GM's thread about nothing (43 Viewers)

[Ignoramus]

Major is either huge bag of pig anuses or he's slow playing some awesome shtick in the fashion thread.

Little bit of column A, little bit of column B.

 

[flysack]

No lie - I had a dream that homer and I were moving in to an apartment in Chicago. We were driving there from my old house in Texas only we had to wait because homers stuff from New York hadnt arrived yet via ups. When the ups truck arrived, all he had was an old desk and 4 dinner chairs.

Did it look like this?

 

[Guster]

Major is either huge bag of pig anuses or he's slow playing some awesome shtick in the fashion thread.

Little bit of column A, little bit of column B.

I could be mixing him up with another FBG, but wasn't he married to a girl that designed clothes for JCrew at one point

 

[flysack]

Major is either huge bag of pig anuses or he's slow playing some awesome shtick in the fashion thread.

Little bit of column A, little bit of column B.

Looks like this. He's generally a good guy under the superficiality, and a quick scan of that thread says he's partly clowning on people. Partly.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

No lie - I had a dream that homer and I were moving in to an apartment in Chicago. We were driving there from my old house in Texas only we had to wait because homers stuff from New York hadnt arrived yet via ups. When the ups truck arrived, all he had was an old desk and 4 dinner chairs.

What else do we need?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

No lie - I had a dream that homer and I were moving in to an apartment in Chicago. We were driving there from my old house in Texas only we had to wait because homers stuff from New York hadnt arrived yet via ups. When the ups truck arrived, all he had was an old desk and 4 dinner chairs.

Did it look like this?

Wonder which one I'd be.

 

[Abraham]

No lie - I had a dream that homer and I were moving in to an apartment in Chicago. We were driving there from my old house in Texas only we had to wait because homers stuff from New York hadnt arrived yet via ups. When the ups truck arrived, all he had was an old desk and 4 dinner chairs.

What else do we need?

The desk was particle board. The chairs were solid wood.

 

[Thorn]

MAKE UP PICK

Harry Douglas, ATL WR

 

[Fuller]

PARENTING TIP:

If your kid needs to enroll in a new school go ahead and wait until the day before school starts or even the actual day school starts. No sense in wasting a perfectly good summer day with unimportant stuff like enrolling your kid in school. Besides, teachers and school officials love a surprise and don't do much planning ahead any way.

I keep hearing on the radio that there's a problem in Memphis with parents refusing to enroll their kids in school until after Labor Day. School starts like 3-5 weeks before Labor Day.

 

[Frostillicus]

TE Brent Celek, Phillies

 

[flysack]

Today I went to a butcher's to ask for some blood.

I imagined it would be pretty awkward. The guy would think I was in a satanic cult or a psychotic Twilight fan. So I sat in the parking lot practicing what I'd say. (Please recall that I'm a social invalid.)

A - "Hi. You have lots of blood laying around right? Can I get some?"

B - "Hi. I'm not a psycho or serial killer or sicko, I just need some blood for like artistic reasons. I swear I won't drink it to puke it up on old people wearing fur."

C - "Hi. I have an unusual request. I dabble in conceptual art in my spare time and I need some blood for a piece I'm working on."

A, B, or C...

As soon as I walked in I knew I'd have no problems. The butcher turns out to be a bearded hippy/-ster with gauge earrings and a toque keeping his wiry long hair out of everyone's meat.

I drop rap C on him.

"Oh we get weird requests like that all the time," he says, super enthusiastic. "But unfortunately federal regulations say we can't hand over blood. If it were anything else gory [note: his eyes gleam when he says this and I might be imagining things, but I swear the dude ran a wet tongue stud over his lips. If this isn't factually true, it's still very true on some level]. But we can't give anyone blood."

"I understand. Diseases and all that. Health codes."

"Yea," he sighs. "How about a pig head?"

"What?"

"I can give you a pig head. Or balls. We got plenty of pig balls here. There's a whole pile of them in the back. You should see," he looks toward the back room like he seriously wants to bring me back into his little shop of horrors.

"Um, no. I just need blood for a paint substitute. The pigment, and all that."

"Oh." He looks really disappointed. "Well, sorry. Try a slaughterhouse." He writes down the name of two area slaughterhouses.

"Thanks."

And to think I was worried about being weird. I should have known better. TII. This is Ithaca.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

When the ups truck arrived,

Keep me out of your filthy sex dreams, you son of a #####.

 

[T Bell]

Today I went to a butcher's to ask for some blood.

I imagined it would be pretty awkward. The guy would think I was in a satanic cult or a psychotic Twilight fan. So I sat in the parking lot practicing what I'd say. (Please recall that I'm a social invalid.)

A - "Hi. You have lots of blood laying around right? Can I get some?"

B - "Hi. I'm not a psycho or serial killer or sicko, I just need some blood for like artistic reasons. I swear I won't drink it to puke it up on old people wearing fur."

C - "Hi. I have an unusual request. I dabble in conceptual art in my spare time and I need some blood for a piece I'm working on."

A, B, or C...

As soon as I walked in I knew I'd have no problems. The butcher turns out to be a bearded hippy/-ster with gauge earrings and a toque keeping his wiry long hair out of everyone's meat.

I drop rap C on him.

"Oh we get weird requests like that all the time," he says, super enthusiastic. "But unfortunately federal regulations say we can't hand over blood. If it were anything else gory [note: his eyes gleam when he says this and I might be imagining things, but I swear the dude ran a wet tongue stud over his lips. If this isn't factually true, it's still very true on some level]. But we can't give anyone blood."

"I understand. Diseases and all that. Health codes."

"Yea," he sighs. "How about a pig head?"

"What?"

"I can give you a pig head. Or balls. We got plenty of pig balls here. There's a whole pile of them in the back. You should see," he looks toward the back room like he seriously wants to bring me back into his little shop of horrors.

"Um, no. I just need blood for a paint substitute. The pigment, and all that."

"Oh." He looks really disappointed. "Well, sorry. Try a slaughterhouse." He writes down the name of two area slaughterhouses.

"Thanks."

And to think I was worried about being weird. I should have known better. TII. This is Ithaca.

You know that they have this awesome #### called "red paint" that you can use. You don't even need a license for it or anything.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

"Give me some blood, n**ga"

 

[Idiot Boxer]

How much you need? I've got a pretty useless container at home holding about 5 pints.

 

[cosjobs]

I can buy quarts of pigs blood at the Asian market here.

 

[Drifter]

What kind of artist are you? If you're not taking it from your own body, you're just a poseur.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Have a shtick idea that I want to run past someone. Can I get a PM please? TIA.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

This site is unusable if you don't tell it to remember you when you log in.

 

[Gadzooks]

Guess who doesn't have a wart on his junk anymore?

Now who wants to bang?

 

[T Bell]

Guess who doesn't have a wart on his junk anymore?

Now who wants to bang?

Sort of like how the boat sails faster when you clean the barnacles off of the hull.

 

[UniAlias]

Guess who doesn't have a wart on his junk anymore?

Now who wants to bang?

Sort of like how the boat sails faster when you clean the barnacles off of the hull.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Guess who doesn't have a wart on his junk anymore?

George Burns

 

[charvik]

Alright, time for our last pick.

We need a good bourbon, and with Adrian Forrester being wheeled off to the med center, we will select:

Cierre "Wood"ford Reserve, RB

 

[charvik]

are we done now?

 

[Guster]

I have no clue what round we are in right now, but I'm pretty sure that Zooks and I were skipped

How many picks do we need to make?

 

[kevzilla]

Guess who doesn't have a wart on his junk anymore?

Now who wants to bang?

Guster and I are kind of a thing now, but the way he goes through them....

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Guess who doesn't have a wart on his junk anymore?

George Burns

 

[Guster]

Guess who doesn't have a wart on his junk anymore?

Now who wants to bang?

Guster and I are kind of a thing now, but the way he goes through them....

I don't know how to break it to you, but... I kinda have plans with a lady friend tonight. And a different lady friend on Thursday.

Congrats on a successful wartectomy Zooks

 

[General Malaise]

24.01 Amazon Primelvrs - Ryan Fitzpatrick - QB - TEN
24.02 Ice Bags & Nachos - Lavon Brazzil - WR - IND
24.03 Sweatier Vests - Matt Hasselbeck - QB - IND
24.04 Let it Sweat - Brandon GIbson - WR - MIA
24.05 Reese's Power - Harry Douglas - WR - ATL
24.06 Jr. High Cheerleaders - Leonard Hankerson - WR - WAS
24.07 Pale Wiffle Condoms - Matt Moore - QB - MIA
24.08 PowerAids - Josh Morgan - WR - WAS
24.09 Stinky Fingers - SKIPPED
24.10 Elderly Anoos Aids - Ladarious Green - TE - SD
24.11 Es Pipi - Ciera Wood - RB - HOU
24.12 Drugstore Cowboys - Shayne Graham - K - CLE
24.13 Vag Head Hummus Men Travis Benjamin - WR - CLE
24.14 Oildale Meat Raffle - Brent Celek - TE - PHI

 

[General Malaise]

So we need picks from Oildale and Stink Fingers....then we are done. Let us never speak of this again.

 

[Guster]

24.01 Amazon Primelvrs - Ryan Fitzpatrick - QB - TEN
24.02 Ice Bags & Nachos - Lavon Brazzil - WR - IND
24.03 Sweatier Vests - Matt Hasselbeck - QB - IND
24.04 Let it Sweat - Brandon GIbson - WR - MIA
24.05 Reese's Power - Harry Douglas - WR - ATL
24.06 Jr. High Cheerleaders - Leonard Hankerson - WR - WAS
24.07 Pale Wiffle Condoms - Matt Moore - QB - MIA
24.08 PowerAids - Josh Morgan - WR - WAS
24.09 Stinky Fingers - SKIPPED
24.10 Elderly Anoos Aids - Ladarious Green - TE - SD
24.11 Es Pipi - Ciera Wood - RB - HOU
24.12 Drugstore Cowboys - Shayne Graham - K - CLE
24.13 Vag Head Hummus Men Travis Benjamin - WR - CLE
24.14 Oildale Meat Raffle - ???

So it's down to Gustzooks and Tannerillicus to finish this draft off?

 

[Guster]

So we need picks from Oildale and Stink Fingers....then we are done. Let us never speak of this again.

this has been, fun. Thanks GB!

 

[Frostillicus]

I took some tight end guy up thread. Celek.

 

[guru_007]

So, when does the reserve round portion of this draft begin? Still have to fill those 10-12 bench spots, no?

 

[proninja]

I'm really looking forward to having the top 3 defenses and starting the wrong one each week.

 

[General Malaise]

I took some tight end guy up thread. Celek.

Got it. Zookster, make your last pick please.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Alright, time for our last pick.

We need a good bourbon, and with Adrian Forrester being wheeled off to the med center, we will select:

Cierre "Wood"ford Reserve, RB

I think I will celebrate Mr. Irrelevant tonight in appropriate fashion.

 

[General Malaise]

So we need picks from Oildale and Stink Fingers....then we are done. Let us never speak of this again.

this has been, fun. Thanks GB!

you got a pick? i want to hit "START SEASON" so bad....

 

[St. Louis Bob]

PARENTING TIP:

If your kid needs to enroll in a new school go ahead and wait until the day before school starts or even the actual day school starts. No sense in wasting a perfectly good summer day with unimportant stuff like enrolling your kid in school. Besides, teachers and school officials love a surprise and don't do much planning ahead any way.

Mrs. SLB had to work today so she was gone early which left the boys strictly under my jurisdiction. I already instituted "no TV, computers or vidya games Tuesdays" for today and the future until I change my mind. So it was fun to remind them of that this morning. I've decided every morning will be like this on school days going forward.

So instead of three people riddled with Dory, I had those two little bastards dressed, fed, teeth brushed and rooms cleaned with time left over for Dylan to play on the swingset and Cal to read some of his book. Then we walked the mile to school and they arrived before the bus would have even gotten to our house. The foot, it has been put down.

 

[proninja]

PARENTING TIP:

If your kid needs to enroll in a new school go ahead and wait until the day before school starts or even the actual day school starts. No sense in wasting a perfectly good summer day with unimportant stuff like enrolling your kid in school. Besides, teachers and school officials love a surprise and don't do much planning ahead any way.

Mrs. SLB had to work today so she was gone early which left the boys strictly under my jurisdiction. I already instituted "no TV, computers or vidya games Tuesdays" for today and the future until I change my mind. So it was fun to remind them of that this morning. I've decided every morning will be like this on school days going forward.

So instead of three people riddled with Dory, I had those two little bastards dressed, fed, teeth brushed and rooms cleaned with time left over for Dylan to play on the swingset and Cal to read some of his book. Then we walked the mile to school and they arrived before the bus would have even gotten to our house. The foot, it has been put down.

:takingnotes:

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Guess who doesn't have a wart on his junk anymore?

Now who wants to bang?

Sort of like how the boat sails faster when you clean the barnacles off of the hull.

Guess who doesn't have a wart on his junk anymore?

George Burns

So we need picks from Oildale and Stink Fingers....then we are done. Let us never speak of this again.

this has been, fun. Thanks GB!

you got a pick? i want to hit "START SEASON" so bad....

Funny, I want to masturbate so bad. Tell me some more about your Mom.

 

[mr roboto]

So between Zooks **** warts, Kristas mosquito bites, Tre's lump on the side of his head and SLB's head vag, we've got a freak show trauma unit in here.

 

[YSR]

So between Zooks **** warts, Kristas mosquito bites, Tre's lump on the side of his head and SLB's head vag, we've got a freak show trauma unit in here.

Don't forget about my deformed boobs!

 

[charvik]

K4> http://www.kitepatch.com/

Not available quite yet, but a nice cause to get involved with maybe?

 

[proninja]

Guess who doesn't have a wart on his junk?

 

[General Malaise]

Alright, if Zooks or Guster doesn't draft within the hour, they are going to get Mark Sanchez and we'll move on....

 

[Tiger Fan]

When does the fantasy basketball draft start?

 

[Idiot Boxer]

So between Zooks **** warts, Kristas mosquito bites, Tre's lump on the side of his head and SLB's head vag, we've got a freak show trauma unit in here.

Don't forget about my deformed boobs!

Oh...we haven't...

 

[Disco Stu]

Major is either huge bag of pig anuses or he's slow playing some awesome shtick in the fashion thread.

Big fan of his shtick.