General Malaise
Footballguy
I'd like to go camping with you, Dan. Also, when I go camping with my buddies, there's every bit as much booze going into the liver as there is in Vegas.
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
GM's thread about nothing (45 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
General Malaise
Footballguy
Do you like pounding rain, high winds, low levels of intelligence and crab?
Lieutenant Dan
Footballguy
Yeah, same here on the alcohol. It's just a lot cheaper than a trip to Vegas and there are less chances of getting in any trouble of the adulterous kind.and you can coming camping with us anytime you want. If we go rafting, we can partake in homemade moonshine and hash.
Tribulation
Footballguy
General Malaise
Footballguy
Worst he can say is 'no'....which i'm sure you've gotten used to hearing.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Rafting is a trip. I am down!
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
HEYOHHH!Worst he can say is 'no'....which i'm sure you've gotten used to hearing.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Just wanted to see what it felt like to be a midwesterner.HEYOHHH!Worst he can say is 'no'....which i'm sure you've gotten used to hearing.
Lieutenant Dan
Footballguy
just got a text from meka. she says I have to start providin for j or she's gtakn legal action. She havnt hassle me for nun. She gave me another chnce and I'm blown. 
Samuel L Bronkowitz
Footballguy
Man, I love happy endings.And also how this story turned out.A GB of mine married a controlling B of a woman. Have been together for 7 years now and he completely changed. He became a servant in many ways. It got so bad that at one point recently that she asked him "When the hell are you going to start making some real money so I don't have to work?" He probably pulls in ~$75K or so. She makes $12/hr working part time.
He recently snapped and went looking for some strange. They are now in the beginning stages of divorce.
![[icon]](/data/avatars/m/5/5167.jpg?1660313464){kind=avatar}
[icon]
Insoxicated
Confirmed: fuller is a fun guy to pound beers with.
Lieutenant Dan
Footballguy
and eat tamales and ribs with
GMTAN cornhole plans:
1. Gambling in Vegas
2. Fishing in Oregon
3. Camping with Fuller
1. Gambling in Vegas
2. Fishing in Oregon
3. Camping with Fuller
Bogart
Footballguy
Good ####### point.Worst he can say is 'no'....which i'm sure you've gotten used to hearing.
Lieutenant Dan
Footballguy
good lord, this #### has gone downhillTanner has to come so he can see the "magical" river that dries up every night.
Last edited by a moderator:
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Let me just put it this way, she isn't as stupid as I look.
Yep.This GB is nicest guy I've ever met and also probably the biggest at 6'7 230(?), probably not a coincidence. They were over for dinner a few years ago when my wife asked my something-something and I gave her a typical smart #### response. This chick started to lay end to me before she realized she was talking to me and not her husband. She looked like she saw a ghost, it was pretty awesome.I definitely find myself pushing back, establishing boundaries. The most fun part is giving such a woman shiite in front of the guy, in an outwardly good natured way with a big smile on my face of course. It's kind of like, "I can get away with this and you (guy) can't, and you (woman) really don't know WTF to do with me to respond right now." Of course, I know that he'll end up paying for it, but if done in moderation it's not too bad.You met her.I admit I kind of get off on purposely acting the alpha male around her. On that trip, (for the rest of the GMTAN my GB wasn't with us)and I didn't even bring it up, she blurted out "I don't know if I should go to a strip club with you". God I love booze.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
It's not even a real river.Rafting is a trip. I am down!
El Floppo
Footballguy
Berkley... right. Her. She was not all that in person, especially out at an "in" NYC hot-spot where there were (and I assume still are) tons of unbelievably hot chicks roaming around.Speaking of- at one point while I'm holding an interior monologue in the midst of those actors and their buddies (whihc was incredibly interesting and entertaining and would have made me hugely popular if spoken out loud), I look up and see literally a solid wall of hot girls standing to the side and wrapped around our table... all looking at me. I scan the line looking for one that looks particularly right for me, and try to make eye contact- how YOU doin'... then I quickly realize they're all looking through me at Kilmer who is sporting doofus sunglasses inside the club at 3am.
oh.. and pee-wee! a week or so later, I end up at a dinner table with him and a small group... this time almost all my friends, so I got to actually speak! Seemed like a nice-enough guy, but more importantly described a side-business of his after his Porky's acting days- he created the cut-off sweatshirt brand, Camp Beverly Hills. Now- let me just tell you- Sophomore HS English class has a central aisle splitting the students down the middle in two. A girl I'll call Hotty Fox transfers in and sits opposite my side... and soon every guy in class's side. She would wear one of those Camp Beverly Hills numbers cut off just below the boobs and constantly strectch her hands up, shirt raising every so slowly to reveal sub-boob, shadow of boob, and then almost... almost... ####### boob. We read books and stuff in there I'm sure... but the only literature I remember from that year is Camp Beverly Hills. When I found out Pee Wee was responsible, I got up walked around the table, leaned down and hugged him hard while he finished his appetizer.
Oh again- also at the table sitting next to me was that Victoria's Secret model Frederique. Ended up talking to her all night- surprisingly intelligent, interesting, knowledgable and very warm/approachable. I went with her to a friend of her's party after dinner with another gb where we continued talking to eachother exclusively (the people at the party were trying to figure out who the shmoes with Frederique were). When she hit the bathroom, my friend and I started punching eachother trying to figure out what one of our next play was... he seemed to think I had the best shot, as she seemed interested in architecture. So I decided to play it cool, and not push anything until she asked us to walk her home (Nolita). At her door, I made some :cough: :cough: would like to see you again suggestions which she very nicely shot down with a couple of comments about shooting a movie (Woody Allen or Wild West) and being out of town. I found out the next day that she was going out with Mark Messier. I'd dump my wife and two kids for her right freaking now. The end.
Tribulation
Footballguy
I'm shocked, shocked that Frederique does not get her philosophy and architecture fix from her time spent with Mark Messier!
Last edited by a moderator:
dharmapunk
Footballguy
Wow. Just wow.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Tribulation
Footballguy
Yeah, but it's shaped like California. That's like drawing a picture of a dog and labeling it, "Flea".
Lieutenant Dan
Footballguy
It's not even a real river.Rafting is a trip. I am down!
Guster
Footballguy
That's a meaty thigh
-fish-
Footballguy
does the other side say "Baker"?
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
And I'm betting that's bat country to the north.
-fish-
Footballguy
krista4
Footballguy
####.
I only read three threads here at this point: this one, recently viewed movies, and whatever the latest timdraft is (I enjoy them and like tim just fine--what can I say). So I have a honest-to-baby-jeebus work quandary (more so than last week), and this seems a more appropriate place than the other two threads to post it. Besides, the average IQ in here is higher and I actually received helpful advice last week.
My boss proposed to me today that he is going to reorganize our department. Not a surprise as I knew he'd been considering it. What was a surprise is that he wants to move an entire other group (two lawyers and four paralegals) under me. This group does a bunch of stuff that is outside my area of expertise (intellectual property, marketing, sourcing), but generally I don't mind that as I like new challenges and to learn new things. It will be a huge amount of extra work, more than doubling my number of direct reports, but would involve a job title change/promotion, more money, etc. It also sets me up as the more obvious successor to him, though I already know anyway that I'm the only person he's identified as a successor. Of course, that part doesn't matter as we implement EarlyRetirement2013. In any case, he knows very well that I like extra responsibility, and I don't really have much choice but to agree.
The problem arises that the person currently running the group, who would now report to me, is right now a direct peer/equal of mine. So he would be getting a demotion. Making it even more fun is that my boss tells me that the person (let's call him "Zack Morris") is "not going to make it" in terms of the company, or at least he doesn't think Zack will. In other words, Zack is about to go on a Performance Improvement Plan, which is the first step to being fired.
So the boss wants to know what my recommendation is in terms of whether he should go ahead and fire Zack so that I can get a new person in place and I don't have to take on "his problem" (he freely admits that would be what is happening), or whether I should take Zack on for a time to give him (my boss) additional verification that his thoughts on Zack are correct and that his performance is not going to improve, or possibly to see if I could have more luck with him. If he's going PIP/firing now, there's a timing issue as my boss wants to announce his new plans soon, and our PIPs require a 68-day period for improvement or some such.
So...I can say I'll take this guy on, but (1) not only am I taking on a whole new group and working them into my group, overseeing a million initiatives with this new group for which we will not have appropriate staffing, hiring a new lawyer who starts in December, and handling our IPO next year, all in addition to my regular job, but I have to try to get someone's performance up to par after they've been a lawyer and developed bad habits for 30 years, and (2) if I am unsuccessful, the blood ends up on my hands, it looks like I'm the one who ousts him, and I'm the one who has to have that difficult conversation. OR, I recommend that one of my colleagues be fired.
Oh, and did I mention that Zack is by far my best friend in the whole department?
Holy crap.
My boss has generously given me 48 hours to come back to him with all of my coherent and cohesive thoughts on the subject.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
And because I feel guilty about bringing this thread down when it had been very entertaining today, I hereby offer you this incredibly embarrassing and cringe-worthy version of my white-man's overbite dance from the late 90s.
I only read three threads here at this point: this one, recently viewed movies, and whatever the latest timdraft is (I enjoy them and like tim just fine--what can I say). So I have a honest-to-baby-jeebus work quandary (more so than last week), and this seems a more appropriate place than the other two threads to post it. Besides, the average IQ in here is higher and I actually received helpful advice last week.
My boss proposed to me today that he is going to reorganize our department. Not a surprise as I knew he'd been considering it. What was a surprise is that he wants to move an entire other group (two lawyers and four paralegals) under me. This group does a bunch of stuff that is outside my area of expertise (intellectual property, marketing, sourcing), but generally I don't mind that as I like new challenges and to learn new things. It will be a huge amount of extra work, more than doubling my number of direct reports, but would involve a job title change/promotion, more money, etc. It also sets me up as the more obvious successor to him, though I already know anyway that I'm the only person he's identified as a successor. Of course, that part doesn't matter as we implement EarlyRetirement2013. In any case, he knows very well that I like extra responsibility, and I don't really have much choice but to agree.
The problem arises that the person currently running the group, who would now report to me, is right now a direct peer/equal of mine. So he would be getting a demotion. Making it even more fun is that my boss tells me that the person (let's call him "Zack Morris") is "not going to make it" in terms of the company, or at least he doesn't think Zack will. In other words, Zack is about to go on a Performance Improvement Plan, which is the first step to being fired.
So the boss wants to know what my recommendation is in terms of whether he should go ahead and fire Zack so that I can get a new person in place and I don't have to take on "his problem" (he freely admits that would be what is happening), or whether I should take Zack on for a time to give him (my boss) additional verification that his thoughts on Zack are correct and that his performance is not going to improve, or possibly to see if I could have more luck with him. If he's going PIP/firing now, there's a timing issue as my boss wants to announce his new plans soon, and our PIPs require a 68-day period for improvement or some such.
So...I can say I'll take this guy on, but (1) not only am I taking on a whole new group and working them into my group, overseeing a million initiatives with this new group for which we will not have appropriate staffing, hiring a new lawyer who starts in December, and handling our IPO next year, all in addition to my regular job, but I have to try to get someone's performance up to par after they've been a lawyer and developed bad habits for 30 years, and (2) if I am unsuccessful, the blood ends up on my hands, it looks like I'm the one who ousts him, and I'm the one who has to have that difficult conversation. OR, I recommend that one of my colleagues be fired.
Oh, and did I mention that Zack is by far my best friend in the whole department?
Holy crap.
My boss has generously given me 48 hours to come back to him with all of my coherent and cohesive thoughts on the subject.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
And because I feel guilty about bringing this thread down when it had been very entertaining today, I hereby offer you this incredibly embarrassing and cringe-worthy version of my white-man's overbite dance from the late 90s.
Becky the Duck down?
Dungeon Master
Footballguy
If I know anything about Zack Morris, it's that he always thrives when the pressure is on. Sure, he slacked his way through high school chasing girls and coming up with a myriad of schemes, but when push came to shove he nailed his SATs with a score of 1502 and scored admission to Yale. Also, if you remember, when Benson became an ethics professor at Cal U he tested his students by leaving a copy of the test where they could find it and then talked about who cheated afterwards as a way to jump start the ethics conversation. Slater cheated. Kelly cheated. Alex cheated. Leslie cheated. Zack? Nope. He always comes through in the end. And since he's your friend, maybe you can help him out like he helped out Slater when his dad wanted him to join the army. Would it work to have the PIP go into affect, but then have you over him while the evaluation period was going on? Is that something you'd want to do? I know some people don't really even realize their job performance has been subpar, and sometimes all you need is a PIP and/or a change of supervisor and they can thrive.
Dungeon Master
Footballguy
Kevin the Robot needs to be in there too. And that fat chick from The Attic.
krista4
Footballguy
Might be my favorite post ever. Had me practically doubled over in laughter and then ended with some really solid advice.
It's not ideal in that I'd be overseeing someone on a PIP while taking on a huge amount of other new stuff, and if it doesn't work I'm still the one to have "the talk", but might be a good middle ground anyway. There is some non-zero chance that my boss hasn't done a great job of indicating that he's been subpar, as you mention. And I do know of at least one other person who's been on a PIP in our department and had a change in supervisor that completely turned it around. Of course, I know of more who haven't and were fired. :( But I might be leaning toward this idea right now.
Last edited by a moderator:
If he finds out that he's on the PIP, then "the talk" probably becomes much easier as he already knows he's on the way out to a certain extent. Also, perhaps he decides the current position isn't the right fit or whatever and starts looking for other opportunities but at least he gets that option without being summarily fired.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Are we going to let "lay end to me" slide?
krista4
Footballguy
Thanks. Yes, I'm actually hoping for the latter to happen. He moved here from Chicago 2+ years ago and his family hasn't moved down, so it would in many ways be better for him to go back if possible.
Tribulation
Footballguy
First of all, congrats on the promotion. Second, I'd have your boss do the dirty work here. The guy's a dead man walking. All of that predates you. Your boss shouldn't be putting you in the position of having to axe this guy. Six months out, ok, but not at the outset.####.
I only read three threads here at this point: this one, recently viewed movies, and whatever the latest timdraft is (I enjoy them and like tim just fine--what can I say). So I have a honest-to-baby-jeebus work quandary (more so than last week), and this seems a more appropriate place than the other two threads to post it. Besides, the average IQ in here is higher and I actually received helpful advice last week.
My boss proposed to me today that he is going to reorganize our department. Not a surprise as I knew he'd been considering it. What was a surprise is that he wants to move an entire other group (two lawyers and four paralegals) under me. This group does a bunch of stuff that is outside my area of expertise (intellectual property, marketing, sourcing), but generally I don't mind that as I like new challenges and to learn new things. It will be a huge amount of extra work, more than doubling my number of direct reports, but would involve a job title change/promotion, more money, etc. It also sets me up as the more obvious successor to him, though I already know anyway that I'm the only person he's identified as a successor. Of course, that part doesn't matter as we implement EarlyRetirement2013. In any case, he knows very well that I like extra responsibility, and I don't really have much choice but to agree.
The problem arises that the person currently running the group, who would now report to me, is right now a direct peer/equal of mine. So he would be getting a demotion. Making it even more fun is that my boss tells me that the person (let's call him "Zack Morris") is "not going to make it" in terms of the company, or at least he doesn't think Zack will. In other words, Zack is about to go on a Performance Improvement Plan, which is the first step to being fired.
So the boss wants to know what my recommendation is in terms of whether he should go ahead and fire Zack so that I can get a new person in place and I don't have to take on "his problem" (he freely admits that would be what is happening), or whether I should take Zack on for a time to give him (my boss) additional verification that his thoughts on Zack are correct and that his performance is not going to improve, or possibly to see if I could have more luck with him. If he's going PIP/firing now, there's a timing issue as my boss wants to announce his new plans soon, and our PIPs require a 68-day period for improvement or some such.
So...I can say I'll take this guy on, but (1) not only am I taking on a whole new group and working them into my group, overseeing a million initiatives with this new group for which we will not have appropriate staffing, hiring a new lawyer who starts in December, and handling our IPO next year, all in addition to my regular job, but I have to try to get someone's performance up to par after they've been a lawyer and developed bad habits for 30 years, and (2) if I am unsuccessful, the blood ends up on my hands, it looks like I'm the one who ousts him, and I'm the one who has to have that difficult conversation. OR, I recommend that one of my colleagues be fired.
Oh, and did I mention that Zack is by far my best friend in the whole department?
Holy crap.
My boss has generously given me 48 hours to come back to him with all of my coherent and cohesive thoughts on the subject.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
And because I feel guilty about bringing this thread down when it had been very entertaining today, I hereby offer you this incredibly embarrassing and cringe-worthy version of my white-man's overbite dance from the late 90s.
Either suggest that he be terminated outright, perhaps with a severance package that makes it more palatable, or suggest that he be put onto a PIP regimen right now, before your promotion is announced, and have Zack reporting directly to your boss as part of and during the duration of the PIP.
Tell your boss that you're willing to do all of this, but you personally like the guy and this is will a pretty big and distracting burden to place upon you while you're stepping into much bigger shoes and beginning to oversee departments you don't even really know.
You have the luxury of being liked and respected by your boss, so I don't suspect this will be seen as you wimping out so much as being realistic.
YSR
Footballguy
First off, kudos on the posting of the video.I have no real experience being in management, etc., but I'll try to tackle your scenarios with pros and cons:####.
I only read three threads here at this point: this one, recently viewed movies, and whatever the latest timdraft is (I enjoy them and like tim just fine--what can I say). So I have a honest-to-baby-jeebus work quandary (more so than last week), and this seems a more appropriate place than the other two threads to post it. Besides, the average IQ in here is higher and I actually received helpful advice last week.
My boss proposed to me today that he is going to reorganize our department. Not a surprise as I knew he'd been considering it. What was a surprise is that he wants to move an entire other group (two lawyers and four paralegals) under me. This group does a bunch of stuff that is outside my area of expertise (intellectual property, marketing, sourcing), but generally I don't mind that as I like new challenges and to learn new things. It will be a huge amount of extra work, more than doubling my number of direct reports, but would involve a job title change/promotion, more money, etc. It also sets me up as the more obvious successor to him, though I already know anyway that I'm the only person he's identified as a successor. Of course, that part doesn't matter as we implement EarlyRetirement2013. In any case, he knows very well that I like extra responsibility, and I don't really have much choice but to agree.
The problem arises that the person currently running the group, who would now report to me, is right now a direct peer/equal of mine. So he would be getting a demotion. Making it even more fun is that my boss tells me that the person (let's call him "Zack Morris") is "not going to make it" in terms of the company, or at least he doesn't think Zack will. In other words, Zack is about to go on a Performance Improvement Plan, which is the first step to being fired.
So the boss wants to know what my recommendation is in terms of (1) whether he should go ahead and fire Zack so that I can get a new person in place and I don't have to take on "his problem" (he freely admits that would be what is happening), or (2) whether I should take Zack on for a time to give him (my boss) additional verification that his thoughts on Zack are correct and that his performance is not going to improve, or possibly to see if I could have more luck with him. If he's going PIP/firing now, there's a timing issue as my boss wants to announce his new plans soon, and our PIPs require a 68-day period for improvement or some such.
So...I can say I'll take this guy on, but (1) not only am I taking on a whole new group and working them into my group, overseeing a million initiatives with this new group for which we will not have appropriate staffing, hiring a new lawyer who starts in December, and handling our IPO next year, all in addition to my regular job, but I have to try to get someone's performance up to par after they've been a lawyer and developed bad habits for 30 years, and (2) if I am unsuccessful, the blood ends up on my hands, it looks like I'm the one who ousts him, and I'm the one who has to have that difficult conversation. OR, I recommend that one of my colleagues be fired.
Oh, and did I mention that Zack is by far my best friend in the whole department?
And because I feel guilty about bringing this thread down when it had been very entertaining today, I hereby offer you this incredibly embarrassing and cringe-worthy version of my white-man's overbite dance from the late 90s.
(1) Have you seen the underachievement/poor performance that your boss is currently seeing? Or do you at least acknowledge what your boss is saying? If so, IYO is your friend/colleague able to correct it within the context of his job description/what is expected of him? This is where you have to be as unbiased as you can. At the end of the day, you know some things that may happen (your promotion) in the future and you need to be able to figure out if he fits in that picture.
Also, keep in mind the whole training someone new versus keeping someone who knows what they are doing thing... especially while you're taking on and learning a lot of new responsibilities.
(2) Same question: this Zach is your closest friend at work; have you seen the underachievement/poor performance that your boss is currently seeing? Or do you at least acknowledge what your boss is saying? If you have seen it, do you see yourself being able to help/correct/inspire him without any kind of blowup? Consider how upset he may be at the demotion coupled with the PIP....
Maybe the current boss gives the PIP and it's documented, so if it doesn't work out with him working for you, it's ultimately on your current boss.
Just spitballing. Good luck!
YSR
Footballguy
Also, fellas, I'm not getting divorced. In-laws have come by to help unpack two out of the last three nights, but I've successfully opted out of going to dinner both nights - with Mr. YSR completely backing me (although he went to dinner with them both nights).
On another note, they don't sell wine in the supermarkets here. This confuses me and I'm not quite sure what to do with it.
On another note, they don't sell wine in the supermarkets here. This confuses me and I'm not quite sure what to do with it.
better stock upLots of weird liquor laws depending on where you live. I think that was standard in New York. Only beer in grocery stores and you had to go to a liquor store to get wine or spirits.I hate places that won't even sell you cold beer. I think Indiana was like that.
Tribulation
Footballguy
California is almost worth the higher taxes given that you can buy liquor in certain pharmacies. Yes, pharmacies. And grocery stores, and liquor stores, and markets, and . . . The only thing we lack are Lousiana's drive through liquor stores.
Tecumseh
Footballguy
Dungeon Master
Footballguy
No alcohol in grocery stores or gas stations in Minnesota (other than 3.2 beer). Also no alcohol sales on Sundays. No craps either.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Sooooo hot.
krista4
Footballguy
Dealing with the more important topic first, one of the items on my anti-Memphis list is dealing with the stupid liquor laws here, which prevent alcohol from being sold in stores on Sundays and requires that anything but beer be sold at an entirely separate store that can sell only wine, spirits and large-sized beers, and NOTHING, not even mixers or cups or whatever, can be sold in those same stores. And don't try to get around it by going to Arkansas or Mississippi which have equally jacked-up laws.
Chicago sold in pharmacies, 7-11s and any damn other kind of store, too. And on freaking Sundays.
Chicago sold in pharmacies, 7-11s and any damn other kind of store, too. And on freaking Sundays.
GB Chi-town and bars that stay open until 4 or 5am.
krista4
Footballguy
I have an explanation, but it won't make a dent in how dorky that is, and I really needed to lighten the mood after my long post.Similar threads
