sure I almost hooked up with her one night) immediately greet me after my speech, threw her arms around my waist and asked me to escort her to the smoking area. Pretty sure she rubbed my junk too. Did I mention Mrs. SLB was so wasted she was dancing on top of a table or something with a GB of mine and I was so wasted I didn't even care?I have a more but I'm running late for my massage.ETAK4 isn't wearing panties.

I won't bore you people any more about this but want to add that Mrs. SLB looked awful in pretty much every picture she posted, she was a hot sweaty mess. Re: 50 shades of gray, Mrs. SLB just read it in two nights. I read a page over her shoulder and it was pretty awful albeit erotic writing. We'll see. Re: Doc Appointment: My vitamin D was low for the second consecutive test. Just below normal but low none-the-less. Considering I get plenty of sun light, and a few Google searches, I'm more than a little freaked out. I'm supposed to take a vitamin D supplement for a few months and then get blood work again. We'll see.

 

[shuke]

Alright, got stupid wasted at the wedding. Old college friends etc. etc. I was hung over for 3 days. Anyhow, if you look at any of the hundreds of pics Mrs. SLB tagged me in on FB, there is a couple of me giving the Best Man's speech. Except I wasn't exactly the BM. Seems my GB didn't want to hurt his little brother's feelings but didn't want to exclude me so catted out by splitting the two. Kind of wish I would have told him to GFH now. Anyhow, as if giving a speech when you are #### faced wasted isn't awkward enough, I got to do mine on the dance floor surrounded by people on all sides. Still crushed the thing and took about 45 seconds which is plenty for these types of things. I was firing on all cylinders and had two different chicks cry on my shoulder (while they wrapped their arms around me) about how much they missed me. Another broad I didn't even recognize, and barely knew her from college, (but damn she looked good, pretty sure I almost hooked up with her one night) immediately greet me after my speech, threw her arms around my waist and asked me to escort her to the smoking area. Pretty sure she rubbed my junk too. Did I mention Mrs. SLB was so wasted she was dancing on top of a table or something with a GB of mine and I was so wasted I didn't even care?I have a more but I'm running late for my massage.ETAK4 isn't wearing panties.

Hero

 

[Marvin]

Re: 50 shades of gray, Mrs. SLB just read it in two nights. I read a page over her shoulder and it was pretty awful albeit erotic writing. We'll see.

Got this for my wife last night. I think she read the first chapter. I decided to see what the fuss is. I'm probably on chapter 8 or 9 by now (I read like a champion). It's dog-####. Even the dirty parts are difficult to read.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

Re: 50 shades of gray, Mrs. SLB just read it in two nights. I read a page over her shoulder and it was pretty awful albeit erotic writing. We'll see.

Got this for my wife last night. I think she read the first chapter. I decided to see what the fuss is. I'm probably on chapter 8 or 9 by now (I read like a champion). It's dog-####. Even the dirty parts are difficult to read.

Awesome! I love scaterotica!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Alright, got stupid wasted at the wedding. Old college friends etc. etc. I was hung over for 3 days. Anyhow, if you look at any of the hundreds of pics Mrs. SLB tagged me in on FB, there is a couple of me giving the Best Man's speech. Except I wasn't exactly the BM. Seems my GB didn't want to hurt his little brother's feelings but didn't want to exclude me so catted out by splitting the two. Kind of wish I would have told him to GFH now. Anyhow, as if giving a speech when you are #### faced wasted isn't awkward enough, I got to do mine on the dance floor surrounded by people on all sides. Still crushed the thing and took about 45 seconds which is plenty for these types of things. I was firing on all cylinders and had two different chicks cry on my shoulder (while they wrapped their arms around me) about how much they missed me. Another broad I didn't even recognize, and barely knew her from college, (but damn she looked good, pretty sure I almost hooked up with her one night) immediately greet me after my speech, threw her arms around my waist and asked me to escort her to the smoking area. Pretty sure she rubbed my junk too. Did I mention Mrs. SLB was so wasted she was dancing on top of a table or something with a GB of mine and I was so wasted I didn't even care?I have a more but I'm running late for my massage.ETAK4 isn't wearing panties.

Hero

Thanks GB. The Maid of Honor had a two page poem written out that lasted about 7 minutes which is about 6:15 too long. A couple of GB's asked me where my speech was while she speaking and I told them I didn't have one written out. They then laughed hysterically and said "oh no, you're going to choke." I smiled and said "Yeah I don't think so." /LLcooljETAMy definition of "crushed" is the bride was crying and my GB looked like he was about to.Most importantly, Carrie continues to suck my rug clean on a daily basis. Which is nice.