GM's thread about nothing (54 Viewers)

[Marvin]

Random wife complaint. I went to be pretty early (8:45) last night. Wife comes home from work about 25 minutes later just as I am falling asleep. She comes upstairs and asks "Do you feel OK? You're in bed really early." I tell her "I'm fine...I'm just tired." Then she goes into the bathroom and I try to fall back asleep. A couple of minutes later she comes back into the bedroom "Why are you so tired?" Without opening my eyes or lifting my head I tell her "I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night and had a long day". So she goes to leave the bedroom but she leaves the door open and the hall light that shines right onto the bed on. I call out "Honey? Could you please turn off the hall light?" She says "Are you mad at me about something?" "I wasn't until you kept me from falling asleep 3 times in the last 3 minutes."

she wanted you to put out.

Good one.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Random wife complaint. I went to be pretty early (8:45) last night. Wife comes home from work about 25 minutes later just as I am falling asleep. She comes upstairs and asks "Do you feel OK? You're in bed really early." I tell her "I'm fine...I'm just tired." Then she goes into the bathroom and I try to fall back asleep. A couple of minutes later she comes back into the bedroom "Why are you so tired?" Without opening my eyes or lifting my head I tell her "I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night and had a long day". So she goes to leave the bedroom but she leaves the door open and the hall light that shines right onto the bed on. I call out "Honey? Could you please turn off the hall light?" She says "Are you mad at me about something?" "I wasn't until you kept me from falling asleep 3 times in the last 3 minutes."

she wanted you to put out.

Good one.

 

[Radio Free Homer]

Random wife complaint. I went to be pretty early (8:45) last night. Wife comes home from work about 25 minutes later just as I am falling asleep. She comes upstairs and asks "Do you feel OK? You're in bed really early." I tell her "I'm fine...I'm just tired." Then she goes into the bathroom and I try to fall back asleep. A couple of minutes later she comes back into the bedroom "Why are you so tired?" Without opening my eyes or lifting my head I tell her "I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night and had a long day". So she goes to leave the bedroom but she leaves the door open and the hall light that shines right onto the bed on. I call out "Honey? Could you please turn off the hall light?" She says "Are you mad at me about something?" "I wasn't until you kept me from falling asleep 3 times in the last 3 minutes."

she wanted you to put out.

Good one.

 

[Sarnoff]

If I've learned anything from the movie Big, it's that you get a re-do on life if you find the gypsy fortune teller machine on the pier. WA freaking LA

eff why eye

 

[General Malaise]

I do like Washington Huskies as a home dog tonight against Stanford. Small parlay:Huskies +225 w/ Under 48.5$20 to win $104.9Now bet the other side!

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I do like Washington Huskies as a home dog tonight against Stanford.

Small parlay:

Huskies +225 w/ Under 48.5

$20 to win $104.9

Now bet the other side!

HOT STREAK!Also:http://www.mapmsg.com/view/cropcircle/?m=bTlfqm1haWwAAPKdrzydug

 

[Tiger Fan]

So leaving for Vegas today and I got 99% of my work done, so I decided..."Why not see if I can equate each person going with us to the GMTAN/FFA crowd." of course...but hell, it might make telling stories in here when I get back funnier BackgroundOut of the 11 people going, 9 of us are married (5 of those with multiple kids)...so this will be a drinking/gambling (sports book mostly) trip, not a picking up on girls trip. Tiger Fan - yours truly...pretty laid back, likes to drink and gamble in heavy volume Joe T - laid back, quiet for the most part, but comes up with that zinger here and thereBentley - this dude has 4 kids all under 6 and hasn't been on a trip with friends since he got married. Is already planning on using the IV bus tomorrow morning. Will be wasted non-stopJplvr - going to wake up, roll out of bed, play one $500 3-team parlay and roll with that for the entire dayBrother of Jplvr - don't really know him$cupper - funny, loud, has an ##### (in a funny way) tendency...kind of guy you like having in your group, but when you don't know him and have to listen to him be loud Cosjobs - always with a one liner, laid back, will be gambling a lotTommyboy - usually annoying, but we tolerate him...will be sloppy drunk and I'll hate him by the end of the trip. 1:1 to end up in jail. (editor's note...I think Tommyboy is the right choice here...but not sure)GM - (probably more like a Disco Stu/Guster/GM hybrid....but I needed a role for the thread's protagonist)...not a degenerate grambler like GM, but very well liked; probably the "unspoken leader" of the group, and can roll with anything.Zilla - laid back...will sit there and quitely get drunk and then leave by himself undetected to ride the roller coaster at the stratosphere and then come back and join the groupSLBD - shady (in a good way)...fun, all over the place.anyway, there you have it...a solid crowd that compliments each other well...should be a blast of a trip.

Coulda sworn I was going to Montana this weekend, but I guess not. Who am I staying with...cosjobs I hope!

You're with Jplvr. First night in the books and nothing too crazy to report except that I'm way too early and the hot blond southwest flight attendant is a first class c word. Only 2 drinks per person on a 3.5 hour flight does not sit well with a bunch of guys flying to Vegas.

Check that. Tommy boy is not accounted for

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

has tommyboy ever posted in here?

 

[Marvin]

For Tanner

Inbread cats are a serious problem.

 

[belljr]

So I'm filling out a loan application. My wife is Puerto Rican. How do you answer number 2?

1) Are you Hispanic or Non-Hispanic ? Hispanic X Non-Hispanic _

2) Race?

African American/Black _

Native American _

Asian _

Pacific Islander _

White _

 

[-fish-]

/Big Difficult White Guy Novel Chat Activated.

500 pages? c'mon bro.

1100

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

So I'm filling out a loan application. My wife is Puerto Rican. How do you answer number 2?

1) Are you Hispanic or Non-Hispanic ? Hispanic X Non-Hispanic _

2) Race?

African American/Black _

Native American _

Asian _

Pacific Islander _

White _

first time filling out a questionnaire?isn't this standard? Hispanic isn't a race.

I'd guess that most Puerto Ricans are White.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Hispanic_and_Latino_Americans

Hispanicity, which is independent of race, is the only ethnic category, as opposed to racial category, which is officially collated by the U.S. Census Bureau. The distinction made by government agencies for those within the population of any official race category, including "African American", is between those who report Hispanic backgrounds and all others who do not

 

[Captain Quinoa]

/Big Difficult White Guy Novel Chat Activated.

500 pages? c'mon bro.

1100

500 for me /posty

 

[Good Posting Judge]

So I'm filling out a loan application. My wife is Puerto Rican. How do you answer number 2?

1) Are you Hispanic or Non-Hispanic ? Hispanic X Non-Hispanic _

2) Race?

African American/Black _

Native American _

Asian _

Pacific Islander _

White _

Probably best that you fill it out, they get upset when loan applications are filled out in spray paint.Hey-ohhhhhhh!

 

[belljr]

So I'm filling out a loan application. My wife is Puerto Rican. How do you answer number 2?

1) Are you Hispanic or Non-Hispanic ? Hispanic X Non-Hispanic _

2) Race?

African American/Black _

Native American _

Asian _

Pacific Islander _

White _

first time filling out a questionnaire?this is standard. Hispanic isn't a race.

I'd guess that most Puerto Ricans are White.

I don't fill them out often that is for sure. I put white. Since none of the others fit.

 

[Marvin]

Good god. I got this female student in my class about a week ago. For some reason they had to change her schedule so she moved from another teacher's History class to mine.

This girl is bad news on wheels. She told her old teacher that she has a boyfriend that is 20 (she's 14). Apparently her parents know and don't care. She dresses like the hottest chick in the trailer park and changes her hair color about twice a month.

Today she comes in and says "OMG I AM SO EXCITED! TONY PERRY IS COMING TO TOWN IN 47 DAYS!" I have no clue who that is. Turns out he's the guitar player for some #### band called Pierce the Veil. So I tell her "Yeah, cool. I'm happy for you."

Then she says "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HE IS SO HOT! AND A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO AT [name of local #### music fest] I ASKED HIM FOR AN AUTOGRAPH AND HE SIGNED MY BOOBS!!!!"

That's when I stopped her with "Hold it...time out...story's done...thanks for sharing."

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Good god. I got this female student in my class about a week ago. For some reason they had to change her schedule so she moved from another teacher's History class to mine.This girl is bad news on wheels. She told her old teacher that she has a boyfriend that is 20 (she's 14). Apparently her parents know and don't care. She dresses like the hottest chick in the trailer park and changes her hair color about twice a month.Today she comes in and says "OMG I AM SO EXCITED! TONY PERRY IS COMING TO TOWN IN 47 DAYS!" I have no clue who that is. Turns out he's the guitar player for some #### band called Pierce the Veil. So I tell her "Yeah, cool. I'm happy for you." Then she says "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HE IS SO HOT! AND A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO AT [name of local #### music fest] I ASKED HIM FOR AN AUTOGRAPH AND HE SIGNED MY BOOBS!!!!"That's when I stopped her with "Hold it...time out...story's done...thanks for sharing."

"I am legally checking out of this conversation.You may continue."

 

[belljr]

So I'm filling out a loan application. My wife is Puerto Rican. How do you answer number 2?

1) Are you Hispanic or Non-Hispanic ? Hispanic X Non-Hispanic _

2) Race?

African American/Black _

Native American _

Asian _

Pacific Islander _

White _

Probably best that you fill it out, they get upset when loan applications are filled out in spray paint.Hey-ohhhhhhh!

You know what joke doesn't go over well Christmas morning....I'm trying to open a toy for my daughter at the inlaws, entire family is there.

me: "Anyone got a knife?"

everyone: "no"

me: "How is it possible that NONE of YOU have a knife"

:crickets:

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Good god. I got this female student in my class about a week ago. For some reason they had to change her schedule so she moved from another teacher's History class to mine.

This girl is bad news on wheels. She told her old teacher that she has a boyfriend that is 20 (she's 14). Apparently her parents know and don't care. She dresses like the hottest chick in the trailer park and changes her hair color about twice a month.

Today she comes in and says "OMG I AM SO EXCITED! TONY PERRY IS COMING TO TOWN IN 47 DAYS!" I have no clue who that is. Turns out he's the guitar player for some #### band called Pierce the Veil. So I tell her "Yeah, cool. I'm happy for you."

Then she says "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HE IS SO HOT! AND A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO AT [name of local #### music fest] I ASKED HIM FOR AN AUTOGRAPH AND HE SIGNED MY BOOBS!!!!"

That's when I stopped her with "Hold it...time out...story's done...thanks for sharing."

 

[Marvin]

Good god. I got this female student in my class about a week ago. For some reason they had to change her schedule so she moved from another teacher's History class to mine.

This girl is bad news on wheels. She told her old teacher that she has a boyfriend that is 20 (she's 14). Apparently her parents know and don't care. She dresses like the hottest chick in the trailer park and changes her hair color about twice a month.

Today she comes in and says "OMG I AM SO EXCITED! TONY PERRY IS COMING TO TOWN IN 47 DAYS!" I have no clue who that is. Turns out he's the guitar player for some #### band called Pierce the Veil. So I tell her "Yeah, cool. I'm happy for you."

Then she says "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HE IS SO HOT! AND A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO AT [name of local #### music fest] I ASKED HIM FOR AN AUTOGRAPH AND HE SIGNED MY BOOBS!!!!"

That's when I stopped her with "Hold it...time out...story's done...thanks for sharing."

"I am legally checking out of this conversation.

You may continue."

Pretty much. Oh and here is the dude http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4136/4816225148_501fec7bdd.jpg I wonder, as a 'mandatory reporter' if I should narc on this guy for scribbling on a 14 year old girls boobs.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

So I'm filling out a loan application. My wife is Puerto Rican. How do you answer number 2?

1) Are you Hispanic or Non-Hispanic ? Hispanic X Non-Hispanic _

2) Race?

African American/Black _

Native American _

Asian _

Pacific Islander _

White _

Probably best that you fill it out, they get upset when loan applications are filled out in spray paint.Hey-ohhhhhhh!

You know what joke doesn't go over well Christmas morning....I'm trying to open a toy for my daughter at the inlaws, entire family is there.

me: "Anyone got a knife?"

everyone: "no"

me: "How is it possible that NONE of YOU have a knife"

:crickets:

 

[Marvin]

So I'm filling out a loan application. My wife is Puerto Rican. How do you answer number 2?

1) Are you Hispanic or Non-Hispanic ? Hispanic X Non-Hispanic _

2) Race?

African American/Black _

Native American _

Asian _

Pacific Islander _

White _

Probably best that you fill it out, they get upset when loan applications are filled out in spray paint.Hey-ohhhhhhh!

You know why Dos Equis has two Xs on the bottle?

Because every Mexican needs a co-signer.

 

[Captain Quinoa]

So I'm filling out a loan application. My wife is Puerto Rican. How do you answer number 2?

1) Are you Hispanic or Non-Hispanic ? Hispanic X Non-Hispanic _

2) Race?

African American/Black _

Native American _

Asian _

Pacific Islander _

White _

Probably best that you fill it out, they get upset when loan applications are filled out in spray paint.Hey-ohhhhhhh!

You know why Dos Equis has two Xs on the bottle?

Because every Mexican needs a co-signer.

Oh. I thought it was because 'Dos' is Spanish for 'Two'.

 

[Marvin]

So I'm filling out a loan application. My wife is Puerto Rican. How do you answer number 2?

1) Are you Hispanic or Non-Hispanic ? Hispanic X Non-Hispanic _

2) Race?

African American/Black _

Native American _

Asian _

Pacific Islander _

White _

Probably best that you fill it out, they get upset when loan applications are filled out in spray paint.Hey-ohhhhhhh!

You know why Dos Equis has two Xs on the bottle?

Because every Mexican needs a co-signer.

Oh. I thought it was because 'Dos' is Spanish for 'Two'.

My link

 

[Disco Stu]

This year's Idiocracy foods from the Great State Fair of Texas.

#friedeverything #onastick #rolaids

 

[Dr. Awesome]

This year's Idiocracy foods from the Great State Fair of Texas.

#friedeverything #onastick #rolaids

Fried bacon cinnamon roll? Yes please. :drool:

 

[Limp Ditka]

So I'm filling out a loan application. My wife is Puerto Rican. How do you answer number 2?

1) Are you Hispanic or Non-Hispanic ? Hispanic X Non-Hispanic _

2) Race?

African American/Black _

Native American _

Asian _

Pacific Islander _

White _

Probably best that you fill it out, they get upset when loan applications are filled out in spray paint.Hey-ohhhhhhh!

You know what joke doesn't go over well Christmas morning....I'm trying to open a toy for my daughter at the inlaws, entire family is there.

me: "Anyone got a knife?"

everyone: "no"

me: "How is it possible that NONE of YOU have a knife"

:crickets:

 

[Radio Free Homer]

Tanner>hey

 

[Marvin]

Tanner>hey

Sup, fella.

 

[General Malaise]

So leaving for Vegas today and I got 99% of my work done, so I decided..."Why not see if I can equate each person going with us to the GMTAN/FFA crowd." of course...but hell, it might make telling stories in here when I get back funnier

Background

Out of the 11 people going, 9 of us are married (5 of those with multiple kids)...so this will be a drinking/gambling (sports book mostly) trip, not a picking up on girls trip.

Tiger Fan - yours truly...pretty laid back, likes to drink and gamble in heavy volume

Joe T - laid back, quiet for the most part, but comes up with that zinger here and there

Bentley - this dude has 4 kids all under 6 and hasn't been on a trip with friends since he got married. Is already planning on using the IV bus tomorrow morning. Will be wasted non-stop

Jplvr - going to wake up, roll out of bed, play one $500 3-team parlay and roll with that for the entire day

Brother of Jplvr - don't really know him

$cupper - funny, loud, has an ##### (in a funny way) tendency...kind of guy you like having in your group, but when you don't know him and have to listen to him be loud

Cosjobs - always with a one liner, laid back, will be gambling a lot

Tommyboy - usually annoying, but we tolerate him...will be sloppy drunk and I'll hate him by the end of the trip. 1:1 to end up in jail. (editor's note...I think Tommyboy is the right choice here...but not sure)

GM - (probably more like a Disco Stu/Guster/GM hybrid....but I needed a role for the thread's protagonist)...not a degenerate grambler like GM, but very well liked; probably the "unspoken leader" of the group, and can roll with anything.

Zilla - laid back...will sit there and quitely get drunk and then leave by himself undetected to ride the roller coaster at the stratosphere and then come back and join the group

SLBD - shady (in a good way)...fun, all over the place.

anyway, there you have it...a solid crowd that compliments each other well...should be a blast of a trip.

Coulda sworn I was going to Montana this weekend, but I guess not. Who am I staying with...cosjobs I hope!

You're with Jplvr. First night in the books and nothing too crazy to report except that I'm way too early and the hot blond southwest flight attendant is a first class c word. Only 2 drinks per person on a 3.5 hour flight does not sit well with a bunch of guys flying to Vegas.

Check that. Tommy boy is not accounted for

MOAR!

 

[Radio Free Homer]

I'm drinking beer and watching golf. Slap it high?

 

[Gadzooks]

Zooks, is this your fridge?

That gave me a stomach-boner

 

[Gadzooks]

Since taking on a new position at work, I now work in our Main Office which has about 50 employees in it. I pretty much knew everyone here before, but now I know them all a little better and have decided that there are a few that I just don't like. They either annoy me or just bother me by the fact that they are alive and I have to see them and interact with them daily. I don't want to overtly hurt them or do bad things to them, but, truthfully I really want to. So I want to bother them without it seeming like I'm doing it on purpose. So I've been studying that "Note to Co-Worker" thread and trying to do all the annoying things that the posters complain about in that thread. I find that this accomplishes my wish to bother/annoy my co-workers that I dislike, and it brings entertainment to myself. So it's a double win.

Another interesting thing about being in this office is that I now work in the same building as the President of the company. If you recall I've posted in the past about wanting to do inappropriate things with his daughter who happens to cut my hair. She has absolutely made it clear that she is interested in me and I've not pursued anything because she is the daughter of the President. In the last week he has dropped hints to me about asking his daughter out. Now he has even asked a co-worker (who is a good friend of mine) why I haven't called his daughter yet and that she is waiting for me to call her. My co-worker/friend knows I'm worried about the fact she's the "President's daughter" and told our President that NO ONE that works here would ever ask her out because of he is her father. He told her that he didn't care as long as I was nice to her (she got divorced within the last year after being married for less than a year because her husband cheated on her) He just wants her to be happy. She stopped by the office today to say hi to her Dad and she looked amazing. I figure there's no reason not to pursue this now.... what could possibly go wrong?

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I'm drinking beer and watching golf. Slap it high?

Nah.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Since taking on a new position at work, I now work in our Main Office which has about 50 employees in it. I pretty much knew everyone here before, but now I know them all a little better and have decided that there are a few that I just don't like. They either annoy me or just bother me by the fact that they are alive and I have to see them and interact with them daily. I don't want to overtly hurt them or do bad things to them, but, truthfully I really want to. So I want to bother them without it seeming like I'm doing it on purpose. So I've been studying that "Note to Co-Worker" thread and trying to do all the annoying things that the posters complain about in that thread. I find that this accomplishes my wish to bother/annoy my co-workers that I dislike, and it brings entertainment to myself. So it's a double win.Another interesting thing about being in this office is that I now work in the same building as the President of the company. If you recall I've posted in the past about wanting to do inappropriate things with his daughter who happens to cut my hair. She has absolutely made it clear that she is interested in me and I've not pursued anything because she is the daughter of the President. In the last week he has dropped hints to me about asking his daughter out. Now he has even asked a co-worker (who is a good friend of mine) why I haven't called his daughter yet and that she is waiting for me to call her. My co-worker/friend knows I'm worried about the fact she's the "President's daughter" and told our President that NO ONE that works here would ever ask her out because of he is her father. He told her that he didn't care as long as I was nice to her (she got divorced within the last year after being married for less than a year because her husband cheated on her) He just wants her to be happy. She stopped by the office today to say hi to her Dad and she looked amazing. I figure there's no reason not to pursue this now.... what could possibly go wrong?

What kind of sick place do you work at?

 

[Sarnoff]

 

[Gadzooks]

Since taking on a new position at work, I now work in our Main Office which has about 50 employees in it. I pretty much knew everyone here before, but now I know them all a little better and have decided that there are a few that I just don't like. They either annoy me or just bother me by the fact that they are alive and I have to see them and interact with them daily. I don't want to overtly hurt them or do bad things to them, but, truthfully I really want to. So I want to bother them without it seeming like I'm doing it on purpose. So I've been studying that "Note to Co-Worker" thread and trying to do all the annoying things that the posters complain about in that thread. I find that this accomplishes my wish to bother/annoy my co-workers that I dislike, and it brings entertainment to myself. So it's a double win.Another interesting thing about being in this office is that I now work in the same building as the President of the company. If you recall I've posted in the past about wanting to do inappropriate things with his daughter who happens to cut my hair. She has absolutely made it clear that she is interested in me and I've not pursued anything because she is the daughter of the President. In the last week he has dropped hints to me about asking his daughter out. Now he has even asked a co-worker (who is a good friend of mine) why I haven't called his daughter yet and that she is waiting for me to call her. My co-worker/friend knows I'm worried about the fact she's the "President's daughter" and told our President that NO ONE that works here would ever ask her out because of he is her father. He told her that he didn't care as long as I was nice to her (she got divorced within the last year after being married for less than a year because her husband cheated on her) He just wants her to be happy. She stopped by the office today to say hi to her Dad and she looked amazing. I figure there's no reason not to pursue this now.... what could possibly go wrong?

What kind of sick place do you work at?

Lets just say I'm very similar to George Bailey.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Lets just say I'm very similar to George Bailey.

Well, give my best to Zuzu.

 

[Goat Herders]

We are 4.5 years living in "the house of our dreams" and my wife suddenly decides an overpriced house down the road would be better for our family since its on 5 acres. Admittedly, it's a great house and we have always talked about moving to that neighborhood, but a Thursday morning of "that house is for sale...we should move" followed by five hours of me being taught how much of an ####### I am for not loving the plan means im drinking a lot tonight. Marriage is awesome.

I hope you have the time of your life

is there more background to this or are people just that worked up over Green Day? was there a bet involved or some in real life encounter that sparked this Green Day related nonsense?

Apparently Truck has a man crush on the guy in green day that wears eyeliner and skinny pants and talks like he's from England. Never seen someone get so worked up over such a middling band. Anyway, now I get a lot of green day replies. Doesn't bother me.

 

[Radio Free Homer]

I'm drinking beer and watching golf. Slap it high?

Nah.

I'm watching football now. Any chance I can change your stance on this?

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I'm drinking beer and watching golf. Slap it high?

Nah.

I'm watching football now. Any chance I can change your stance on this?

What you got behind the bar?

 

[BRONG]

I think Marvin has me on ignore.

 

[Osaurus]

Hawaiians dropping like flies

 

[Radio Free Homer]

I'm drinking beer and watching golf. Slap it high?

Nah.

I'm watching football now. Any chance I can change your stance on this?

What you got behind the bar?

Mai Tais and Purple Hooters, I think.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

I'll put this here.

 

[kevzilla]

I figure there's no reason not to pursue this now.... what could possibly go wrong?

Get busy on/with this. We I live vicariously through you and the other players on this thread.:retired:

 

[JaxBill]

Hawaiians dropping like flies

Or Pineapples

 

[Goat Herders]

Dear GadZooks,

I do not know your age, station in life, nor goals. That said, dating your Barber has four possible outcomes.

1. You go out a few times and nothing comes of it. No harm, no foul. Outcome - neutral.

2. You go out a few times and it becomes a full relationship and it ends in such a way that you are at fault and the bad guy. Boss is mad and you need a new barber. Outcome - negative.

3. You go out a few times and it becomes a full relationship and ends in such a way that she is the bad guy. Outcome - slight positive.

4. You go out a few times and end up as the son in law of the president of what appears to be a successful, somewhat decent sized company.

Discounting the neutral result, you have a 2 in 3 chance of having something good come of asking her out on a professional level, not to mention sex and free haircuts. I'm not sure you'll find better odds anywhere, especially as haircuts are involved.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Dear GadZooks,I do not know your age, station in life, nor goals. That said, dating your Barber has four possible outcomes. 1. You go out a few times and nothing comes of it. No harm, no foul. Outcome - neutral.2. You go out a few times and it becomes a full relationship and it ends in such a way that you are at fault and the bad guy. Boss is mad and you need a new barber. Outcome - negative. 3. You go out a few times and it becomes a full relationship and ends in such a way that she is the bad guy. Outcome - slight positive.4. You go out a few times and end up as the son in law of the president of what appears to be a successful, somewhat decent sized company. Discounting the neutral result, you have a 2 in 3 chance of having something good come of asking her out on a professional level, not to mention sex and free haircuts. I'm not sure you'll find better odds anywhere, especially as haircuts are involved.

Repeat the above with probabilities attached for each.

 

[Gadzooks]

Dear GadZooks,I do not know your age, station in life, nor goals. That said, dating your Barber has four possible outcomes. 1. You go out a few times and nothing comes of it. No harm, no foul. Outcome - neutral.2. You go out a few times and it becomes a full relationship and it ends in such a way that you are at fault and the bad guy. Boss is mad and you need a new barber. Outcome - negative. 3. You go out a few times and it becomes a full relationship and ends in such a way that she is the bad guy. Outcome - slight positive.4. You go out a few times and end up as the son in law of the president of what appears to be a successful, somewhat decent sized company. Discounting the neutral result, you have a 2 in 3 chance of having something good come of asking her out on a professional level, not to mention sex and free haircuts. I'm not sure you'll find better odds anywhere, especially as haircuts are involved.

Repeat the above with probabilities attached for each.

#3 seems least likely to happen#4 seems unlikely, but I guess you never know#2 this is slightly possible but not because I'm a bad guy, it's because I'm an idiot and when I lose interest I don't have the guts to end things, I usually just string things along until the girl gets sick of me being "distant"#1 is probably the most likely outcomeI'd like to think that in all of those scenarios there's a chance of me banging her on the board room table while making a shot video