tell him more
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GM's thread about nothing (43 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
Tremendous Upside
Footballguy
Did you get really far?
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
I haven't been to the gym in three days because I hurt my back sexing the wife. Or maybe it was carrying firewood.
I went to bed at 10pm and woke up a 5am. After the family left, I plopped myself on the couch, read maybe 2 pages of my novel, then took at nap because I was too disinterested to make crock pot chicken. Slept 3 hours. Woke up aching & grumpy. Sucked down a cup of 4 hour old coffee because I doubt I'd last long enough to see a fresh pot brewed. I feel old. I stepped on the porch to stretch and our local special needs brat saw me in my PJs and started calling me out for a slapfight. What's that little brat doing home from school anyway? I feel so old.
How do you go through life like this, Tanner?
TIA. Will answer yours.
I went to bed at 10pm and woke up a 5am. After the family left, I plopped myself on the couch, read maybe 2 pages of my novel, then took at nap because I was too disinterested to make crock pot chicken. Slept 3 hours. Woke up aching & grumpy. Sucked down a cup of 4 hour old coffee because I doubt I'd last long enough to see a fresh pot brewed. I feel old. I stepped on the porch to stretch and our local special needs brat saw me in my PJs and started calling me out for a slapfight. What's that little brat doing home from school anyway? I feel so old.
How do you go through life like this, Tanner?
TIA. Will answer yours.
Last edited by a moderator:
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
I picture the conversation going like this:22 year old: What do you mean we have to do it in a homeless shelter?You need to up the ante
Didn't expect that there would be a homeless guy involved in this story about love-making.
Me: It's either that or we have to get a farm animal involved.
22 year old: What?????
Me: There is board cred at stake!!!
But seriously now, have you brought up 2 chicks at the same time? Something tells me this vixen would be into it and may have a similarly curious friend.
cosjobs
Footballguy
Maybe it was over your head.
Merlin
Alchemist
That could be GB, I've been told that I have the emotional range of a post-pubescent teenage boy.
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
Don't listen to your wife, GB. Women rarely know what they're talking about.
Apes with Guns
Footballguy
all of the Strategy First games at GOG.com are on sale this weekend! Jagged Alliance 2 FTW!!
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
Just sitting here on the pickup truck, tied to it as usual.
Bogart
Footballguy
Bogart Jr. had to do a writing exercise in his second grade class. He wrote me a letter, and gave it to me last night. This is what it said:
"Dear Daddy,
You ben like a frend to me oops you are a frend to me.
I love you so much. Happy Thursday.
Gist so yo now I like playing baseball.
Thanks! I love you."
Having kids can be pretty cool. This is why you have kids.
"Dear Daddy,
You ben like a frend to me oops you are a frend to me.
I love you so much. Happy Thursday.
Gist so yo now I like playing baseball.
Thanks! I love you."
Having kids can be pretty cool. This is why you have kids.
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
That's pretty terrible. Hope he enjoys 2nd grade the second time around.
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
I'm kidding of course.
YSR
Footballguy
Same here. I should be getting a ton back, just on my own. Add filing jointly for the first time and the huge business losses my husband had, and I feel like the amount we are supposed to get back is going to raise major flags. If there are no flags, it goes into the SLB Vegas Cornhole account.
JerseyToughGuys
Tough Guy
Crazy Canuck
Footballguy
(Very cool, B)
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Bogart
Footballguy
That was actually my first thought, after the dust settled. "We have to get this kid's writing skills up to par." My second thought was, "You like playing baseball? Then why were you such a PITA during the season??" Can't separate the Dad from the Coach sometimes.
General Malaise
Footballguy
I was expecting a completely different sound to Fartbarf than what I heard.Changing all gmail passwords to 'fartbarf'You just earned yourself one of the Fartbarf sticker packages I bought last night. It includes one for your bumper, which the kids will love, no?
I was gonna surprise Shuke with a Fartbarf concert shirt (for reals), because I thought he was the only one here to realize the genius of Fartbarf. But all they had was the black and white one (seen HERE). It's horrible and impossible to decipher. I can't believe they don't make better shirts than that. I lectured their merch guy about it, explaining how much more money they could be making. I mean, come on, I was good for half a dozen at least. What a splendid gift they'd make!
So I bought 3 posters for 12 bones (deal), and the bright "caution orange" day-glo stickers instead. HELLO, there's your shirt right there, Fartbarfers!
General Malaise
Footballguy
General Malaise
Footballguy
What sort of lead-in do I need to tell you all that our THIRD waiter of the night last night - a man who looked exactly like Jonnycakes from The Sopranos - looked deeply into the eyes of Cosjobs last night and said sweetly: "More coffee, Skipper"?
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
What did you think of "The Tree of Life"?
General Malaise
Footballguy
She got off from work around 9 and drove a half hour to meet up with me. We had a couple drinks and were both starting to get a bit tired, so decided to call it a night. I walked her back to her car and we sat in her car and chatted for a bit. We ended up putting on quite the show for the passers by on this well lit streetHmm...how to make this pg for the board...At one point, she was playing hide the banana with her mouth and a homeless guy walked up to the car (it was cold, so the car was running) and was trying to say something to me. I started flailing my arms wildly trying to get him to move along. Eventually he took the hint and followed a couple people that were walking by at the timeMeeting up with Random Makeout Chick in a couple minutes for drinks. Guess she missed me or somethingnot expecting anything to come from this, but I'll take a surprise visit!!
pected...
B-Deep
Footballguy
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
Well since I have no idea what is going on here I'd have to say a pretty big lead-in.What sort of lead-in do I need to tell you all that our THIRD waiter of the night last night - a man who looked exactly like Jonnycakes from The Sopranos - looked deeply into the eyes of Cosjobs last night and said sweetly: "More coffee, Skipper"?
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
What sort of lead-in do I need to tell you all that our THIRD waiter of the night last night - a man who looked exactly like Jonnycakes from The Sopranos - looked deeply into the eyes of Cosjobs last night and said sweetly: "More coffee, Skipper"?
General Malaise
Footballguy
My younger son typed out a poem to me earlier this year that is now taped to our fridge. He uses 'pleasantly plump' to describe me and i'll be damned if it doesn't work on meter.
YSR
Footballguy
I'm curious as to why cosjobs was drinking coffee.What sort of lead-in do I need to tell you all that our THIRD waiter of the night last night - a man who looked exactly like Jonnycakes from The Sopranos - looked deeply into the eyes of Cosjobs last night and said sweetly: "More coffee, Skipper"?
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Were you following them?If I just witnessed an (alleged) methhead and his sister buying ephedrine at two different pharmacies, am I under any kind of obligation to report it? I mentally jotted down their tag # just in case.
urbanhack
Fight The Power!
yes. you could be saving someone's life.If I just witnessed an (alleged) methhead and his sister buying ephedrine at two different pharmacies, am I under any kind of obligation to report it? I mentally jotted down their tag # just in case.
live and let live, imo
urbanhack
Fight The Power!
You know you did, you know you did, you know you did
General Malaise
Footballguy
Seems like Shuke got it. I'm going let you stew on that one for a bit, Stockdale.Well since I have no idea what is going on here I'd have to say a pretty big lead-in.What sort of lead-in do I need to tell you all that our THIRD waiter of the night last night - a man who looked exactly like Jonnycakes from The Sopranos - looked deeply into the eyes of Cosjobs last night and said sweetly: "More coffee, Skipper"?
General Malaise
Footballguy
Well, he had just taken a shot of cinnamen (no clue) infused bourbon outside the fish house we were going to, so he might have needed a chaser. What was really weird was how taken aback Waiter #1 was to Cosjob's request for a fresh pot of coffee...as if fish houses of America are not constantly churning out fresh pots at supper time."I'll have the beer battered cod, the hush puppies, corn on the cob and a side of your jalapeno tartar sauce"....I'm curious as to why cosjobs was drinking coffee.What sort of lead-in do I need to tell you all that our THIRD waiter of the night last night - a man who looked exactly like Jonnycakes from The Sopranos - looked deeply into the eyes of Cosjobs last night and said sweetly: "More coffee, Skipper"?
"Anything to wash that down with? Might I recommend a cup of piping hot, freshly brewed coffee?"
YSR
Footballguy
Was at Walgreens getting a prescription for Mr. YSR and the guy cut in front of me. He asked the pharmacist if he could see the ingredients on the Wal-Phed that they keep behind the counter. Once he saw what he wanted, he asked to buy one, then asked to buy two of them. The pharmacist kind of cut a knowing glance my way. Another pharmacist helped me with my pickup, and it happened that we walked out around the same time. I had to go to the grocery store across the street and that's where he went as well (there was a pharmacy there).Were you following them?If I just witnessed an (alleged) methhead and his sister buying ephedrine at two different pharmacies, am I under any kind of obligation to report it? I mentally jotted down their tag # just in case.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
I guess I'll just do that, Gresham.Seems like Shuke got it. I'm going let you stew on that one for a bit, Stockdale.Well since I have no idea what is going on here I'd have to say a pretty big lead-in.What sort of lead-in do I need to tell you all that our THIRD waiter of the night last night - a man who looked exactly like Jonnycakes from The Sopranos - looked deeply into the eyes of Cosjobs last night and said sweetly: "More coffee, Skipper"?
cosjobs
Footballguy
We had planned to catch a 9pm movie and after the previous night's 12 hour flight/ordeal and 2 hour time zone difference, I was winding down more quickly than I had hoped.I'm curious as to why cosjobs was drinking coffee.What sort of lead-in do I need to tell you all that our THIRD waiter of the night last night - a man who looked exactly like Jonnycakes from The Sopranos - looked deeply into the eyes of Cosjobs last night and said sweetly: "More coffee, Skipper"?
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
SFW?
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
Yeah I see "Debutante Hunters" in the link.
YSR
Footballguy
Yes. It's a short film that is contention to go to Sundance. It's called Debutante Hunters - it's about SC girls who hunt in camo and pearls.
Reg Lllama of Brixton
Footballguy
I thought it was an Ed Powers joint.
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