GM's thread about nothing (43 Viewers)

[Notorious T.R.E.]

lol

Coach Gus Bradley said Monday that Henne's teammate, Blaine Gabbert, will start the Jaguars' regular season opener, the Florida Times-Union reports.

STEAL

 

[Guster]

So the girl I'm meeting up with on Thursday has me a bit flummoxed... we used to do some work together (she worked for a supplier and was one of my favorite people at that company) and bumped into each other at a bar on Friday. We chatted a bit there and said we should meet up some time to catch up, but it seemed more like a polite thing than something that would actually happen. She reached out yesterday to let me know that she would be in town through Saturday (she lives in Chicago but comes to Cincy 1x/month) and wanted to know if I would be available for coffee or drinks to catch up and let me know that it was nice to bump into me on Friday.

So... We worked out the details to meet up for drinks Thursday (guster doesn't do coffee), but I have no clue if its purely work related or if there is more. For perspective, this is a girl that I have been very interested in for a while and may have described her as "wifeable" to a buddy at one point. At this point I'm thinking of outright asking her if this is a work meeting, a date or something in between... Better advice? Shtick? Suggestions?

You can't rush the game. You just have to play it. Go meet up, let the alcohol work whatever magic it can to loosen her up, and see where it goes.

That's the sort of direct question you pose afterward, not before.

Yeah, not surprisingly, my post above was done under the influence of copious amounts of alcohol.

I wouldn't want to jeopardize the Thursday "date" by asking now. Plus the uncertainty is somewhat exciting - gives me something to look forward to.

 

[Guster]

In Spite of Some Early-Round Value Picks, Stinky Fingers Lands Closer to the Bottom Than the Top

Draft Grade: C+

Ouch.

Stinky Fingers couldn't weave their sixth overall selection into fantasy gold. They're projected to end up 10th in GMTAN Phantacy Futbol League with a mark of 6-7-0 (1,996 points).

Stinky Fingers was quick to scoop up a pair of passers, using two of their first four picks to grab QBs Aaron Rodgers (first round) and Jay Cutler (fourth round). They ended up with one of the worst foursomes of RBs in the league, as they picked up Steven Jackson, Lamar Miller, DeAngelo Williams, and Pierre Thomas for their fantasy stable.

Keeper Analysis

Stinky Fingers decided to disregard their only keeper spot, instead leaving their fantasy fate solely in the hands of the draft.

The Season Ahead

While Week 10 has the most players on bye for Stinky Fingers (5), Week 4 is actually projected to have the team's highest amount of idle fantasy points. They have a harder-than-average schedule when factoring in opponents' projected points. Along with the sixth-most grueling overall schedule, both the first four games and last four games of the season are about league-average difficulty for Stinky Fingers. Stinky Fingers has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Draft Notes

• Best Position: Stinky Fingers has five above-average positions with QB (17.4% above the league positional average) and K (12.0%) projected to lead the way.
• Biggest Steal: Stinky Fingers may have found a steal in the 14th round, grabbing Greg Little (191st overall pick vs. ADP of 127.8).
• On Autopilot: Picking starting RBs should be an academic exercise most weeks for Stinky Fingers, as there's a healthy projected points difference between their third-ranked (DeAngelo Williams) and fourth-ranked (Pierre Thomas) RBs.
• Mr. Mendoza: Jon Baldwin is owned in fewer than 10% of Yahoo! leagues (0%). Let's hope that a.) Stinky Fingers has some solid inside information, or b.) he's a close friend of the family.
• Bargain Hunter: With nine steals in the first 14 rounds (including Greg Little, Pierre Thomas, and Houston), Stinky Fingers made some shrewd moves.
• Super Sleeper: With the hope of a breakout performance, Stinky Fingers grabbed Zach Sudfeld with pick No. 303.

 

[Guster]

In Spite of Some Early-Round Value Picks, Stinky Fingers Lands Closer to the Bottom Than the Top

Draft Grade: C+

Ouch.

Stinky Fingers couldn't weave their sixth overall selection into fantasy gold. They're projected to end up 10th in GMTAN Phantacy Futbol League with a mark of 6-7-0 (1,996 points).

Stinky Fingers was quick to scoop up a pair of passers, using two of their first four picks to grab QBs Aaron Rodgers (first round) and Jay Cutler (fourth round). They ended up with one of the worst foursomes of RBs in the league, as they picked up Steven Jackson, Lamar Miller, DeAngelo Williams, and Pierre Thomas for their fantasy stable.

Keeper Analysis

Stinky Fingers decided to disregard their only keeper spot, instead leaving their fantasy fate solely in the hands of the draft.

The Season Ahead

While Week 10 has the most players on bye for Stinky Fingers (5), Week 4 is actually projected to have the team's highest amount of idle fantasy points. They have a harder-than-average schedule when factoring in opponents' projected points. Along with the sixth-most grueling overall schedule, both the first four games and last four games of the season are about league-average difficulty for Stinky Fingers. Stinky Fingers has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Draft Notes

• Best Position: Stinky Fingers has five above-average positions with QB (17.4% above the league positional average) and K (12.0%) projected to lead the way.
• Biggest Steal: Stinky Fingers may have found a steal in the 14th round, grabbing Greg Little (191st overall pick vs. ADP of 127.8).
• On Autopilot: Picking starting RBs should be an academic exercise most weeks for Stinky Fingers, as there's a healthy projected points difference between their third-ranked (DeAngelo Williams) and fourth-ranked (Pierre Thomas) RBs.
• Mr. Mendoza: Jon Baldwin is owned in fewer than 10% of Yahoo! leagues (0%). Let's hope that a.) Stinky Fingers has some solid inside information, or b.) he's a close friend of the family.
• Bargain Hunter: With nine steals in the first 14 rounds (including Greg Little, Pierre Thomas, and Houston), Stinky Fingers made some shrewd moves.
• Super Sleeper: With the hope of a breakout performance, Stinky Fingers grabbed Zach Sudfeld with pick No. 303.

Knew we should have gone with a better keeper

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

What are these things from? Pretty funny stuff.

 

[Guster]

What are these things from? Pretty funny stuff.

Draft Central > Draft Grades

Draft Grade: B

When a bottom-half draft slot yields top-half results, that's the sign of a strong effort by the GM. Such was the case with Amazon Primelvrs, which flipped its 14th overall pick into a projected fourth-place finish in GMTAN Phantacy Futbol League (8-5-0, 2,075 points). Amazon Primelvrs addressed their need for signal callers immediately, using their first two selections to acquire QBs Andrew Luck (14th overall) and Colin Kaepernick (15th). They landed one of the top tandems of TEs in the league, as they scooped up Rob Gronkowski and Rob Housler.

Keeper Analysis

Amazon Primelvrs decided to disregard their only keeper spot, instead leaving their fantasy fate solely in the hands of the draft.

The Season Ahead

Week 9 looks to be a tough one for Amazon Primelvrs, as it is the week when the most players (8) and most projected fantasy points are on bye. They have one of the least challenging schedules in the league when factoring in opponents' projected points. Amazon Primelvrs could run into an early buzzsaw, as the first four games of their season are projected to be more difficult than the league average. Amazon Primelvrs has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Draft Notes

• Best Position: Amazon Primelvrs has five above-average positions with TE (21.2% above the league positional average) and WR (18.9%) projected to lead the way.
• Biggest Steal: Amazon Primelvrs may have found a steal in the 11th round, grabbing Arizona (154th overall pick vs. ADP of 85.3).
• Consistent Domination: By racking up the most projected points in the league during both the first and second halves of the draft, Amazon Primelvrs established itself as a fantasy contender.
• On the Rise: Amazon Primelvrs hopes to break through this season, led by six players who are projected to significantly exceed their fantasy points from last season.
• Risk Hater: Actuaries love the drafting style of Amazon Primelvrs. They minimized risk by selecting nine consistent players among their 24 picks.
• Bargain Hunter: With six steals in the first 14 rounds (including Arizona, LaMichael James, and Heath Miller), Amazon Primelvrs made some shrewd moves.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Found it:

Draft Grade: B Think you’re better than this? Nominate yourself for the Toyota Hall of Fame and prove it.

When a bottom-half draft slot yields top-half results, that's the sign of a strong effort by the GM. Such was the case with Amazon Primelvrs, which flipped its 14th overall pick into a projected fourth-place finish in GMTAN Phantacy Futbol League (8-5-0, 2,075 points). Amazon Primelvrs addressed their need for signal callers immediately, using their first two selections to acquire QBs Andrew Luck (14th overall) and Colin Kaepernick (15th). They landed one of the top tandems of TEs in the league, as they scooped up Rob Gronkowski and Rob Housler.

Keeper Analysis Amazon Primelvrs decided to disregard their only keeper spot, instead leaving their fantasy fate solely in the hands of the draft.

The Season Ahead Week 9 looks to be a tough one for Amazon Primelvrs, as it is the week when the most players (8) and most projected fantasy points are on bye. They have one of the least challenging schedules in the league when factoring in opponents' projected points. Amazon Primelvrs could run into an early buzzsaw, as the first four games of their season are projected to be more difficult than the league average. Amazon Primelvrs has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Draft Notes

• Best Position: Amazon Primelvrs has five above-average positions with TE (21.2% above the league positional average) and WR (18.9%) projected to lead the way.
• Biggest Steal: Amazon Primelvrs may have found a steal in the 11th round, grabbing Arizona (154th overall pick vs. ADP of 85.3).
• Consistent Domination: By racking up the most projected points in the league during both the first and second halves of the draft, Amazon Primelvrs established itself as a fantasy contender.
• On the Rise: Amazon Primelvrs hopes to break through this season, led by six players who are projected to significantly exceed their fantasy points from last season.
• Risk Hater: Actuaries love the drafting style of Amazon Primelvrs. They minimized risk by selecting nine consistent players among their 24 picks.
• Bargain Hunter: With six steals in the first 14 rounds (including Arizona, LaMichael James, and Heath Miller), Amazon Primelvrs made some shrewd moves.

 

[strykerpks]

What are these things from? Pretty funny stuff.

Yeah I got a kick out of a few of them. They're from Yahoo on the league website

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

This thing is pretty accurate.

 

[Frostillicus]

Led by a Terrific Group of RBs, Oildale Meat Raffle Figures to Contend for the League's Top Spot


Draft Grade: BCoinciding with a juicy draft position (first overall), Oildale Meat Raffle had an outstanding performance. They're projected to finish third in GMTAN Phantacy Futbol League with a record of 9-4-0 (2,101 points). With their first five picks, Oildale Meat Raffle focused on balance, selecting QB Josh Freeman (56th overall), RBs Adrian Peterson (1st) and Matt Forte (28th), and WRs Julio Jones (29th) and Hakeem Nicks (57th). They ended up with the most prolific combo of RBs in the league, as they scooped up Peterson and Forte to carry the load.

Keeper AnalysisOildale Meat Raffle decided to disregard their only keeper spot, instead leaving their fantasy fate solely in the hands of the draft.

The Season AheadWeek 5 appears to be a tricky one, as the top two projected scorers (Adrian Peterson and Josh Freeman) for Oildale Meat Raffle will be relaxing during off weeks. They have one of the weakest slates in the league when factoring in opponents' projected points. Along with the third-easiest overall schedule, both the first four games and last four games of the season are about league-average difficulty for Oildale Meat Raffle. Oildale Meat Raffle has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Draft Notes

• Sturdiest Slot: On a team with five better-than-average positions, QB is the best player grouping on Oildale Meat Raffle (37.7% above the league average for that group).
• The Heist Is On: The other league managers passed over a diamond in the rough. According to ADP, Oildale Meat Raffle got a steal in snatching Marcedes Lewis in the 14th round (196th overall pick vs. ADP of 131.0).
• On Autopilot: Picking starting WRs should be academic most weeks for Oildale Meat Raffle, as there's a healthy projected points difference between their third-ranked (Andre Roberts) and fourth-ranked (Justin Blackmon) WRs.
• The Bargain Whisperer: Oildale Meat Raffle was hunting for deals throughout the draft, snapping up nine steals in the first 14 rounds (including Marcedes Lewis, Minnesota, and Michael Bush).
• Digging Deep: Darius Reynaud is owned in less than 10% of all Yahoo! leagues (0%). Perhaps he will reward Oildale Meat Raffle for their faith.
• Golden Handcuff: Oildale Meat Raffle hedged their bets by scooping up Toby Gerhart in the 18th round to back up Adrian Peterson, his Vikings teammate (a first-round selection).

 

[Idiot Boxer]

We got a D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[strykerpks]

We got a D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, for DE-licious

 

[Guster]

We got a D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

clearly their grading system is rigged

 

[Idiot Boxer]

We got a D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, for DE-licious

Eggs-actly

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Is it a good sign that JAX/KC and ARI/STL are going to be big games for me in week 1?

 

[charvik]

We got a D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, for DE-licious

Eggs-actly

Can you post ours?

 

[DocGonzo]

Update on last 15 pages?

Promotion has been an interesting challenge. Manageable, but consuming.

Bigger issue - custody fight over my 4 y.o. Daughter. Handful of you know on FB so no explanation required what she means to me.

Prayers ( ha!) OK good thoughts appreciated. Uphill fight for any single dad but know I am well equipped and resources are available/actively working the issue.

Thoughts/anecdotes/advice offered would be gratefully received. Not here much but value the collective wisdom of GMTAN.

Best of luck buddy.

Yup. Hope it works out for you.

I don't have any kids and I don't practice in the child custody area so I don't have a lot of insight. But if it makes you feel any better at all I can tell you that I have two good buddies who both have won custody battles recently. Traditionally, as many people on this board can attest, it's an area that has been an uphill battle for fathers. If nothing else, just keep reminding yourself that these are winnable.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Draft Grade: C

Ouch. Prove these ratings wrong by nominating yourself for the Toyota Hall of Fame.

A mediocre draft slot can often result in a mediocre draft performance. Picking 13th overall, Ice Bags & Nachos is projected to land in eighth place in GMTAN Phantacy Futbol League with a record of 7-6-0 (1,994 points). Ice Bags & Nachos opted for balance early, selecting QB Tom Brady (16th overall), RB DeMarco Murray (41st), WR Andre Johnson (44th), and TE Jimmy Graham (13th) within the first five rounds. They have one of the lowest-scoring pairs of RBs in the league, as they added Murray and Rashard Mendenhall.

Keeper Analysis

Ice Bags & Nachos decided to disregard their only keeper spot, instead leaving their fantasy fate solely in the hands of the draft.

The Season Ahead

Week 10 appears to be a tricky one, as the top two projected scorers (Tom Brady and Brandon Weeden) for Ice Bags & Nachos will be relaxing during off weeks. They have a harder-than-average schedule when factoring in opponents' projected points. In addition to having the fifth-most grueling overall schedule, Ice Bags & Nachos has the league's second-toughest first four games and softest last four games of the season. Ice Bags & Nachos has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Draft Notes

• Best Position: Ice Bags & Nachos has four above-average positions with TE (19.4% above the league positional average) and QB (19.3%) projected to lead the way.
• Biggest Steal: If other Yahoo! users are right, Ice Bags & Nachos got a steal in the 13th round, when they selected Dexter McCluster (181st overall pick vs. ADP of 116.4).
• On Autopilot: Picking starting RBs should be an academic exercise most weeks for Ice Bags & Nachos, as there's a healthy projected points difference between their third-ranked (Jacquizz Rodgers) and fourth-ranked (Denard Robinson) RBs.
• Bargain Hunter: With six steals in the first 14 rounds (including Dexter McCluster, Atlanta, and Denard Robinson), Ice Bags & Nachos made some shrewd moves.
• Risk Lover: Ice Bags & Nachos would play well in Vegas; they rolled the dice on 11 gambles in 24 picks.
• Returning to Greatness: If special teams contributions count in GMTAN Phantacy Futbol League, Ice Bags & Nachos may have found a gem in Dexter McCluster. Including his 1,223 projected return yards, he ranks ninth in the league with 1,802 all-purpose yards.

Grades are effed...see bolded above

 

[Bogart]

Despite Some Early Steals, Reese's Power Still Has Work To Do Draft Grade: C Ouch. Prove these ratings wrong by nominating yourself for the Toyota Hall of Fame.

Selecting in the bottom half of the first round (10th overall), Reese's Power was unable to conjure up any fantasy magic. With a projected record of 5-8-0 (1,966 points), they're picked to finish 11th in GMTAN Phantacy Futbol League. With eight WRs on the roster, Reese's Power might have more quantity than quality at that spot; their WRs are projected to average 138 points this season, fewer than the league average of 175. They landed the worst set of WRs in the league, as they scooped up Roddy White, Mike Williams, Kenny Britt, and Nate Burleson for their rotation.

Keeper Analysis Reese's Power used their only keeper position to hold on to Jamaal Charles (5.2 ADP). From an ADP perspective, he is as valuable as a draft pick in the top half of the first round.

The Season Ahead Week 12 appears to be a tricky one, as the top two projected scorers (Michael Vick and Andy Dalton) for Reese's Power will be relaxing during off weeks. They have a tougher-than-average slate when factoring in opponents' projected points. Reese's Power will need to be playing their best as the playoffs approach, as the last four games of their season are projected to be more difficult than the league average. Reese's Power has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Draft Notes

• Strongest Position: With four better-than-average positions on Reese's Power, RB (8.3% above the league average) and QB (6.6%) are projected as especially strong units.
• On Autopilot: Picking starting RBs should be an academic exercise most weeks for Reese's Power, as there's a healthy projected points difference between their third-ranked (Knowshon Moreno) and fourth-ranked (Mikel Leshoure) RBs.
• Biggest Steal: If other Yahoo! users are right, Reese's Power got a steal in the 14th round, when they selected Dallas (187th overall pick vs. ADP of 117.2).
• On Autopilot: Picking starting WRs should be academic most weeks for Reese's Power, as there's a healthy projected points difference between their third-ranked (Kenny Britt) and fourth-ranked (Nate Burleson) WRs.
• No Country for Old Men: With an average of 6.1 years of NFL experience, Reese's Power is the oldest team in the league.
• Mr. Irrelevant: Reese's Power may know something no one else does, grabbing Luke Stocker, who is on a squad in less than 10% of all Yahoo! leagues (0%).

 

[Idiot Boxer]

We got a D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, for DE-licious

Eggs-actly

Can you post ours?

I can only see it from my phone. Site is blocked here at work.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Just got an e-mail from Cal's para. He was mad about something inconsequential and told her to F off. I can see my parenting techniques are really paying dividends.

Just.

Kill.

Me.

Now.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Led by a Terrific Group of RBs, Oildale Meat Raffle Figures to Contend for the League's Top Spot


Draft Grade: BCoinciding with a juicy draft position (first overall), Oildale Meat Raffle had an outstanding performance. They're projected to finish third in GMTAN Phantacy Futbol League with a record of 9-4-0 (2,101 points). With their first five picks, Oildale Meat Raffle focused on balance, selecting QB Josh Freeman (56th overall), RBs Adrian Peterson (1st) and Matt Forte (28th), and WRs Julio Jones (29th) and Hakeem Nicks (57th). They ended up with the most prolific combo of RBs in the league, as they scooped up Peterson and Forte to carry the load.

Keeper AnalysisOildale Meat Raffle decided to disregard their only keeper spot, instead leaving their fantasy fate solely in the hands of the draft.

The Season AheadWeek 5 appears to be a tricky one, as the top two projected scorers (Adrian Peterson and Josh Freeman) for Oildale Meat Raffle will be relaxing during off weeks. They have one of the weakest slates in the league when factoring in opponents' projected points. Along with the third-easiest overall schedule, both the first four games and last four games of the season are about league-average difficulty for Oildale Meat Raffle. Oildale Meat Raffle has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Draft Notes

• Sturdiest Slot: On a team with five better-than-average positions, QB is the best player grouping on Oildale Meat Raffle (37.7% above the league average for that group).
• The Heist Is On: The other league managers passed over a diamond in the rough. According to ADP, Oildale Meat Raffle got a steal in snatching Marcedes Lewis in the 14th round (196th overall pick vs. ADP of 131.0).
• On Autopilot: Picking starting WRs should be academic most weeks for Oildale Meat Raffle, as there's a healthy projected points difference between their third-ranked (Andre Roberts) and fourth-ranked (Justin Blackmon) WRs.
• The Bargain Whisperer: Oildale Meat Raffle was hunting for deals throughout the draft, snapping up nine steals in the first 14 rounds (including Marcedes Lewis, Minnesota, and Michael Bush).
• Digging Deep: Darius Reynaud is owned in less than 10% of all Yahoo! leagues (0%). Perhaps he will reward Oildale Meat Raffle for their faith.
• Golden Handcuff: Oildale Meat Raffle hedged their bets by scooping up Toby Gerhart in the 18th round to back up Adrian Peterson, his Vikings teammate (a first-round selection).

Pretty sure I deserve all the credit for this.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Just got an e-mail from Cal's para. He was mad about something inconsequential and told her to F off. I can see my parenting techniques are really paying dividends.

Just.

Kill.

Me.

Now.

There's a very good chance she had it coming. I'm just saying.

 

[Disco Stu]

Draft Grade: C

• Returning to Greatness: If special teams contributions count in GMTAN Phantacy Futbol League, Ice Bags & Nachos may have found a gem in Dexter McCluster. Including his 1,223 projected return yards, he ranks ninth in the league with 1,802 all-purpose yards.

Grades are effed...see bolded above

I don't know why the "if" is included there, but they are definitely taking return yardage into consideration. Dwayne Harris was referred to as our third receiver.

 

[General Malaise]

If you haven't noticed already, Yahoo! is up and operational. You may submit your starting lineups now. Ours is....well, ours just is. Sorry Kev. Thanks be to all participants for muddling through what was - at times - a laborious draft with plenty of warts, no pun intended (is that a pun? I'm not good with irony or puns). Glad to have it in our rear view mirror and if nothing else, it should be....interesting. And with this group, I'm sure it'll be somewhat funish. Thanks for putting up with me and my oddities. Good luck to you all!

If you haven't paid up already, please make arrangements to do so. If you need either my paypal address or mailing address, PM me and I'll send it out. Thanks!

Paid:
Team Sweatier Vests

Ice Bags and Nachos

Partially Paid:
Oildale (Frosty, who had fees dinged, so I'm short $0.66 cents)

UNPAID

Everybody else and half of Tanner

 

[Disco Stu]

Sturdiest Slot: On a team with five better-than-average positions, QB is the best player grouping on Oildale Meat Raffle (37.7% above the league average for that group).

Freeman/Flynn/Locker?

 

[General Malaise]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is a para?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Draft Grade: C

• Returning to Greatness: If special teams contributions count in GMTAN Phantacy Futbol League, Ice Bags & Nachos may have found a gem in Dexter McCluster. Including his 1,223 projected return yards, he ranks ninth in the league with 1,802 all-purpose yards.

Grades are effed...see bolded above

I don't know why the "if" is included there, but they are definitely taking return yardage into consideration. Dwayne Harris was referred to as our third receiver.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

If you haven't noticed already, Yahoo! is up and operational. You may submit your starting lineups now. Ours is....well, ours just is. Sorry Kev. Thanks be to all participants for muddling through what was - at times - a laborious draft with plenty of warts, no pun intended (is that a pun? I'm not good with irony or puns). Glad to have it in our rear view mirror and if nothing else, it should be....interesting. And with this group, I'm sure it'll be somewhat funish. Thanks for putting up with me and my oddities. Good luck to you all!

If you haven't paid up already, please make arrangements to do so. If you need either my paypal address or mailing address, PM me and I'll send it out. Thanks!

Paid:

Team Sweatier Vests

Ice Bags and Nachos

Partially Paid:

Oildale (Frosty, who had fees dinged, so I'm short $0.66 cents)

UNPAID

Everybody else and half of Tanner

Wait...you want me to pay you or Frosty?

 

[krista4]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is a para?

I was having a helluva time with that, too.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is a para?

Paraprofessional (teacher's aide, instructional aide, special needs aide etc etc)

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

If you haven't noticed already, Yahoo! is up and operational. You may submit your starting lineups now. Ours is....well, ours just is. Sorry Kev. Thanks be to all participants for muddling through what was - at times - a laborious draft with plenty of warts, no pun intended (is that a pun? I'm not good with irony or puns). Glad to have it in our rear view mirror and if nothing else, it should be....interesting. And with this group, I'm sure it'll be somewhat funish. Thanks for putting up with me and my oddities. Good luck to you all!

If you haven't paid up already, please make arrangements to do so. If you need either my paypal address or mailing address, PM me and I'll send it out. Thanks!

Paid:

Team Sweatier Vests

Ice Bags and Nachos

Partially Paid:

Oildale (Frosty, who had fees dinged, so I'm short $0.66 cents)

UNPAID

Everybody else and half of Tanner

$$ Sent

 

[Abraham]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is a para?

I'm picturing a Swedish nanny that doesn't wear a bra. Hopefully I'm right, makes the story better.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Sturdiest Slot: On a team with five better-than-average positions, QB is the best player grouping on Oildale Meat Raffle (37.7% above the league average for that group).

Freeman/Flynn/Locker?

BWAHAHAAHA

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Paratrooper.

 

[Limp Ditka]

paraplegic

 

[Abraham]

Although they selected 12th overall, Sweatier Vests came through with a solid draft performance. They're projected to finish with a record of 9-4-0 (2,115 points), placing them second in GMTAN Phantacy Futbol League. Sweatier Vests addressed their need for signal callers immediately, using their first two selections to acquire QBs Matthew Stafford (12th overall) and Matt Ryan (17th). They have the best foursome of RBs in the league, as they picked up Darren Sproles, David Wilson, Mark Ingram, and Ben Tate for their fantasy stable.

Keeper AnalysisSweatier Vests decided to disregard their only keeper spot, instead leaving their fantasy fate solely in the hands of the draft.

The Season AheadWeek 8 figures to test the depth of Sweatier Vests, as it is the week when the most players (9) and most projected fantasy points are on bye. From the perspective of opponents' projected points, they have one of the least difficult slates in GMTAN Phantacy Futbol League. Sweatier Vests has the opportunity to close with a hot streak, as the last four games of their season are projected to be less difficult than the league average. Sweatier Vests has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Draft Notes

• Sturdiest Slot: On a team with four better-than-average positions, RB is the best player grouping on Sweatier Vests (25.4% above the league average for that group).
• On Autopilot: Picking starting RBs should be an academic exercise most weeks for Sweatier Vests, as there's a healthy projected points difference between their third-ranked (Mark Ingram) and fourth-ranked (Ben Tate) RBs.
• On Autopilot: Picking starting WRs should be academic most weeks for Sweatier Vests, as there's a healthy projected points difference between their third-ranked (Steve Smith) and fourth-ranked (Santonio Holmes) WRs.
• The Heist Is On: The other league managers passed over a diamond in the rough. According to ADP, Sweatier Vests got a steal in snatching Dwayne Allen in the 14th round (185th overall pick vs. ADP of 136.9).
• Bargain Hunter: With eight steals in the first 14 rounds (including Dwayne Allen, New York, and Vincent Brown), Sweatier Vests made some shrewd moves.
• Golden Handcuff: Sweatier Vests hedged their bets by scooping up Mark Ingram in the 11th round to back up Darren Sproles, his Saints teammate (a third-round selection).

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Just got an e-mail from Cal's para. He was mad about something inconsequential and told her to F off. I can see my parenting techniques are really paying dividends.

Just.

Kill.

Me.

Now.

There's a very good chance she had it coming. I'm just saying.

She's very sweet and good looking and I would like to make her.......I mean she's very sweet, intelligent and has helped us a lot.

Paratrooper.

 

[Disco Stu]

Powered by a Few Early Steals, Elderly ###### AIDs Looks to Have a Breakthrough Campaign
Draft Grade: B

Elderly ###### AIDs parlayed a solid draft slot (fifth overall) into a respectable performance. With a mark of 8-5-0 (2,053 points), they're projected to finish sixth in GMTAN Phantacy Futbol League. Elderly ###### AIDs opted for balance early, selecting QB Sam Bradford (52nd overall), RB LeSean McCoy (5th), WR Dez Bryant (24th), and TE Jason Witten (61st) within the first five rounds. They landed one of the highest-scoring pairs of TEs in the league, as they added Witten and Fred Davis.

Keeper AnalysisElderly ###### AIDs decided to disregard their only keeper spot, instead leaving their fantasy fate solely in the hands of the draft.

The Season AheadWeek 11 figures to be a difficult one for Elderly ###### AIDs. Among all weeks this season, it has both their largest number of players (4) and projected fantasy points on bye. They have a softer-than-average schedule when factoring in opponents' projected points. In addition to having the seventh-easiest overall schedule, Elderly ###### AIDs has the second-softest last four games of the season. Elderly ###### AIDs has a well-balanced schedule this season, avoiding prolonged stretches against either the projected top or bottom teams in the league.

Draft Notes

• Strongest Position: With three better-than-average positions on Elderly ###### AIDs, WR (17.2% above the league average) and DEF (13.7%) are projected as especially strong units.
• On Autopilot: Picking starting RBs should be an academic exercise most weeks for Elderly ###### AIDs, as there's a healthy projected points difference between their third-ranked (Shane Vereen) and fourth-ranked (Roy Helu) RBs.
• Team of Champions: Elderly ###### AIDs has a lineup sprinkled with proven fantasy winners. Across all Yahoo! leagues last season, three of their players finished among the top 20 in percentage of times on a championship roster. They include Dez Bryant, Reggie Wayne, and Matt Bryant.
• The Heist Is On: The other league managers passed over a diamond in the rough. According to ADP, Elderly ###### AIDs got a steal in snatching New England in the 11th round (145th overall pick vs. ADP of 86.3).
• Earning Your Paycheck: Elderly ###### AIDs will have some hard decisions to make each week at WR, with a scant projected points difference between their third- (Dwayne Harris), fourth- (Brian Hartline), and fifth-ranked (Stevie Johnson) WRs.
• Cream of the Crop: At three different roster slots, Elderly ###### AIDs picked up projected top-3 players (including Matt Bryant, Jason Witten, and New England).

"A respectable performance" greatly exceeded our expectations.

That's what she said.

 

[strykerpks]

What are the fees per team/person? I'll take a PM for paypal or mailing address for cash/shtick

 

[flysack]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is a para?

Paraprofessional (teacher's aide, instructional aide, special needs aide etc etc)

This. They usually sit in on classes with kids who have special needs, in Cal's case his outrageous awesomeness and poetic way with words requires someone to be with him at all times so he doesn't swindle all his classmates and mack with the student teacher sorority girls. Dude is that good.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is a para?

Paraprofessional (teacher's aide, instructional aide, special needs aide etc etc)

This. They usually sit in on classes with kids who have special needs, in Cal's case his outrageous awesomeness and poetic way with words requires someone to be with him at all times so he doesn't swindle all his classmates and mack with the student teacher sorority girls. Dude is that good.

Stick to blood, Andres Serrano.

 

[UOFI_316]

Led by a Stellar WR Corps, Jr High Cheerleaders Looks to Have a Breakthrough Campaign

Draft Grade: B

Think you’re better than this? Nominate yourself for the Toyota Hall of Fame and prove it.

A mediocre draft slot can often result in a mediocre draft performance. Picking ninth overall, Jr High Cheerleaders is projected to land in seventh place in GMTAN Phantacy Futbol League with a record of 7-6-0 (2,060 points). Jr High Cheerleaders addressed their need for signal callers immediately, using their first two selections to acquire QBs Peyton Manning (9th overall) and Tony Romo (20th). They ended up with the least prolific pair of RBs in the league, as they added Darren McFadden and Daryl Richardson.

Keeper Analysis

Jr High Cheerleaders decided to disregard their only keeper spot, instead leaving their fantasy fate solely in the hands of the draft.

The Season Ahead

Whether by good fortune or well-planned strategy, Jr High Cheerleaders has secured a favorable bye week schedule for their superstars. Of their top five players in projected points, none share a common off week. From a projected points standpoint, they have a less-challenging-than-average schedule. In addition to having the sixth-easiest overall schedule, Jr High Cheerleaders also has the second-easiest first four games of the season. A soft stretch might begin in Week 4, when Jr High Cheerleaders plays projected bottom-tier teams for three games in a row (Es Pipi, Reece's, Stinky Fingers).

Draft Notes

Strongest Position: While Jr High Cheerleaders is projected to have three better-than-average positions, QB is clearly their best unit (22.0% above the league average).

The Heist Is On: The other league managers passed over a diamond in the rough. According to ADP, Jr High Cheerleaders got a steal in snatching Keshawn Martin in the 14th round (188th overall pick vs. ADP of 94.6).

On Autopilot: Picking starting WRs should be academic most weeks for Jr High Cheerleaders, as there's a healthy projected points difference between their third-ranked (Larry Fitzgerald) and fourth-ranked (Keshawn Martin) WRs.

Bargain Hunter: With eight steals in the first 14 rounds (including Keshawn Martin, Kyle Rudolph, and Tyler Eifert), Jr High Cheerleaders made some shrewd moves.

Consistency Is My Middle Name: With eight consistent players among their 24 picks, Jr High Cheerleaders is looking for reliable help.

Aging Stars: The top half of the roster (from a projected points perspective) is relatively old (ranked No. 1 in the league with an average of 7.3 years of NFL experience), whereas the bottom half is fairly young (No. 12 with 3.9 years).

They have to be taking return yardage into account is Fitz is our #3 WR.

 

[flysack]

I think I need to take a break from Breaking Bad.

A position at the local library is opening up next week, and I had the approval and recommendation of the person currently working it. Yesterday I found out administrative politics pulled the rug out on me before I got traction. The current woman is leaving next week, and administration decided to fill the spot with a temp volunteer who has more experience than me (didn't even know this person existed). That's it. Done. The official position will be open to application in early 2014, which of course means I'll be competing against someone who already has roughly 6 months experience on the frigging job. I guess I could hope she effes it up, right?

So I immediately got down on myself, and after a few punches to my own gut (no, not literally), I began thinking about breaking bad by starting my own porn company, in secret from my wife. I even thought of people I could get involved, what genre I would work, how I would swear to not cheat on my wife no matter what happens, how I'd want it to be "ethical" and as non-sleazy as possible and would involve a few female artists I know in decisions, etc. I seriously thought about this for like two hours (at one point even thinking: I should contact Raider Nation about this). It'd be for Flaming Bird's college money, SAT prep classes, the whole Walter White nine yards.

Then I 'woke up' and remembered where, exactly, lying about a sleazy side profession got ole' Heisenberg (at least in Season 3). Yea.

 

[flysack]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is a para?

Paraprofessional (teacher's aide, instructional aide, special needs aide etc etc)

This. They usually sit in on classes with kids who have special needs, in Cal's case his outrageous awesomeness and poetic way with words requires someone to be with him at all times so he doesn't swindle all his classmates and mack with the student teacher sorority girls. Dude is that good.

Stick to blood, Andres Serrano.

Sorry I didn't entertain you enough, Harold Bloom.

 

[General Malaise]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is a para?

Paraprofessional (teacher's aide, instructional aide, special needs aide etc etc)

Shouldn't Bob have one of those at all times too?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is a para?

Paraprofessional (teacher's aide, instructional aide, special needs aide etc etc)

Shouldn't Bob have one of those at all times too?

You met her at Coshole.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

PARENTING TIP:

If your kid needs to enroll in a new school go ahead and wait until the day before school starts or even the actual day school starts. No sense in wasting a perfectly good summer day with unimportant stuff like enrolling your kid in school. Besides, teachers and school officials love a surprise and don't do much planning ahead any way.

Mrs. SLB had to work today so she was gone early which left the boys strictly under my jurisdiction. I already instituted "no TV, computers or vidya games Tuesdays" for today and the future until I change my mind. So it was fun to remind them of that this morning. I've decided every morning will be like this on school days going forward.

So instead of three people riddled with Dory, I had those two little bastards dressed, fed, teeth brushed and rooms cleaned with time left over for Dylan to play on the swingset and Cal to read some of his book. Then we walked the mile to school and they arrived before the bus would have even gotten to our house. The foot, it has been put down.

Jesus, what time did you get up?

Cal around 6:30, Dylan I woke up at 7:15. Bus doesn't get to our house (the bus stop is our driveway) until 8:20.

 

[shuke]

PARENTING TIP:

If your kid needs to enroll in a new school go ahead and wait until the day before school starts or even the actual day school starts. No sense in wasting a perfectly good summer day with unimportant stuff like enrolling your kid in school. Besides, teachers and school officials love a surprise and don't do much planning ahead any way.

Mrs. SLB had to work today so she was gone early which left the boys strictly under my jurisdiction. I already instituted "no TV, computers or vidya games Tuesdays" for today and the future until I change my mind. So it was fun to remind them of that this morning. I've decided every morning will be like this on school days going forward.

So instead of three people riddled with Dory, I had those two little bastards dressed, fed, teeth brushed and rooms cleaned with time left over for Dylan to play on the swingset and Cal to read some of his book. Then we walked the mile to school and they arrived before the bus would have even gotten to our house. The foot, it has been put down.

Jesus, what time did you get up?

Cal around 6:30, Dylan I woke up at 7:15. Bus doesn't get to our house (the bus stop is our driveway) until 8:20.

Impressive. Mornings are absolute chaos at my house.

 

[shuke]

Can I get some backstory on the TRE-flysack rivalry please?