Josie Maran
Footballguy
The epic battle between hunger and laziness continues...
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
GM's thread about nothing (25 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
FatMax
Member
Did the baby arrive? Everything good?
shamwow!
Footballguy
No offense to Mr. Pickles....but this shtick deserves ridicule before any copulation props are given.Ser Ulric>Booooooooo!
cosjobs
Footballguy
If I'm ever too lazy to lift a fork, I hope I can summon the energy to close the garage door while I listen to the Sirius.
in the running for worst shtick in this thread
cosjobs
Footballguy
I see no reason to limit its worthlessness to this thread
jplvr
Footballguy
Buddy doing fine. Gnarly scar on neck. In a brace for 3 months. Still sore and on meds.
I woke up late this morning to see him leaving the breakfast table. He greeted me with " dhjsjbdueiwjkaofhdbdbekwkakdhxb" and headed for his chair. 2 percosets and a muscle relaxer will do that to you.
I woke up late this morning to see him leaving the breakfast table. He greeted me with " dhjsjbdueiwjkaofhdbdbekwkakdhxb" and headed for his chair. 2 percosets and a muscle relaxer will do that to you.
cosjobs
Footballguy
I hate wasting them on pain. Glad to hear he's up and about. That's a tough injury.
Last edited by a moderator:
Josie Maran
Footballguy
Haha I'm not THAT lazy. If I had any food here, I would have gladly lifted a fork.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
6-2 last night, +2.01u
Rogers (col) UNDER 104.5 p -115
Abreu (laa) NO RBI -180
Davis (tor) NO Run -190
Rasmus (tor) NO RBI -180
Gonzalez (atl) NO Run -160
Pena (chc) NO RBI -160
Alvarez (pit) YES K -220
Keppinger (sf) YES HIt -250
Pierzynski (chw) YES Hit -240
Carroll (lad) YES Hit -220
Rogers (col) UNDER 104.5 p -115
Abreu (laa) NO RBI -180
Davis (tor) NO Run -190
Rasmus (tor) NO RBI -180
Gonzalez (atl) NO Run -160
Pena (chc) NO RBI -160
Alvarez (pit) YES K -220
Keppinger (sf) YES HIt -250
Pierzynski (chw) YES Hit -240
Carroll (lad) YES Hit -220
Binky The Doormat
Footballguy
Apparently you haven't ever been down south now haveya pardner?
McJose
Footballguy
There's an artificial lake not too far from my house. I see lots of people of color fishing on its banks when I drive by. Often times I honk my horn just to show that I'm open-minded.
Oh Yes!
Footballguy
No I haven't. Now I know
I have to retrain my brain now, I still see frosty-licious.Ski Dubai'krista4 said:'jplvr said:I thought it was frosty-licious.
And hope your friend is recovering well. And sorry about your losses, Sofa.Right now in Dubai the heat index is allegedly 125 degrees, though I think that is on the low side. There is a law here that prevents anyone from working if the temperature hits a certain point, so I'm told that the temperature is always listed as lower than actual because the government does not want people to stop working. Whatever it is, this is the hottest place I've ever been, and that includes both India and Africa in the summer months. I suppose I should have known when my friend who lives in Saudi Arabia said she couldn't meet me here for a day, despite it being less than an hour flight away, because it is too hot here for her. Also because it's Ramadan, you can't even have a bottle of water with you in public. Good times.
Krista, I feel your pain. It is hot as crap out here (has been getting cooler though). Ramadan in August is brutal, long pants and 130 degree weather is not a friendly combination to anyone's bits and pieces. I am, however, super thankful that my job has me frying here rather than further forward on our military fronts.
Mrs. Davinci, I have thought that the "slope" in Dubai was one of the coolest things ever for years (more literally at the moment). I am just up the road, but due to travel restrictions in theater I won't be going there. It has pushed the location up a notch or two on my list, but there are just too many resorts in the US and Canada to hit already. Cool place, thanks for the reminder.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
When we got done golfing today there were two black kids fishing in a lake by a picnic table that we were settling bets at. Their grandfather invited himself over, sat down and laughed his ### off at us. When everybody left he told me the one kid was faster than Vick, had a cannon like Peyton and got straight A's. I congratulated him and he told me he was 14. The kid looked like he was 20.There are nothing but white people out here. I'm so home sick. :(
Chemical X
Footballguy
i leave this written diary as a small window into what my life has digressed to:
woke up friday AM at 6am, early for me cause i am travelling into work with wife. leaving early, i am, to catch 8pm flight one way to miami. my mom has become ill, which has effected her ability to not be a moron and #######. i have been paying for her pets to be boarded for 8 weeks and i finally gave up hope she would be able to accept responsibility for them again. my wife found a taker for them at her job, no small task given the advanced age of the animals, one dog and one cat. problem is, i need to transport the pets from st. lucie to raleigh. i am not flying with 2 animals and cargo not an option due to heat. 1000- to hire someone to drive them, so i need to find some schmuck to drive them. sadly, that schmuck is me.
i had thought about euthanasia, but couldnt find anyone that would put my mom down for me. so, plan is to fly one way, rent car for drive back on saturday, some 700 miles. got a buddy in west palm and i can crash at his house for 6 hours, saving me hotel. cant stay at mom's place, it reeks of urine, both animal and human. arrive miami around 10pm, sit on tarmac waiting for gate. pretty excited i didnt die in air crash (i hate flying). looking forward to my rental. avis ran out of smaller cars and offered me a cadillac or similar for only 10- more. unlimited miles and car is under 200-, not bad. miami airport blows. luckily i boned up on my spanish and swahili and made it rental car office. gotta take bus off site to 4th deck in miami, then walk 2 levels down, then walk thru lot to avis. car in 24b and i walk up to vehicle. doesnt look like a caddy, obviously a hyundai genesis is not quite a caddy. pretty annoyed, but a car is a car and i have over an hour to west palm. car is like flying a plane, so many things lit and buttons and knobs i cant figure anything out. finally find xm satellite and get octane going.
make it to friend at 11.45. i have known him 32 years, we went to college where he met his wife and i met her there. he was best man at my wedding. havent seen him in 4 years and once in 10-15 years. he has 3 kids now 14-12-5. no one is awake, just friend who lets me in. i thought wife would be up to say hi, maybe kids to greet their dad's oldest friend. nope. i found this odd. i notice house is 80 degrees inside. we bull#### a bit, about nonsense, he makes me feel old i think to myself. i would have my kids and wife awake, at least for a greeting. have restless 4 hours of sleep, soaked in sweat, my complete number one pet peeve. wife send me text at 6.15 am to get up. i am ####ed cause i know i havent slept. buddy says text when i get up in morning. i sent 2 pet crates to his house on friday and he set them up for me with his kids. buddy wakes up and i am ready in 15 minutes. no coffee ready, no water offer, nothing to eat, no one else up. he walks me to car and wishes me well. was an odd stay, prolly the last time i see/talk to him.
drive to st lucie, need to raid mom's place for supplies for woman taking pets. grab litter, food, etc. place reeks, but i'm in and out. now off to pet watcher to grab animals. wanted to be on road by 8-8.30am, but i am a bit behind. get to woman's house, which is a sty from housing animals. i bring in crates, she gets cat and dog in their crates easily, i bring to car, thank her and think i cant believe i paid this woman close to 1600-. gas up, hit the turnpike and look for 95 crossover. on the road around 8.45-9am. i realize i missed the easy crossover and wind up needing to take 60 east to catch 95 north. costs me 15-20 minutes, stupid mistake, but i only have time. thinking i can get to raleigh around 6-6.30. some random meows and dog snorts, but they settle in. octane pretty cool, talk to wife for a bit here and there and give her updates when i hit daytona, after jax (mmmmm jax) and when i get into ga. got about a 1/4 tank of gas its about 12.45 and i am near brunswick georgia. good time to stop, grab a bite and a drink, since i havent had anything since dinner friday. i dont want to drink too much in car so i dont need to stop to pee. maybe i'll hit mcdonalds for a frappe, grab some fries and some gas. also, need to walk dog and walk cat. wife reminded me to walk cat when i told her i would stop. she has never owned a cat, i have had multiple growing up. i never walked my cat. i've seen people put a cat on a leash and how hard can this be? you can see where i am going...... i said to myself, myself i said, maybe we just leave cat alone. get off exit see starbucks. better for me, i grab an iced coffee and stale plain bagel, hit bathroom, wash up. head back to car. nice little grassy knoll for cat and dog i think. dog has harness on, he's a little pug. likes his walk, no poo, but he pees and sniffs and seems happy to have a forever home in his sights. he doesnt want to go back in crate and i figure he can stay in back on seat. no biggie, my dog does this. i put him in back and he proceeds to crawl forward to driver seat. i laugh. that would be my last laugh for a bit. cat in backseat. i brought a slip knot leash that they use on dogs in kennel for cat. will slip on leash and give cat a pee break. take out 11- carrier that is as cheap as can be. put carrier on grass open latch, slip on leash and out comes cat. then its hell on earth. cat freaks completely out. a margot kidder type freakout. cat is 12 pounds and might be declawed. no matter, its freaking the hell out, trying to escape, flailing, meowing, choking itself, getting scared. me too. i cant let this cat, i could care less, but cant disappoint my ungreatful ####### of a mom and dont want to tell wife, honey, i lost the cat in brunswick georgia. so i am hanging on for dear life in a death struggle. i realize back door of car is open and dog is still inside, thank god cant have him escape. i try to close door and grab cat to get back in carrier. cat freaks and bites into my middle and ring finger so severely that blood spurts upwards. i am in bad shape fast. this is happening fast, but in slow motion. blood pouring over me. i freaked a bit at the pain and must've knocked into the carrier, cause the handle is off and worse, the door comes off. now i'm dead. i cant one handedly manage. i look up at starbucks embarrassed and hopeful someone would help. no luck, pretty isolated spot. so, i try to protect hand and use feet and legs to guide cat to carrier and close door with other knee. i am worried for my right ankle, cause i am recently removed from a bad fall where i tore meniscus in knee and suffered an ankle multi fracture with high ankle sprain, sort of mid calf. the ankle has been sore lately. i cant get hurt again i think. dont get twisted. i use right leg to shuffle cat forward and try to get door with left leg while cat is flailing, cat gets tangled up behind me and as i go for door i feel a gun shot to my back left leg. its not a gun, the cat leaped at my leg and sunk its teeth into me to the point i cant get it off. i get car door closed, but i go down to the ground in a heap from the pain. its bad, my left calf muscle feels like its been punctured and i feel the cold blood. as i go down i know i am taking cat with me, cause this is life and death. i go down hard to the left and hurl cat at the ground, holding onto leash. the thought passes me to just kill it. i cant. i dont care, but cant kill it. it hits the ground with me. we are both sprawled out in the same position, on our backs, tongues hanging out eyes rolled back. i get up first and cat is surely being choked to death but i dont dare try for choker removal in my condition. i look at cat and it moves and lets out a please just kill me meow. its alive and wounded and this is my shot to try to get it into carrier. i grab carrier and slide door to me on the floor. i try to scoop cat in with left hand and it takes my pointer into its mouth with such ferocity that i am certain my finger is in its stomach. but i have no choice here, this is my one shot. with cat wedged to finger i get it into carrier and turn the carrier to go up and down so cat falls to bottom. i see the dog in car in back. cat goes to bottom, releases finger i get the door on and somehow manage to remove choker, but i just know the cat is dead. why would it let me remove choker if it wasnt dead i think. i get cat in backseat. car closed and then i turn to myself. its bad and i think i am in shock, mental and physical. i have at least 6 puncture wounds in back leg and blood free flowing. 3 fingers are shredded badly. i had a towel in car and wipe off blood as best i can and head back to starbucks. dont think they noticed my issue so i non chalantly head to bathroom. i try to cleanup as best i can with lots of soap and water and paper towels. no towels, they have an air thing. i go to counter and calmly ask for a band aid or 2. girl in corner is looking at my leg and looks horrified, i can tell. i feel the blood. they give me 3 bandaids. i have at least 20 wounds all bleeding. i leave the shins. i go finger on left, one finger on right and back of leg. i leave and head to car. told my wife i'd call after i got back on road. wtf do i say? i still need gas, am driving with leg wrapped in towel and my fingers burn me so badly and are so badly swollen that i think i may need to drive to hospital. my fingers look like something i cant describe, instantly purple with huge bump welts. i get to gas station. dog is on front on floor of passenger side, he seems happy. cat in back, i wont look. 50/50. if its dead, whats my story? i get gas and hit the road.
pain and burning are severe, i am going to drive home and hope and focus. i am in bad shape and really not capable of driving. i am sweating badly like i just got tattooed, not like its hot. gotta be my nerves. hope to god its not anything severe. i have 5-6 hours left, how the #### am i going to make it? i call wife and decide i cant let her know and get her worried. so its business as usual, having fun, all is well. the next 2 hours see the burning subside, replaced by pain. i can drive barely, but my hands are bad, but i find comfortable way to hold wheel. kraft sends me a text and i call tre to tell him this story and see if he wants to trade for mike cuddler. no dice, voice mail. he sends a text back that i cant read while driving. only person i know that loves cats as much as me right know is jzilla, i call him but no answer. he must be with his boyfriend i think. i remember my ifriends were supposed to text me during the day, but i got only one from kraft. maybe someone wouldve said dont walk cat you moron. pretty excited to hit SC and set my sights on south of teh border, thats nc and i'll feel like i'm home. when i hit sc i get thru jasper county. that's my dog name, no not county. i see an advertisement for jasper's porch restaurant. i distract myself and try not to see the damage, cause i just dont want to know i have to stop. i have enough gas to get to woman's house i know. i remove towel in nc and its soaked thru, bleeding has subsided, slow trickle, but now my calf is seizing up badly. i turn to curse at cat in back and slap carrier. i scream, you better like your ####### life cause you used 8 of them back there. then i hear "meow, meow". cat is alive, i feel good and bad, in a way was hoping i strangled that piece of ####. i can feel like the muscle or nerve has an issue. praying its just the swelling. i get to 40 and feel that i'm close. drop off pets by 6.45 and head to rdu to get my car and drop off rental. the woman i drop off pets with lives in a sty. i pull up and think house is abondoned. i guess this is your life with 5 animals. i am disgusted but more concerned that i cant walk, am covered in blood still and so is the cat's carrier. slob woman doesnt seem to notice, i make idle chit chat and leave.
fill up at airport drop of rental. get car and head home, wife calls and i tell her 8pm. she spent the day cooking eggplant meatlessballs with homemade sauce and i am pretty excited. when i get home i limp in and she doesnt notice at first, then sees the blood. "what the hell happened?" i tell her i got attacked in brunswick.
what happened? the car, the dog? i said try again........was there another animal with me? the ####### cat? yup. she curses at my mother and blames her, as do i. if she wouldve taken responsibility, i wouldnt be here. i tell my wife about cat and she says she wouldve killed it. i said, would you? she is unsure. i just didnt want to disappoint her and tell her i killed the cat or i lost it. i told her that obviously cats dont like to be walked. i think she realized this, but neither of us imagined this. she helps me upstairs and cleans me off with peroxide. the burn and cooking is palpable. my left leg is bad, i try for shower but cant clean off soaked blood. peroxide again. says we need to go to hospital. my fingers are little sausages, think about the hands of a fat woman, only purple. i tape and bandage. the blood comes off my leg, we are concerned about damage to leg and tattoo. i can clearly see 8 punctures. have 8 finger holes. i tell my wife, lets eat, then i'll decide. i dont feel good, but cant pass the meal. i wrap leg in ace bandage to help with calf and pass out in bed. i tell her about the whole trip and she is upset with everything, including my friend's behavior in west palm. my buddy never once called or texted me to see how my trip was going or if i made it. weird, very. i decide to wait for sunday/monday on course of action. i dont feel so bad, my fingers dont work at all, i have them taped with that white gauze tape. it helps with the pain. my leg is spasmed pretty badly, i have an ace on and have been icing all wounds. no way i am spending a sunday in the ER. i will spend a workday figuring this out. i will update tomorrow, i assume i need a doctor visit for tetanus, maybe an antibiotic for infection? will post tomorrow night, i am going to my doctor tomorrow for sure. grand total: 4 bites and scratches to right shin. 4 bites and scratches to left shin. 8 left calf punctures. 3 fingers bitten thru. not sure if its one bite thru the finger or from both sides. scratches to left arm and shoulder from when the cat took me down. slight ankle sprain on right side.
thoughts and prayers are requested.
woke up friday AM at 6am, early for me cause i am travelling into work with wife. leaving early, i am, to catch 8pm flight one way to miami. my mom has become ill, which has effected her ability to not be a moron and #######. i have been paying for her pets to be boarded for 8 weeks and i finally gave up hope she would be able to accept responsibility for them again. my wife found a taker for them at her job, no small task given the advanced age of the animals, one dog and one cat. problem is, i need to transport the pets from st. lucie to raleigh. i am not flying with 2 animals and cargo not an option due to heat. 1000- to hire someone to drive them, so i need to find some schmuck to drive them. sadly, that schmuck is me.
i had thought about euthanasia, but couldnt find anyone that would put my mom down for me. so, plan is to fly one way, rent car for drive back on saturday, some 700 miles. got a buddy in west palm and i can crash at his house for 6 hours, saving me hotel. cant stay at mom's place, it reeks of urine, both animal and human. arrive miami around 10pm, sit on tarmac waiting for gate. pretty excited i didnt die in air crash (i hate flying). looking forward to my rental. avis ran out of smaller cars and offered me a cadillac or similar for only 10- more. unlimited miles and car is under 200-, not bad. miami airport blows. luckily i boned up on my spanish and swahili and made it rental car office. gotta take bus off site to 4th deck in miami, then walk 2 levels down, then walk thru lot to avis. car in 24b and i walk up to vehicle. doesnt look like a caddy, obviously a hyundai genesis is not quite a caddy. pretty annoyed, but a car is a car and i have over an hour to west palm. car is like flying a plane, so many things lit and buttons and knobs i cant figure anything out. finally find xm satellite and get octane going.
make it to friend at 11.45. i have known him 32 years, we went to college where he met his wife and i met her there. he was best man at my wedding. havent seen him in 4 years and once in 10-15 years. he has 3 kids now 14-12-5. no one is awake, just friend who lets me in. i thought wife would be up to say hi, maybe kids to greet their dad's oldest friend. nope. i found this odd. i notice house is 80 degrees inside. we bull#### a bit, about nonsense, he makes me feel old i think to myself. i would have my kids and wife awake, at least for a greeting. have restless 4 hours of sleep, soaked in sweat, my complete number one pet peeve. wife send me text at 6.15 am to get up. i am ####ed cause i know i havent slept. buddy says text when i get up in morning. i sent 2 pet crates to his house on friday and he set them up for me with his kids. buddy wakes up and i am ready in 15 minutes. no coffee ready, no water offer, nothing to eat, no one else up. he walks me to car and wishes me well. was an odd stay, prolly the last time i see/talk to him.
drive to st lucie, need to raid mom's place for supplies for woman taking pets. grab litter, food, etc. place reeks, but i'm in and out. now off to pet watcher to grab animals. wanted to be on road by 8-8.30am, but i am a bit behind. get to woman's house, which is a sty from housing animals. i bring in crates, she gets cat and dog in their crates easily, i bring to car, thank her and think i cant believe i paid this woman close to 1600-. gas up, hit the turnpike and look for 95 crossover. on the road around 8.45-9am. i realize i missed the easy crossover and wind up needing to take 60 east to catch 95 north. costs me 15-20 minutes, stupid mistake, but i only have time. thinking i can get to raleigh around 6-6.30. some random meows and dog snorts, but they settle in. octane pretty cool, talk to wife for a bit here and there and give her updates when i hit daytona, after jax (mmmmm jax) and when i get into ga. got about a 1/4 tank of gas its about 12.45 and i am near brunswick georgia. good time to stop, grab a bite and a drink, since i havent had anything since dinner friday. i dont want to drink too much in car so i dont need to stop to pee. maybe i'll hit mcdonalds for a frappe, grab some fries and some gas. also, need to walk dog and walk cat. wife reminded me to walk cat when i told her i would stop. she has never owned a cat, i have had multiple growing up. i never walked my cat. i've seen people put a cat on a leash and how hard can this be? you can see where i am going...... i said to myself, myself i said, maybe we just leave cat alone. get off exit see starbucks. better for me, i grab an iced coffee and stale plain bagel, hit bathroom, wash up. head back to car. nice little grassy knoll for cat and dog i think. dog has harness on, he's a little pug. likes his walk, no poo, but he pees and sniffs and seems happy to have a forever home in his sights. he doesnt want to go back in crate and i figure he can stay in back on seat. no biggie, my dog does this. i put him in back and he proceeds to crawl forward to driver seat. i laugh. that would be my last laugh for a bit. cat in backseat. i brought a slip knot leash that they use on dogs in kennel for cat. will slip on leash and give cat a pee break. take out 11- carrier that is as cheap as can be. put carrier on grass open latch, slip on leash and out comes cat. then its hell on earth. cat freaks completely out. a margot kidder type freakout. cat is 12 pounds and might be declawed. no matter, its freaking the hell out, trying to escape, flailing, meowing, choking itself, getting scared. me too. i cant let this cat, i could care less, but cant disappoint my ungreatful ####### of a mom and dont want to tell wife, honey, i lost the cat in brunswick georgia. so i am hanging on for dear life in a death struggle. i realize back door of car is open and dog is still inside, thank god cant have him escape. i try to close door and grab cat to get back in carrier. cat freaks and bites into my middle and ring finger so severely that blood spurts upwards. i am in bad shape fast. this is happening fast, but in slow motion. blood pouring over me. i freaked a bit at the pain and must've knocked into the carrier, cause the handle is off and worse, the door comes off. now i'm dead. i cant one handedly manage. i look up at starbucks embarrassed and hopeful someone would help. no luck, pretty isolated spot. so, i try to protect hand and use feet and legs to guide cat to carrier and close door with other knee. i am worried for my right ankle, cause i am recently removed from a bad fall where i tore meniscus in knee and suffered an ankle multi fracture with high ankle sprain, sort of mid calf. the ankle has been sore lately. i cant get hurt again i think. dont get twisted. i use right leg to shuffle cat forward and try to get door with left leg while cat is flailing, cat gets tangled up behind me and as i go for door i feel a gun shot to my back left leg. its not a gun, the cat leaped at my leg and sunk its teeth into me to the point i cant get it off. i get car door closed, but i go down to the ground in a heap from the pain. its bad, my left calf muscle feels like its been punctured and i feel the cold blood. as i go down i know i am taking cat with me, cause this is life and death. i go down hard to the left and hurl cat at the ground, holding onto leash. the thought passes me to just kill it. i cant. i dont care, but cant kill it. it hits the ground with me. we are both sprawled out in the same position, on our backs, tongues hanging out eyes rolled back. i get up first and cat is surely being choked to death but i dont dare try for choker removal in my condition. i look at cat and it moves and lets out a please just kill me meow. its alive and wounded and this is my shot to try to get it into carrier. i grab carrier and slide door to me on the floor. i try to scoop cat in with left hand and it takes my pointer into its mouth with such ferocity that i am certain my finger is in its stomach. but i have no choice here, this is my one shot. with cat wedged to finger i get it into carrier and turn the carrier to go up and down so cat falls to bottom. i see the dog in car in back. cat goes to bottom, releases finger i get the door on and somehow manage to remove choker, but i just know the cat is dead. why would it let me remove choker if it wasnt dead i think. i get cat in backseat. car closed and then i turn to myself. its bad and i think i am in shock, mental and physical. i have at least 6 puncture wounds in back leg and blood free flowing. 3 fingers are shredded badly. i had a towel in car and wipe off blood as best i can and head back to starbucks. dont think they noticed my issue so i non chalantly head to bathroom. i try to cleanup as best i can with lots of soap and water and paper towels. no towels, they have an air thing. i go to counter and calmly ask for a band aid or 2. girl in corner is looking at my leg and looks horrified, i can tell. i feel the blood. they give me 3 bandaids. i have at least 20 wounds all bleeding. i leave the shins. i go finger on left, one finger on right and back of leg. i leave and head to car. told my wife i'd call after i got back on road. wtf do i say? i still need gas, am driving with leg wrapped in towel and my fingers burn me so badly and are so badly swollen that i think i may need to drive to hospital. my fingers look like something i cant describe, instantly purple with huge bump welts. i get to gas station. dog is on front on floor of passenger side, he seems happy. cat in back, i wont look. 50/50. if its dead, whats my story? i get gas and hit the road.
pain and burning are severe, i am going to drive home and hope and focus. i am in bad shape and really not capable of driving. i am sweating badly like i just got tattooed, not like its hot. gotta be my nerves. hope to god its not anything severe. i have 5-6 hours left, how the #### am i going to make it? i call wife and decide i cant let her know and get her worried. so its business as usual, having fun, all is well. the next 2 hours see the burning subside, replaced by pain. i can drive barely, but my hands are bad, but i find comfortable way to hold wheel. kraft sends me a text and i call tre to tell him this story and see if he wants to trade for mike cuddler. no dice, voice mail. he sends a text back that i cant read while driving. only person i know that loves cats as much as me right know is jzilla, i call him but no answer. he must be with his boyfriend i think. i remember my ifriends were supposed to text me during the day, but i got only one from kraft. maybe someone wouldve said dont walk cat you moron. pretty excited to hit SC and set my sights on south of teh border, thats nc and i'll feel like i'm home. when i hit sc i get thru jasper county. that's my dog name, no not county. i see an advertisement for jasper's porch restaurant. i distract myself and try not to see the damage, cause i just dont want to know i have to stop. i have enough gas to get to woman's house i know. i remove towel in nc and its soaked thru, bleeding has subsided, slow trickle, but now my calf is seizing up badly. i turn to curse at cat in back and slap carrier. i scream, you better like your ####### life cause you used 8 of them back there. then i hear "meow, meow". cat is alive, i feel good and bad, in a way was hoping i strangled that piece of ####. i can feel like the muscle or nerve has an issue. praying its just the swelling. i get to 40 and feel that i'm close. drop off pets by 6.45 and head to rdu to get my car and drop off rental. the woman i drop off pets with lives in a sty. i pull up and think house is abondoned. i guess this is your life with 5 animals. i am disgusted but more concerned that i cant walk, am covered in blood still and so is the cat's carrier. slob woman doesnt seem to notice, i make idle chit chat and leave.
fill up at airport drop of rental. get car and head home, wife calls and i tell her 8pm. she spent the day cooking eggplant meatlessballs with homemade sauce and i am pretty excited. when i get home i limp in and she doesnt notice at first, then sees the blood. "what the hell happened?" i tell her i got attacked in brunswick.
what happened? the car, the dog? i said try again........was there another animal with me? the ####### cat? yup. she curses at my mother and blames her, as do i. if she wouldve taken responsibility, i wouldnt be here. i tell my wife about cat and she says she wouldve killed it. i said, would you? she is unsure. i just didnt want to disappoint her and tell her i killed the cat or i lost it. i told her that obviously cats dont like to be walked. i think she realized this, but neither of us imagined this. she helps me upstairs and cleans me off with peroxide. the burn and cooking is palpable. my left leg is bad, i try for shower but cant clean off soaked blood. peroxide again. says we need to go to hospital. my fingers are little sausages, think about the hands of a fat woman, only purple. i tape and bandage. the blood comes off my leg, we are concerned about damage to leg and tattoo. i can clearly see 8 punctures. have 8 finger holes. i tell my wife, lets eat, then i'll decide. i dont feel good, but cant pass the meal. i wrap leg in ace bandage to help with calf and pass out in bed. i tell her about the whole trip and she is upset with everything, including my friend's behavior in west palm. my buddy never once called or texted me to see how my trip was going or if i made it. weird, very. i decide to wait for sunday/monday on course of action. i dont feel so bad, my fingers dont work at all, i have them taped with that white gauze tape. it helps with the pain. my leg is spasmed pretty badly, i have an ace on and have been icing all wounds. no way i am spending a sunday in the ER. i will spend a workday figuring this out. i will update tomorrow, i assume i need a doctor visit for tetanus, maybe an antibiotic for infection? will post tomorrow night, i am going to my doctor tomorrow for sure. grand total: 4 bites and scratches to right shin. 4 bites and scratches to left shin. 8 left calf punctures. 3 fingers bitten thru. not sure if its one bite thru the finger or from both sides. scratches to left arm and shoulder from when the cat took me down. slight ankle sprain on right side.
thoughts and prayers are requested.
Last edited by a moderator:
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Paragraphs, man.
Sorry. I read about a fifth of that before realizing I'd need a fifth to finish the rest.
Sounds like you're going through a rough patch in life and I wish you the best.
Sorry. I read about a fifth of that before realizing I'd need a fifth to finish the rest.
Sounds like you're going through a rough patch in life and I wish you the best.
Last edited by a moderator:
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Soo much easier to read now. 
Now I sort of wish I hadn't read the story. :( Brutal stuff. Best wishes your way.
Now I sort of wish I hadn't read the story. :( Brutal stuff. Best wishes your way.
JaxBill
Footballguy
Lost a friend late last week. Guy was a former FF league owner and worked at my company up until about a month ago. Forty years old, married with a 2-year-old-son and another on the way.
Really nice guy, always smiling. Originally from Newfoundland, he was one of the few guys at work I could talk hockey with.
He was killed in a 1-car crash last Thursday evening (YSR, it was the one on Nocatee PKWY).
Sorry to pull a Posty. Just give your kids an extra hug tonight.
Really nice guy, always smiling. Originally from Newfoundland, he was one of the few guys at work I could talk hockey with.
He was killed in a 1-car crash last Thursday evening (YSR, it was the one on Nocatee PKWY).
Sorry to pull a Posty. Just give your kids an extra hug tonight.
YSR
Footballguy
I know that intersection well. Really sorry to hear about your friend, JB.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I met some neighbirs tonight for the first time absolutly wasted. Yeah that went well.
General Malaise
Footballguy
One of us, probably Gadzooks, will incorporate tail shtick at some point.
General Malaise
Footballguy
"To Tigerfan...he sure liked to draft things."'Tiger Fan said:
General Malaise
Footballguy
'McJose said:
There's maybe 37 non-Blazer playing black people in the state of Oregon and I'm right certain I've seen 87% of them fishing in the artificial lakes, ponds, sloughs or by-ways in the area. I'll start honking at them.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Had a few beers this weekend with the guy who worked the BCS game this year as the side judge. Back in the day he kicked a 52 yard FG at our high school, and his dad (Stan Kemp - my father's insurance agent) was a NFL ref, worked several Super Bowl games. Anyway, Alex was the guy who didn't blow his whistle when Dyer had that 37 yard run. It was the right call, but man I thought for sure in real time that he blew it.
He's been working as a ref since 1996. High school for five years, then another five at MIAA and Div III, a year in the MAC, and in the Big Ten since 2007. He got to work the BCS game because he graded out as the best Side Judge in the Big Ten last year, and it just happened to be their turn to work the championship game. Great guy. Will probably move up to the NFL at some point (he's about 37 now).
His dad was a super nice guy. When he got sick and had to retire (Lou Gehrig's disease), the guy who got promoted to replace him as ref/crew chief was Ed Hochuli.
He's been working as a ref since 1996. High school for five years, then another five at MIAA and Div III, a year in the MAC, and in the Big Ten since 2007. He got to work the BCS game because he graded out as the best Side Judge in the Big Ten last year, and it just happened to be their turn to work the championship game. Great guy. Will probably move up to the NFL at some point (he's about 37 now).
His dad was a super nice guy. When he got sick and had to retire (Lou Gehrig's disease), the guy who got promoted to replace him as ref/crew chief was Ed Hochuli.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Holy cow, X...unreal. I didn't know you had that in you, frankly.
Sorry about your loss, JB. And yours too Bobby Lane. And glad Jeep's buddy is better. And if I missed any well wishes or condolences, please accept them from me now.
Sorry about your loss, JB. And yours too Bobby Lane. And glad Jeep's buddy is better. And if I missed any well wishes or condolences, please accept them from me now.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
It's not a problem when you win.'bentley said:
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Condolences to all. It seems like this happens very so often in this thread, just a bad run of bad luck.
YSR
Footballguy
Saw this movie tonight. Really thought it was going to be cheesed up much more than it was. It's probably not cool enough for the likes of this thread, but I really enjoyed it.That is a GREAT spot, seriously doesn't get better, and not just on Kauai. Haena's killer and Tunnels is probly the nicest beach there (or Ke'e), which is saying something. Good snorkeling right out front this time of year with lots of turtles. Speaking of which, it's also where Bethany survived that tiger shark attack (they just did some movie about), losing an arm. Also the best trail (Kalalau) you'll probly ever get to hike nearby on the Na Pali coast.Excellent airfare too, what are you thinking??? F your mom.
"To Tigerfan...he sure liked to draft things."'Tiger Fan said:
Any Star Wars or GI Joe nerds here? Been going though some old boxes of stuff in my parent's attic and found a whole bunch of my brother's toys old SW/GIJ stuff. I told him I'd try to look them up online to see if they were worth anything. Problem is, I hated Star Wars and GI Joe; so I don't have any reference on how to look any of this up. I figured someone here can help. Once I get them all sorted, I'll post some pics; but in the meantime if anyone can give me any guidance I'd appreciate it.
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Oh brother
Similar threads
