GM's thread about nothing (26 Viewers)

[Jethro Q. Walrustitty]

you can see Hermione's nip on Egotastic

Does she still look like a 14 year old boy?

 

[guest 54788]

you can see Hermione's nip on Egotastic

Does she still look like a 14 year old boy?

with little puffies

 

[Jethro Q. Walrustitty]

you can see Hermione's nip on Egotastic

Does she still look like a 14 year old boy?

with little puffies

Excellent.

 

[guest 54788]

you can see Hermione's nip on Egotastic

She has a Japanese servant?

with all that Harry Potter money, probably so

 

[General Malaise]

Having an online chat with sportsbook.com....

Me: "do you offer wagers on cricket"

Me: "I don't see it"

 

[General Malaise]

Having an online chat with sportsbook.com....Me: "do you offer wagers on cricket" Me: "I don't see it"

Copy/paste:

Hello, my name is Janet Bradley. I'll be assisting you today.You: Do you offer Cricket?You: I don't see it. Janet Bradley: Hello Forrest.Janet Bradley: Please allow me a few minutes while I retrieve and review your information.Janet Bradley: After checking the information I regret to inform you that we do not offer Cricket.You: oh, that's okay, I don't really know anything about it, so best if I don't play it. Just wondered it was availableJanet Bradley: Ah ok. Is there anything else I can help you today?You: no thanks

 

[RudiStein]

Reading articles at Cracked.com

6 Giant Blind Spots In Every Movie Alien's Invasion Plot.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_19025_6-gia...l#ixzz1DySO0tw8

#6: Wear Something.

Everyone makes fun of Signs because it depicts an alien invasion that is thwarted because the aliens die if they touch water. But that's not the issue. It's not their fault that water is like acid to them, but it is their fault that they showed up naked. You have intergalactic starships, but you don't have GD pants? How does a civilization's evolution just skip over that part?

 

[General Malaise]

Reading articles at Cracked.com

6 Giant Blind Spots In Every Movie Alien's Invasion Plot.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_19025_6-gia...l#ixzz1DySO0tw8

#6: Wear Something.

Everyone makes fun of Signs because it depicts an alien invasion that is thwarted because the aliens die if they touch water. But that's not the issue. It's not their fault that water is like acid to them, but it is their fault that they showed up naked. You have intergalactic starships, but you don't have GD pants? How does a civilization's evolution just skip over that part?

 

[urbanhack]

Having an online chat with sportsbook.com....Me: "do you offer wagers on cricket" Me: "I don't see it"

insider tip?

 

[RudiStein]

Reading articles at Cracked.com

6 Giant Blind Spots In Every Movie Alien's Invasion Plot.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_19025_6-gia...l#ixzz1DySO0tw8

#6: Wear Something.

Everyone makes fun of Signs because it depicts an alien invasion that is thwarted because the aliens die if they touch water. But that's not the issue. It's not their fault that water is like acid to them, but it is their fault that they showed up naked. You have intergalactic starships, but you don't have GD pants? How does a civilization's evolution just skip over that part?

Con't:It's like humans landing on a planet where 70 percent of the surface is covered in molten lava, and the inhabitants are basically just moving sacks of lava. Even the atmosphere is so dense with lava vapor that often lava just rains from the sky with little to no warning. So what's your plan of attack? If you say anything other than "Jump out of the spaceship completely naked, your junk proudly flopping about, and engage the lava monsters in hand-to-hand combat," then congratulations -- you are smarter than the aliens in Signs.

 

[General Malaise]

Having an online chat with sportsbook.com....Me: "do you offer wagers on cricket" Me: "I don't see it"

insider tip?

I work with an Indian fellow who was passing along his Cricket insight. I might need to reload my BetJam account.

 

[Sarnoff]

Another fun movie plot article:

Ten Ways The iPhone Has Already Killed The Classic Movie

1)

Victim: The Blues Brothers (1980)

Killed by: Social networking tools

2010 would have seen a much shorter movie. Elwood gets out his (all-black) iPhone and tracks down the band members through their artists’ pages on MySpace. To publicise the gig he gets onto Facebook. Job done, and the first two acts of the movie are now completely unnecessary: Aretha doesn’t tell us to Think, Ray doesn’t shake his tail feather and the State of Illinois saves hundreds of thousands of dollars in broken police cars.

2)

Victim: Memento (2001)

Killed by: The cameraphone

The built-in camera, complete with date/time stamps, geo-tagging and uploads to Flickr or Facebook, would mean no more costly trips to the tattoo parlour. Providing Leonard could remember where his iPhone was (and I’ve never met an owner who let it more than 6 feet away from their pocket, amnesiac or not), he could continue on his homicidal quest without a torso that looks like a serial killer’s doodle-pad. Handy for him and whoever’s following his photo uploads on Flickr, but a little less dramatic and visually arresting as a movie.

3)

Victim: The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Killed by: GPS/Maps

Remember getting lost? It’s what used to happen when you went somewhere you didn’t already know. You could do it almost anywhere. Someone even made a TV show about it.

But as we forge our way into the 21st century the concept of getting lost is becoming as relevant as having somewhere to park your Penny Farthing – it’s a problem people used to worry about that doesn’t really affect you any more. Sure, you might see someone in a movie scanning their environment and trying to figure out where the hell they are, but in real life all it now takes is to reach into the pocket and fire up the Maps app. You can tag the location of your car, your campsite and the Blair Witch, and never run into one when you’re looking for the other.

4)

Victim: Saw (2004)

Killed by: YouTube

The open-access video library is a vast font of knowledge as well as a collection of music videos, celebrity interviews and video mashups of Kermit the Frog vs. Hitler. And while Wikipedia might tell you what to do, its YouTube that shows you how to do it.

The first Saw movie runs to 103 minutes. ‘How to pick a lock’ on YouTube (1.5 million views) is two and a half minutes long. Even if you slow Saw’s end credits right down to a crawl, trying to fill 100 extra minutes of a story that’s over before it begins sounds like real torture.

5)

Victim: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

Killed by: Twitter

But could this happen today? Of course not. Can you imagine today’s popular, charismatic iPhone-wielding 17-year-old having the type of day Ferris had and not tweeting about it constantly?

‘ZOMG AM AT BASEBALL GAME NOT IN SKOOL LIK U LOOSERS LOL!’ @abefroman

Plus, by the time his day off had ended the Save Ferris campaign would have gone viral: a Facebook shrine, a Justgiving page, celebrity involvement and coverage on hard-up-for-stories 24-hour news channels.

6)

Victim: Romeo and Juliet (1996)

Killed by: Text/SMS

Most importantly, though, modern iPhone etiquette dictates that if you’re going to fake your own suicide it’s a good idea to let your husband know by at least dropping him a text. These days, just because you’re grounded by your folks doesn’t mean you can’t still get in touch. So instead of one of the world’s greatest tragedies we end up with two smug teenagers pulling a prank on their parents, experimenting with coma-inducing drugs and no doubt cheekily sexting from their balconies.

7)

Victim: Back To The Future (1985)

Killed by: iTunes3

Marty only gets on stage with the band because the regular guitarist gets injured. With no guitarist, how can the dance go ahead? What will the kids dance to?

Plug in the iPhone, of course. With thousands of tracks stored on the little buggers the whole ‘let’s do the show right here and save the party’ plot goes right out the window. Remember The Beatles jamming in a train carriage in A Hard Day’s Night? Well cherish that memory, because these days they’d be more likely to be each staring out the window, listening to Finnish Deathcore and Norwegian Wood through tiny white earbuds.

8)

Victim: Jaws (1975)

Killed by: 3G internet

Need a bigger boat? Stop complaining and order one online!

A 27-foot Macwestern Sailboat is currently going for £9950 on eBay. What are you waiting for?

Using the eBay app, you can just imagine the tension as the auction nears its inevitable conclusion! Duuuuum-dum! Duuuuum-dum!! Dumdum-dumdum-dumdum-dumdum-duh-nah-naaaaaaaaah!

Damn, outbid by Brodybunch75 at the last minute…

9)

Victim: The Graduate (1967)

Killed by: Phone

He drives as fast as he can, gets lost, runs out of gas and ends up running to the church.

That’s great, Ben, but do you know what I do when I desperately need to contact someone? I phone them up. If she really likes you I’m sure you can talk her round over the phone. She’s obviously not that interested in your looks, so your gift of gab is probably what attracted her in the first place.

Plus you might want to get the iFlorist app and get some flowers sent to smooth things over. And if you feel you absolutely have to do it in person, try using an app like PetrolPrices Pro to make sure you don’t run out of petrol at key dramatic points in the narrative, college boy…

10)

Victim: Scarface (1983)

Killed by: The App Store

What Tony clearly needed was the Paypal app. Never again do we need to see the clichéd shot of the briefcase full of dollars: the mundane reality of everyday money transfer is anything but visual. Tap tap tap – your transfer is complete.

 

[General Malaise]

Reading articles at Cracked.com

6 Giant Blind Spots In Every Movie Alien's Invasion Plot.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_19025_6-gia...l#ixzz1DySO0tw8

#6: Wear Something.

Everyone makes fun of Signs because it depicts an alien invasion that is thwarted because the aliens die if they touch water. But that's not the issue. It's not their fault that water is like acid to them, but it is their fault that they showed up naked. You have intergalactic starships, but you don't have GD pants? How does a civilization's evolution just skip over that part?

Con't:It's like humans landing on a planet where 70 percent of the surface is covered in molten lava, and the inhabitants are basically just moving sacks of lava. Even the atmosphere is so dense with lava vapor that often lava just rains from the sky with little to no warning. So what's your plan of attack? If you say anything other than "Jump out of the spaceship completely naked, your junk proudly flopping about, and engage the lava monsters in hand-to-hand combat," then congratulations -- you are smarter than the aliens in Signs.

Well, I have a new favorite website...

With the upcoming Battle: Los Angeles, we expect this trend to continue, unless it has the most inaccurate movie title since Naked Lunch

Anyone ever tried to sit through Naked Lunch? I assure you it is not easy and I was way not smart enough to 'get it'.

 

[RudiStein]

Reading articles at Cracked.com

6 Giant Blind Spots In Every Movie Alien's Invasion Plot.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_19025_6-gia...l#ixzz1DySO0tw8

#6: Wear Something.

Everyone makes fun of Signs because it depicts an alien invasion that is thwarted because the aliens die if they touch water. But that's not the issue. It's not their fault that water is like acid to them, but it is their fault that they showed up naked. You have intergalactic starships, but you don't have GD pants? How does a civilization's evolution just skip over that part?

Con't:It's like humans landing on a planet where 70 percent of the surface is covered in molten lava, and the inhabitants are basically just moving sacks of lava. Even the atmosphere is so dense with lava vapor that often lava just rains from the sky with little to no warning. So what's your plan of attack? If you say anything other than "Jump out of the spaceship completely naked, your junk proudly flopping about, and engage the lava monsters in hand-to-hand combat," then congratulations -- you are smarter than the aliens in Signs.

Well, I have a new favorite website...

With the upcoming Battle: Los Angeles, we expect this trend to continue, unless it has the most inaccurate movie title since Naked Lunch

Anyone ever tried to sit through Naked Lunch? I assure you it is not easy and I was way not smart enough to 'get it'.

Cracked articles are hilarious. They're not always 100% accurate when it comes to history or science etc but still so freaking awesome.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

In the War of the Worlds remake, the aliens bury their tripods at the sites of major cities before the cities exist, and humans learn that they have been planning their attack "for a million years." Let's ignore the fact that humans did not exist a million years ago and simply note that this is a really, really long time to plan an invasion. It's kind of a spectacular oversight not to notice that we have germs here.

I was yelling at the TV "WTF was killing a bunch of stupid mammals that can't even use tools too easy?!!" Mrs. SLB hates when I yell at the TV.Man was this a bad movie.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

God, that video's awesome, GM.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

God, that video's awesome, GM.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

I look forward to Gordon Keith's Valentines cards every year. I think its worth a listen for this crowd.

Link to audio

Example:

Dear Girl I am Interested In,

You and I have a lot in common. Know who else you have a lot in common with? Chandra Levy. Go jogging,

Gordon

Stu/NT> Hi.

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

God, that video's awesome, GM.

I don't have sound and I wasn't sure what I was watching until a particular moment."Is that ...? (squints and gets closer to monitor) "Holy ####!"

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

I look forward to Gordon Keith's Valentines cards every year. I think its worth a listen for this crowd.

Link to audio

Example:

Dear Girl I am Interested In,

You and I have a lot in common. Know who else you have a lot in common with? Chandra Levy. Go jogging,

Gordon

Stu/NT> Hi.

Nice. I need to visit his site.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

In reality, going straight for the United States is like trying to take down a mugger by punching him in the knife. No,

Hell, you may find that the Statue of Liberty has already been destroyed, taking one item right off your checklist.

there's no reason to wait for Jeff Goldblum to reverse-engineer your spacecraft and come after you unless you're in it for the thrill more than the victory.

 

[Josie Maran]

I've got about 4 hours to kill in Miami. Can anyone suggest something to do other than spending it and my per diem at the Hooters by the airport?I didn't think so.

Go for a 1/2 mile walk?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I woke up a few times, my wife has some sort of mild food poisoning I think, so I just slept through her barfing in the toilet and moaning that she hated life.

Wife pulled the goalie recently, but we're still not ready to try. Just wanna get the pill out of her system. Or something.

Congrats, DaddyGM.

Let's shoot for a straight one this time. NTTAWWT.

 

[shuke]

I've got about 4 hours to kill in Miami. Can anyone suggest something to do other than spending it and my per diem at the Hooters by the airport?I didn't think so.

Go for a 1/2 mile walk?

If this is a serios comment, I was on my feet all day and wanted some beers. If this was some kind of passive/aggressive fat joke, we've seen you on TV. You could use a few more walks yourself.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

you can see Hermione's nip on Egotastic

Does she still look like a 14 year old boy?

Yep.

 

[shuke]

Having an online chat with sportsbook.com....Me: "do you offer wagers on cricket" Me: "I don't see it"

Copy/paste:

Hello, my name is Janet Bradley. I'll be assisting you today.You: Do you offer Cricket?You: I don't see it. Janet Bradley: Hello Forrest.Janet Bradley: Please allow me a few minutes while I retrieve and review your information.Janet Bradley: After checking the information I regret to inform you that we do not offer Cricket.You: oh, that's okay, I don't really know anything about it, so best if I don't play it. Just wondered it was availableJanet Bradley: Ah ok. Is there anything else I can help you today?You: no thanks

 

[shuke]

you can see Hermione's nip on Egotastic

I think I speak for GM and other idiots when I say that I have no idea what any of this means.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Drinking this guy.

Pretty tasty.

 

[shuke]

Tre> get gwb to roll. Ask charv if he has access to super secret forum.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Tre> get gwb to roll. Ask charv if he has access to super secret forum.

On it.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Tre> get gwb to roll. Ask charv if he has access to super secret forum.

On it.

http://forums.footballguys.com/forum/index...howtopic=584569

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Decided to put a bunch of garlic powder on top of my salsa. GENIUS

 

[shuke]

OMFG I have an entire airport bar staring at me.

 

[SofaKings]

My wife and children huddled around the laptop while I was crying/laughing.

 

[General Malaise]

Man, that Kansas State coach is intense. Scary intense.

 

[kevzilla]

Man, that Kansas State coach is intense. Scary intense.

I am convinced that dude is gonna hurt somebody some day.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Frank Martin wears huge suits and looks like he should've had a four-episode arc in the Sopranos.

 

[Binky The Doormat]

I've got about 4 hours to kill in Miami. Can anyone suggest something to do other than spending it and my per diem at the Hooters by the airport?I didn't think so.

Go for a 1/2 mile walk?

If this is a serios comment, I was on my feet all day and wanted some beers. If this was some kind of passive/aggressive fat joke, we've seen you on TV. You could use a few more walks yourself.

Link?

 

[-fish-]

My power went out for about 15 minutes. When it came back on, Sportscenter was showing highlights of the Baylor/Texas A&M women's game. I thought the power outage had fried my TV. That dude that plays for Baylor is a beast.

 

[charvik]

Tre> get gwb to roll. Ask charv if he has access to super secret forum.

On it.

well, he has access now... not sure why I didn't get an email when he registered.

 

[General Malaise]

Drinking this guy.

Pretty tasty.

I bought a sixer of those on Saturday for a party. Very good brew.

 

[cosjobs]

Best Margarita recipe:

1 cup Costco brand Margarita mix (kirkland)

1.5 cups quality tequila (I'm drinking Milagro tonight)

1 cup quality fresh OJ (like Odwalla )

mix together in a pitcher of ice

makes 2 servings.

I had to adjust the serving size, since it has been recommended that I have fewer than five drinks per evening.

 

[charvik]

Best Margarita recipe:

1 cup Costco brand Margarita mix (kirkland)

1.5 cups quality tequila (I'm drinking Milagro tonight)

1 cup quality fresh OJ (like Odwalla )

mix together in a pitcher of ice

makes 2 servings.

I had to adjust the serving size, since it has been recommended that I have fewer than five drinks per evening.

Help me understand why you would buy a mix for any drinks. TIA.

(not trying to be a Richard, I really would like to know the reasoning)

 

[urbanhack]

bob and rudi> hi

 

[guest 54788]

you can see Hermione's nip on Egotastic

I think I speak for GM and other idiots when I say that I have no idea what any of this means.

nip = nipple. HTH

 

[bentley]

Best Margarita recipe:

1 cup Costco brand Margarita mix (kirkland)

1.5 cups quality tequila (I'm drinking Milagro tonight)

1 cup quality fresh OJ (like Odwalla )

mix together in a pitcher of ice

makes 2 servings.

I had to adjust the serving size, since it has been recommended that I have fewer than five drinks per evening.

Help me understand why you would buy a mix for any drinks. TIA.

(not trying to be a Richard, I really would like to know the reasoning)

This. If it doesn't include fresh squeezed lime juice, it ain't the best.

 

[urbanhack]

Best Margarita recipe:

1 cup Costco brand Margarita mix (kirkland)

1.5 cups quality tequila (I'm drinking Milagro tonight)

1 cup quality fresh OJ (like Odwalla )

mix together in a pitcher of ice

makes 2 servings.

I had to adjust the serving size, since it has been recommended that I have fewer than five drinks per evening.

Help me understand why you would buy a mix for any drinks. TIA.

(not trying to be a Richard, I really would like to know the reasoning)

This. If it doesn't include fresh squeezed lime juice, it ain't the best.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

bob and rudi> hi

Looks like how I stand after too many drinks.

 

[cosjobs]

Best Margarita recipe:

1 cup Costco brand Margarita mix (kirkland)

1.5 cups quality tequila (I'm drinking Milagro tonight)

1 cup quality fresh OJ (like Odwalla )

mix together in a pitcher of ice

makes 2 servings.

I had to adjust the serving size, since it has been recommended that I have fewer than five drinks per evening.

Help me understand why you would buy a mix for any drinks. TIA.

(not trying to be a Richard, I really would like to know the reasoning)

This. If it doesn't include fresh squeezed lime juice, it ain't the best.

I have a quart of fresh squeezed lime juice in my fridge and I have added it in varying degrees, with and without the mix. It has always been less tasty to my buds. There is no mix other than the Kirland/Costco that I like. Its nothing but cane sugar and lime juice. I also use fresh OJ rather than Gran Mariner or trriple Sec.All I can say is that I have drunk gallons and gallons and gallons of Margaritas and this is the best concoction for me.

 

[urbanhack]

Best Margarita recipe:

1 cup Costco brand Margarita mix (kirkland)

1.5 cups quality tequila (I'm drinking Milagro tonight)

1 cup quality fresh OJ (like Odwalla )

mix together in a pitcher of ice

makes 2 servings.

I had to adjust the serving size, since it has been recommended that I have fewer than five drinks per evening.

Help me understand why you would buy a mix for any drinks. TIA.

(not trying to be a Richard, I really would like to know the reasoning)

This. If it doesn't include fresh squeezed lime juice, it ain't the best.

I have a quart of fresh squeezed lime juice in my fridge

at all times?cos> hey