GM's thread about nothing (42 Viewers)

[-fish-]

So i signed a case worth 800k to 1 mil today in nyc. Efforting a shot vid w the bartender.

Nice work.

 

[Zow]

hmmm...another woz post. I'm going with this as a reply:I still can't read your posts, #######.

Yet you still get pretty worked up.

 

[Thorn]

So i signed a case worth 800k to 1 mil today in nyc. Efforting a shot vid w the bartender.

PI?

Property loss and ins co isnt paying. Also a 3rd party claim against mitigation company.

 

[krista4]

Tanner et al.Found out our Gnomer on my floor is named "Trykeitha". This is a real person. Seen this one before?What is a Gnomer, you might ask? It's a made-up bull#### thing that companies that don't wish to spend money on come up with to make holidays "fun". Will have to copy and paste some stuff tomorrow. Truly Office Space material.

are you on drugs? not judging, but none of this makes any sense.

Exactly.

Tanner et al.Found out our Gnomer on my floor is named "Trykeitha". This is a real person. Seen this one before?What is a Gnomer, you might ask? It's a made-up bull#### thing that companies that don't wish to spend money on come up with to make holidays "fun". Will have to copy and paste some stuff tomorrow. Truly Office Space material.

Who named it? It wasn't a guy named Keith A was it? If so, that's some subliminal bull#### right there

Just to be clear, Trykeitha is a real person, which is why I wondered if Tanner--he of the odd student names--had seen it before. The "Gnomer" on each floor is the individual in charge of the area's gnome. Honest to god. The gnome (there are actually many gnomes throughout the company's offices) don't have given names, but we are encouraged to name them.Really if I posted the company-wide (25,000+ employees) e-mail we received today, this would all make a lot more sense. Or, more likely, not.ETA: We have gnomes instead of elves because someone heard that elves had religious connotations that were offensive.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

Jesus H Christ

 

[-fish-]

Tanner et al.Found out our Gnomer on my floor is named "Trykeitha". This is a real person. Seen this one before?What is a Gnomer, you might ask? It's a made-up bull#### thing that companies that don't wish to spend money on come up with to make holidays "fun". Will have to copy and paste some stuff tomorrow. Truly Office Space material.

are you on drugs? not judging, but none of this makes any sense.

Exactly.

Tanner et al.Found out our Gnomer on my floor is named "Trykeitha". This is a real person. Seen this one before?What is a Gnomer, you might ask? It's a made-up bull#### thing that companies that don't wish to spend money on come up with to make holidays "fun". Will have to copy and paste some stuff tomorrow. Truly Office Space material.

Who named it? It wasn't a guy named Keith A was it? If so, that's some subliminal bull#### right there

Just to be clear, Trykeitha is a real person, which is why I wondered if Tanner--he of the odd student names--had seen it before. The "Gnomer" on each floor is the individual in charge of the area's gnome. Honest to god. The gnome (there are actually many gnomes throughout the company's offices) don't have given names, but we are encouraged to name them.Really if I posted the company-wide (25,000+ employees) e-mail we received today, this would all make a lot more sense. Or, more likely, not.ETA: We have gnomes instead of elves because someone heard that elves had religious connotations that were offensive.

someone should get their ### kicked.

 

[Thorn]

Jesus H Christ

Are you out in nyc? Bc i am.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

Jesus H Christ

Are you out in nyc? Bc i am.

Nope...Where are you drinking?

 

[Thorn]

Jesus H Christ

Are you out in nyc? Bc i am.

Nope...Where are you drinking?

Mr biggs

 

[Zow]

So i signed a case worth 800k to 1 mil today in nyc. Efforting a shot vid w the bartender.

PI?

Property loss and ins co isnt paying. Also a 3rd party claim against mitigation company.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Jesus H Christ

Are you out in nyc? Bc i am.

Nope...Where are you drinking?

Mr biggs

Mr Big?

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Sex and the city tour?

 

[-fish-]

Jesus H Christ

Are you out in nyc? Bc i am.

Nope...Where are you drinking?

Mr biggs

Mr Big?

gratuitous shots about fathering ******* children in the downward spiral thread...know you enjoy those.

 

[Thorn]

Jesus H Christ

Are you out in nyc? Bc i am.

Nope...Where are you drinking?

Mr biggs

Mr Big?

gratuitous shots about fathering ******* children in the downward spiral thread...know you enjoy those.

What

 

[-fish-]

Jesus H Christ

Are you out in nyc? Bc i am.

Nope...Where are you drinking?

Mr biggs

Mr Big?

gratuitous shots about fathering ******* children in the downward spiral thread...know you enjoy those.

What

that was for GPJ. Every once in a while MoP likes to become :e:'s pinata. Tonight was one of those.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Anyone remember Ministry of Pain's podcast? I can't be the only one.

 

[-fish-]

Anyone remember Ministry of Pain's podcast? I can't be the only one.

podcasts to exploit/avoid

 

[BigJohn]

1978

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

Anyone remember Ministry of Pain's podcast? I can't be the only one.

Dare I ask the subject matter?

 

[Guster]

Jesus H Christ

Are you out in nyc? Bc i am.

Nope...Where are you drinking?

Mr biggs

Mr Big?

gratuitous shots about fathering ******* children in the downward spiral thread...know you enjoy those.

What

that was for GPJ. Every once in a while MoP likes to become :e:'s pinata. Tonight was one of those.

That was just kinda pathetic. The dude isn't wired right, even if its just shtick.

 

[YSR]

The cat that never purrs.

YSR/Dorothy, how did things go for you today?

I'll update on my day when I'm less...oh, I don't know. Angry, I guess. I did not Maguire it but we're almost at a Norma Rae moment at the company instead. Actually, I don't remember what that movie was about. Maybe more of a Peter Finch in Network moment. Yet another VP quit today.

Perhaps-only-amusing-to-me aside: I was reminded today that during my rant to my boss on Friday, I told him that the only things I cared about at the company at this point were him, Dirk (direct report to me), Jason (guy in Finance who's a good friend), and "that squirrel that jumps from tree to tree outside my window every morning".

Really, though, that squirrel is pretty awesome.

It was actually cancelled. HR apparently informed my boss that my 6-month review should take place - wait for it - at the 6 month mark. Go figure.

Related

Squirrels rule. My first few weeks on Twitter, I got some good chuckles out of this account. So dumb.

Tanner et al.

Found out our Gnomer on my floor is named "Trykeitha". This is a real person. Seen this one before?

What is a Gnomer, you might ask? It's a made-up bull#### thing that companies that don't wish to spend money on come up with to make holidays "fun". Will have to copy and paste some stuff tomorrow. Truly Office Space material.

Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.

1978

Crap! I missed 1977!

 

[BigJohn]

1978

Crap! I missed 1977!

I'm sure someone has a superfluous crap post they would be willing to edit. For the right price, of course.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

1978

Crap! I missed 1977!

1978 was a fine year. The world was graced with my presence and Miller's stock went up like 100 points (I don't invest, is that good?) Day 2 of Daddy Day Care and I'm already going stir crazy. There isn't anything on TV and only so much tummy time and peek a boo a 3 month old can handle, let alone a 34 year old. And in my absence, apparently my team at work has turned into a bunch of maroons. I got calls and emails about the most mundane tasks yesterday and it's already started today. 8am on Tuesday while babysitting isn't a good time to start drinking is it?

 

[krista4]

Regarding gnomes...this is in lieu of our being able to have department holiday parties this year.

Coming soon . . . the Holiday Gnomes.

We personally selected each Gnome to help spread cheer during the Holiday Week Celebration. Your Holiday Gnome will make its first appearance on Monday, December 10 to help us kick off the week-long celebration. Make sure you stop by your team captains location (we actually refer to them as Gnomers) to take a peek. You might even consider submitting a name for your Gnome to us at by 5 p.m. on December 10. The name for your Gnome is very important since it represents your group. The winning entry per area will receive two tickets to a Memphis Grizzlies game.

Since our Gnomes are helpers, theyll work side-by-side with the Gnomers during business hours but they tend to hide when everyone leaves the office for the day. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to find your Gnome every morning after receiving the clue via email from Holiday Headquarters. Gift cards will be awarded to each associate that finds the Gnome and returns it to the Gnomer. Keep in mind, theres only one gift card per-area, per-day. So if you choose to work as a team, plan to share the winnings.

More details Gnoming soon . . .

 

[krista4]

It was actually cancelled. HR apparently informed my boss that my 6-month review should take place - wait for it - at the 6 month mark. Go figure.

Could they talk to my boss, who asked me yesterday if I thought he should go ahead and do our mid-year reviews now?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I was at the local Red Devil Pizza the other day, sitting at the bar with my girlfriend, when I looked to my right and saw this creature behind me. I was mesmerized. I knew I must capture this creature on my fairly new Samsung Galaxy S III immediately. I pretended to take a picture of my girlfriend's new glasses and she pretended to pose. As I snapped the picture, the specimen just happened to look up. As I saw the instant image, I was sure I was done for since he was looking right at me. It turns out I just happened to capture his likeness for a miraculous moment, and he continued at his task, unknowing.

Do they give Pulitzers for mullet shots?

LOOK AT ME I HAVE A SAMSUNG GALAZY WHATEVER!

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Regarding gnomes...this is in lieu of our being able to have department holiday parties this year.

Coming soon . . . the Holiday Gnomes.

We personally selected each Gnome to help spread cheer during the Holiday Week Celebration. Your Holiday Gnome will make its first appearance on Monday, December 10 to help us kick off the week-long celebration. Make sure you stop by your team captain’s location (we actually refer to them as Gnomers) to take a peek. You might even consider submitting a name for your Gnome to us at by 5 p.m. on December 10. The name for your Gnome is very important since it represents your group. The winning entry per area will receive two tickets to a Memphis Grizzlies game.

Since our Gnomes are helpers, they’ll work side-by-side with the Gnomers during business hours but they tend to hide when everyone leaves the office for the day. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to find your Gnome every morning after receiving the clue via email from Holiday Headquarters. Gift cards will be awarded to each associate that finds the Gnome and returns it to the Gnomer. Keep in mind, there’s only one gift card per-area, per-day. So if you choose to work as a team, plan to share the winnings.

More details Gnoming soon . . .

No wonder you want to walk out...

 

[YSR]

Regarding gnomes...this is in lieu of our being able to have department holiday parties this year.

Coming soon . . . the Holiday Gnomes.

We personally selected each Gnome to help spread cheer during the Holiday Week Celebration. Your Holiday Gnome will make its first appearance on Monday, December 10 to help us kick off the week-long celebration. Make sure you stop by your team captain’s location (we actually refer to them as Gnomers) to take a peek. You might even consider submitting a name for your Gnome to us at by 5 p.m. on December 10. The name for your Gnome is very important since it represents your group. The winning entry per area will receive two tickets to a Memphis Grizzlies game.

Since our Gnomes are helpers, they’ll work side-by-side with the Gnomers during business hours but they tend to hide when everyone leaves the office for the day. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to find your Gnome every morning after receiving the clue via email from Holiday Headquarters. Gift cards will be awarded to each associate that finds the Gnome and returns it to the Gnomer. Keep in mind, there’s only one gift card per-area, per-day. So if you choose to work as a team, plan to share the winnings.

More details Gnoming soon . . .

Well now of course we need to come up with name for your Gnome.

 

[belljr]

Regarding gnomes...this is in lieu of our being able to have department holiday parties this year.

Coming soon . . . the Holiday Gnomes.

We personally selected each Gnome to help spread cheer during the Holiday Week Celebration. Your Holiday Gnome will make its first appearance on Monday, December 10 to help us kick off the week-long celebration. Make sure you stop by your team captain’s location (we actually refer to them as Gnomers) to take a peek. You might even consider submitting a name for your Gnome to us at by 5 p.m. on December 10. The name for your Gnome is very important since it represents your group. The winning entry per area will receive two tickets to a Memphis Grizzlies game.

Since our Gnomes are helpers, they’ll work side-by-side with the Gnomers during business hours but they tend to hide when everyone leaves the office for the day. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to find your Gnome every morning after receiving the clue via email from Holiday Headquarters. Gift cards will be awarded to each associate that finds the Gnome and returns it to the Gnomer. Keep in mind, there’s only one gift card per-area, per-day. So if you choose to work as a team, plan to share the winnings.

More details Gnoming soon . . .

Sounds DELIGHTFUL!

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

Regarding gnomes...this is in lieu of our being able to have department holiday parties this year.

Coming soon . . . the Holiday Gnomes.

We personally selected each Gnome to help spread cheer during the Holiday Week Celebration. Your Holiday Gnome will make its first appearance on Monday, December 10 to help us kick off the week-long celebration. Make sure you stop by your team captain’s location (we actually refer to them as Gnomers) to take a peek. You might even consider submitting a name for your Gnome to us at by 5 p.m. on December 10. The name for your Gnome is very important since it represents your group. The winning entry per area will receive two tickets to a Memphis Grizzlies game.

Since our Gnomes are helpers, they’ll work side-by-side with the Gnomers during business hours but they tend to hide when everyone leaves the office for the day. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to find your Gnome every morning after receiving the clue via email from Holiday Headquarters. Gift cards will be awarded to each associate that finds the Gnome and returns it to the Gnomer. Keep in mind, there’s only one gift card per-area, per-day. So if you choose to work as a team, plan to share the winnings.

More details Gnoming soon . . .

No Gnome wonder you want to walk out...

Fixed

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

Did one of the Olsen twins get a nosejob to differentiate?

http://cdn.wwtdd.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/olsen_twins_55000_dollar_handbag.jpg

 

[belljr]

Did one of the Olsen twins get a nosejob to differentiate?http://cdn.wwtdd.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/olsen_twins_55000_dollar_handbag.jpg

I think she got a Sharon Stone faceplant

 

[Captain Quinoa]

Regarding gnomes...this is in lieu of our being able to have department holiday parties this year.

Coming soon . . . the Holiday Gnomes.

We personally selected each Gnome to help spread cheer during the Holiday Week Celebration. Your Holiday Gnome will make its first appearance on Monday, December 10 to help us kick off the week-long celebration. Make sure you stop by your team captain’s location (we actually refer to them as Gnomers) to take a peek. You might even consider submitting a name for your Gnome to us at by 5 p.m. on December 10. The name for your Gnome is very important since it represents your group. The winning entry per area will receive two tickets to a Memphis Grizzlies game.

Since our Gnomes are helpers, they’ll work side-by-side with the Gnomers during business hours but they tend to hide when everyone leaves the office for the day. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to find your Gnome every morning after receiving the clue via email from Holiday Headquarters. Gift cards will be awarded to each associate that finds the Gnome and returns it to the Gnomer. Keep in mind, there’s only one gift card per-area, per-day. So if you choose to work as a team, plan to share the winnings.

More details Gnoming soon . . .

Well now of course we need to come up with name for your Gnome.

Gnome ChomskyRufus T. Dickmitten

 

[belljr]

Regarding gnomes...this is in lieu of our being able to have department holiday parties this year.

Coming soon . . . the Holiday Gnomes.

We personally selected each Gnome to help spread cheer during the Holiday Week Celebration. Your Holiday Gnome will make its first appearance on Monday, December 10 to help us kick off the week-long celebration. Make sure you stop by your team captain’s location (we actually refer to them as Gnomers) to take a peek. You might even consider submitting a name for your Gnome to us at by 5 p.m. on December 10. The name for your Gnome is very important since it represents your group. The winning entry per area will receive two tickets to a Memphis Grizzlies game.

Since our Gnomes are helpers, they’ll work side-by-side with the Gnomers during business hours but they tend to hide when everyone leaves the office for the day. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to find your Gnome every morning after receiving the clue via email from Holiday Headquarters. Gift cards will be awarded to each associate that finds the Gnome and returns it to the Gnomer. Keep in mind, there’s only one gift card per-area, per-day. So if you choose to work as a team, plan to share the winnings.

More details Gnoming soon . . .

Well now of course we need to come up with name for your Gnome.

Gnome ChomskyRufus T. Dickmitten

It's a little gnome fact there are
held every year ..

 

[krista4]

Regarding gnomes...this is in lieu of our being able to have department holiday parties this year.

Coming soon . . . the Holiday Gnomes.

We personally selected each Gnome to help spread cheer during the Holiday Week Celebration. Your Holiday Gnome will make its first appearance on Monday, December 10 to help us kick off the week-long celebration. Make sure you stop by your team captain’s location (we actually refer to them as Gnomers) to take a peek. You might even consider submitting a name for your Gnome to us at by 5 p.m. on December 10. The name for your Gnome is very important since it represents your group. The winning entry per area will receive two tickets to a Memphis Grizzlies game.

Since our Gnomes are helpers, they’ll work side-by-side with the Gnomers during business hours but they tend to hide when everyone leaves the office for the day. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to find your Gnome every morning after receiving the clue via email from Holiday Headquarters. Gift cards will be awarded to each associate that finds the Gnome and returns it to the Gnomer. Keep in mind, there’s only one gift card per-area, per-day. So if you choose to work as a team, plan to share the winnings.

More details Gnoming soon . . .

Well now of course we need to come up with name for your Gnome.

Gnome ChomskyRufus T. Dickmitten

That second one especially made me laugh, but you gno me...

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Tanner> Hoping you can help on the Gyp isn't dead angle in the Boardwalk thread.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Tanner et al.Found out our Gnomer on my floor is named "Trykeitha". This is a real person. Seen this one before?What is a Gnomer, you might ask? It's a made-up bull#### thing that companies that don't wish to spend money on come up with to make holidays "fun". Will have to copy and paste some stuff tomorrow. Truly Office Space material.

I am so confused.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Tanner> Hoping you can help on the Gyp isn't dead angle in the Boardwalk thread.

Be right there.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

What is the typical starting salary for a Gnomer? Pretty sure I could handle that.

 

[krista4]

What is the typical starting salary for a Gnomer? Pretty sure I could handle that.

I'll ask Trykeitha.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

What is the typical starting salary for a Gnomer? Pretty sure I could handle that.

I'll ask Trykeitha.

Find out if it comes with bennies etc. I would also like a company logo lanyard TYVM.

 

[Thorn]

Aaaaaand friday is hawaiian shirt day, so if anyone wants to wear a hawaiin shirt...

Ps one of the bobs, John c mcginley, was in the cast of glengarry glen ross that i saw.

 

[heckmanm]

Aaaaaand friday is hawaiian shirt day, so if anyone wants to wear a hawaiin shirt...Ps one of the bobs, John c mcginley, was in the cast of glengarry glen ross that i saw.

"Put down that coffee! Coffee is for people who remember the cover sheets for their TPS reports!"

 

[Guster]

Regarding gnomes...this is in lieu of our being able to have department holiday parties this year.

Coming soon . . . the Holiday Gnomes.

We personally selected each Gnome to help spread cheer during the Holiday Week Celebration. Your Holiday Gnome will make its first appearance on Monday, December 10 to help us kick off the week-long celebration. Make sure you stop by your team captain’s location (we actually refer to them as Gnomers) to take a peek. You might even consider submitting a name for your Gnome to us at by 5 p.m. on December 10. The name for your Gnome is very important since it represents your group. The winning entry per area will receive two tickets to a Memphis Grizzlies game.

Since our Gnomes are helpers, they’ll work side-by-side with the Gnomers during business hours but they tend to hide when everyone leaves the office for the day. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to find your Gnome every morning after receiving the clue via email from Holiday Headquarters. Gift cards will be awarded to each associate that finds the Gnome and returns it to the Gnomer. Keep in mind, there’s only one gift card per-area, per-day. So if you choose to work as a team, plan to share the winnings.

More details Gnoming soon . . .

I would love to include a gnome in my secret santa gift collection... think you can swipe one for me?

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

K4 actually sent me a Bills gnome as part of my secret santa gift last year. Gnome it up!

 

[krista4]

K4 actually sent me a Bills gnome as part of my secret santa gift last year. Gnome it up!

Forgot about that!I've just realized that I'm subconsciously instituting a subtle program to get fired so that I don't have to leave with nothing. In addition to comparing my boss to a squirrel, I've begun working made-up words into e-mails and conversation and insisting to him that they're real in hopes that he'll start using them (he's British and isn't good at American jargon, so he's easily persuaded on this front). I also just ended an e-mail to him with "Kthxbai".Received an e-mail request from someone to approve a contract at 8 this morning, and then a follow up three hours later reminding me because it has to be signed today. My response: "Oh noes! You have incurred a three-hour penalty for the unnecessary reminder!"At least I'm amusing myself. And I've picked up my FFA reading/posting during work again, which is nice.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

My link

(I skipped the "official" video, because there's a 30 second advertisement before it. Yuck.)

 

[proninja]

I bought my wife a Vitamix for Christmas, had the thing shipped out to my folks' house in October. A few weeks ago, our blender crapped out. She started pushing me hard for a vitamix. Being that I'd already bought one, I basically said no. Told her it was way too much to spend on a blender, and went totally cheap ogre on her.

So, yesterday, she buys a vitamix at Costco, then tells me later that night. Looks like she's figured out the forgiveness/permission thing too. It ended pretty well though, because now she feels terrible because she ruined her Christmas surprise by not listening to me. Hopefully that resonates with her the next time this happens. The crappy part is that now I don't have a surprise for Christmas.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

K4 actually sent me a Bills gnome as part of my secret santa gift last year. Gnome it up!

Forgot about that!I've just realized that I'm subconsciously instituting a subtle program to get fired so that I don't have to leave with nothing. In addition to comparing my boss to a squirrel, I've begun working made-up words into e-mails and conversation and insisting to him that they're real in hopes that he'll start using them (he's British and isn't good at American jargon, so he's easily persuaded on this front). I also just ended an e-mail to him with "Kthxbai".Received an e-mail request from someone to approve a contract at 8 this morning, and then a follow up three hours later reminding me because it has to be signed today. My response: "Oh noes! You have incurred a three-hour penalty for the unnecessary reminder!"At least I'm amusing myself. And I've picked up my FFA reading/posting during work again, which is nice.

Start working movie quote shtick into your email sign-offs.

 

[krista4]

K4 actually sent me a Bills gnome as part of my secret santa gift last year. Gnome it up!

Forgot about that!I've just realized that I'm subconsciously instituting a subtle program to get fired so that I don't have to leave with nothing. In addition to comparing my boss to a squirrel, I've begun working made-up words into e-mails and conversation and insisting to him that they're real in hopes that he'll start using them (he's British and isn't good at American jargon, so he's easily persuaded on this front). I also just ended an e-mail to him with "Kthxbai".Received an e-mail request from someone to approve a contract at 8 this morning, and then a follow up three hours later reminding me because it has to be signed today. My response: "Oh noes! You have incurred a three-hour penalty for the unnecessary reminder!"At least I'm amusing myself. And I've picked up my FFA reading/posting during work again, which is nice.

Start working movie quote shtick into your email sign-offs.

Excellent idea. I was thinking of using "YIC" but people here would actually think I was serious.I'm open to any and all shtick suggestions. It's the only way I'm going to get by until March 15, if I decide to stick it out for the payday (which is looking more likely).